Jonathan Cain shares about why dads matter and about his own father. We have valued men as wallets more than as dads. The result is moms feel deprived of resources and dads feel deprived of purpose and children feeling deprived of the full range of parenting. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Start children often the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it."
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Hi is Jonathan Cain, and I'm back with my podcasts anchored. Today I'd like to talk about something close to my heart. Why fathers matter? As some of you may know, if you read my book, don't stop believing. I grew up with an amazing father, a father who I adored. I consider my vision keeper, my mentor, who had an even temperament, who was always there in a loving, kind way, supportive, and he would lift us up. And he was prophetic in a way that he could say, this is going to be your destiny. And he'd stand behind it. He would be there. No matter how hard you fell, every time to encourage and inspire and be confident. My dad was a cool daddy. Oh, he walked in confidence. And he gave all of us boys. I grew up with two brothers. An amazing confidence. And I couldn't imagine growing up living a life Without him, I mean, I wouldn't be the same man. And when he passed on, I believe that I harvested his beliefs in me, and so I shine my light twice as brighten. So I guess this is why this matters to me so much is I think I see fathers maligned in our society today and I see men stumbling. Well, I still believe that fathers matter. And I believe my dad matters. Here's a musical tribute to my father. My dad matters because he gave me his last name because it's blood runs through my veins. His blood would always lead the way. And math was my hub from oh god me shoes when man god gratitudes of joy when I was was always came to my rescue led me to the crow. Save me the crow My father is gone now but he's firmly implanted in my heart and my memories and he's part of my DNA. So once again, I couldn't imagine trying to have grown up without having a father. So I've kind of a first hand experience of what is St. Leonard looks like if you know what I mean. This was a guy that was self made that you know started in Arkansas with a seventh grade education and turn out to be an amazing father and and family project. For us for all the years, and he died very suddenly and 63 came down with cancer and left us quite suddenly. So dad, we miss you. The more I looked at fathers and families, kids, generations, the more interesting things became. And it didn't surprise me when I looked at some of the facts and figures. You know, as recently as a generation ago in the 1970s. Most psychologists and other experts thought that besides bringing home a paycheck, fathers didn't matter much for their kids. There was a much evidence for the irrelevancy of fathers, but there wasn't a lot of data to suggest they were even relevant. Few had asked the question, and nobody had the answer. The irrelevancy of fathers had become an article of faith among researchers, and why would any of them question something they knew to be true? Then researchers started challenging that assumption and studying father's roles in greater detail. To sum up their conclusions we know now that fathers are vastly important in their children's lives in ways that both scholars and parenting experts have overlooked. As far back as World War two researchers noticed that us children whose fathers were away at war when their children were four to eight years old, later had problems with peer relationships. The same was true for Norwegian sailors who were away for months at a time. Their fathers were not there to help them learn how to behave with others. The children were consequently less popular and hardly surprisingly less satisfied with their relationships with our friends. In a separate study, one group of researchers watched the fathers in their homes, playing with a three year old and four year old children. Teachers were then asked to rank the children according to their popularity among the classmates and preschool children whose fathers engaged in the most physical and enjoyable play had the highest popularity ratings. Featured Six verse four says fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. Dr. Warren Farrell, psychologist and author of father and child reunion was intrigued with why children with act of fathers do so well. In an attempt to better understand it, he spent more than a decade analyzing worldwide research. I knew when I started this research that dads were important, but I had no idea how important says feral. We are 100% certain that children do better in 26 areas when they grow up. In within tech families. Children clearly pay a price when their fathers walk away, or mothers keep dads away. A father's impact starts at birth. For example, boys who have contact with their fathers show greater levels of trust, and only five or six months. A study of black infants found the more interaction the boy had with a father, the higher his mental competence and so Echo motor function by the age of six months. As children grow fathers teach children to have empathy. dads are usually more firm about enforcing boundaries. teaching children to take boundaries seriously teaches them to respect the needs and rights of others. He said fathers also play a huge role in teaching delayed gratification. The single most important highway to maturity feral says when children are allowed to do something without having to do anything to get there. It undermines this process. Children with fathers present in the home do better academically, especially in math and science. This is true even if they come from weaker schools. They buy to Harvard researchers found that even when race education, poverty and other factors are equal living without a dad doubled the child's chance of dropping out of school. Another study of boys with similar backgrounds founded by Third grade. Boys with present fathers scored higher on every achievement test. They also received higher grades. The more years children spend with their single mothers, the fewer years of school they complete. When fathers at present children have better mental health feral says they are more likely to get along with other children sleep well at night, be trusting of others, and are less likely to be aggressive or participate in risky behavior. The National Center for Health Statistics reports that a child living with his or her divorce mother, compared to living with both parents is 375% more likely to need professional treatment for emotional or behavioral problems. 90% of homeless or runaway children are from fatherless homes. Most gang members come from mother only households as early as 1993. Studies show that dads also influence whether their sons became teenage fathers. A Temple University study found no boys born to teen mothers became teen fathers, if they had close relationships with their biological fathers, compared to 15% of those who didn't have that closeness, for report said that US has done a better job of integrating women into the workplace than integrating men into the family, especially into the lives of children in the non intact family. We have valued men as wallets more than as dads. The result is moms feel deprived of resources and dads feel deprived of purpose and children feeling deprived of the full range of parenting. I turned to the word, Proverbs 22 verse six says, start children often the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it. Here's another song I wrote for my father. This is called my old man. winner was how we got here my father he was say Remember today as a father of three, I am grateful for the loving, committed father that I grew up with the mentor, my hero Leonard. And I pray today for an awakening a revival among fathers and families that recognize the leadership, the authority the father should have in our families and societies around the world. Fathers do matter. This concludes my podcast anchor, and I'll be back with more. I leave you now with a song from my album what God wants to hear Bolden prayer. I am drawn to your throne of seeking your mercy to offer true In the home, you truly love and shape this place with the Holy Ghost