128. sex parties done right: lila x that sex chick
Play • 2 hr 5 min

Hello horizontal lover. Intimacy investigator. Horizontalist.

Typically, horizontal is the podcast about intimacy of all kinds, recorded while lying down. The first part of our conversation is available wherever you listen to podcasts, and the last part is available exclusively to my patrons on Patreon.

But this: is Season 4, my Season of Experiments.

And this experiment is an installment of Alexa Martinez’s that sex chick podcast, which was, full disclosure, recorded while in bed, but (gasp!) sitting upright. For that sex chick, it’s episode 34, and for horizontal, episode 128. I’m told it’s the longest Alexa has ever gone with a guest, so, here’s to horizontal stamina. *wink*

In this episode, sex parties done right, I share the orientation I lead at my last play party — which is a Facebook-safe euphemism for a sex party — in its entirety.

Alexa’s super-connected sex-positive crew of curious kittens, a collective on Facebook called That Sex Group, have been really curious about these parties. Both of us have found it’s what a lot of people want to know about when they find out it’s a) something we’ve got a fair amount of experience with, and b) something we’re willing to talk about publicly.

So here! We made you an episode.

This contains the lion’s share of wisdom I’ve gathered about play parties during my 7 years in the sex-positive community. What can happen at a play party, how you prepare for it, how to communicate with your partner or partners about it, some points of etiquette, and some of my personal tales of play parties past.

I first met Alexa at a Future of Sex panel, curated by the podcast host and sextech expert, Bryony Cole, who was my guest for episodes 28. future of sex, and 29. sexual attitude readjustment day. This was also the very same event at which I met Bryan Stacy (who was on said panel) & Dominick Q., champions of men’s work and co-hosts of The Great Man Within podcast, who were also my guests for a Season Threesome on episodes 76. the discerning dick, and 77. post-sex choice. (In Season Three, I got horizontal with two guests at a time, who were in some kind of relationship with one another. Hence: the season threesome!)

Recently, I guested on The Great Man Within, and we did a deepdive into The Stoplight Game. It’s episode #220, titled, “How To Ask For What You Want in the Bedroom.” 

This to say that… in the not-so-distant future, when I have Alexa on my podcast AT LAST, we will all have been guests on each other’s shows, and isn’t that a particularly pretty podcaster-polycule? 

Yes. Yes I think it is.

Alexa is my kindred. She approaches sex, love, & relationships with the same kind of voracious curiosity I do, tickled through with playfulness. She was one of the first to encourage me to set up shop as an Intimacy Coach, and now, three years later, I finally have. She sometimes has purple hair and is always up for a frolic and a photo opportunity and a deep conversation. You can hear her smiling when she talks, and the way she shares her vulnerable relationship realizations with the world are both an affirmation and an inspiration to me. I love her. I hope you will too.

Come get figuratively horizontal with us, in Canggu, Bali, Indonesia, and Austin, Texas.

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