Deliciously Ella
Deliciously Ella
Jun 17, 2019
Why We Sleep with Matthew Walker
48 min

Why do we sleep, how much does it matter, how much sleep do we really need, to what extent do lifestyle factors like coffee, alcohol and technology affect our ability to sleep? Today we’re talking to Matthew Walker, the award winning author of bestseller ‘Why We Sleep’ about sleep, getting to grips with our sleep cycles, the connection between sleep and our mental and physical health, how to sleep better and why we need to make it a priority.

 

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Yoga Girl: Conversations From The Heart
Yoga Girl: Conversations From The Heart
Rachel Brathen
Trauma Healing Meditation + Understanding The Signs Your Body Is Trying To Show You
Do you remember what it felt like to be a child before the world got to you? There was a time in your life when you were totally present, moving with the rhythms of your natural essence, allowing your being to be exactly as it was. When did that stop? Somewhere along the way, we start to become separate from our bodies. Maybe for you, this shift happened slowly, or maybe something unbearable came your way that forced you to grow up too fast. Did you feel unsafe in your body? Were you convinced your body was not good enough? Most importantly, what coping mechanisms did you learn along the way to shield you from this pain - and how do they show up in your life still today? We all live with various coping mechanisms that we have learned in response to trauma, hardship and pain, and they played a crucial role in our development. When we were younger these learned behaviors kept us safe, they protected our nervous system, they tucked away our worries and fears so we could deal with them at a later time. That time is now. If you are experiencing the same patterns over and over again, if you check out, if you dissociate - it is likely happening because you are being triggered by something that reminds you of the real pain from your past. The difference now is that you finally have the tools to heal and process. The universe may be hitting you on the head with the same problems over and over again, and that means it is time to find the underlying causes and to truly let them go. We often think healing takes a grand gesture - a trip to a mountaintop or an intense yoga retreat on the beach. But the first moment of healing happens when you realize you’ve left yourself, and you bring yourself back. That first moment of awareness is all it takes. Over time, you leave yourself less and less. In today’s episode, Rachel shares her own recent and personal experience of physically letting go. It’s hard, it hurts - but when you heal now you heal what was then. At the end of today’s episode, Rachel shares some valuable journaling prompts so you can dive into an actionable practice on your healing journey. Tune in to return home to what you’ve always been at your core. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
1 hr 22 min
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
Shannon Ables
294: How to be the Director of Your Life: 6 Key Components
"You shouldn't dream your film, you should make it!" —Steven Spielberg To live actively requires we take action. Seems simple enough, but if teaching my students as well as myself to refrain from using passive verbs versus active verbs in writing indicates anything, defaulting to the passive is happens to be a hard habit to break. What if we are defaulting in the same way in our everyday life and, even more largely, in our vision of how our journey will unfold? A new-to-me podcast, Solo: The Single Person's Guide to a Remarkable Life, shared an insightful approach to living life which caught my attention immediately. What if we, instead of being the hero of our own lives, choose to be the director? Think about it for a moment. When we look at a film from the point-of-view from the real world, the hero in the film/movie/novel/play merely follows the directions of the person behind the camera - the Greta Gerwigs (Oscar nominated director for Little Women), the Kathryn Bigelow (Oscar winning director for The Hurt Locker), the Steven Spielbergs (Oscar winning director for Lincoln), the Amma Asantes (Mrs. America), the Jennifer Getzingers (Orange is the New Black and Mad Men), the Julie Delpys (2 Days in Paris), and the Patty Jenkins (Wonder Woman). “Humble perseverance and the ability to observe and grow, in pursuit of making what you love and believe in. Really. THAT is the secret”. —Patty Jenkins, director of Wonder Woman To be the director of our lives assumes the responsibility of having a larger vision for the purpose of each scene, each chapter; however, within each moment, each interaction and revelation, the director knows fully how to craft a scene so as to bring forth a dedication to being present, fully engaged and intentionally clear and knowing about living fully. Being a hero, in theory, is not a bad directive, but it neglects the reality of being a hero - whether saving themselves or another or an entire vast swath of others - the climatic drama of adversity is assumed. And then there is the tragic hero. No thank you. This is not to say that we can direct ourselves to avoid all conflict and adversity. No. From such unwanted and unplanned pains, we grow, we learn, and we gain wisdom, clarity, and strength; however, if we only relegate ourselves to being the hero, we follow a script written by another and directed by someone else as well. While there have been directors who directed themselves, there is a reason why only one has done so and been able to capture an Oscar for both roles - Roberto Benigini in Life is Beautiful (1999), which also one for best Foreign Film as well. It's hard to see yourself clearly - your actions, facial expressions, energy on screen with another, etc.. But wait, if you direct your life, aren't you also the hero? Valid point, and an important one to make. Yes. You are in all actuality both the director and the hero, but again, the director decides who leaves a scene when, how the interactions with others will play out, which details must be included in a shot to further understanding for the audience, what remains out of the shot, the colors of the attire, where the scene is set, the background, the music, all of the details as well as the over-arching storyline (and while often the director is also the playwright or at the very least has some say in how the screenplay is depicted and can mold and tweak it to what would be best for the film, the director has the full reins of the production). What I am saying is we must not forget our primary job - to be the director of our one and only life. Let's take a look at everyday and large over-arching choices and actions imperative for directing our lives well. 1.Who are you? Taking the time to know yourself, unearth your talents, becoming honest about your weaknesses but refusing to let them halt the direction you wish to travel sits at the foundation of a well-lived life. ~Read this three-part series on How to Get To Know Yourself ~Read/Listen to this post/episode to discover how knowing ourselves is the most important ingredient for a healthy relationship with another (episode #179) 2. Learn how to love well Loving well is a skill. We do not know innately how to love another human being as doing so involves emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Models of love or what is purported as love surround us, but many are faulty and derive from a genesis rooted in control, insecurity and many other unhealthy constructs. To follow leads to pain. Knowing leads to peace. Know how to love, and life will blossom. ~In episode #287, discover 5 Things to Do to Build a Healthy Relationship (inspired by the book - How to Be An Adult in a Relationship) ~Listen to episode #166 to discover how to be One Half of a Healthy Relationship ~One of my favorite books on love and being loving in a relationship inspired episode #128 - The Quest for a Soulmate: The Myth Hindering an Amazing Love Life 3. Understand the value of boundaries and understand they will evolve Boundaries define us, as Henry Cloud reminds. Literally, the lines we put in our lives define what we will step forward and try and what we will not. Boundaries can limit us. Boundaries can protect us. Boundaries paradoxically can set us free. Knowing how to set boundaries after we have discovered what our boundaries need to be for the chapter in our life we find ourselves gifts us with a powerful foundation. Without boundaries, the wind can take us where it will because we don't know what where we want to go and we certainly don't know how to head in the right direction. On the flipside, rigidity when it comes to boundaries can be harmful if it prevents us from exploring what we are capable of sharing with the world. Ah, a tenuous dance which requires of each of us to do our own homework, not follow, because it is our heart, our life that will be set free when we find the sweet spot between the right boundaries and vulnerability. (Listen to episode #126 to discover the Powerful Couple that is Boundaries & Vulnerability.) 4. Learn the skill of effective nonviolent communication For every director who wins praise from their cast and crew, there is a director who bullies, rants and whines. Effective communication, nonviolent communication, is a skill we must choose to learn if we want to have a fulfilling life and strong and healthy relationships with others. To model said communication, observe someone who understands the components of nonviolent communication certainly helps us to acquire the skill, but we must take it one step further to understand why they are communicating as they are. We must again be the student for our lives to reach their fullest potential. As I shared in episode #293, I highly recommend reading Marshall Rosenberg's book Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. I have read and will reread this book for understanding how to understand anger, understanding the four basic steps of clear, effective, empathetic communication, and how to honor my own journey, letting go of guilt, shame, anything the outside world wishes me to feel in order to stop me from traveling a path that brings joy. Effective communication with ourselves and others is the way toward directing an award-winning life to continue with the analogy. To clearly convey and know what you wish to materialize, you need to be able to work with others being empathetic and aware along the way, not only of those who will walk with you or cross your path, but with yourself. 5. Understand and practice the fundamental physical components of you To delve a bit deeper into the physical aspect of #1, knowing how your body, your mind, your temperament function and how they can function well will give you a roadmap of how to design the set of your life. It will also help you clearly understand what your boundaries need to be. 6. Be Brave Living an active life, being the director of your own life demands of you to t…
32 min
The Perfectionism Project
The Perfectionism Project
Sam Laura Brown
Ep 237: 10 Subtle Ways Your All-Or-Nothing Mindset Is Keeping You Stuck
Today I’m sharing with you 10 subtle ways your all-or-nothing mindset is keeping you stuck - especially when it comes to business. This is something that I see a lot in our PGSD coaching calls - all of the subtle, hidden ways that the all-or-nothing mindset manifests itself when it comes to business. A lot of times we think of the all-or-nothing mindset in terms of health and fitness but there are a lot of subtle ways that it shows up. The more we recognise these ways the better equipped we are to stop that all-or-nothing behavior and actually get into the growth mindset which is going to help us create results. So in this episode, I’m sharing 10 examples with you for how your all or nothing mindset is keeping you stuck. In This Episode You’ll Learn: * The subtle ways the all-or-nothing mindset is holding you back * Why you feel like you aren’t making any progress with your goals * Tips and tricks to break the all-or-nothing cycle * The common mistake that is stopping you from learning and growing Featured In The Episode: * Perfectionists Getting Shit Done - my group coaching program * FREE Training - How To Build A Full-Time Coaching Business Without Getting Laughed At Join us in Perfectionists Getting Shit Done If you enjoy listening to this podcast, I highly recommend joining my group coaching program Perfectionists Getting Shit Done. When you become a member of our community, you’ll get instant access to my proven process for building a full-time coaching business without getting laughed at. It’s called the Full-Time Formula and it’s all yours, alongside our coaching calls, courses and PGSD Private Podcast, as soon as you sign up. Join our group coaching program today at samlaurabrown.com/membership
36 min
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