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Scriblets

Scriblets

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An occasional short form podcast featuring bite-sized chunks of satire and humor.

Scriblets

Available episodes

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Episode 29: I Ate Nothing but Old AA Batteries for a Week and the Results Were Amazing!

Episode 28: Tim Hawthorne: State Finals Ping-Pong Champion

Episode 27: Oh, To Think Like a Bird

If you like my words, but hate my voice, you can read all episodes (and future episodes!) by following me on Medium here: https://medium.com/@clif-haley You can also find me at […]

Episode 26: 10 UNBELIEVABLE Facts About America

Episode 25: New Study PROVES DemoRats Have IQs Lower than APES! (CONSERVATIVE POV)

Hate to break it to all you libtards, but I’ll use small words so your feeble brains can comprehend: science man say you dumb dumb.

Episode 24: Failed Fishing at the Family Hunting Cabin

With the Texas outdoor temperatures finally dropping out of Fahrenheit ranges typically only used to melt industrial steel, I decided to get back to nature by spending the weekend with my brother out at our old family hunting cabin situated in the Texas Hill Country near the Pedernales River.

Episode 23: Journal Entries No. 1

Random excerpts from my daily journal…

Episode 22: A Largely Inaccurate History of the McDonald’s Arches

McDonald’s was founded at some point in the past by restaurateur brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald who had a vision to revolutionize the way people developed type 2 diabetes.

Emory Crider and the One Dollar Bounty – Chapter One

This episode is a bit different. It’s the first chapter of a mildly humorous “dime novel” by Scriblets that may end right here or may continue on if it seems […]

Episode 21: How to Turn an Old Gas Grill into a Fire Pit

We had an old gas grill taking up room behind our shed, so I got creative with it.

Episode 20: Ricky Tango, Hawson’s Bovinery Hoof Rendering Floor Supervisor

Hi. My name is Ricky Tango. I work at Hawson’s Bovinery in Teet, TX. Here at Hawson’s Bovinery we do everything that can possibly be done with a cow and all under one roof.

Episode 19: A Few Words on the Economy

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the American economy lately. Specifically about that part of the American economy that involves my wallet, because that specific part has recently become what we in economic circles refer to as “empty.”

Episode 18: “Gourmet” Sandwiches

I just had Subway for lunch and I was once again surprised at how much it didn’t suck.

Episode 17: Scriblets Crumbs No. 1

Three extremely short bits not long enough to be their own episodes: 1) Hand Crafted Murdering Knives 2) If the Dukes of Hazzard had Google Maps 3) A Foolproof Method for Finding a Mate Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scriblets)

Episode 16: Home Fries

Tim marveled at the home fries. They were quite different here at Lindy's in New York City than what he'd grown up consuming as home fries back in Texas. Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scriblets)

Episode 15: Schmedley Part III

Part three of a three part short story. Victor Kennedy is but a simple man. He works a boring job and lives with his dog Schmedley in a quiet suburban neighborhood. But Victor's life - and the lives of everyone - are about to change drastically as dogs take over the world. You can read the full story here: https://www.clifhaley.me/schmedley/ Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scriblets)

Episode 14: Schmedley Part II

Part two of a three part short story. Victor Kennedy is but a simple man. He works a boring job and lives with his dog Schmedley in a quiet suburban neighborhood. But Victor's life - and the lives of everyone - are about to change drastically as dogs take over the world. You can read the full story here: https://www.clifhaley.me/schmedley/ Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/scriblets)

Episode 13: Schmedley Part I

Part one of a three part short story. Victor Kennedy is but a simple man. He works a boring job and lives with his dog Schmedley in a quiet suburban neighborhood. But Victor's life - and the lives of everyone - are about to change drastically as dogs take over the world.

Episode 12: Ricky Tango, Jr. Tells a Space Story

Ricky Tango Jr called me the other day and left me this voicemail. I'm pretty sure he didn't make this story up.

Episode 11: How to Make French Toast

Making French toast is extremely easy especially if you’re French. If you’re not French but just a cultural-appropriating monster who would like to take advantage of a long-established culinary history you had no hand in creating for your own selfish (and tasty) desires, then read on.

Episode 10: Clear the Tracks!

Episode 9: Welcome to Reality. May I Take Your Order?

If you are a college student, I strongly suggest that you go ahead and get an internship at a fast food restaurant in your area. That way you’ll be fully prepared to enter the job market when you graduate in 10 years.

Episode 8: Smoke Screen: Confessions of a Tobacco Junkie

I have come to the decision that I will never, ever, never smoke another cigarette for as long as I live unless there happens to be one near me.

Episode 7: I Almost Cut My Hand off with a Meat Cleaver

The summer before my freshman year in high school circa late 1980-something I almost cut my hand off with a meat cleaver. I’m sure I did many other things that […]

Episode 6: Ricky Tango, Jr. Becomes a Man

I was ten years old the day I became a man. I was out under the pecan tree eating porridge from my favorite armadillo shell when I heard Momma scream. I ran as fast as my 8-year-old legs could carry me (my legs have always been late bloomers) and came upon a horrific sight. Momma had been sucked into the combine. Poppa was there trying to pull her out, but ended up ripping the scalp right off her head. I don’t know why he was pulling her by the hair instead of her arms. Grown-ups can be peculiar I learned that day.

Episode 5: I’m a Real Stand Up Employee with My New Standing Desk

I recently purchased a standing desk for my home office so I can stand up while working. No, I’m not a self-loathing masochist, I just got tired of sitting on my ass all day. You see, I sit while at work, then when I need a break I go out to the living room to watch TV while sitting. Sometimes I want some fresh air, so I’ll take a stroll out to our pond where I have a nice comfy chair to sit in and read. Then when the work day is all done I get to reward myself with a few hours of sitting on my ass until I go to bed where I do a form of extreme sitting called lying down!

Episode 4: Staying Fit During the Pandemic: 5 Tips from an Unqualified Nobody

Staying physically fit during a worldwide pandemic can be difficult. Trust me. I’ve found it so difficult I haven’t even tried.

Episode 3: How I Completely Failed to Upgrade My Son’s Laptop

Science never ceases to amaze me. Why, just the other day science amazed me by making my 11-year-old son’s computer almost impossible to upgrade.

Episode 2: Ricky Tango, Jr. Under the Couch

Harrowing tale of young Ricky Tango, Jr.’s sad life living under his morbidly obese parents’ couch.

Episode 1: Food Amazes Me

Food amazes me. I’m not talking about the kind of naturally occurring food you can just yank off a tree or run down on the highway, I’m talking about the kind of food people make by mixing things together in a test kitchen or laboratory.

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