In this episode, I'm sharing about an existential breakdown I had, you could call this a midlife crisis, only I wasn't midlife. This breakdown led me to becoming selfish, but don't worry, it's not the narcissistic type of selfishness we've all become conditioned to despise. It was something completely different from the orthodox definition. Come join me as we dive deep into this topic, Renegades.
In 2018 I was on a journey to make a million dollars. It was a huge goal and milestone. I hit that milestone and much to my surprise, it left me feeling terrible and bankrupt. Not to be ungrateful, but I just couldn't figure out why I had that reaction to this major milestone.
I wanted to move the goal post further out after a brief 15 seconds of excitement and ‘celebration’, if you want to call it that. I knew something was misaligned.
I realized that happiness, joy, peace, success, my self worth, my self love, all of these things were always just on the other side of these transient goal posts.
Beginning in elementary school, I was taught that performance was tied to self-worth. I was not recognized for creativity or passion. Listen in for more.
Society (no matter where you live) has systems in place that are designed to indoctrinate you and enslave you to the point where you begin to build your own prison. You can be free at any time, because the doors are wide open, but you choose not to be because you're afraid to go against the grain and do something opposite than what society tells you is the right thing to do.
I definitely believe society has a way of encouraging us to hand over our power to labels outside of us. That way, when the label is shattered or it goes away for some reason, so does our identity, and that causes trauma. That trauma takes time and energy to heal, and that leaves us disempowered. And there's nothing a society loves more than a disempowered citizen, because a disempowered citizen is much easier to control.
I decided to make myself my biggest priority back in 2019. I was going to embrace being selfish.
I ditched the negative stigma around selfishness. The more selfish I became, the better I showed up for others, the more I could give to those around me. I could be more helpful to humanity, because as I became selfish and self centered, I learned to love myself as I am.
This expansion created space for new topics, new concepts that I never had time to explore before.
I'm hopeful that we'll continue to shed the disempowering conditioning and reclaim our individual power & sovereignty, and get back to our true essence. Join me next time as we explore what it means to be an eternal, multidimensional Divine being.
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