Episode 16: Spirit Moose, A Texas Televangelist, and Smarter Monkeys
Kathleen opens the show thanking listeners for the fun feedback regarding the last episode with the Grand Termite, Ron White, as a guest. She enjoys a bloody Mary and a “beer back” out of her favorite Four Corners Brewery pint glass, pretending that she’s in Milwaukee where they commonly serve Bloody Mary’s with a side glass of your favorite draft beer.
“BAD GOOD FOOD”: In her quest for new and delicious not-so-nutritious fast food, Kathleen shows off her holiday classic Virginia Diner Old Bay seasoned peanuts, which she thinks are the perfect welcome treat during the holiday season. She then moves on to describe crossing “enemy lines” meaning Walmart’s entrance to purchase a family-sized boxed serving of Patti LaBelle’s Good Life mac & cheese to enjoy at Thanksgiving, motivated since the singer’s sweet potato pie made headlines and sold out last Christmas. Kathleen then moves on to tell listeners about a favorite bit that comedian and friend George Wallace does regarding Patti LaBelle’s sweet potato pie.
DOLLY PARTON PHILANTHROPIC VACCINE: Kathleen has previously described Dolly Parton as her spirit animal leader amongst the Pubcast clan of feminist idols, and she’s thrilled to read to listeners Dolly’s announcementthat she has provided $1 million in funding to find a vaccine for the COVID-19 pandemic. Kathleen continues on to read a tweet from Dolly’s sister Stella Parton, who chastises President Trump for trying to take credit for the vaccine that her sister is funding, and is delighted to disclose to listeners that Stella Parton recently followed her on Twitter.
BUTTERBALL HELPLINE: Kathleen is getting ready to cook her first Thanksgiving turkey, and in researching how to prepare her bird for the big day, she tells listeners of her great experience gathering information via the Butterball Turkey website and hot line. The iconic Butterball Turkey Talk-Line volunteers have been answering turkey related questions each holiday seasonfor over 30 years.
MICHIGAN MILITIA UPDATE: Kathleen reads the latest information on the recent plot to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. New filings claim there was a Plan B that the 14 chargedmilitiamen had drawn up, involving a takeover of the Michigan capitol building by 200 combatants who would stage a week-long series of televised executions of public officials.
MORE MURDER HORNETS: As a follow up to Episode 14, Kathleen tells listeners that a giant Asian murder hornet has been discovered around southern British Columbia, Canada. These hornets measure approximately two inches in length and pose little risk to humans, but could create significant problems for beekeepers on the continent if they become established in North America as an invasive species.
EGYPTIAN COFFIN OPENED: Kathleen reads an article involving the discovery of 59 sarcophagus’s unearthed at a location south of Cairo last month. Egyptian archaeologists opened a sealed 2,600-year-old coffin to the amazement of onlookers, and Kathleen provides her opinions on the reasons why this disruption could have added to the chaotic atmosphere of 2020, and therefore shouldn’t have been unsealed.
MIAMI MARLINS NEW GM: In an unprecedented move, the Miami Marlins have hired Kim Ng as their new general manager, making her Major League Baseball's first female General Manager. Ng began her career in baseball as an intern, and Kathleen reveals that she also started her own career as an intern at the St. Louis Blues, but has little hope of rising the ranks in any corporate setting.
CANADIAN SPIRIT MOOSE: Kathleen reads a recent article coming out of Timmons, Ontario that a white moose, believed to be a “spirit moose” and considered sacred by locals, has been killed. The animals are a sign of good luck in indigenous culture, and there is a prevailing rule that they should be spared from hunters. Kathleen reveals to listeners that she also has an area on her leg without pigmentation, and therefore she can be referred to as a “spirit comedian.”
TELEVANGELIST VS. HAPPY BLOG: As many listeners know, Kathleen has a slight obsession with tv evangelists. Texas-based televangelist Kenneth Copeland has become the latest victim of Russian hacking group REvil, who published on their dark web headquarters, Happy Blog, that they had accessed sensitive info from Copeland's firm. Kathleen muses the ransom that she would demand from Copeland if she possessed this type of information.
SMARTER MONKEYS: Kathleen reads an article just released by Japanese and German researchers regarding a recent study on a group of monkeys. Scientists made monkey brains double in size by splicing them with human genes in a “Planet of the Apes”-style experiment. During the study, researchers injected a gene into living primate brains that resulted in those organs becoming more human-like and ultimately, scientists opted to abort the monkey fetuses due to “unforeseeable consequences.”
RARE VIKING SHIP DISCOVERED: Kathleen loves the Viking culture and history, and one of her favorite shows on tv is Vikings on the History Channel. She’s delighted to share with listeners that archaeologists in Norway have discovered the remains of a Viking age ship using ground-penetrating radar.
WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEK: Kathleen tells listeners to watch ESPN’s E:60 “Project 11” detailing quarterback Alex Smith’s severe leg injury, rehab, and eventual return to the NFL. She also loves the Netflix movie “The 12thMan” based on a true story about a Norwegian saboteur’s harrowing struggle to reach safety after escaping a Nazi attack in Norway during World War II.
MYSTERY OF THE WEEK: Kathleen discusses the mystery behind the tiny Scottish town of Loch Leven, otherwise known as “the Isle of Discussion,” where arguments are settled with cheese and whiskey.