13. nonsexual naked coconut oil contact improv movement: horizontal at connection camp
Play • 42 min

In this episode, I lie down with Dr. HazelGrace Yates. In a twin bed. At a summer camp. In the wilds of New Jersey.

HazelGrace is a clinical sexologist, a scholar, and the founder of The Cock Project and The Pussy Project. She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, and a Masters in Education.

The Cock Project offers those who identify with having a cock the opportunity to speak about their experiences living with it, and their feelings about it, directly to a group of others who self-identify the same way, while being silently and compassionately witnessed by a group that does not identify with having a cock, or would prefer to act as a compassionate witness. The Pussy Project is the inverse. Right after we recorded this episode, I had the opportunity to experience both workshops.

HazelGrace and I were both taking part in Connection Camp, a summer camp for adults that’s centered around activities designed to encourage authentic relating. It is produced by The Connection Movement, which is based in New York and led by Amy Silverman. More info on that in the show notes.

I felt extremely moved by my experience at The Cock Project workshop. Even though I live in a community in which we generally feel comfortable to speak openly about bodies and sex, I had never before heard even one cock owner speak in detail and at length about their experience with their cock. Certainly not more than an anecdote or two from a lover, definitely not to or in front of other cock owners, and decidedly not while witnessed by those who identify with having a pussy. I felt such admiration for their willingness to share. And I felt a kinship with their expressions of embarrassment, confusion, wonder, disappointment, and joy. I also felt a greater surge in my compassion for the challenges of growing up with an assigned male gender, as many of the feelings they expressed were inextricably intertwined with societal expectations of cock owners.

I’ll be inviting HazelGrace to Hacienda Studio to give workshops! You can contact HazelGrace if you'd like The Cock Project and The Pussy Project to come to your town by visiting hazelgraceyates.com.

In the first part of our conversation, we talk about hugging our parents, the touch palette, how intention changes the timbre of the way we touch, the human car wash, and nonsexual naked coconut oil contact improv movement, aka, the Coco Jam …

Come lie down with us.


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Horizontal’s theme music was created by Alan Markley. You can find his gorgeous blue eyes and rock star visage on Instagram as plasticcannons.

My saucy cover art was designed and illustrated by Shana Shay - check our her gorgeous character illustrations on shanashay.com

Every episode is mixed and mastered by Owen Muir, of Self-Disclosure productions. Find him on Twitter at @psychdisclosure - Owen’s podcast, Self-Disclosure, in which people speak openly, and often for the very first time, about their own experiences with mental health, is coming soon.

For most things horizontal, head to horizontalwithlila.com and sign up for the mailing list. Detailed show notes with vocabulary words! And articles! And sensual photos! will be delivered right to your inbox.

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