Modern Love
Modern Love
Oct 14, 2020
Season Premiere: Driveway Elegies
28 min

This episode contains strong language.

On the first episode of the new Modern Love podcast, we hear from two women who examine their lives through the contents of their homes — the car in the driveway, the stained teacups, the razor and shaving cream by the sink. Though easy to ignore, these everyday objects often tell a larger story.

Featured stories:

  • “Bye Bye ‘Family’ Minivan," Kyrie Robinson
  • “Tracking the Demise of My Marriage on Google Maps,” Maggie Smith


Maggie’s story was narrated by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

You can find more information on today's episode here.

Death, Sex & Money
Death, Sex & Money
WNYC Studios
I Killed Someone. Now I Study Police Violence.
Tom Baker is getting his PhD in criminology, and as part of his research he's spent hours watching and studying police shootings. "The goal is to identify...things that police are doing that could be changed in some fundamental way, or maybe just tweaked in a slight way, so that you reduce the number of officer-involved shootings and police related deaths," he told me. This research is personal for Tom. In 2009, while he was working as a police officer in Phoenix, he shot and killed a man while on an off-duty security shift. The killing was determined to be legally justified, but Tom has struggled with it more and more. "You live in a culture where taking a life is the worst thing you can do," Tom told me. "I was trying to do what I thought was the right thing....But then when I didn't feel guilty about it and I didn't feel bad about it, I think the initial thing was feeling, feeling wrong for feeling that way. So feeling guilty for not feeling guilty." Tom left the police force in 2014. But he remains connected to that community, while also forging new relationships within the academic world. "I feel like I'm sort of like straddling the fault line in our country right now," he said. "I don't know if I'm going to just fall into the chasm." Police killings are not tracked federally, but are tracked by several organizations, including Mapping Police Violence, Fatal Encounters and The Washington Post. A recent study using data from Fatal Encounters examined the risk of being killed by police use of force by age, race-ethnicity and sex, and found that black men are 2.5 times more likely than white men to be killed by police. And while police killings nationally have remained somewhat steady since 2013, the number of deaths in cities have dipped, while the number of deaths in suburban and rural areas has risen. In 98% of cases since 2013, police faced no charges after killing someone. To read Tom Baker's article in The Guardian, click here.
39 min
Terrible, Thanks For Asking
Terrible, Thanks For Asking
American Public Media
Happyish Holidays 2020
This episode features conversations with people doing the best they can in difficult circumstances. Like Dr. Lucy Kalanithi, whose husband Dr. Paul Kalanithi was a notable and rising brain surgeon who wrote When Breath Becomes Air, a bestselling memoir about his fatal battle with cancer. And comedian Amber Tozer, who tells a funny and poignant story about walking in on her mother’s wedding… on Christmas Day. We will also talk with some of the women of the Hot Young Widows Club on their hopes and dreams for the upcoming year. Plus, stories of people’s worst Holidays ever. This year, we’re bringing our Happyish Holidays episode to you in a new way...a live video stream brought to you by our sponsor Shutterfly. RSVP at HappyishHolidays.com Our twice-monthly newsletter features behind-the-scenes content, previews of upcoming episodes and more. Sign up. When you shop our Bookshop.org store, you support the author, independent bookstores AND our show! Shop here. Shop for your favorite TTFA gear at TTFAmerch.com Read the transcript for this episode here. You can catch up with TTFA on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook using @ttfapodcast. Nora's Instagram is @noraborealis. TTFA is public media. Which means we are supported by you. You can join us with a contribution at ttfa.org/donate Go to HappyishHolidays.com to RSVP to the livestream event! And check out our sponsors this week: Shutterfly: shutterfly.com Help A Human Out: helpahumanout.co Still Kickin’: stillkickin.co
50 min
How to Save a Planet
How to Save a Planet
Gimlet
Trying to Talk to Family about Climate Change? Here's How
It’s important to talk about climate change. But how do you talk about it with friends and family who don't believe it's real, or don’t think we can do anything about it? We hear from a father and son who successfully navigated this conversation, and we bring you step-by-step tips from an expert on how to have a conversation where both sides actually hear each other. Maybe try it out this socially-distanced Thanksgiving! For more details, sign up for our newsletter. Here are the six steps outlined by Steve Deline with the New Conversation Initiative on how to have difficult conversations about climate change. Step 1 – Set realistic expectations for yourself! Your initial goal should be to lower the temperature around this issue. Even if you just succeed in attempting to talk to them one on one, or expressing a DESIRE to do so, that’s an important step forward! Do NOT set yourself an expectation that you will change how they feel about climate all in one go!  Step 2 – Find a buddy! Find someone you trust and feel comfortable with who’s down to be your support before and after having a challenging conversation with a friend or family member. Talk to them about what your fears are, and name some goals for what you’re doing to make this one go different.  Step 3 – Find a quiet moment to talk to your family member Ideally do it when you can be one-on-one, NOT surrounded by the whole family at the actual Thanksgiving table! Be direct and say “Hey, I’d love to find a time to talk more about this.” So that they have a chance to opt in. Step 4 – Listen! When the time comes to talk, start by letting them know that you really want to understand how they feel about climate change. Listen, and ask follow up questions “Tell me more? Why do you feel that way?” But importantly, DON’T RESPOND. Don’t engage with the parts that you disagree with. Just give them a chance to talk it out and be heard, you want to let them get the crux of their feelings on the subject off their chest.  Step 5 – Acknowledge that you disagree Let them know what you think. For example “Got it. So you’re probably not surprised to hear it but I think climate change is real and human-caused.” But then most importantly, say “BUT I really want to find a way to talk to you about it openly, and better understand what each other thinks, even if we don’t agree.” In other words, name the elephant in the room – that you disagree – and name it without being upset about it! Step 6 – Make it personal. Turn the conversation away from dueling facts, and towards life and experiences. For example, I might share a story about my friend Laurel, whose sister lost her home to a wildfire in Paradise, CA, and how hearing her story was the first time I felt a knot of fear in my stomach, that my own community could be in danger of the same thing. The key here is to share vulnerably, and then talk about how it made you FEEL. And then (most importantly) invite them to do the same – bring emotion explicitly into the conversation. Some more resources that we recommend: The Secret to Talking about Climate Change, from the Alliance for Climate Education How to Talk About Climate Change at Thanksgiving Dinner feat. Dr. Katharine Hayhoe, by Young Evangelicals for Climate Action Bob says to send your conservative family members to RepublicEN.org, where they can talk to them in the language of conservatism A few of the research papers telling us that climate conversations matter: Discussing global warming leads to greater acceptance of climate science Children can foster climate change concern among their parents The influence of personal beliefs, friends, and family in building climate change concern among adolescents If you have a conversation about climate change, do us a favor and tell us about it! We’d love to hear how it went and what it felt like. Record a short voice memo on your phone and send it to us at howtosaveaplanet@spotify.com. We might use it in an upcoming episode.
38 min
Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris
ABC News
#302: The Words of the Buddha | Bhikkhu Bodhi
When I first got interested in meditation, all the talk of the Buddha that I encountered in the various books I was reading and lectures I was attending seemed like more of a bug than a feature. I was looking for science-backed stress relief, not religion. But the more I learned, the more interested I became in the Buddha. He was, after all, not a god or a prophet. He was, based on the available evidence, a mortal man who made no claims about the creation of the universe. In fact, to the extent that he did make metaphysical claims, he explicitly told people: don’t believe anything because I tell you. Meanwhile, he laid out a set of meditation instructions and an approach to the human situation that, in my experience, are extraordinarily practical and valuable. And yet, many of today’s meditators don’t know much about who the Buddha was or what he actually taught. Hence today’s guest, the Venerable Bhikkhu Bodhi. He was born Jeffrey Block in Brooklyn, became a Buddhist monk as a young man, and then went on to become one of the premier translators of Buddhist scripture. In this conversation, we talk about: why it can be so helpful for meditators to know what the Buddha taught; how these teachings survived for centuries before they were ever written down; how he makes sense of the teachings on karma and rebirth; the Buddha’s daily schedule; what kind of person the Buddha was; and what the Buddha taught about staying engaged in politics. Before we started rolling, I asked Bhikkhu Bodhi how I should address him, and he said many people call him “Bhante,” which is a term that is used in Buddhist circles to address monks, and translates into something like “venerable sir.” Where to find Bhikkhu Bodhi online: Website: https://bodhimonastery.org/ven-bhikkhu-bodhi.html Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bhikkhu.bodhi.1 Books Mentioned: •   The Noble Eightfold Path: The Way to the End of Suffering by Bhikkhu Bodhi http://www.noblepath.org/audio.html?fbclid=IwAR3dAFyckLujaBuYe1y8v0arh9UTq6XLsS_bQHq-layEdGVoA_cfoqVfODg •   Return to Life: Extraordinary Cases of Children Who Remember Past Lives by Dr. Jim B. Tucker: http://www.jimbtucker.com/return-to-life.html •   What the Buddha Taught by Walpola Rahula Thero http://www.ahandfulofleaves.org/documents/What%20the%20Buddha%20Taught_Rahula.pdf •   The Foundations of Buddhism by Rupert Gethin https://bookshop.org/books/the-foundations-of-buddhism/9780192892232 Other Resources Mentioned: •   Dr. Ian Stevenson’s research on Perceptual Studies (apparitions, past lifetimes, and near death experiences) - https://med.virginia.edu/perceptual-studies/who-we-are/dr-ian-stevenson/                                                              •   Buddhist Global Relief - https://www.buddhistglobalrelief.org/ Additional Resources: •   Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live •   Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide •   Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Show Notes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/Bhikkhu-Bodhi-302
1 hr 15 min
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