12/4: Florida Man Friday - Panty Stealing Mailman, Pit bull Ransom, Robert Kraft Hand Job Update
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On Today's Episode of Hard Factor: Florida Man Friday edition....
-Carol Baskin of Big Cat Rescue and Tiger King fame learned a tough lesson this week: tiger's don't just eat the people that you want them to, sometimes they eat people that you don't want them to. On Thursday Candy Couser, a geriatric "volunteer" at Baskin's murder zoo in Tampa, lost an arm to a hungry three year old tiger called Kimba. Baskin was quick with warm words (crafted by her attorney) when telling the Tampa Bay Times about the incident
“I know everybody feels really bad about this, and we all love Candy so much. (But) it’s that kind of instant misjudgment that could cost you guys a limb or life,”
Tough beat for Candy who barley survived the attack and among other things, ruined any shot of her ever pitching in the bigs.
-A Florida Man named Jeffrey Parris was hard up for cash so he stole the prize possession of any Florida Man lucky enough to have one... a pitbull with papers. Parris tried to ransom the dog back to the owner for a $20k ransom, threatening to kill the K9 if he didn't get his money. Unfortunately for Parris police got involved and now Parris is the one in the dog house (sorry). Looks like this dog will live to dog-fight another day.
-The hard working and soft handed women of hand-job shop Orchids of Asia are still getting tugged around by the Florida court system related to the many many stress relief therapy sessions they administered to Patriot's owner Robert Kraft and other rich hand-sex lovers last year. While Kraft remains uncharged in scandal, the women fingered in the sting are having to endure giant loads of court fines with one woman holding the sac for over $26,000 in fees.
-A 36-year-old Stock Island fruit juice stand owner was arrested Tuesday for threatening to shoot the owner of a competing fruit juice stand for undercutting him with unmatchable sugar cane juice prices.
-In an honorary Florida Man story, we explore the story of a Wisconsin woman who makes her living selling her lightly/heavily used panties to horny weirdos on the internet. The used lingerie entrepreneur contacted the Kenosha County Sheriff’s Department in July about a about a series of missing packages and how they might be related to interactions with a man who had been contacting her for panties and identifying himself as her mailman.
-These stories + voicemails and reviews.
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