The Mental Health Today Show
John Cordray
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The Mental Health Today Show encourages and inspires people to work on their mental health. John Cordray is a board-certified counselor and the host of the Mental Health Today Show, and one of the leading voices of emotionally healthy living. John talks about anxiety, anger, marriage, lifestyle, depression, and more. Listen as John talks about how to keep calm from the stress of life. Contact: www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com
Available episodes
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Oldest first
Aug 16, 2021
Olympic Superstar Simone Biles Mental Health Message to the World
Mental health breaks are very important when you need to focus on yourself. You have probably heard that Olympic star Simone Biles dropped out of the vault and uneven bars during the 2021 Olympics for mental health reasons. And she did so without knowing what the world would think.
Knowing when to take a mental health break can be a very important part of your mental health, but many people feel like they can't take a break.
In this episode, I talk about why you should take a mental health break and the importance of being proactive during your break.
Thanks for listening and be sure to visit www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com
I appreciate you,
John Cordray (board-certified counselor and host of the Mental Health Today Show) www.johncordray.com
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Aug 9, 2021
Back To School Anxiety
Going back to school creates a lot of anxiety for students. From PreK to college, hundreds of students are experiencing back to school anxiety. In this episode, I talk about what you can do to help ease back to school anxiety and how parents can help their children, and college students can help themselves.
Be sure to visit mentalhealthtodayshow.com to listen to past episodes and to sign up for updates of the show.
Thanks for listening and keep working on your mental health,
John Cordray (board-certified counselor) johncordray.com
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Aug 2, 2021
Developing Strength and Resilience from Childhood Sexual Abuse with Dr. Christian Heim
Dr. Heim Ph.D. is an award-winning Psychiatrist, Music Professor, and Churchill fellow. During his 20 years as a doctor and 13 as a psychiatrist he has heard the stories of 1000s of people, so he listens a lot. He gets lots of joy out of working as a consultant psychiatrist in psychotherapy.
He specializes in adult trauma. He speaks from a place of deep compassion and authority on Mental Health issues that are affecting us all in this new normal: anxiety, depression, addictions, trauma, suicide, personality issues, and relationship breakdown.
His latest book "The 7 Types of Love: Navigating love in a fractured world" has just been released. He lives in Australia on the beautiful Sunshine Coast with his wife Caroline and loves taking long walks on deserted Australian beaches and eating celery.
*Dr. Heim's Social Channels:*
Website: https://www.drchristianheim.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-christian-heim-572777203/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtd-b5NpPAiPDzsNj41G78g
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchristianheim_/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drchristianheim
Book: The 7 Love Types: https://www.drchristianheim.com/7-love-types
*Questions:*
How did you get involved with adult trauma?
How common is child sexual abuse?
Who is typically the abuser?
How often is sexual abuse reported?
What can happen to the adult who has been sexually abused as a child?
Can someone recover from sexual abuse?
Is there hope?
Thanks for listening to the Mental Health Today Show. Visit www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com to subscribe to the show, leave a review, and sign up for the newsletter.
Thank you,
John Cordray, www.johncordray.com
Please leave a rating and review of the show!
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Jul 26, 2021
Your Mental Health Does Not Define Who You Are
If you have ever thought you were bad for struggling with a mental health issue this episode is for you. I talk about four action steps that you can take right now to help you realize that your mental health does not define who you are.
LET YOUR MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLE BE YOUR TEACHER, NOT YOUR MASTER
LEAN ON OTHERS IN YOUR TIME OF NEED
MAKE A PLAN
STAY THE COURSE
Write these action steps down and remember them the next time you start to give in to the temptation of believing you are less of a person because you struggle with a mental health issue.
Be sure to visit www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com to listen to more episodes and to subscribe to the show.
Take care my friends,
John Cordray www.johncordray.com
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Jul 19, 2021
A Broken Marriage and God's Redeeming Story with Plumb
Is your marriage going through a difficult stage right now? Are you feeling hopeless and alone as you struggle with your mental health? In this episode, I talk with Tiffany Lee, (AKA Plumb). Plumb gets very personal and talks about her hurt and pain, and God’s redeeming story.
Plumb is a Christan artist and she graciously took time to talk with me before her next tour. Plum has sold more than 500,000 albums and singles worldwide, co-authored songs with Michelle Branch, Mandisa, Mandy Moore, Jaci Velasquez, Natalie Grant, and many more. Plumb’s music has been on numerous TV and Films.
Bellow are Plumb’s links to her book and song that I mention in this episode.
Book Need You Now
https://www.amazon.com/Need-You-Now-Story-Hope/dp/0990617203
Need You Now Song
https://youtu.be/Y9CjYvQDDIo
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/plumbmusic
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Visit www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com
Thanks for listening,
John Cordray www.johncordray.com
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Jul 12, 2021
The Seven Most Common Anxiety Disorders
Do you have some anxiety, but you've wondered if you have an anxiety disorder? In this episode, I talk about the seven most common anxiety disorders.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5) categorizes anxiety disorders into 7 types:
Separation anxiety disorder
Selective mutism
Specific phobia
Social phobia
Panic disorder
Agoraphobia
Generalized anxiety disorder
Be sure to visit www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com
and sign up for the newsletter and to listen to past episodes.
Please subscribe, and leave a review and rating of the show too!
Keep working on your mental health,
John Cordray, board-certified counselor and host of the Mental Health Today Show.
www.johncordray.com
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Jul 5, 2021
Understanding the Negative Thought Cycle
It's important to understand the negative thought cycle so you can be in control of your anxiety, instead of the other way around. Have you had anxious thoughts that don't seem to go away easily? The negative thoughts that kept going around and around turned into obsessive thoughts? Anxiety can take control of the mind and then it takes control of life.
The parts of the negative thought cycle:
Event
Thoughts
Feelings
Behavior
Outcome
I also provide tips that you can do to help gain better control of your negative thought cycle.
Be sure to visit www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com to sign up for the newsletter, listen to past episodes, and subscribe to the show.
Thanks for listening,
John Cordray, board-certified counselor and host of the Mental Health Today Show. www.johncordray.com
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Jun 28, 2021
Family Conflict and Stress
How is conflict handled in your family? We're not taught how to handle conflict, and oftentimes, conflict is not dealt with at all in families. In this episode, I talk about what you can do to help rebuild conflict in your family.
Please rate and subscribe to the Mental Health Today Show at www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com.
Thanks for listening!
John Cordray, board-certified counselor and host of the Mental Health Today Show. johncordray.com
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Jun 21, 2021
Five Signs of Emotional Pain
Have you ever experienced emotional pain? Pain that's so intense that you don't know what to do. Pain from a loss or a life-altering event can cause emotional pain and suffering. In this episode, I talk about the five signs of emotional pain.
Five Signs of Emotional Pain
Behavior Change
Agitated
Withdrawal
Poor Hygiene
Hopelessness
I hope this episode is helpful for you!
Check out the website www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com and sign up for the newsletter and updates about the show.
I appreciate you always,
John Cordray www.johncordray.com
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Jun 14, 2021
The Effects of Anxiety on Your Body
Have you experienced more anxiety and stress this past year? Did you know that prolonged anxiety can have negative effects on your body? In this episode, I talk about the effects of anxiety on your body and what you can do to feel better.
Anxiety can affect your central nervous system, your cardiovascular system, your digestive system, your respiratory system, and even your immune system.
Learn the effects of anxiety on your body and what you can do to start feeling better.
Subscribe to the Mental Health Today show at mentalhealthtodayshow.com
Please rate and review the show!
Thank you,
John Cordray johncordray.com
John Cordray is a board-certified counselor and the host of the Mental Health Today Show.
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Jun 7, 2021
Adverse Childhood Experiences in our Schools
I worked in a school district as a mental health therapist for the last three years, and have learned a lot about the struggles schools face every single day.
In this episode, I talk about a hidden problem in our school system that many people don't realize. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) affect every school in America, yet so many schools are not equipped to help the kids who need help the most.
Read more about the ACEs study here.
Many times, students who get into trouble at school are often students who have an ACEs score. Students with an ACEs score of 3 or more are not likely to succeed in school.
Please subscribe to the Mental Health Today Show and provide a rating and a review.
Visit mentalhealthtodayshow.com and johncordray.com
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May 24, 2021
Forgiveness and Your Mental Health
Do you know someone who has a hard time forgiving others? Maybe it's you that is having a difficult time forgiving.
In this episode, I talk about forgiveness and your mental health, and why it's so important to forgive others.
Forgiveness does not mean you will forget the offense. It does not mean that you're letting the other person off the hook. And it does not mean you are somehow weak or giving into forgiveness.
Forgiveness means choosing to let go of the bitterness and grudge and allowing peace and restoration to help you grow stronger in your mental health.
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Please subscribe to the Mental Health Today Show and visit mentlhealthtodayshow.com to learn more.
I appreciate you,
John Cordray johncordray.com
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May 17, 2021
Consequences of Unresolved Grief
Have you ever noticed someone who looks sad all the time? You can see it on their face, you can see it in how they respond to others, and you can just tell when a person has been living in grief for a long time.
Prolonged grief can have negative effects in every area of your life.
That’s what I’m going to talk about in this episode of the Mental Health Today Show, Consequences of Unresolved Grief.
The Mental Health Today Show is all about encouraging and inspiring you to work on your mental health. If you desire to work on your mental health you are a champion, and I’m glad you are a part of this community.
Working on your mental health is hard work, and you have to work at it every single day - so you are a champion of your mental health. That’s why I like to call you champions.
Today I’m talking about a very difficult topic, but one that needs to be talked about - the Consequences of Unresolved Grief.
Grief comes from all sorts of places, the death of a loved one, an…
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May 10, 2021
Managing Workplace Stress
Stress in the workplace is at an all-time high, thanks to COVID-19. From budget cuts to adjusting to being remote, to going back to the office after being remote, more and more people are stressed out, and it affects their mental health.
In episode 93 of the Mental Health Today Show, I talk about Managing Workplace Stress.
Managing deadlines, dealing with a difficult boss, juggling between working from home and helping your kids who are also remote, job layoffs, and worrying how to pay this month's rent or mortgage takes a toll on your mental health.
Stress affects sleep, mood, energy levels, and relationships, and can be harmful to your body.
A tiny place in our brains called the Amygdala activates our limbic system and creates a stress hormone called cortisol. But, when the cortisol levels are too high for too long, our body will feel the negative effects of stress.
Negative effects of stress = rapid heart rate, blood pressure increase, blood sugar rises, muscles tense up, pupil…
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May 3, 2021
What Causes Anxiety Nausea?
Millions of people experience anxiety nausea and it often becomes so bad that they can't go to work or school. In episode 92, I talk about what causes anxiety nausea and what you can do about it.
Have you ever felt sick to your stomach while you have anxiety? It's one of the worse feelings in the world.
Have you ever wondered if it was nausea that caused the anxiety, or the anxiety that caused nausea?
Many times anxiety is an emotional reaction to fear, and it can be triggered by a person's perception (thinking something bad is going to happen), or it can be triggered by an actual event, such as getting into a car wreck, or abuse.
When your mind is in overdrive with fear and anxious thoughts it releases an excess amount of the stress hormone called Cortisol and causes neurotransmitters to be released.
Neurotransmitters are natural chemical substances that our brain produces at the end of nerve fibers to many areas of our bodies to keep us healthy.
When a neurotransmitter is relea…
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Apr 26, 2021
Five Mental Disorder Early Warning Signs to Watch Out For
26% of Americans 18 or older have a mental disorder diagnosis, that's 1 in 4 adults that suffer from a diagnosable mental health disorder in a given year. That's a lot of people!
A diagnosable mental disorder is a mental illness that has been diagnosed by a doctor or a licensed therapist.
Example diagnosable mental disorders:
* Generalized Anxiety Disorder
* Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
* Borderline Personality Disorder
* Major Depressive Disorder
* Bipolar Disorder
* Phobias
Many people who have a mental disorder also have co-existing disorders, such as anxiety and depression. And this can lead to a downward spiral of despair and loneliness.
Here are the 5 Mental Disorder Early Warning Signs to Watch Out For:
* Isolation and withdrawal for others for a long period of time.
* An increase in the use of drugs and/or alochol.
* Frequent running away and staying away for long periods of time.
* Feelings of hopelessness for many days in a row.
* Letting fear kee…
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Apr 19, 2021
Signs of Functional Depression
If you're like millions of people over the last year during the COVID19 Pandemic, you have experienced signs of functional depression. You may have noticed an overall attitude of negativity, or maybe you want to not be as involved in activities as much as you used to.
In episode 90: Signs of Functional Depression, I talk about what the signs to look for, and what you can do to start feeling better today.
Thanks for listening to the Mental Health Today Show.
John Cordray, Board Certified Counselor
Transcript:
Have you noticed a decrease in your attitude, maybe you're more negative, maybe you're feeling a little bit more numb to the world since the pandemic started over a year ago? And you just noticed that something is not quite right with how you're feeling. That's what we're going to talk about in episode 90: Signs of Functional Depression.
And welcome back to the mental health show today. My name is John Cordray, I am a board-certified counselor. And I am so glad that you're he…
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Apr 12, 2021
Three Common Mental Health Issues Among Young Adults
Three Common Mental Health Issues Among Young Adults
If you are a young adult between the ages 18 to 25 you have likely experienced anxiety, stress, or depression. Maybe you are going through this now.
In this episode, I talk about the single most important thing you need to do if you struggle with a mental health issue.
You are not alone, 1 in 4 young adults struggle with anxiety, stress, or depression at some time in their life before they turn 30.
Don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
Thanks for listening,
John
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Apr 5, 2021
Anxiety and Sleepless Nights
Does anxiety keep you up at night? Do you toss and turn, because you can't stop worrying about things you can't control?
In episode 88, I talk about anxiety and sleepless nights, as well as answer viewer questions from YouTube Live.
You can work on getting a better night's sleep, and you can start tonight!
Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel here.
Thanks for listening to the Mental Health Today Show, John Cordray.
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Mar 28, 2021
Feeling Like A Failure
Have you ever said something so stupid that it made you feel like a failure?
Have you ever messed up and were so embarrassed that you felt like something was wrong with you?
In this episode, I talk about where feeling like a failure often comes from and what you can do to work on it.
I also talk about the difference between a feeling and a belief and which one is normal, and which one can lead to a problem.
Thanks for listening to the Mental Health Today Show!
John Cordray, Board Certified Counselor
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Mar 12, 2018
School Safety and Mental Health
School Safety and Mental Health, Episode 86
It doesn't matter when you listen to this episode, it will always be relevant. School Safety is in the hearts and minds of most people all over the world.
It seems like every day there is a new story talking about a school shooting, teen suicide, or some other tragic crisis among our young people.
In this episode, John talks about the importance of prevention and mental health for our young people, and what we all can do to help.
John also talks about why he's been gone from his podcast for a while, and what he is doing now.
If you are school staff, administration, parent, or student you need to listen to this episode!
You can reach John on his website johncordray.com and on Twitter @JohnPCordray.
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May 8, 2017
Signs of Depression
Signs of Depression
If you think you may have depression or if you think someone you know has depression this episode is for you.
Depression is an often misunderstood emotion and many simply try to deny it. But, depression should never be ignored.
In this episode, John talks about the difference between feeling, 'down-in-the-dumps and full-blown depression.
John talks about the current situation with the flooding in his home town to address this important topic.
A few signs of depression that John talks about:
* Withdraw
* Sudden personality change
* Lack on interest
* Change in appetite and sleep patterns
Learn what the biggest thing to do if you are depressed or if you want to help someone who is in this episode.
Support the Show
You can support the show by visiting www.thementalhealthtodayshow.com or www.patreon.com/johnpcordray
Follow The Mental Health Today Show on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thementalhealthtodayshow
As always, thanks for listening!
John
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Apr 24, 2017
Ep. 084, Does Faith Play a Role in Mental Health?
Does Faith Play a Role in Mental Health?
This is a great question from listener who asked me about my opinion about faith and mental health.
I am a Christian, in fact, I spent 25 years in youth ministry helping teens navigate the up's and down's of life and helping them live their live's for Christ. So, when I was asked this question I was eager to talk about it on my show.
As a therapist I offer Christian counseling, but only to those who desire it. I realize that many of my clients are not Christians, just like I know many of my listeners are not Christians, and I want to make sure they (and possibly you), understand that I do not judge you for believing something different than me.
I have talked with many Christians who struggle deeply with their mental health and therefore, struggle deeply with their faith that God still loves them.
In this episode I address some of the concerns within the church that I have heard from people who struggle with mental health issues.
* Feelin…
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Apr 17, 2017
Ep. 083, Where Panic Attacks Come From and How to Stop Them
Where Panic Attacks Come From and How to Stop Them
If you have ever had a panic attack you know how scary it can be. In this episode, John talks about where panic attacks come from and what you can do right now, to stop them.
People often misidentify a panic attack for a heat attack. Although the two can have similar symptoms, they are much different.
Note: If you believe you are having a heart attack don't ignore it and get help immediately.
Common symptoms of a panic attack:
* Heart races
* Hot flashes
* Sweaty palms and forehead
* Irrational thoughts
* Dizziness
John provides helpful tips about what you can do right now to be proactive before your next panic attack. Panic attacks can come out of nowhere and it's best to know what to do when it hits.
Thanks for listening!
Please consider supporting the show. Help John help others by supporting this show at www.patreon.com/johnpcordray
Other resources:
Follow John on Twitter
Visit www.thementalhealthtodayshow.com…
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Apr 13, 2017
Ep. 082, Don't Feed the Bully! How to Deal with External and Internal Bullies.
Don't Feed the Bully! How to Deal with External and Internal Bullies
Can you think of a bully you have had in your life? Maybe you're experiencing a bully right now.
In this episode:
* John tells a story of almost getting beat up in high school by the meanest, toughest bully in his school and what surprised him.
* What to do with the internal bully.
* How to stand up to your bullies.
* Why standing up to a bully can be the hardest and best thing you can do for yourself.
Every time you give into a bully and believe their harmful lies you feed the bully. The more you feed the bully, the bigger they get.
You can stand up to your bullies! Learn how to stand up to them the right way and you'll soon discover your inner strength.
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Support the show: Visit www.patreon.com/johnpcordray to help keep the show on the air.
Visit www.thementalhealthtodayshow.com for more information.
Watch this episode at www.facebook.com/thementalhealthtodayshow
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Apr 11, 2017
Special Announcement About the Show!
How You Can Support the Show!
Visit http://www.patreon.com/johnpcordray to support the show.
This was recorded for John's Patreon page.
ABOUT ME
I'm John Cordray, a Licensed Professional Counselor and a National Certified Therapist and I own a private practice in St. Louis, Missouri. I started podcasting and broadcasting video (Live & Edited) in 2015. I'm using Patreon to help find people who believe in the message that I am providing to help people around the world learn to cope with a mental illness. I hope to find individuals to support what I do with my podcast and videos to help me pay for equipment and to help cover other expenses that go into production.
ABOUT THE SHOW
Helping End the Stigma of Mental Illness One Show at a Time.
The Mental Health Today Show started as a podcast helping thousands around the world with mental health topics. The show recently added live video on Facebook Live, where John interviews guests and encourages people who struggle with a mental heal…
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Apr 10, 2017
Ep. 081, Hollywood Actress, Erin Marie Hogan, Opens Up About Her Battle with Anxiety and Depression.
Hollywood Actress, Erin Marie Hogan, Opens Up About Her Battle with Anxiety and Depression
Have you ever wondered how an actor could be in a film, yet struggle with a mental illness? Think Robin Williams, Erin Bell, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and many more.
I think we sometimes assume that movie stars have it made and live a perfect life, but as you will hear from Erin, it's not always as glamorous as it may seem.
Erin talks about when her anxiety and panic attacks began, what triggered her first panic attack, and what she is most known for as an actress.
Erin is best known for her role as Samantha Finley in Paranormal Entity and has starred in Hold Your Breath (Natasha), House of Manson (Linda Kasabian) and she has played on many TV shows including,The Bold and the Beautiful.
IMDb: www.imdb.me/erinmariehogan
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Support the Show!
Please consider supporting the show by visiting my Patreon account. Every little bit helps me produce great shows like this. Visit www…
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Apr 6, 2017
Ep. 080, Is Anxiety Really a Thing
Is Anxiety Really a Thing?
I have been asked this question many times and I wanted to address this topic today. This podcast has been also recorded on The Mental Health Today Show Facebook Live.
In this episode John talks about:
* The difference between worry and anxiety
* The importance of speaking up
* Anxiety in kids
* Taking ownership of your anxiety
To watch this episode on Facebook visit The Mental Health Today Show Facebook Page. Be sure to "Like" the page to be notified of updates and other live recordings.
If you're interested in being a "producer" that John talked about in this episode visit John's Patreon page to learn more at www.patreon.com/johnpcordray
Follow John on Twitter
Visit John's website at www.johncordray.com
Thanks for listening!
John
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Apr 3, 2017
Ep. 079, PTSD and Firefighters with Carl Waggett
PTSD and Firefighters with Carl Waggett
Carl has been a full-time firefighter for 15 years and he is currently the acting captain of his firehouse. Carl talks about his denial that PTSD was real, to why it's so important to get the help you need.
Carl recently had a dear friend end his life and now Carl wants to helps others to not feel the despair and hopeless that PTSD often inflicts.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is very common, and does not only affect first responder and military personnel.
Carl talks about the importance to not give in to being alone or to push others away when your struggling.
Carl's two biggest tips are:
1. Don't do this alone.
2. Seek out help from a professional
Carl's podcast (iTunes)
Carl's blog
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Please consider supporting me on Patreon to help cover production cost (as little as $3 /mo)
www.patreon.com/johnpcordray
This interview can also be watched on Facebook @JohnPCordray and on Youtube @JohnPCordray
Tweet John here
John's website: ww…
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Mar 30, 2017
Ep. 078, How to Help an Anxious Person Without Being a Jerk
How to Help an Anxious Person Without Being a Jerk
Most people want to help, and they mean well, but sometimes it comes out wrong. John provides helpful tips for someone who wants to help an anxious person and for the anxious person to speak up and say what would be helpful.
If you are someone who is anxious a lot, you've probably have had someone in your life say things that made you feel dumb. Things like "Try to think more positive" or "Just do it and it will be fine" or better yet, "Just snap out of it".
These comments are not helpful. In fact, they can make things worse. Here are a few tips for both the helper and the anxious person.
For the Helper:
1. Don't offer advice. If you have never had true anxiety before you really don't understand what it's like.
2. Do say that you want to understand. It's okay to ask the person what it's like to live with anxiety and how bad it currently is.
3. Don't always try to offer a solution. Calming anxiety is not a quick fix, so stay away…
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Nov 21, 2016
Ep. 077, You Only Have One Life To Live
You Only Have One Life To Live
How would you act if you knew if you were going to die at the end of the week?
Would knowing that you did not have much time make you have a sense of urgency to change your mindset about your life?
There is so much hate and hurt in our world today that I think we often take our life for granted. We assume that we have plenty of time left on this earth - but we don't really know that.
How about, instead of hating and hurting people, instead of tearing them down and judging the way they look or believe, we treat all people with respect and dignity that they deserve.
We only have one life to live and we should live it to it's fullest. To be helpful to our fellow man, instead of criticizing.
How will you live the only life you have? I choose to live my life by loving others and promoting respect and positivity.
I hope you'll do the same.
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Follow John on Twitter at www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
Learn more about John at www.johncordray.com
Join J…
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Oct 31, 2016
Ep. 076, How Self Awareness is Vital to Emotional Health
How Self Awareness is Vital to Emotional Health
Understanding who you are and what makes you tick is pivotal for developing a healthy emotional life.
John talks about how many people end up on one end of the spectrum of either self doubt or self inflation.
Having self awareness means that you know and understand what your weaknesses are and working towards becoming a better person.
Many people are either living in self doubt and shame and can only focus on their weakness. This allows for low self confidence to take over which often creates anxiety and depression.
Other people tend to focus on their strengths and become arrogant and haughty. This allows for judgement and entitlement to take over which often leads to putting others down in order to build themselves up.
John talks about how to achieve a healthy emotional balance which is good for everyone.
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Follow John on Twitter at www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
Learn more about John at www.johncordray.com
Watch this episode a…
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Oct 24, 2016
Ep. 075, Recovering From Grief and Loss
Recovering From Grief and Loss
Going through a loss of a loved one, or even a beloved pet can be so difficult, and almost unbearable for some.
In this episode, John talks about how everyone grieve's in their own way, but it's important to know when to move forward.
Moving forward from a loss does not mean forgetting. It means you realize moving on means celebrating the life that was loss. You will always have a whole in your heart, but you can, and must, recover and live.
Some people talk about the 5 Stages of Grief, but John realizes that not everyone finds those particular stages helpful.
If you have or are experiencing a loss, please find others who knew the person who has passed and try to share memories and even funny moments. Your loved one would want you to be happy instead of stuck deep into depression.
You WILL be okay!
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Follow John on Twitter at www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
Learn more about John at www.johncordray.com
Watch The Mental Health Today Show here w…
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Oct 20, 2016
Ep. 074, Meditation May Be Just What You Need
Meditation May Be Just What You Need
Life is full of stress, deadlines and overwhelm and you may need to do something about your life before you have a mental breakdown.
Meditation may seem weird or a bit mystical to you, but meditation has been practiced by most religions for centuries.
Meditation does not have to be weird or mystical, but it will likely help you become more self-aware and confident than ever.
You can practice meditation anywhere and at any time and it involves these elements:
* Clearing your mind
* Calming your heart
* Being in the moment (mindfulness)
If you are stressed, have a hard time sleeping, or feel overwhelmed, meditation may be just what you need. Try it, you just may become a calmer person.
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Watch this episode here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9RuqQVgRHo
Follow John on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
Learn more about John http://www.johncordray.com
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Oct 17, 2016
Ep. 073, Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts
Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts
Many people deal with suicidal thoughts every day. Sadly, suicide is the second leading cause of death among our young people. If you are dealing with suicidal thoughts you have options.
There are many different reasons why someone would think about ending their own life, and many of the thoughts involve some form of distorted thinking that somehow everyone would be better off.
But, that's far from the truth. If you are dealing with suicidal thoughts there are people who care about you.
Find a good friend or family member to talk with, or contact a suicide lifeline to talk to someone who cares.
In the US contact the Suicide Prevention Life Line (800-273-8255) or go to their website www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
For my international friends visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention at www.iasp.info
There is always help when you are at your darkest hour. Please don't give up hope, tomorrow is a new day.
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Oct 13, 2016
Ep. 072, Emotional Abuse is a Silent Killer
Emotional Abuse is a Silent Killer
Emotional abuse - is abuse (period)! Emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse, but emotional abuse is not that easy to identify.
Emotional abuse is when someone constantly belittles another person for the purpose of building themselves up.
Emotional abuse is never okay, and should never be dismissed.
If you believe you are in an emotionally abusive relationship get help. Find a therapist to help you establish healthy boundaries and help you establish your next steps to be safe.
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You can watch this episode at https://youtu.be/A4t_kCntgEA
Follow John on Twitter @JohnPCordray www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
Learn more about John at www.johncordray.com
Join John's Facebook group at www.facebook.com/groups/keepcalmacademy
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Oct 10, 2016
Ep. 071, Living with a Narcissist
Living with a Narcissist
Living with a narcissist or working for a narcissist can be very challenging. Many times you're made to feel inferior to them and you feel like a doormat.
A few hallmarks of a narcissist is an elevated and exaggerated sense of self worth. A narcissist believes he or she is "special" and better than the average person.
A lack of empathy and therefore a lack of affection is another trademark of a narcissist. A narcissist can't relate to other people's struggle because if they're not struggling then no one else should either.
Someone who is a narcissist will always want to win and will often go to great length's to prove their ability to win.
Often times, narcissistic people have high ranking positions such as CEO's, pastors, administrators, etc. and their way is the only right way.
If you are living with a narcissist you first need to work on yourself and build your self-confidence and then set firm and strong boundaries that require the narcissist to…
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Oct 4, 2016
Ep. 070, Anxiety That Makes You Feel Nauseous
Anxiety That Makes You Feel Nauseous
Has anxiety ever made you feel sick? You probably skip a meal when you feel nauseous don't you?
In this episode of The Mental Health Today Show, John talks about how anxiety can make you feel sick and what to do about it.
It's not good to skip meals, but when you feel nauseous you don't feel like eating a big meal. What do you do?
John offers some practical tips to help you stay hydrated and healthy, even if you feel anxious and sick. Listen as John give you some ideas about what to do and make a list of your own ideas.
What do you do to stay healthy when you feel anxious and nauseous?
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Watch The Mental Health Today Show here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWsVkHOliqbvJMWXfs5lL0w
Find more about John at www.johncordray.com
Follow John on Twitter at www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
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Oct 3, 2016
Ep. 069, Your Emotional Intelligence is Greater Than Your IQ
Your Emotional Intelligence is Greater Than Your IQ
We spend too much time talking about IQ within our educational system and not enough time talking about emotional intelligence.
Most employers don't ask to see your GPA, but nearly all employers ask for references. Why? Your future employer wants to make sure you'll be a good fit and will do your job. References are for learning about how you get along with people as it is with how well you do your job.
The next time you get down on yourself, don't confuse your emotional struggles with your IQ. Stop calling yourself stupid when you don't understand something right away.
Learn to become self-aware and start working on becoming a better human being who likes people, and spend less time comparing your IQ with others - that's not productive.
***
You can watch this episode at https://youtu.be/UrisQ_niyvE
Follow John on Twitter at www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
Learn more about John at www.johncordray.com
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Sep 30, 2016
Ep. 068, Overcoming Unhealthy Family Patterns
Overcoming Unhealthy Family Patterns
As anyone ever told you, You are just like your mom or You are just like your dad? Or, maybe you have thought those words yourself.
John talks about ways you can overcome unhealthy family patterns that you may have learned as a child growing up.
Some of you respond to this in one of two ways: Shame or Denial.
Feelings of shame, regret, and resentment will destroy your self-confidence and effect your relationships.
Feelings of denial can come across as selfish, self-centeredness and outright refusal to change.
Both ways of handling unhealthy family patterns are, well... unhealthy. If you want to build your self-confidence or become more humble you must be willing to work on your stuff.
John will encourage and admonish you to start working on yourself and to (once and for all) overcome the unhealthy patterns that were passed down from your family!
***
Follow John on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
Find out more about John…
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Sep 28, 2016
Ep. 067, Cynicism is Poison
Cynicism is Poison
Cynicism is poison and it will destroy you and everyone around you. A critical attitude will tear down people who are the closest to you.
A cynical person is a negative person. Someone who always complains about something.
In this episode, John talks about the cure and how you can change from a negative person to a more relaxed, fun and positive person.
Learn how to change the way you look at life and start enjoying life.
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You can watch this episode of The Mental Health Show here https://youtu.be/Wdg7-wM-Zro
Find out more about John on his website www.johncordray.com
Join John's Facebook Group here www.facebook.com/groups/keepcalmacademy
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Sep 19, 2016
Ep. 066, Have You Thought About Clinical Trials?
Have You Thought About Clinical Trials?
If you have a diagnosis (mental illness or a chronic disease) you may want to consider participating in a clinical trial.
Clinical trials help researchers discover new breakthroughs in scientific research and you might be able to help.
Clinical trial sites are often looking for volunteers to help with a particular study such as BiPolar, Alzheimer's Disease, Anxiety, Schizophrenia, Diabetes, etc.
If you are interested in becoming a volunteer for a clinical study look up clinical research sites near where you live.
Many times you will be compensated and travel to the research site is covered as well.
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John Cordray is a National Certified Therapist.
Follow John on Twitter @JohnPCordray and at www.johncordray.com
Music: Eternal Hope by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USU…
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Sep 15, 2016
Ep. 065, I Want To Give Up!
I Give Up!
You've been there, right? You have a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, a bad year. Things don't always go the way we want them to.
The temptation is to give up and give in. To withdraw from life. But, you've got to find the good and positive, even in a bad situation.
You have to work at your emotional endurance and it takes work.
You can also watch this at youtube.com/c/johnpcordray
Find me on Twitter & johncordray.com
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Apr 21, 2016
JCS 064: If You Have Anxiety, Stop Believing This!
If You Have Anxiety, Stop Believing This!
If you have anxiety, the chances are very high that you have believed this. In this episode, John talks about what you need to stop believing and what you need to start doing.
Anxiety is a horrible and debilitating illness and can make you a prisoner in your own mind. Living with anxiety is hard enough as it is, but if you believe this it will make your life much more lonely and miserable.
What Do You Need To Stop Believing?
Stop believing that you are worthless! Do you suffer from anxiety? Yes. Is it so hard to function during the day? Yes. Does your anxiety keep you from really enjoying life? Yes.
But, your anxiety does not have to keep you a prisoner. I want you to try to start countering your negative thoughts about yourself, and start believing the truth - YOU are worthy. YOU are a good person. YOU have value.
When you start believing that you are a failure, unworthy, crazy, or not good enough, then you give in to your anxiety. And w…
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Apr 14, 2016
JCS 063: How to Help Someone with Social Anxiety
How to Help Someone with Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is a big problem around the world. Many people with social anxiety often keep it to themselves and they suffer in silence.
In this episode John talks about how to help someone with social anxiety and things you should never do.
If you are one of the millions who suffer from social anxiety John offers you support and encouragement as well.
There is help and hope for you if you live with social phobia. It's not easy, it can be scary, and often lonely, but social anxiety is treatable. You can get help if you are ready to ask for it.
One of the worst things you can do is allow your social anxiety to win each and every day. This episode is to honor all of you who are affected by social anxiety.
To learn more about Keep Calm Academy and more about John, visit www.johncordray.com
***
Thank you for listening to my show. It would mean a lot to me if you took a few seconds to leave a honest and kind review. This will help me be able…
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Mar 31, 2016
JCS 062: Are Panic Attacks Real?
Are Panic Attacks Real?
Some may say no, others may say maybe. This question has been around for years from people who don't understand anxiety and panic attacks.
People who don't experience anxiety, or at least their unwilling to admit they have anxiety, are likely to assume that panic attacks are simply all in someone's head.
Perhaps people who are overly sensitive and dramatic say their having a panic attack, but it's just overblown worry.
For the person who questions the legitimacy I want to let you know, yes, panic attacks are real.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 2.7% of the U.S. population have panic attacks.
Panic attacks are a real, and they are a real problem for millions of people. Don't take panic attacks lightly and please, don't judge someone who experiences panic attacks.
If you are one of the millions of people who suffer from panic attacks I want to encourage you to tell someone whom you trust. Don't suffer in silence and alone.…
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Mar 17, 2016
JCS 061: Overcoming Entrepreneurial Burnout with Chris Ducker
Overcoming Entrepreneurial Burnout with Chris Ducker
In this episode I talk with Chris Ducker, a serial entrepreneur, author, business owner, keynote speaker, and founder of Youpreneur.
If you are a business owner or an online entrepreneur you know doubt have experienced burnout. If you haven't yet, you will.
Stress is a major cause of physical problems that can not only ruin your business, but it can send you to the hospital. That's exactly what happened with Chris.
Chris goes deep and is not afraid to tell everyone his personal bouts with stress and burnout.
Chris owns a large company in the Philippines with over 400 employees, he is a highly sought after keynote speaker, an author, a podcaster with a very large following, the host of Tropical Think Tank and the founder of Youpreneur mastermind group.
Chris is one busy and successful entrepreneur.
Chris is all about working hard and smart, but he also knows his limits. He learned the hard way.
Now Chris Ducker talks about how…
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Mar 10, 2016
JCS 060: Depression Sucks, You Can't Just Snap Out of It
Depression Sucks, You Can't Just Snap Out of It
Depression affects millions of people all over the world, yet so many live in isolation and shame because of it. Even worse, people in their lives tell them to just snap out of it.
Depression does not work like that. You can't simply wish it away or turn off a switch. Depression is a miserable leech that won't go away easily.
To tell someone to just "snap out of it" makes the depression worse and only makes the person with depression feel like even more of a loser.
This episode is for those who suffer from depression as well as those who don't understand what depression does to someone.
John talks about the number 1 key that we all need to do to make it better for every one.
We all must be in agreement with this if we want to break the stigma of mental illness.
Depression does not make you weak, weird or stupid, but people can.
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This episode is brought to you by Keep Calm Academy. Keep Calm Academy is an 8 week online c…
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Mar 3, 2016
JCS 059: What Panic Attacks Feel Like
What Panic Attacks Feel Like
Am I Having A Heart Attack?
Yes, it’s possible that what you think is a heart attack is actually a very intense and out of control emotion. Often, panic attacks feel like something much more ominous than what it really is.
Panic attacks (also called anxiety attacks) can feel very scary and are often confused with heart attacks. It’s true that the symptoms of a panic attacks can mimic a heart attack, but the two are very different.
One is emotional the other is physical.
I want to be very clear here. If you think you’re having a heart attack please go to the hospital right away. Don’t try to convince yourself that it’s nothing.
It’s something. Don’t ignore it.PANIC ATTACKS FEEL LIKE YOU’RE DYING
It’s far better to go to the hospital thinking you’re having a heart attack (but you’re experiencing a panic attack instead) than the other way around.
Panic attacks can feel very scary and a natural thought is – you’re dying! Many p…
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Feb 18, 2016
JCS 058: The Most Common Mental Illness in the US
The Most Common Mental Illness in the US
In this episode John reveals the most common mental illness in the United States. John thinks that this is the most common mental illness in the world.
What do you think it is?
Here is a list of potential disorders:
1. Depression
2. Stress
3. Anxiety
4. ADHD
One of these mental illnesses attributes to 40 million adults in the US.
These numbers are staggering, but the good news is that this mental illness is highly treatable.
This episode of The John Cordray Show is sponsored by KeepCalmAcademy.com
Keep Calm Academy is an 8 week online course designed to help you learn to keep calm from imbalanced emotions.
To learn more about John Cordray visit www.johncordray.com
or at www.twitter.com/johnpcordray
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Feb 11, 2016
JCS 057: Stop Complaining About Your "Hot Mess" And Do Something About It
Stop Complaining About Your Hot Mess And Do Something About It
This is #RealTalk about your hot mess.
John challenges you to stop complaining about your hot mess and start doing something about it in this episode.
There's a time and place to be down and depressed about your hot mess, but you can't stay there forever.
You are the only one that can get you out of the negative thinking and stuck feeling, and it's about time you did something about it.
John talks about 5 Action Points that you can do to start doing something about your hot mess.
Do Something:
1. Talk to a close friend. Don't lean on them too heavily though.
2. Read a book.
3. Listen to podcasts.
4. Go to a therapist.
5. Join KeepCalmAcademy.com
The point is, there comes a time when enough is enough and you just need to do something. It's time to get off of your butt and start working on yourself.
Contest:
John is offering a contest to purchase Keep Calm Academy for $1.00.
Rules:
1. Use your smart phone to r…
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Feb 4, 2016
JCS 056: Developing The Right Mindset With Anxiety
Developing The Right Mindset With Anxiety
If you live with anxiety you know how hard it can be just to get through the day.
Wouldn't be nice if there was a "switch" that you could turn off your anxiety?
If you struggle with anxiety it's critical to learn and understand how to develop the right mindset on how to think and live with it.
It's possible to bring emotional balance back to your life and learn how to keep calm, but it's hard work and will take a lot of determination and motivation to keep going when you want to give up.
Developing the right mindset with anxiety starts with your belief system.
What do you believe about yourself in the midst of your anxiety?
Do you tend to give into the lies of your inner critic that tells you that you are not good enough, a loser, a failure?
Or can you refuse to believe the lies and choose to focus on the positives in your life instead?
John talks about why it's so important to start developing the right mindset with your anxiety and h…
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Jan 28, 2016
JCS 055: How to Overcome Self-Doubt
How to Overcome Self-Doubt
Self-Doubt is one of the most common emotional barriers people from all walks of life encounter.
It's a given that you'll have some self-doubt, but what you do with that doubt will determine your outcome.
Self-doubt creeps in and robs you of reaching your full potential and therefore achieving your dreams.
Don't allow your self-doubt to keep you from reaching your dreams.
In this episode, John will walk you through what you can start working on and give you the inspiration and motivation you need to keep moving forward, even with self-doubt.
It's far better to fail at trying, than failing to try. If you never try, you will always have regret.
Learn what you can do to work on overcoming your self-doubt.
This episode was brought to you by Keep Calm Academy. Keep Calm Academy is an 8 module course loaded with helpful lessons and resources to help you keep calm right from your mobile device.
To learn more visit www.KeepCalmAcademy.com
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You can…
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Jan 14, 2016
JCS 054: The 4 Rules of Emotional Engagement
The 4 Rules of Emotional Engagement
Okay, so you struggle with an emotional issue. Maybe anxiety, depression, fear, anger, or some other emotional struggle.
What are you going to do about it?
Many people lose hope, give up, and live a defeated life. But, that's not you!
You don't want to live in defeat and give up on life.
You need to work on the 4 Rules of Emotional Engagement:
Rule 1. Don't Be Naive.
Learn and understand your struggle. Know thy enemy and do something about it.
Rule 2. Don't Give Up.
Don't allow your struggle to defeat you.
Rule 3. Don't Give In.
Don't listen to your negative thoughts any longer.
Rule 4. Don't Lose Hope.
Don't think help is not available. You need to look for help and be willing to ask for help.
This episode is sponsored by Keep Calm Academy.
Keep Calm Academy is a membership site designed to help people like you learn to keep calm from emotional struggles. To learn more visit www.keepcalmacademy.com
Check out John's website at www.joh…
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Jan 7, 2016
JCS 053: Stress: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
Stress: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
How much stress do you have in your life? Listen to this episode to know where to start bringing calm back to your life.
Stress is a major reason for many physical problems including heart attacks, burn out and high blood pressure.
A certain amount of stress is good, but most people have an over abundance of stress in their life.
The are four main stressors in our lives:
1. Relationships
2. Finances
3. Situation
4. Health
Do you know where your stress is coming from? If so, what are you doing about it to make a lasting life change?
Listen to what John has to say about stress and what the first thing you should be doing is.
This episode is brought to you by:
KEEP CALM ACADEMY
The only membership site designed to help you keep calm from anxiety, stress, anger, and fear all from your mobile device.
To learn more visit www.keepcalmacademy.com
To visit John's website go to www.johncordray.com
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Dec 22, 2015
JCS 052: Why You Hate Crowds And What To Do About It
Why You Hate Crowds And What To Do About It
When you're in a place with a lot of people and you freak out inside, your heart beats fast, your mind races, than you have social anxiety.
If you hate crowds and if you have social anxiety you're not crazy.
In this episode John talks about why you need to accept the fact you have social anxiety, but not like it. John offers some practical action steps that you can take to face your fear of crowds.
Don't let the invisible anxiety leach suck the life out of you. Find out what you can do to start to face and fight your fear of crowds.
You have more power than you realize, and John wants to help you discover that power so you can gain the confidence you need to be in a crowd without freaking out.
This episode is brought to you by the FREE Keep Calm Survival Kit. The only survival kit to help bring emotional balance back to your life.
The Keep Calm Survival Kit contains 4 video & audio lessons plus printable worksheets that follow each les…
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Dec 17, 2015
JCS 051: If You Want To Get Along With That Difficult Person DON'T Do These 3 Things
If You Want to Get Along With That Difficult Person DON'T Do These 3 Things
Do you have a difficult person in your life? John wants to help you respond to that person in a healthy way.
We all have had a difficult person in our life at one time or another.
The disapproving look or the condescending tone just set's you off.
Here are 3 things not to do with the difficult person in your life:
1. Don't Take It Personal.
2. Don't Fight Back.
3. Don't Be Unprepared.
Listen to this episode as John explains each of the three things not to do and why.
This episode was brought to you by The Anger Management Course: Learn how to control your anger right from your phone. 8 Lessons (video & audio). Access The Anger Management Course and start getting control of you anger today!
The Anger Management Course
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Dec 15, 2015
JCS 050: If You Want To Have Less Holiday Stress You MUST Do These 2 Things
If You Want To Have Less Holiday Stress You MUST Do These 2 Things
Is stress taking over your happiness this holiday season? Find out what 2 things you need to do to have less holiday stress this year.
The Christmas season is supposed to be full of joy and happiness, but sometime too much stress can rob us of that joy.
John talks about 2 specific ways you can stop doing right now to help lessen your holiday stress.
1. Learn to say "no". Stop saying yes all the time. Every time you say "yes" to someone you are really saying "no" to yourself. And if you say "yes" all the time then you will burn out.
It's okay to say "no" at times.
2. Get your head on straight. Stop allowing unproductive and negative thoughts to invade your mind.
Focus on the here and now and stop allowing worry and fear take over.
If you are not looking forward to the holiday season then chances are you are over stressed. Learn to practice the two things above and start making changes in your attitude and life.…
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Dec 10, 2015
JCS 049: All I Want For Christmas Is To Just Feel Happy Again
All I Want For Christmas Is To Just Feel Happy Again
The Christmas season is supposed to be full of happiness and cheer. But, for many it's fully of misery and depression.
The pressure to "keep it together" for the holidays can bring even more depression and shame.
What's making you unhappy this Christmas?
Many people are depressed and sorrowful around Christmas for many different reasons:
* Loss of a loved one
* Loss of a job
* Financial stress
* Broken relationships
* Loneliness
Did your reason for being depressed make the list above? If not, feel free to tell me what I should add.
In this episode I get real personal as I share my story that resonates with this topic.
**Live Coaching Opportunity**
I have recently opened the doors for a live coaching call. I am currently accepting a small group of no more than 15 people.
Hurry, though, this exclusive coaching session will fill up fast.
To learn more and to put your name on the list use this link
johncordray.com/c…
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Dec 8, 2015
JCS 048: John's Live Coaching Sessions
John's Live Group Coaching Sessions
Start living the life that you were intended to live. If you are struggling with some type of emotional hang up or emotional baggage then John's coaching session is for you.
John Cordray is a national certified therapist and a personal development coach and he has helped hundreds of people unlock their true potential.
John wants to help you as well.
Sign up today if you want to be in John's very selective and specialized group. Once you sign up you'll be placed on a waiting list until John's next session opens up.
Sign up to be on John's list here:
John's Live Group Coaching Session
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Dec 3, 2015
JCS 047: If Fear Is Just An Emotion Why Is It So Controlling?
If Fear Is Just An Emotion Why Is It So Controlling?
What do you fear? Is your fear controlling your actions? Listen to John talk about fear and what steps you can take to overcome your fear.
Fear can be very controlling, can't it? Fear can prevent you from doing things like going to work, attending school or flying in an airplane.
Fear can zap the enjoyment and hope right out of your heart.
So, what can you do when fear seems so huge and controlling in your life?
1. Learn to accept the things that you can not control. This simple shift in your thinking can help you readjust to your circumstance.
2. Learn to face your fear. When you can do something about the thing your are afraid of then it's time to take action.
Write this down:
On one list, write down everything that you cannot control.
On a different list, write down everything that you can control.
How are the lists different?
Learn to accept the things that you cannot control and learn what you need to do to take actio…
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Dec 1, 2015
JCS 046: Don't Let Your Anger Turn You Into A Monster
Don't Let Your Anger Turn You Into A Monster
Has anyone ever said you have an anger problem? Do you tend to blame other's for your anger?
If so, please listen to this episode and learn how to not let your anger turn you into a monster.
Three Steps to Control Your Anger:
1. Admit that you have an anger problem. Admit to yourself first, and then to others.
2. Take responsibility for your actions. Don't blame other's for your temper.
3. Do something about it. Good intentions are not enough. your must make a plan to get the help you need and then take action.
Most angry people regret what was said or done out of anger. Most angry people don't like being so angry, but they don't know what to do about it.
Get the help that you need.
You may need to talk with a therapist for a few sessions to learn what you need to do to control your anger.
Working on your anger is not the same thing as having good intentions. Good intentions won't help you keep calm. Good intentions alone will resu…
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Nov 26, 2015
JCS 045: When Thanksgiving Is Not So Happy
When Thanksgiving Is Not So Happy
Do you find it hard to be happy on Thanksgiving? If so, you're not alone.
Many people experience every emotion except happiness around Thanksgiving.
Here are 8 reasons why Thanksgiving is not so happy for many:
1. Divorce
2. Loneliness
3. Family Conflict
4. Death of a loved one
5. Family pain / secrets
6. Break-up
7. Work
8. Anxiety
You may have a different reason why Thanksgiving is not so happy. Whatever reason why your Thanksgiving is not so happy, I want to encourage you with a few tips that I hope will help you.
Tip 1: Make a plan. Write down everything you need or want to do for Thanksgiving. Write down what you're going to say, what you'll do, etc. This will give you a sense of control.
Tip 2: Smile on purpose. Research shows that when you smile the muscles in your face send "happy" signals to your brain.
Tip 3: Laugh out loud. Similar to smiling on purpose, when you laugh out loud it will trigger the happy part of your brain.
Wa…
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Nov 24, 2015
JCS 044: We Really Need To Talk About Your Fear Of What Other People Think!
We Really Need To Talk About Your Fear Of What Other People Think!
Do you struggle with what other's think about you? Listen to this episode and listen to John talk about how you can start to become more confident with who you are.
If you struggle with the opinions of other's than chances are you have that nagging inner critic that constantly tells yourself that you are not worthy.
Negative thoughts and feelings can really begin to ware you down.
Thoughts like:
* You're not good enough...
* You're broken...
* You don't have anything good to contribute...
* You're boring...
* You're insignificant...
* You're a loser...
Often fill your head don't they?
If you allow these negative thoughts to become a belief then your fear of what people think of you will only get worse.
Here is what I want to encourage you to do.
Start believing this one thing about yourself:
YOU ARE WORTHY!
Write this down on a 3x5 card and remind yourself every time your inner critic rears its ug…
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Nov 19, 2015
JCS 043: Fear Is Not Always A Bad Thing: It Can Be Your Friend!
Fear Is Not Always A Bad Thing: It Can Actually Be Your Friend!
If you struggle with fear this statement may seem wrong or at least paradoxical.
There are a lot of things to be fearful of in our world today. All you have to do is turn on the news and you'll hear about killings, attacks, robbery, riots...you name it!
It's no wonder millions of people are plagued with a magnified and distorted view of fear.
How can fear be your friend?
1. Fear can get you out of your comfort zone.
2. Fear can keep you safe.
3. Fear can motivate you to take action.
If you struggle with a distorted or magnified view of fear try to focus on the evidence. What you KNOW to be true, not just what you feel to be true.
The next time you have a distorted view of fear write down your thoughts and feelings about it. Then write down what you know to be true.
Remember, fear in and of itself cannot hurt you. Try to not allow your distorted view of fear tell you otherwise.
Don't allow your magnified view o…
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Nov 17, 2015
JCS 042: Anxiety and The Walking Dead. Wait...What?
Anxiety and The Walking Dead. Wait...What?
You have surely watched the hit TV show The Walking Dead. Okay, I admit it. The Walking Dead is one of my favorite shows. Why?
For several reasons:
1. I have always had an interest in film make up and special effects. The Walking Dead brings that out big time.
2. I have always been a huge fan of zombies. The classic zombie movie, directed my thee George Romero, The Night Of The Living Dead. Classic movie with special effects and a genius use of lighting and shadows. Without CGI.
3. I have always liked shows that depict the human spirit to live and survive.
As I watch The Walking Dead I am struck with the parallel between living with a mental health disorder and Zombies. In particular Living with Anxiety.
How Living With Anxiety Is Like The Walking Dead
To be clear anxiety is the Walkers in my comparison.
* Anxiety is always waiting to eat you.
* Anxiety won't go away on it's own. No matter how fast you try to hide from it, it will n…
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Nov 12, 2015
JCS 041: PTSD - Battling The War Within with Force Recon Marine and Pro-MMA Fighter Chad Robichaux
Battling The War Within with Force Recon Marine and Pro-MMA Fighter Chad RobichauxChad Robichaux and Mighty Oaks Warrior Programs - Chad Robichaux did 8 tours of duty as a Force Recon Marine, he is a Pro-MMA fighter, a pastor, an AACC accredited counselor, a husband and father - who nearly lost everything to PTSD.
Chad found God and was saved and healed. Now he, his family and other Special Forces leaders are sharing this message.
The Mighty Oaks Warrior Program is the only PTSD faith-based program endorsed by the Military. By teaching the principles of Biblical manhood, Mighty Oaks can boast a program that is drug-free, cost-free, faith-based…and, by the Grace of God, there have been no suicides after anyone has gone through the program!
Chad has two books released:
Marriage Advance, Love Never Gives Up. A 26-week workbook for couples that addresses brokenness to restoration in Christ.
Redeployed: How Combat Veterans Can Fight The Battle Within and Win the War at Home. A book co…
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Nov 11, 2015
JCS 040: War, PTSD & Recovery with Anthony Ferro
This is a very special edition of The John Cordray Show to honor the brave men and women who serve our country to give us freedom.
Meet Anthony Ferro, a Marine who is no longer on active duty, who served two tours in Iraq, and who suffers from PTSD.
Listen to Anthony as he talks about his PTSD and what he is doing about it.
War, PTSD & Recovery with Anthony FerroAnthony is a Marine who has served from 2003 to 2007, he served two tours in Iraq in 2005 and 2006.
Anthony almost died several times in war during his tours. Now, Anthony is finishing his college degree in Business Management, then he plans to pursue his master's to become a therapist.
Anthony is currently on disability, but he not letting that keep him down.
Anthony volunteers at a gym to help instruct and teach others and he is a Mixed Martial Arts fighter.
Anthony say's "I am still trying to adjust to the regular world and I try and learn about PTSD as much as I can."
If you suffer from PTSD please seek help from a…
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Nov 10, 2015
JCS 039: How Stress Is Making Your Anxiety Worse
How Stress Is Making Your Anxiety Worse
Stress is the number one factor of many mental illness including anxiety and depression. Most leading experts agree that if we reduce our stress levels, we'll reduce anxiety and depression as well.
The Problem:
We are all stressed, but some are over-stressed. Most of us are more concerned about taking care of others, that we neglect ourselves to the point of exhaustion.
We give and give to others, but neglect ourselves. We can run on empty for so long, and then we'll run out of gas - stranded.
Stress is so dangerous to our health because it's a silent and often a slow process of deteriation of our body from the inside out.
1. Stress can cause a lack of sleep.
2. Stress can cause burn out.
3. Stress can cause marital problems.
4. Stress can cause diseases such as cardiovascular disease, cancer, and other organ damage.
5. Stress can wear down our imune system that can lead to other problems.
Stress can cause and be the root cause of anxiety, f…
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Nov 5, 2015
JCS 038: Hot, Healthy & Happily Ever After with Hilary Silver
Hot, Healthy & Happily Ever After with Hilary Silver
For many marriages, the mundane daily routine creates a stale and passionless marriage. It's anything but hot, healthy and happily ever after!
Hilary is making a difference in the lives of many men and women who want to have the relationship they desire.
If your marriage lacks passion, desire and connection you'll want to listen and hear what Hilary has to say.
Hilary Silver is a Licensed Therapist, Relationship Expert and Creator of Hot, Healthy & Happily Ever After.
In the last 15 years, her counseling and coaching programs have helped thousands of men, women and couples live more authentically, find deep inner joy and contentment and keep their love and passion alive for the long term.
Hilary teaches how to transform our challenges into our greatest strengths, how to achieve genuine connection in relationships and to how to live intentionally to create the life we desire.
Hilary has been featured in The Good Men Project…
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Nov 3, 2015
JCS 037: What In The World Is Trichotillomania and Do You Have It?
"I’m going crazy. I can’t stop. I’m the only one with this problem. I hate myself. I’ll never be normal again. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I’m too embarrassed to go outside. There’s no hope. I can’t let anyone know. What’s wrong with me?"
These repetitive thought patterns plague someone who suffers from this condition. This compulsive behavior transcends age, gender, culture and socioeconomic status.
It can hinder everyday living, lower self-esteem, and create anxiety and stress over a lifetime if not treated. Millions of people are affected by it everyday (about 4% of the world’s population), wow!
Little is known about it, and few mental health professionals have seriously studied the origin or treatment of it.
What is it? It’s a condition known as Trichotillomania or Trich – a compulsive hair pulling behavior.
The technical term is an impulse control disorder where people have a very hard time resisting the urge to pull their hair.What is T…
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Oct 29, 2015
JCS 036: No Longer A Victim! Healing From Sexual Abuse With Paula Mosher Wallace
No Longer A Victim! Healing From Sexual Abuse with Paula Mosher Wallace
Sexual abuse can be so devastating and can be a deep secret for many years. So often people who have been sexually abused are living a life full of shame and self-loathing.
In this episode you'll hear from Paula Wallace, who was sexually abused as a child, and now uses her story to help others who are healing from sexual abuse.
Get to know Paula Mosher Wallace and her ministry and book, Bloom in the Dark.
Born in the jungles of Peru to missionary parents, Paula’s beginning in life was anything but typical.
Raped at the age of 5, Paula was caught in a cycle of damage and abuse which lasted into her thirties.
From sexual abuse to later mental, emotional and even spiritual abuse, Paula developed a victim mentality, which fueled decades of continued abuse.
The trauma she experienced caused her to develop a variety of psychosomatic illnesses which, at times, left her bed-ridden.
Broken beyond endurance and sui…
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Oct 27, 2015
JCS 035: 3 Ways How NOT To Be A Grouch
Today's episode is brought to you by The Anger Management Course. A video course that will give you the resources you need to keep calm - in the comfort of your home.
It's like having an anger coach in your pocket!
Sign up to pre-register for my anger management course at my website - www.johncordray.com
Are you taking my 5 day gratitude challenge? 5 days of intentional gratitude.
When I was a kid I loved Seasome Street. My favorite character was Cookie Monster, Bert and Erinie, Big Bird, okay they were all my favorites.
But, the one character that stood out the most to me, a character that didn't seem to fit in with the rest of the characters of Seasome Street.
He lived in a trash can. You guest it, Oscar the Grouch.
Oscar was a professional complainer. He complained about the weather, he complained about his home, he complained about his friends. Oscar complained about everything.
No wonder he lived in a trash can!
I was thinking today about why people complain. Why do I comp…
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Oct 22, 2015
JCS 034: Why Do You Get So Angry? Take My 5 Day Challenge
I am trying something new here, I am recording my podcast episode while I am scoping a live periscope. So, this podcast episode was recorded in front of a live audience.
I am so glad that you have joined me today. Let me ask you a question. Do you get angry?
If you're a funny person, you may answer my question like my father-in-law would, "Does a bear poop in the woods?"
If you're a shy person you may just answer my question in your head.
If you're an angry person you may get offended by my question and you may say it's none of my business.
Whatever type of person you are I'm sure you get angry to some degree.
Here are 5 Personality Types of Anger:
* The Stuffer: Someone who holds in their anger until their anger can no longer remain stuffed and then it comes out with a vengeance.
* The Exploder: Someone who explodes at the drop of a hat.
* The Silent Assassin: Someone who quietly seeks revenge or to get even.
* The Abuser: Someone who uses their anger to manipulate other…
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Oct 20, 2015
JCS 033: 4 Practical Steps You Can Take To Get Unstuck
Have you ever been driving and then got stuck in the mud or sand? What happens?
You get upset and press on the accelerator harder only to find your tire speeding faster and faster and deeper and deeper into the hole – then finally you’re so far down that you get really stuck.
Then feelings of hopelessness and loneliness set in making your day miserable. Have you been there?
Maybe you have never had your car or truck stuck, but you may feel like your life is stuck and miserable like that.
As a therapist, I have talked to hundreds of people who feel like their life is stuck. The harder they try to do something, the deeper they feel stuck.
What are you dealing with that’s making you feel stuck in life? Some of the people that I have seen have dealt with high anxiety and they feel like they will never be able to be free of their constant feelings of inadequacy.
Some are dealing with depression and they feel like they can’t get past their dreadful thoughts of worthlessness. Ot…
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Oct 15, 2015
JCS 032: Brokenness, Healing & Forgiveness with Nichola Brown
You have heard me say before, we all have a story of hurt and brokenness.
In this episode I am talking with Nichola Brown, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
Nichola shares her story of abuse and pain and how she is using that to help others in their hurt and pain.Nichola Brown is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LICSW) in Washington, DC.
Born in Montego Bay, Jamaica, Nichola has lived in the DC metropolitan area for most of her life. She has been a Mental Health Professional for several years and enjoys working with individuals and families.
Nichola earned her Masters in Social Work from the University of Maryland-Baltimore, where she focused on Clinical Mental Health with a concentration in Employee Assistance Programs (EAP).
She has worked in the private and public sector, where she has developed a passion for helping people find their calling. Nichola believes in embracing the journey of life.
Nichola credits her faith in God and seeking professional help, with overcoming h…
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Oct 13, 2015
JCS 031: 5 Tips On Staying Motivated When You Want To Give Up
Sometime's Nike's slogan 'Just Do It' isn't enough. Slogans and catch phrases are good, but sometimes they're not very motivating. They can sometimes have the opposite effect.
Fear, self-doubt and emotional baggage often de-motivates us. Keeping us from doing things we really need to be doing.
Do you say things to yourself like:
1. What's the use?
2. No one really cares
3. Why start something if it's not perfect
I have thought these too, but you and I need to keep moving forward and not allow our negative thoughts keep us from being and staying motivated.
What is it that you have a hard time staying motivated with?
Is it excericisng?
Is it keeping up with relationships?
Is it writing a book?
Is it starting a business?
What is it that you struggle with staying motivated to complete?
We can probably write a long list of all the reasons why we can't get motivated, but I want to talk about 5 Tips to help keep you going.
5 Tips On Staying Motivated When You Want To Give Up
1. Write…
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Oct 8, 2015
JCS 030: 3 Steps To Overcoming Self-Doubt
Do you have self-doubt? I'm sure you do - we all do at some point in our lives.
Do this describe you?
You have an idea for a business, but you give up before you even try, because you convince yourself that no one will like your idea.
You want to ask your boss for a promotion, but you don't because you just know that he'll laugh in your face.
You have, what you think, is helpful information for your group presentation at school, but you remain quiet because you afraid of looking stupid.
Giving up, not starting or remaining quiet are often the result of self-doubts.
Have you been there? Have you had self-doubt about something in your life?
Sure you have - we all have.
I had self-doubts about starting my podcast show.
I had doubts that I knew what I was doing or how to launch a podcast.
I had doubts that anyone would listen to me.
I had doubts that my podcast would be helpful at all.
Our self-doubts can keep us from so many things:
* Friendships
* Career advancement
* Re…
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Oct 6, 2015
JCS 029: 3 Tips You Can Do Right Now To Help With Pre-Event Anxiety
Do you know what this feels like?
You have an important event coming up (presentation, interview, business meeting, going out to lunch) and it's a week away or a few days away, and that's the only thing you can think about.
You toss and turn and you just can't fall asleep because you're thinking about all of the things that will go wrong.
You think about how the "spotlight" will be on you, you worry about messing up, you worry about making a fool of yourself.
Your heart beats faster and faster the closer the event gets, your palms get a little sweaty, and you feel like running away to get away from it all!
Then, when you are in the moment of the event you realize that it's not as bad as you thought it would be.
After the event you feel relived or even ecstatic that you did it.
Then the anxiety hits again before he next event.
Do this describe you?
You know what it's like don't you? The feeling of intense anxiety before an event that you need to do.…
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Oct 1, 2015
JCS 028: What If It's Not Well With My Soul? Deep Depression and Suicide
Perhaps one of the most recognized church songs, besides the song Amazing Grace, is the song It Is Well With My Soul.
Written by Horatio Spafford, 1873
Here is the first stanza of the song:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Back Story:
Horatio lived with his family of 5 children (1 son and 4 daughters) in Chicago.
Horatio was a successful lawyer and was a close friend to Dwight L. Moody, an evangelist from Chicago.
Horatio was a very successful lawyer and was able to provide for his family well, but tragedy hit his family.
Horatio and his wife, Anna, lost their only son to Scarlet Fever, and shortly afterwards the Great Chicago Fire destroyed much of their possessions.
A few years later Horatio decided to travel to England to hear his good friend D.L. Moody preach.
Although, Horatio's job prevented him from leaving on time he sent his family ahead of h…
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Sep 29, 2015
JCS 027: Nashville, Coffee and 3 Things I Learned at the AACC Conference
Nashville, TN is truly a wonderful place. It's the music capital of the world after all.
But, I learned something deeper, more inspiring than music, something that will change my life forever in Nashville.
This episode is my personal journey or discovery (nothing really new), but something inspiring happened to me at the American Association of Christian Counselor's (AACC) World Conference.
This episode is my account of what I took away from the conference.
The workshop speakers were good, the keynote presenters were inspiring, the worship was amazing, but what really made an impression on me was...
Nashville, Coffee and 3 Things I Learned at the AACC Conference
1. It's good to stay connected. If your company or profession has a conference I want to encourage you to go to feel connected with your trade or career.
2. We need each another. No one should work completely on their own. I am a solo therapist in my private practice, and I can feel all alone at times. It's important to…
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Sep 24, 2015
JCS 026: 5 Reasons Why You Should Talk About Your Disorder
One of the most lonely and isolating things someone can do is to keep their mental health disorder to themselves. The stigma and shame that is often associated with a disorder is often the reason for the silence.Psychologists, doctors and counselors use a mental health disorder manual called the DSM 5 to diagnose and treat patients with mental health disorders.
At the same time, longing to "let it out" can be so intense and so powerful that it provokes even more anxiety and fear.
So, many people who suffer from a mental health disorder keep it to themselves. They can be pretty good at it too. They know how to put on a fake smile, act happy and talk about how good life is, all the while dying inside.
As a therapist I know the importance of why you should talk about your disorder. Talking to someone about your disorder can be very freeing and liberating.
No, I'm not suggesting that you open your
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Sep 22, 2015
JCS 025: Can Your Brokenness Really Be Beautiful?
Can Your Brokenness Really Be Beautiful?
Find out what John thinks in this episode.
As a therapist I often see and hear stories that would break anyone’s heart.
Parent’s weeping over the condition of their child or the state of their family.
A mom sobbing over the fact that her child is depressed and miserable after suffering years of abuse.
A dad riddled with guilt for failing to foresee that his own son would attempt suicide.
A little seven-year-old boy saying that his life is over because he feels that he must choose sides in a bitter divorce...
...all stem from brokenness.
As I talk about this I am struck with the question, “What does it mean to be broken?”
A simple search in a Thesaurus reveal definitions such as “run down”, “kaput”, “out of order”, “not working”, and “wrecked”.
I don’t know about you, but when I come across a machine that I rely on for coffee, a restroom, or anything else that I need or want, and it’s “out of order…
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Sep 17, 2015
JCS 024: A High School Reunion and 5 Reflections About Life
There comes a time when we sit back and reflect on who we really are. Where we came from, how we got to this point in our lives, where we're heading.
Thinking and reflecting about life happens a lot at funerals, weddings, and high school reunions.
A High School Reunion and 5 Reflections About Life
What were you like in high school?
I was reminded of this very question when I went to wife's 25th high school reunion.
You know the scenario, old friends catching up with each other while the spouses sit at a table bored out of their minds. Yeah, I was at that table.
But, as I sat at the table watching old friends get reacquainted, I noticed something interesting that made me reflect on my own life.
Reflections of our humanity, what makes us truly human, the cord that connects us all.
We all have a past, some we are grateful for, some we regret.
Here are 5 Reflections of humanity:
1. We all have a story.
High school reunions are great places to put on a mask and pretend we have it…
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Sep 15, 2015
JCS 023: The Psychology of a Successful Entrepreneur
What goes on in the mind of a successful entrepreneur? What makes one entrepreneur successful and other's not?
Find out in this episode.
Ahh, the life of an entrepreneur...
The sweet life of making lot's of money without working very hard. Sit back and relax, and take 10 vacations this year.
Umm, maybe, maybe not.
Are you an entrepreneur?
Here's my definition of an entrepreneur.
Someone who is willing to take a risk in order to make money, possibly a living, doing what he or she is passionate about.
Is that you? Maybe you are just starting out, or just dreaming of that day when you start, or maybe you're a seasoned pro and you are living the life right now.
Have you ever wondered what it takes to become an entrepreneur? To keep going when it's hard, to not get a big head when things go well.
If you're listening to this episode you are probably somewhere on the entrepreneurship spectrum. From just thinking about it, to dabbling in it, to an advanced pro.
But one thing that we…
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Sep 10, 2015
JCS 022: 5 Steps to Help You Achieve What You Truly Want in Life
What do you truly want in life?
We all have dreams and aspirations. We all want to be successful. We all want to be happy.
But not everyone has their dreams come true.
Not everyone is successful.
Not everyone is happy.
What is it that you want in life? What one thing comes to your mind?
* Better health/ mental health
* Family
* Better marriage
* Relationships
* Finances to pay your bills
* Own your own businessImagine for a moment - what if that dream came true? How would it change your life?
What's keeping you from truly living the life you want?
Fear, anxiety, depression?
5 Steps to Help You Achieve What You Truly Want in Life
Overcoming the mental barriers that will help you achieve what you desire.
What if?
Two paths: Lead to possibilities or lead to never will be.
5 ways to overcome your mental barriers:
1. Know your purpose - Clearly define your goal
If you don't have a clear and concise goal you won't know if you ever reach it. You have to know exactly what…
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Sep 8, 2015
JCS 021: Yes, We're All Affected by Depression
Whether you have experienced depression yourself, or you know someone who is struggling with it, we are all affected by depression.
Amazingly, according to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) as many as 8% American adults have experienced major depressed at some point in their lives, and women are twice as likely to be depressed. That's a lot of people affected by depression.
Sadly, as a therapist I see many children who are affected by depressed as well. What does this say about our culture and society? There are a lot of very sad and emotionally distressed people who are hurting out, and chances are you're one of them.
Are you affected by depression?
Depression is not just simply feeling blue or "down-in-the-dumps", although someone affected by depression can start out that way.
True depression takes over a person's mind and body and often prevents them from doing normal day-to-day activities.
Feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, numbness, brokenness, and loneliness of…
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Sep 3, 2015
JCS 020: When Our Superhero Dies and 5 Ways to Cope With Loss
Note: This episode is from an article that I wrote and was originally published on the Huffington Post May 12, 2015.
Superheroes have a special place in my heart. I grew up fascinated by Stan Lee @TheRealStanLee and his creations in the Marvel comic world. There’s just something about the message of hope and goodwill that superheroes convey that’s so appealing to me.
We all have superheroes. I’m not referring to Ironman, Superman, Spiderman, or Wonder Woman. I’m referring to people in our lives whom we look up to, who mean the world us.
The grandparent who always made you laugh, the aunt or uncle who always made time to sit with you and just talk about life, the best friend who was always there, the parent who always made you feel better.
We all have superheroes who make a big impact on our lives.
I have had many superheroes in my life. My grandpa who taught me how to fish, one of my closet friends in college who always shared a laugh, and of course, my dog. Hey, dogs can…
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Sep 1, 2015
JCS 019: How This 1 Simple Act Can Save Your Marriage
So, your marriage isn't doing that great. Is the fighting getting worse? Can't seem to talk to each other without throwing word "daggers" at each other?
Have you asked yourself a thousand times how your marriage got to be like this?
Well, you're not alone. In fact, according to research, there are more couples in your situation than you may realize. As a marriage therapist, I have witnessed some of the most hurtful and angry arguments in my office.
Sometimes I'm part referee, part therapist. But, over the years, and within my own marriage of over 20 years, I have seen the wonders of this one simple rule help dissolve hostilities and repair wounds.
I have also come to realize that many of the heated fights that couples have escalate into outright boxing matches because one or both couples are unwilling to try to resolve the argument. Many times the original context of the conflict is forgotten, but ends with hurt and pain due the escalating emotions.
Because of the many layers of h…
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Aug 27, 2015
JCS 018: How 1 Simple Parenting Tip Can Radically Change Your Child's Behavior
Learning this one simple parenting tip could help you reach your child. Listen as John walks parents through what they need to stop doing and what they need to start doing.
There's no such thing as a perfect parent, but if you can start parenting with this one simple "tweak" in your parenting you'll start noticing a difference in your child.
Parents, stop bickering with your kids. Don't try to negotiate with a strong-willed child - it won't work. And for Pete's sake, never jump to conclusions that your child is tying to manipulate you.
If your parenting style mimics these techniques please stop right now and reevaluate how you parent. Please don't misunderstand my admonishment - I'm not saying you are a bad parent. On the contrary, I assume you are a great parent who just needs a little guidance on how to handle your difficult child.
As a therapist, John reminds parents that if they want to get through to their child they need to reach their heart first - before addressing their…
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Aug 25, 2015
JCS 017: The Number 1 Style of Communication That Will Take Your Relationship to the Next Level
Bickering, yelling, screaming, defending, hurting, blaming, criticizing, belittling, one-upping, put downs, the silent treatment, fleeing, slamming doors, throwing things, breaking things, crying, threatening, giving ultimatums, black mailing, deceiving, manipulating...
All of these ways of communicating in the midst of a conflict will destroy or at least will damage a relationship.
The clients I see in my office for marriage or relationship counseling have been guilty of saying or doing some of the things I just listed. And I bet you have too.
How we communicate with others is so important, yet it's often neglected. You and I must be able to know how to communicate our feelings the right way if we want to resolve the conflicts that we find ourselves in.
This brings me to the 4 styles of communication:
Aggressive
Passive
Passive-aggressive
Assertive
Let's look at each style:
Aggressive:
The aggressive style is someone who is angry and everyone knows it. This person will yell or r…
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Aug 20, 2015
JCS 016: 10 Reasons Why Men Refuse to Seek Therapy
Men, you have a hard time admitting you need help, right? Even when it comes to asking for directions.
I get it. I have a hard time asking for directions too, but as a man and a therapist I want to encourage you to at least consider talking to a therapist.
In this episode I talk about the 10 reasons why men refuse to seek help.
10 Reasons Why Men Refuse to Seek Therapy:
* Shame. He might appear weak.
* Downplay. He thinks his problem really isn't that big of a deal.
* Private. He doesn't want anyone to know his problems.
* Defiance. He doesn't want anyone to tell him he's wrong.
* Narcissistic. He thinks he is better than others.
* Avoidance. He doesn't want to dig up the past.
* Embarrassment. He's concerned about what others will think.
* Toughness. He has been told all their life that "boys don't cry". He doesn't want to revel weakness.
* Martyrdom. He feels like he deserves what happened to him.
* Guilt. He thinks it was his fault in the first place.
To fin…
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Aug 18, 2015
JCS 015: Secrets - Top 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Keep Them
We all have had secrets at some point in our lives, but some of you are holding onto a BIG secret that has been weighing you down.
Is that you? Are you holding onto a deep secret, perhaps for years?
If so, this episode is just for you. Learn why keeping secrets is not a good idea and how it can actually make you a prisoner of your own thoughts.
Negative feelings such as guilt, shame and embarrassment can keep you from exposing your secret, but in the long run, keeping that secret to yourself may be the worst thing you can do.
Find out why in this episode of The John Cordray Show.
Top 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Keep Secrets:
1. Secrets can be harmul to your health
2. Secrets will isoloate you
3. Secrets will keep you from true freedom
The counselor and author John mentioned in this episode: Ed Welch I've Got A Secret (about keeping secrets within a marriage)
Find more at www.johncordray.com
I would love it if you followed me on Twitter @JohnPCordray
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Aug 13, 2015
JCS 014: Social Anxiety and the Fear of Crowds
According to the Social Anxiety Disorder Association, social phobia is the third largest mental health issue in the entire world - about 7% of the world's population!
If you suffer from social anxiety, you're not alone.
Find out in this episode of The John Cordray Show how you can fight your anxiety when you're around other people.
Social anxiety can affect all people regardless of age, gender or ethnicity. Social phobia doesn't care if you're rich or poor, well educated or under educated.
And, one of the worst things about social anxiety is that it's invisible. How do you fight an invisible force?
Find out how you can start fighting your social anxiety in this episode. Listen to John Cordray, a Licensed Therapist and National Certified Counselor talk about your anxiety and what you can do about it.
To learn more about anxiety and John Cordray visit www.johncordray.com
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Aug 11, 2015
JCS 013: How to Kick Your Inner Critic's Butt
Do you have an inner critic? That voice in your head that condemns just about everything you do when you make a mistake - blaming, criticizing and belittling your every thought and action?
The negative thought cycle goes around and around, leaving you feeling discouraged and defeated. You become your worst enemy.
It's time to stop calling yourself names and tearing yourself down.
The inner critic often causes people to isolate themselves and withdraw from just about everything and everyone.
If this happens to you it's time to start kicking your inner critic's butt.
It will be a battle between your inner critic and your inner coach.
An inner coach is the encouraging voice in your head that refuses to listen to the negative talk of the inner critic.
How to Kick Your Inner Critic's Butt:
* Draw a large "T" in the middle of a piece of paper.
* On the left side write down all of your negative thoughts and feelings.
* On the right side write down the truth and evidence that cou…
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Aug 6, 2015
JCS 012: 5 Organization Tips to Help Avoid the Shiny Object Syndrome
Good intentions don’t always produce good follow through for someone with ADHD.
In fact, you can have the best of intentions, but if you don’t back it up with follow through, nothing gets done except frustrating yourself and others.
Staying on task can be as easy as climbing Mt. Everest, but being distracted by shiny objects as easy as chewing gum.
What can someone with ADHD do if they can’t stay on task or organized?
Deadlines and organization can be mortal enemies to the ADHD brain, but all is not lost.
With daily practice and a strong internal motivation, anyone can learn what it takes to stay on top of their game - even someone with ADHD.
To learn more about ADHD or about staying organized visit John's podcast show notes here www.johncordray.com/podcast
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Aug 4, 2015
JCS 011: 4 Rules of Extremely Healthy Communication in Relationships
In this episode John talks about how to have extremely healthy communication in relationships. Learn what to do the next time you get into an argument.
Want to be a rockstar in your relationship? Learn how to have healthy communication.
Most couples need guidance on how to have healthy communication and John lays out the rule rules that will take your relationship to the next level.
Listen to this episode more than once to learn what you need to change in your communication.
4 Rules of Extremely Healthy Communication:
Rule #1: Listen first, speak second, listen last.
Make sure you watch your tone of voice, the level of your voice and the intent of your voice.
Rule #2: Don't jump to conclusions.
Get your evidence before you make a conclusion. Ask your partner if what you are thinking is accurate.
Rule #3: Show empathy before pride.
Put your partner first, then yourself in a conflict.
Rule #4: Forgive, release, resolve.
Ask and extend forgiveness. Release your anger and resen…
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Jul 30, 2015
JCS 010: Finding Your Identity After a Life Crisis with Chez Barbosa
In this episode of the JCS, John talks to Chez Barbosa from True Vine Counseling about finding your identity after a life crisis.
Many times people who experience a major life crisis such as a divorce, a death of a loved one, a job loss, or a move to a new city, can have a crisis of identity.
Questions like, "Who am I?" "What is my purpose?" or even questioning one's very existence can cause a downward spiral of depression and lonliness.
Chez also shares his life story and how he helps indiviudals overcome an identity crisis and about how he became a counselor.
In addition of being a counselor, Chez is a licensed pastor and works part-time as a worship pastor.
Chez has been counseling since 2007, helping individuals discover their true identity.
If you are interested in contacting Chez Barbosa you can reach out to him from the following ways:
Website: True Vine Counseling
Twitter: @ChezBarbosa
Email: chez@truevinecounseling.com
Thanks for listening, I really appreciate you!…
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Jul 27, 2015
JCS 009: 3 Reasons Why You May Want to Reconsider Using Insurance for Counseling
Health insurance is expensive and it makes sense to use your insurance for your next counseling session, but before you do, keep listening about why you may want to reconsider using your insurance for counseling.
As a licensed therapist, I see clients who use their insurance to help cover their sessions with me, but I have more clients who don't use their insurance.
Reasons to use your insurance:
* It could help supplement the cost of a counseling session. But, don't forget about your deductible.
3 Reasons Why You May Want to Reconsider Using Insurance for counseling:
* Your insurance plan may not cover mental health counseling.
* You insurance company requires a mental health disgnosis code. (you may not have a mental health diagnosis)
* Your mental health diagnosis will go on your medical record.
Alternatives to Using Insurance:
* Pay out of pocket (easiest)
* Use an HSA account (if you have one)
* Sliding scale
* Advance Payment (could be cheaper in the long r…
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Jul 24, 2015
JCS 008: 5 Steps to Reframe Negative Thinking into Positive Thinking
In this episode of The John Cordray Show, John will help you learn how to reframe your negative thinking into positive thinking.
Do have negative thoughts? Do you find it difficult to be positive?
John will teach you how to be more positive. Learn what you can do right now to be more positive.
5 Steps to Reframe Negative Thinking into Positive Thinking:
Step 1: Find a quiet place to process your thoughts. (without distractions)
Step 2: Identify your negative thought cycle.
Event - Thought - Feeling - Behavior - Outcome
Step 3: Turn the truth into belief.
Step 4: Keep telling yourself the truth.
Step 5: Imagine yourself on the edge of a dock. (Jump/commit)
For an infographic on the 5 steps use this link to access it from John's website. www.johncordray.com/blog
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Jul 21, 2015
JCS 007: Panic Attacks: Discover 6 Tools to Calm Them
Panic attacks are horrible and many people confuse them with heart attacks. Racing heartbeats, feeling sweaty, chest tightening and feeling light headed are indications of a panic attack.
Panic attacks can be frightening and can interfere with work, school and everything else.
If you have ever had a panic attack or you know someone who has had a panic attack be sure to listen to this episode.
John Cordray is a licensed therapist and he talks about the 6 tools that will help calm panic attacks. John helps many people with anxiety and he can help you too.
Get ready to enter The Green Zone.
Be sure to visit John's website www.johncordray.com for more information about emotionally healthy living.
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Jul 15, 2015
JCS 006: John Talks with Karen Tripp of Cancer Companions
Karen Tripp is the founder and president of Cancer Companions.
As an author of Christian books including God is Bigger Than Your Cancer and a daughter of a colon cancer survivor, Karen brings her training as a Marriage and Family Therapist to her work with Cancer Companions - a ministry that trains, equips, and supports church volunteers to draw cancer families closer to Christ.
In less than 4 years Cancer Companions have trained over 400 volunteers to run Christian cancer support groups and individual peer meetings.
You can reach Karen at karen@cancer-companions.org
www.cancer-companions.org
You can also learn more about John Cordray at www.johncordray.com.
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Jul 10, 2015
JCS 005: 10 Insights for Failing Marriages
Is your marriage on the rocks? Do you and your spouse fight all the time? Listen to John talk about 10 insights for failing marriages.
As a marriage therapist, John has seen many couples over the years in his office and now he talks about how you can help your marriage.
10 Insights:
1. It's more important to resolve a conflict, than to win it.
2. It takes two to be in a conflict, but only one to end it.
3. Learn to let go of things from the past.
4. Be quick to listen and slow to become angry.
5. Move toward your spouse instead of away.
6. Admit to your spouse when you're wrong.
7. Find common ground on what you both agree on first.
8. Take 15 minutes a day to talk.
9. Learn to compromise.
10. Ask your spouse what you can do to show love.
Be sure to visit John's website for more helpful content www.johncordray.com
Need to learn to be calm? Visit www.keepcalmacademy.com
_________________________
John Cordray, LPC, NCC
Licensed therapist & National Certified Counselor
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Jun 30, 2015
JCS 004: Living With Extreme Anxiety and What to Do About it
Anxiety is an emotion that we all have at some point in our lives. We actually need a certain amount of anxiety to prevent us from doing things that can harm us.
But, sometimes the very emotions that are meant to keep up safe can make us feel unsafe.
Learn from John about the 8 types of anxiety and what you should do if you have high anixety.
Be sure to visit www.KeepCalmAcademy.com
and www.JohnCordray.com
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Jun 29, 2015
JCS 003: 5 Signs that May Prove You Have an Anger Problem
Do you get angry easily? Do people say you have an anger problem? Find out what the 5 signs are that may prove you have an anger problem.
We all get angry at times, but not everyone has an anger problem. Find out what the 5 steps are and what to do if you have a anger problem.
If you have an anger problem, you can change for the better. Find out how you can change your anger problem from a licsend therapist, John Cordray.
John Cordray will help you live In The Green Zone.
Learn more about John Cordray on his website www.johncordray.com
To learn more about the Anger Management Video Course that John recommends visit www.KeepCalmAcademy.com
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Jun 27, 2015
JCS 002: How I Started on My Own as a Therapist
We all have a story to tell and today I'm talking about how I started on my own as a therapist. Do you think John always wanted to be a therapist? Find out his answer and learn how John became a therapist.
Learn the one comment that John heard when he was in High School that made a huge impact on his journey to become a therapist.
John sees many clients each week in his office and now you can meet him. Listen now and prepare to live In The Green Zone.
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Jun 23, 2015
JCS 001: Angry, Anxious, Happy: Find Out Which Zone You're In
Do you get angry? Do you have anxiety? Or, are you happy most of the time? Find out what Cognitive Zones are and how to get In The Green Zone.
This is John Cordray's first podcast show. Learn a little bit about who John Cordray is. As a licensed therapist and entreprenuer, John will walk you through the three Cognitive Zones.
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