Episode 115 Cyber and Tech Security and High Conflict
Play • 54 min

In this episode Brook has a special guest Patric McClory, who is the CEO of several high tech startups and who has an overarching perspective on cyber and internet security. We will be discussing ways to help protect you cyber space for you and you family and to help you relax and worry about other things. Enjoy!!!

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast
Kate Anthony, CPCC
Rebuilding Community After Divorce with Daniel Herrold
Divorce comes with many harsh realizations. Once the dust starts to settle, lost friendships or friendships that no longer feel supportive can be the most painful realizations. What the hell happened to your friends? And how do you make new ones? My guest, Daniel Herrold, is the Co-Creator of DivorcedOver40, an online community that provides resources and real-life testimonials to divorcees over 40 years of age.  There are several aspects to Daniel’s story that are poignant, like his deep respect and commitment to his ex-wife (the woman who stayed home for many years raising their children), as well as the story of how he created a new community with people he’d never known before. It is my hope that by sharing stories such as Daniel’s, you’ll see what is possible after divorce. Sure, it may not always be rainbows and unicorns. But rebuilding a community is possible and can come pretty darn close to magical too. Show Highlights * Why it’s important to surround yourself with people who are going through a divorce, who understand it, or who have been through it. (7:31) * What happened to your friends? Some of the realities of friendship, including lost friendships, post-divorce. (8:12) * Why should you focus on self-care, healing, and establishing that friendship group to help the healing process, instead of dating or thinking about your next partnership. (12:21) * Daniel’s story of recognizing the opportunity cost of his ex-wife being a stay at home mom and what that meant for them post-divorce. (19:58) * How to put resentment and emotional baggage aside and show up with integrity. (26:30) * Why Daniel created DivorcedOver40, building a community of nonjudgemental peers. And why it is not a matchmaking site. (36:21) Learn More About Daniel: Daniel is the Co-Creator of DivorcedOver40, an online community that provides resources and real-life testimonials to divorcees over 40 years of age. Daniel is a resident of Tulsa, OK and has been divorced for nearly two years now and has three daughters. Resources & Links: DivorcedOver40 DivorcedOver40 on Instagram DivorcedOver40 on Facebook Smart Dating Academy on YouTube The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group
47 min
Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Got chemistry? Nice But Not Enough!
Hijackals use chemistry to manipulate and control you. They exploit it to feel they have power over you. It is a significant part of trauma-bonding. Get clear on what's really happening when you think you're in love, rather than knowing you're being used.  HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: * What lust, attraction, and attachment have to do with creating toxic relationships * Why #Hijackals want to recreate their trauma from a position of control * What part trauma-bonding plays in thinking you have chemistry with a toxic person * How #Hijackals depend on the chemistry to keep you hooked in a toxic relationship, a verbally abusive relationship * How misused chemistry can lead to emotional abuse Chemistry may draw you back to a relationship of narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma. You may confuse it with love. It isn't love. Don't be fooled. Stop the trauma-bonding, too! Big hugs! Rhoberta Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER... WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp ------------------------------------------------------------- I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Support Circle now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me. WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Circle. Save $24 on your first three months. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- #traumabonding #chemistryisnotenough #verballyabusive #dontgobacktoabuse #lust #attraction #attachment #don'tmistakechemistryforlove #chemistryisnotcaring #goingbacktoanabuser #gotchemistry #sexualchemistrycanbedangerous #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29 min
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Beyond Bitchy: Mastering the Art of Boundaries
Vicki Tidwell Palmer, LCSW
#118 - How Your Boundaries Get Calibrated
Before we get into the main part of this episode, I have a big announcement! Starting in February, I’ll be offering monthly workshops to support you as you work your way through the 5-Step Boundary Solution process. Sign up for workshop updates and more details using this link! The idea of calibration is a hugely important one when you’re doing boundary work. This scale for what is standard or normal affects so many parts of our lives, from our initial reactions to people all the way to who we choose to date or to partner with. But just because you’re calibrated in a certain way regarding boundaries, it doesn’t mean you’re fated to stay there forever. You can change your calibration in a positive way, and this episode will help you get started. Biggest Takeaways From Episode #118: * The calibration we receive as children has many consequences over our lives. We are calibrated by our family around our own boundaries. For example, if we grow up in a boundary-less family, that will feel like "the norm" or standard to us. * The way in which we are calibrated largely determines the people who we are attracted to, as well as the people who we feel repelled by. This explains why people often partner with people who are similar to their parents. * Calibration isn’t static, and it can change. If you grew up in a family on the boundary-less end of the continuum and struggle to set boundaries with people, you can actively start to work on your boundaries. * Calibration can change in the other direction too, with us becoming desensitized over time. Highlights from Episode #118: * Vicki welcomes listeners to the show and wishes everyone a happy New Year! She then shares the exciting announcement that she hinted at in the last episode of 2020. [00:39] * Today’s episode is about calibration, Vicki explains, and chats about what that means. [03:32] * We learn that there are three reasons why we’re generally most impressionable (in terms of calibration) when we’re children. [07:38] * Vicki gives an overview of how calibration relates to boundaries in terms of standards. [10:01] * How you’re calibrated can affect how you react to people, Vicki explains. [14:49] * We hear some good news and some bad news about calibration. [20:46] * How do you change your calibration in a positive way once you become aware of it? [24:55] * Vicki talks about some simple ways for how to shift from being boundary-less to the healthy middle. [29:08] Links and Resources: * Sign up for updates about Vicki’s monthly boundary workshops beginning February 2021 * Vicki Tidwell Palmer * Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook * Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer * 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier * Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram * The Radiant Threefold Path * Beyond Bitchy on Spotify * Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #1 – Boundaries: What They Are and Why They’re So Misunderstood (start here and work your way forward for the foundations of this podcast!) * Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt * Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
32 min
The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast
The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast
Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.
The High Level Narcissist's Destructive Cycle of Deceit
Narcissists crowd our world today. They are our spouses, ex-spouses, relatives, bosses, co-workers, spiritual mentors, friends. our society rewards high level narcissists handsomely with praise, adulation, celebrity, wealth, social status. The narcissist's raison d'etre is winning. As long as he/she achieves his goals, nothing else matters. Personal problems, even those of close family members, are too messy and time consuming. Individuals with this personality disorder are ethically and morally challenged. Narcissists weave grand visions of success that are designed to lead them to stashes of wealth, power, prestige and control. Winning electrifies the narcissist; it is the engine, the fire that keeps him going. They hire bright talented people to implement their ideas. They take advantage of their assistants by underpaying them and overpromising while they carefully maintain their elite lifestyles. Above all, the high level narcissist is deceptive in all of his relationships and transactions. Some narcissistic dreams go astray. The high level narcissist takes the blame off of himself and onto his "underlines." Protect yourself from becoming enmeshed in the narcissist's destructive web. Learn to identify the high level narcissist in your personal and professional life. Steer clear of them if you can. Assert your grounded individuality and strong sense of self. Appreciate who you are. Get the sleep and rest that you deserve; movement and exercise; nourishing food and good hydration, a spiritual practice how you define this, experience of beauty and nature. https://tinyurl.com/y39j2uke www.mhnrnetwork.com https://tinyurl.com/y3ss5clg
8 min
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?
There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrating and lead to conflict in the marriage. We’ve talked about the abusive kind of control before, so if you want to learn more about that kind of control feel free to go back to our previous episodes of the podcast to learn more about what that looks like.  Today, we’re talking about the annoying kind of controlling. This is not so much about the spouse’s power and dominance as the controlling spouse’s worry, fear, anxiety, and maybe even mental health issues that are driving this behavior. And sometimes the non-controlling spouse may also be acting in ways that prompt this behavior. If you’re listening to this to try to figure out your spouse, you may ask yourself what your role might be and how might you help your spouse feel less of a need to be in control. Where Control Issues Come From 1. Fear Control issues are often rooted in fear. This is the first place to look. If you’re afraid and you want to make it safer, you’re going to want to control the variables. This is quite a common response to fear. Fear can come from a number of different places. One place fear can come from is trauma. When something very frightening or overwhelming happens, it may cause a person to install certain requirements or demands in order to preserve safety. For example, you’ve been in a late night car accident, and you now want to control all of the family travel so that there’s no late-night travel going on and no one is allowed to go out after dark. So now you’ve become “controlling.” You’ve installed requirements or demands on others in order to preserve your sense of safety and well-being, to stop the horror from repeating itself. Another source of control is abandonment (fear of being left alone). If you were left alone at some point as a child or at a point in your marriage, that may result in the kind of controlling behavior where you don’t let your spouse do things on their own or do certain things on their own. You always have to be there, or you always have to do things together. 2. Betrayal Betrayal may also lead to controlling relationships with certain kinds of people in order to prevent re-betrayal. For example, if in your first marriage you were sexually betrayed by your spouse, in your second marriage you may marry a faithful person, but you exert control on them to make sure that that previous betrayal doesn’t re-occur, much to the frustration of your current spouse. That can get difficult because it can cause such distress in your marriage that there’s an emotional separation, or drifting apart that occurs between you. Thus, controlling behavior can lead to further dysfunction.  In another scenario, if you’re a late teenager and you saw your father gamble away your family’s savings and eventually lose the home, job, etc., that’s a major financial betrayal. And later in life when you are a mom you may think you’re a super budgeter, but there’s actually a ton of control over where every penny goes. So, in this situation if the husband buys a chocolate bar and the wife gets upset and he may get frustrated and say “can I not even buy a chocolate bar without asking your permission?” This is clearly a higher level of control than just a healthy budgeting habit. 3. Mental Health Issues Now that we’ve talked about a few fear-related causes of control, we’re going to move on to look at mental health. Some mental health issues can cause controlling behavior. Take personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Someone with BPD may say if you leave, I’ll hurt myself, or I might not be ok somehow (there’s a clinging aspect of BPD that does relate to fear of abandonment, but it is also a mental health condition and the fear piece is a part of...
23 min
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