His name was Rocky. Like all Westies (he was a White West Highland Terrier; commonly called Westies) he'd cock his head when he was puzzled. You may be puzzled, too. I often am. Which is why I'm always asking questions. And I'm great at it - asking questions, that is. By the way, I lost Rocky a few years ago and he gave me quite a lot. I gave him a lot, too. In a word, love!
Today's question is pretty stinking ancient, but it's not as ancient as another question that is asked more, "What do you have to give me?" Flip it and let's not think about ourselves from a "getting" perspective but from a "giving" perspective.
But let's start with keeping score. I'm competitive, but I'm not a scorekeeper. I'm am blessed. Grateful.
I'm a baby boomer, born in an old-school era. Where kids could ride in the back of a pickup truck through town. And not be pulled over by cops.
I'm an American. A country with tremendous opportunities and freedoms.
I'm blessed with a ton of empathy. I was emotionally intelligent before I even knew that was a thing.
I'm an INFJ. Highly intuitive. Introversion (I), Intuition (N), Feeling (F), Judgment (J) --- and it's a blessing. I own it. Long ago I learned I might as well because I'm unable to change it.
I'm candid. And that's a blessing, too.
I'm a speed freak. Okay, blessing and curse somewhat. No, much more a blessing.
Knowing who you are and how you have to roll isn't keeping score. But there's more.
You also have to know what you're afraid of. We all have a ton of fear! Life has absolutely been terrific at teaching me that fear is THE culprit that spoils success. It paralyzes people. It gives people an excuse. Tons of them. It stops us before we even get started. And it's almost always tied to somebody. Somebody close to us. Somebody we love. Somebody who may love us. Or may just say they do.
Fear causes us to hide. It feels safe, but it's deceptive. Dangerous. It lulls us into behavior that wrecks any opportunities we have to achieve, grow and reach a higher capacity for our lives. Fear is a nasty, ridiculously effective enemy.
Why then would we wrap it around our shoulders like a comforter on a bitterly cold night?
Because it feels good. Sorta like eating half a dozen glazed donuts. Or one of those 2000 plus calorie concrete ice cream shakes from Sonic.
Because it seems like we're convincing ourselves that we're protecting ourselves. Operative word is, "seems." Looks are sometimes deceiving.
What has this got to do with figuring out what we have to give? Everything.
Let's look at this from your perspective. You're no different than the rest of us. You want to be special. You want to feel like you're valuable. To somebody. In some way.
That can fuel narcissism, an unhealthy focus thinking you're all that and more --- where you're diluted thinking you're somehow more special than everybody else. So you live your life intent on showing us the movie that is your life feigning interest in others only so you can get more attention for yourself. It's all about you when you're narcissistic. Let's not likely you because you're not paying me, or anybody else much attention if you're really that self-centered. Unless you think there's something we can do to shine a brighter light on you. And my little light runs on two AA batteries so I'm no help at all. ;)
You're special. But you're no more special than me, or anybody else. Do you really think we all have value? That we all have the potential to bring value to the world, in some way? Come on, be honest! That's the problem with unfair, harsh judgment and prejudice. This has nothing to do with the actual value provided because clearly there are people who don't provide value. That doesn't mean it's impossible for them. It just means, for some reason, they choose not to deliver. They decided not to give. Maybe they decided they'd just focus on taking. Too busy doing that to give anything of value to others.