For years, I thought I had an idea of what a boundary was. I even thought I was implementing them in my home and my relationships.
But it turns out, I was wrong. Boundaries can be really confusing and I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did. So, today I am going to give you a big picture idea of what a boundary is.
Imagine yourself walking along the beach and you find a stick. You take that stick and draw a big long line across the sand.Boundaries are lines in the sand that tell others, “I’m not willing to cross this line. This is as far as I will go."
"You can walk next to me, but there is a point I will need to stop. And when we reach it, I would love for you to respect me and stay with me, but if you must step over my line, you will need to do it alone."
"I will no longer be walking with you. I might be waiting for you if you decide to come back and join me. And I may miss you, or I may miss only parts of you. But I will not cross this line.”
My line in the sand is for my protection.
It took me years to figure out where this line should be drawn.
I have said, "Yes, I will marry you," when I really meant, "No, get sober first and then I will wear your ring."
I woke up the kids to bail you out of jail when I should have left you there to get sober.
I've turned down the invitation to attend the funeral of a high school friend so I could keep an eye on how many bottles you were consuming.
I lied for you over and over to strangers and family.
I convinced myself that if you’re just smoking pot that it's better than alcohol or cocaine.
I kept justifying away the boundaries I knew I needed. I didn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. I didn’t want to upset anyone. It seemed easier to just ignore that feeling inside me that was saying, “This isn’t okay, Michelle."
I know you have gone through painful times. You might be in a great deal of pain right now. So, please... use my rich history of pain to reflect and ask yourself, "Where are your boundaries being compromised?"
Now that I am older and wiser, I respect my line. I honor it and cherish my boundaries. I publicly acknowledge them and I will not hide them.Boundaries serve me and protect me.
What is your line? Have you looked for a stick on that beach you’ve been walking along and had the courage to make that line long and clear and deep? Or is your line little and easily erased when someone steps on it during their journey?
If you want to learn more about boundaries, join me in our new program called Love Over Boundaries.
You'll complete the program with two major accomplishments:
Boundaries are necessary skills for all women to master, whether you're in love with a man or woman who drinks too much or suffers from substance abuse or not.
Boundaries can help improve your relationship with your children and friends as well as improve your physical and spiritual health.
Seriously... mastering the skill of setting and keeping healthy boundaries might be the best thing you’ve done for yourself.Check out the program here and join me and hundreds of other women. You don’t need to do this alone. We will be there to encourage you, to challenge you and to cheer you on every step of the way.