69. average-sized penis: quickie with The Sex Hacker
Play • 32 min

This episode is a little different than the others. It’s a quickie.

If you’ve been listening to horizontal, you know that: at the end of every conversation with a guest, I ask them to tell me a story. Each full conversation is between two and three hours long. It gets divided into two parts and released as two episodes. Part ones are available to everyone in all the podcast places. Part twos are available exclusively to my patrons through Patreon.com/horizontalwithlila. Sign up there for access to The Full Horizontal.

Naturally, our conversations get deeper and deeper as my guest and I drop in together. So when, at the very end of those part twos my guest tells me a tale, (except in the case of Annie Lalla, because we ran out of time!) it is a tale of intimacy of some kind. Any kind. It can be about friendships, lovers, family. It has been about being carried down a mountain on the back of a hunky guide, a literal and figurative friend death, the first time ejaculating where stuff came out, a big fat freaky wedding, and a miscarriage, among many, many other things. I always tell my guest that it can be any story that falls under the umbrella of intimacy, with any kind of tone or outcome, as long as it’s a story that they truly desire to tell it to me.

This quickie episode (which consists of three little stories, rather than one big one) was recorded live at my last Horizontal Storytelling Pajama Party, which was held at Hacienda Studio in Brooklyn. At Horizontal Storytelling, we all donned pajamas, had milk and cookies, got exceedingly cozy,  and curled up together, all 50 of us, to listen to just the stories, back to back, by six storytellers, one after the other. I got horizontal with my guest just like we do when we record a full episode, wearing robes, sharing a pillow, microphone positioned above us, gazing upward as though stargazing, or post-coital, or the wee-morning hours of a really good sleepover. I’m planning to host another one (or something like it) in the Spring of 2019, so make sure you’re on the mailing list through horizontalwithlila.com and all the details shall come!

In this quickie I get horizontal with Kenneth Play, my friend, my housemate, and world-renowned Sex Hacker, Sex Coach, Sex Educator, and co-founder of Hacienda Villa, the intentional community in which I live and love, and where I am a founding member. We’ve been living in the same house for four and half years. I introduce him quite fully in the episode, so I’ll just say here that I have been privileged to live in the same house as a Master of Sex. Kenneth taught me how to verbalize specifically the kind of oral sex that I desire. He taught me how to insert and operate my nJoy pure wand dildo. He also taught me the most nourishing technique I've ever come across for grounding with my lover after sex.

And now he's gathered all these tips, tricks, and techniques from his teachers — some of the greatest sex educators and coaches and tantra masters alive — as well as from hours upon hours of, let's call it "laboratory practice," and distilled them into a Sex Ed video series that is accessible to everyone. It focuses on giving pleasure to women and those with vulvas and consists of The Oral Course, The Squirting Course, The Penetration Course, & the Sex Hacker Bundle

This quickie was edited by Mr. Chad Michael Snavely, bearded man, podcast impresario. His roster is available on chadmichael.com. My sensual cover art was illustrated by Shana Shay based on my photograph. Hire this woman through 99 designs. And my intro music was composed by Alan Markley, rock star, and plasticcannons on Instagram.


Speaking of Instagram. Feel free to reach out to me there if you have any questions, ideas for dream guests, or musings spurred by any of the episodes. It’s lovely to know that you’re listening, and pondering.


And if you want access to The Full Horizontal, right now you can still get that when you become a patron of $5 a month and up. Very soon, I’ll be launching Season 3, and with it, I’ll be streamlining my tiers and raising the bar for patronage. But if you lock it in now, baby, you’ll be grandfathered in, with my gratitude for being an early patron of the horizontal arts. I have big dreams, and every single patron helps me happen them. Patreon.com/ horizontalwithlila

In other words, come lie down with us, in Bushwick, Brooklyn.


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