049: 3 Ways to Be a Feminine Feminist
1 hr 9 min

The word “feminist” often gets a bad name, yet many women feel torn between wanting to succeed in the workplace while still appearing feminine and soft. Can you have both, or will “feminist” always sound angry and harsh? On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast we’re talking about 3 ways to be a feminine feminist.

When her husband had an emotional affair with a woman from work, my guest Rae thought her marriage was over. She insisted he end things, which he did, and wanted him to admit his wrongdoing. He wouldn’t, and soon he started texting with a different woman. Rae gave him an ultimatum and began a transformation that eventually brought her to the happy marriage she’d dreamed of. She’s going to walk us through exactly what happened.

The Worst Relationship Advice of the Week turns sexy time into a chore.

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman
Recovery, Healing & the Holidays—Part One: Preparing for and Managing Triggers
The holidays are a time for MAJOR EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS—good and bad. In fact the Holidays are intended and designed to elicit intense emotions. These can be ignited by our internal or external environments. In this episode (part one of a 3-part holiday series) Mark and Steve get real about HOW to deal with holiday triggers in a healthy way— -  Normalize your holiday triggers—they're going to happen! -  Practice simply "being" with your emotions as opposed to "doing" something about them.  -  Learn to break them down by playing the "what & why game." -  Once identified, turn to effective tools to manage your triggers. -  Connect with healthy people who truly care about you. -  Own your emotions and allow others to own theirs. -  You may need to let go of some traditions and adopt others that are more healthy. -  Have an "escape plan" for emotional emergencies. Find out more about Steve Moore at:  *Ascension Counseling* Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  *Reclaim Counseling Services** *Here's an article about healing Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video Want to learn more about HOW to break free from porn?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction* *Wondering if your marriage can survive porn and sex addiction? This article will give you some hope—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/can-marriage-survive-porn How can you "heal" your marriage relationship?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/how-to-mend-your-marriage
30 min
Sex Chat for Christian Wives
Sex Chat for Christian Wives
Bonny Burns, Gaye Christmus, J Parker, and Chris Taylor
35 Gifts for Your Marriage
Bonny, Chris, Gaye, and J have a list of gifts that can help you learn, love, and laugh in your marriage! Sponsor Click to visit the website and shop! Also sponsored by Share the Soap. Learn more about their romance set! From the Bible What does God have to say about gift-giving? A gift opens the way and ushers the giver into the presence of the great. - Proverbs 18:16 On coming to the house, they saw the child with his mother Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. - Matthew 2:1 Gift List All links below are affiliate links that earn us a commission when you use them to do your shopping. LEARN * Pillow Talk (J. Parker) * Intimacy Ignited (Pintus & Dillow) * Tabletopics Couples: Questions to Start Great Conversations * Sex Chat for Christian Wives webinar bundle * Knowing Her Sexually Webinar bundle (for husbands) * The Gift of Sex (Penner) * Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women (Penner) * Rethinking Sexuality; God's Design and Why It Matters (Slattery) * Online Marriage Retreat (Coupon Code for 10% off; enter PARKER10, apply, then check out) * Online Affair Recovery Course: Journey to Restoration (Use Coupon Code SW5 for $5 off and to track sales for Bonny :) ). * Sex Position Cards LOVE * Sliquid Naturals – Soul Coconut Oil Intimate Moisturizer * Liberator Wedge Pillow * Nadine Black Lace Babydoll from Honoring Intimates * Married Dance vibrator pilot program * Married Dance penis ring pilot program * Doc Johnson Good Head Deep Throat Spray * HandiPop Edible Hand Job Massage Gel * Liberator Throw * Partner Multifun Vibrator * Stocking Stuffers: Tingly Lip Balm & "Gum Job" Oral Candy Teeth Covers * Whisper Sensual Essential Oil Blend * Cozy Cotton Weighted Blanket LAUGH * Aqua Love Notes Waterproof Notepad (last year) * Play Pens Dark & Milk Chocolate Body Pens 2 Pack * Cookie Sutra with “stallion style” cookie cutter * Sock Monkey Kama Sutra * Dick Van Dyke series * Picnic Backpack for 2 * Ancestry DNA test * How I Survived game * Black Light * Glow-in-the-dark Body Paint * Cinnamon & Ylang Ylang Foam Bath Check out our 2019 list in Episode 72: The Ultimate Sexy Gift Guide. Just for Our Listeners It's Christmas Eve, and Grace still hasn't seen a present under the Christmas tree from her husband. When Todd announces there is no present coming, she feels snubbed, not realizing that he's got a different surprise planned. But is his gift what she really wants? Or even what she needs? Inspirational Short Story, 4000 words. FREE through January 1, 2021, with coupon code WIVES And Don't Forget Our Resources * Christmas Coupons for Him - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Christmas Gift Coupons for Her - Hot, Holy & Humorous * Behind Closed Doors: Five Marriage Stories by J. Parker * Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker * Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design by J. Parker * Beatitudes in the Bedroom: Embracing the Blessings for Your Marriage Bed by J. Parker * Breathe. Relax. Enjoy. How to Use Essential Oils to Increase Your Sensual Energy by Gaye Christmus * Calm. Healthy. Happy. - 17 Simple Ways to Slow Down, Feel Great, and Create Your Best Life as a Woman, Wife, and Mom by Gaye Christmus * Fit. Strong. Healthy. The Busy Woman's 30-Minute Guide to Making Time for Exercise by Gaye Christmus * Quick. Healthy. Delicious. Simple Meal Solutions for Busy Moms and Hungry Families by Gaye Christmus * Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon Burns * Virgin Bride Guidebook: Wedding Night Answers by Bonny Logsdon Burns * Honeycomb & Spice Community, hosted by Chris Taylor * Intimacy Mentoring, from Chris Taylor * KHS (Knowing Her Sexually) Community for husbands, hosted by Chris Taylor and J. Parker * Higher Desire Wives Community, hosted by J. Parker Visit our website: forchristianwives.com
21 min
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?
There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrating and lead to conflict in the marriage. We’ve talked about the abusive kind of control before, so if you want to learn more about that kind of control feel free to go back to our previous episodes of the podcast to learn more about what that looks like.  Today, we’re talking about the annoying kind of controlling. This is not so much about the spouse’s power and dominance as the controlling spouse’s worry, fear, anxiety, and maybe even mental health issues that are driving this behavior. And sometimes the non-controlling spouse may also be acting in ways that prompt this behavior. If you’re listening to this to try to figure out your spouse, you may ask yourself what your role might be and how might you help your spouse feel less of a need to be in control. Where Control Issues Come From 1. Fear Control issues are often rooted in fear. This is the first place to look. If you’re afraid and you want to make it safer, you’re going to want to control the variables. This is quite a common response to fear. Fear can come from a number of different places. One place fear can come from is trauma. When something very frightening or overwhelming happens, it may cause a person to install certain requirements or demands in order to preserve safety. For example, you’ve been in a late night car accident, and you now want to control all of the family travel so that there’s no late-night travel going on and no one is allowed to go out after dark. So now you’ve become “controlling.” You’ve installed requirements or demands on others in order to preserve your sense of safety and well-being, to stop the horror from repeating itself. Another source of control is abandonment (fear of being left alone). If you were left alone at some point as a child or at a point in your marriage, that may result in the kind of controlling behavior where you don’t let your spouse do things on their own or do certain things on their own. You always have to be there, or you always have to do things together. 2. Betrayal Betrayal may also lead to controlling relationships with certain kinds of people in order to prevent re-betrayal. For example, if in your first marriage you were sexually betrayed by your spouse, in your second marriage you may marry a faithful person, but you exert control on them to make sure that that previous betrayal doesn’t re-occur, much to the frustration of your current spouse. That can get difficult because it can cause such distress in your marriage that there’s an emotional separation, or drifting apart that occurs between you. Thus, controlling behavior can lead to further dysfunction.  In another scenario, if you’re a late teenager and you saw your father gamble away your family’s savings and eventually lose the home, job, etc., that’s a major financial betrayal. And later in life when you are a mom you may think you’re a super budgeter, but there’s actually a ton of control over where every penny goes. So, in this situation if the husband buys a chocolate bar and the wife gets upset and he may get frustrated and say “can I not even buy a chocolate bar without asking your permission?” This is clearly a higher level of control than just a healthy budgeting habit. 3. Mental Health Issues Now that we’ve talked about a few fear-related causes of control, we’re going to move on to look at mental health. Some mental health issues can cause controlling behavior. Take personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Someone with BPD may say if you leave, I’ll hurt myself, or I might not be ok somehow (there’s a clinging aspect of BPD that does relate to fear of abandonment, but it is also a mental health condition and the fear piece is a part of...
23 min
It Starts With Attraction
It Starts With Attraction
Kimberly Beam Holmes
PIES Success Story with Kelly Flint
How do you actually take the concept of working on your PIES into stride and start doing it? Today, I am interviewing Kelly, a member of one of my PIES University classes. Kelly has had a year and a half journey of working on her PIES. In this episode, Kelly shares with us what finding out about PIES meant to her, how she started working on her pies, and the difference it has made in her life to actually implement the PIES principles. Listen to hear what "working on your PIES" looked like for Kelly, how she has done it, and the amazing changes she has seen in herself and the changes others have seen in her. *Today’s Speaker - Kelly Flint* I am 48 years old from upstate New York (Western upstate actually to be more specific). I am a wife, a mom, an aunt, and the oldest of two brothers and a sister. I have raised two children that my husband and I adopted in 2005 they are now 19 and 21. I have been married for 28 years. I also love dogs they are my or have been my identity for many years. I raised for guiding eyes for the blind out of Yorktown heights New York for guide dogs and other service dogs they partner with. I currently have 5 working Labradors as either guide or other service. I have worked as a teaching assistant for 24 years at a local career and technical school. My focus has been working with 10th through 12th graders to learn a skill in order to enroll into the career and technical program. My current position is working more closely with academics teachers within our alternative education high school program on the campus.  Some things about me: *  I am a Christian * Enjoy camping * Enjoy watching movies * Motorcycle rider (yes I own my own bike) * Belong to a Christian Motorcyclist Association Chapter Solid Rock Riders (secretary and Run for the Son NYS Lead) * Love being with my family * Have been involved with many committees throughout the years as Secretary or Chairperson * Earrings are my downfall * Got my first tattoo at age 46 * Have 2 yellow labradors that brighten my days, Eliza Mae and Parker Jon *You’ll Learn* * How to start working on your PIES * How to make changes within yourself * That it is okay to take the time to work on you * How to be there for others *It Starts With Attraction Ep. 034: **PIES Success Story  **with Kelly Flint*
29 min
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW
Dating Starts with Warmth, Safety, and Fun with Ken Page
Ken Page, LCSW, is a renowned psychotherapist, popular Psychology Today blogger, and author of the bestseller Deeper Dating: How to Drop the Games of Seduction and Discover the Power of Intimacy. Ken was desperately looking for love but found himself chronically single as the years went by. What was he doing wrong? Through his own exploration and diving into the research, Ken shares how we can build intimacy and find a loving and healthy relationship on this week’s episode. TAKEAWAYS: [3:05] How can single people in recovery safely find their life partner? [3:45] Ken understands. He was an awful dater for the longest time. [4:50] Ken really wanted to find someone, but he was always single for one reason or another. [6:35] Although Ken is gay, the lessons he teaches applies to anyone, no matter their sexual orientation. [7:55] One day, Ken found himself being called to be a dad. Things changed for him. 9 months later he adopted a child and it led to Ken finding his husband, too. [9:40] How do you date so that you find a good match for you? This is rarely talked about. [9:55] Ken walks you through an intimacy map. [12:45] How can you put your best foot forward while still remaining authentic? [14:00] How do you bring your most intimate self on a date? Ken shares an example. [14:45] Keep a journey for two days and note the things that hurt you and note the things that fill your heart. [18:00] Sometimes, we would rather die than reveal our true self. [19:20] Does my soul feel safe with this person? [20:40] Are you pushing love away while you are also looking for love? [23:40] Can you find true love on Tinder/Grindr? [27:55] Your deepest gifts are underneath your defense mechanisms. RESOURCES: The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Connect with Ken: Deeperdatingpodcast.com & https://deeperdating.com QUOTES: * “You’ve been talking about looking for love for a really long time, but you’re always single. I don’t think you really mean it.” * “As you move closer to the center of the target, that’s you becoming more authentic and the further in you get, the closer you are to the beating heart of humanity.” * “It’s an internal journey first to embrace your gifts. When you do that, our dating life changes.” * “We all have a true self and we create a false self around that to protect ourselves.”
37 min
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