Heal from Infidelity
Andrea Giles
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Heal from Infidelity is a podcast dedicated to teaching women how to heal their lives from the inside out after betrayal in their marriages. Life Coach Andrea Giles combines her own personal experience and coaching wisdom to help women move past their biggest hurdles of learning to trust themselves (and others) again. She will teach you how to create a life you never dreamed possible. You’ll be amazed at what you are capable of when you learn how to powerfully help yourself. For more information, visit andreagiles.com.
Available episodes
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Nov 17, 2023
Seeing the Full Picture | Ep #129
Sometimes we can use popular opinion against ourselves. We can listen to the opinions of others, rather than deeply searching our own hearts for what is true.
In this episode, I use a powerful analogy to teach you how to do your own “investigating” into what is true, beyond what outside sources may tell you.
You will learn how to see the full scope of your situation, rather than focusing only on the things that feel the biggest or scariest.
When we learn to get a broader view, we make more informed decisions that become easier to back up over time.
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
To learn more about working with me, go to: https://andreagiles.com/get-your-life-back/
Follow me on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/theinfidelitycoach/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Nov 3, 2023
Financial Infidelity with Tracy Coenen | Ep #128
Romantic infidelity and financial infidelity often go hand in hand. Money is frequently spent on the affair partner, and in high-control relationships, spouses can feel like they have no say about where the money goes.
In this episode, guest Tracy Coenen and I discuss:
* Hidden money
* Financial rights for stay-at-home moms
* Divorce settlements
* Financial options, even if you are staying married
Tracy has been investigating fraud for more than 25 years, but she didn’t always want to be a forensic accountant. With a dream of one day being a prison warden, Tracy went to Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI to get a criminology degree. A class on financial crime investigations reminded her how much she loved Encyclopedia Brown books as a kid. She continued her criminology degree but added accounting and economics courses so she could become a CPA ... and here Tracy is, finding money in cases of corporate fraud, high net worth divorce, and other financial shenanigans.
Learn more from Tracy at: https://www.fraudcoach.com/infidelity
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
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Oct 20, 2023
Changing the Dance | Ep #127
Infidelity is one of the few things that can change everything, forever. There is no going back.
How we deal with the “after” in infidelity is crucial. It presents an opportunity to change old patterns, learn new ways of being, and new ways to interact with one another.
In this episode, you’ll learn how changing up the old patterns will serve you, whether you stay with your current spouse or not. You’ll understand why the only way forward is if both partners commit to being vulnerable, clumsy and to putting their best foot forward.
Register for the free class, “How to Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.”
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Oct 6, 2023
A Spark of Desire | Ep #126
Do you often feel like you “should” try to stay after infidelity? Or maybe you feel pressure from others telling you to leave because, as the saying goes, “Once a cheater, always a cheater?”
In this episode, I shine a light on how to listen for what is actually true for you. Other well-meaning people will always have their opinions, but in the end, you are the one that has to live in your life.
Desire is a strong indicator of the direction your wisest self wants to go. When you learn to listen to it, it will become your compass, and all you need is just a spark of a desire for it to get you moving.
This desire can cut through the noise of your own mind, others’ opinions, and your intense emotions.
Make sure to tune in to better understand the power of desire and how it can get you moving forward.
Schedule a free call to join my new group, “Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.”
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Sep 22, 2023
Intrusive Thoughts Part 2 | Ep #125
In this follow up to my last episode, “Intrusive Thoughts,” I go into more depth as to how to navigate the thoughts that seem to take over and rob you of your peace.
I share two points that will help you gain some traction and direction the next time an intrusive thought shows up.
Point one is about how intrusive thoughts can keep us stuck in the past rather than seeing what is in front of us. I also talk about how sometimes staying in this space can keep us from our own growth and development.
Point two is about allowing the thoughts that come up to show us what we need to do to close “open loops” in our mind. This part is about leaning into the things we need to be looking at to set down the thoughts that keep showing up.
Don’t miss this episode, as you will leave with even more direction and actionable steps to take that will help you quiet your mind and move forward.
Schedule a free call to join my new group, “Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.”
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Sep 8, 2023
Intrusive Thoughts | Ep #124
Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? These are the ones that pop up, seemingly out of nowhere, and can derail your whole day.
In this episode, I cover where these thoughts come from, and how to process them so they no longer have a hold on you.
You will learn a strategy that will:
* Help you bring more awareness to the thought
* Give you direction as to what to do with it (so you are in charge of the thought rather than it being in charge of you).
If you are like every client I have ever worked with, you have unwanted thoughts, and are tired of the hold they have on you. Don’t miss this episode to learn how to get a hold on the thoughts that can disturb your peace.
Want to work with me? Schedule a free call to join my new group, “Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.”
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Aug 25, 2023
Cognitive Dissonance | Ep #123
What happens when something you believed as true is challenged? Or when you make up your mind about something and immediately doubt it? Does it mean you made the wrong decision, or is something else happening?
In this episode, you’ll learn all about cognitive dissonance and how it is an indication that something is out of alignment for you. It may be that your beliefs need to be reevaluated or expanded. It may be that you are being led into deeper self-trust and wisdom.
While cognitive dissonance can be quite uncomfortable, it can lead you into a place of deep peace, knowing that your internal values match your external actions.
How to work with me: https://calendly.com/andreagilescoaching/get-your-life-back
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Aug 11, 2023
Emotional Divorce | Ep #122
After infidelity, the decision needs to be made whether to stay or go. But for most people, that is only half the decision.
Many people go through life being physically in a relationship but emotionally out. Some leave marriages physically but cannot separate themselves emotionally from their spouse, so they don’t really move on.
In this episode, I help you identify exactly where you are in your process forward. I help you know how to more fully commit to getting where you want to go so you can have real peace.
This is deep emotional work, and this episode can help you understand not only why it has been so difficult to go all in, but how you can help yourself get there.
Join me for my free webinar, HOW TO GET YOUR LIFE BACK AFTER INFIDELITY, on August 26th at 2 pm MST. You can register here.
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Jul 28, 2023
Trauma and Resiliency | Ep #121
When you think of yourself, do you identify more with being someone who has been traumatized, or as someone who is incredibly resilient, despite your trauma?
Humans all experience trauma. It is inescapable. But what we forget is that as humans we are built to be resilient, and to rise above our trauma- not get stuck in it.
In this episode, you’ll learn how to create more resiliency as you navigate the choppy waters of infidelity. You will understand how you are getting yourself stuck in the story of your trauma, and leave with a clear path of how to grow stronger, despite your challenges.
Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me below to see if it would be a good fit for you.
https://calendly.com/andreagilescoaching/know-in-90
To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Jul 14, 2023
Courage Inspired Action | Ep #120
Most of us understand the importance and significance of courage. It is an emotion that can help us to look at hard things in our lives. But if we are unwilling to take action based on our feeling of courage, we end up right where we started.
In this episode, I share some ideas pertaining to infidelity about some of the ways we need to not only have courage, but to turn that courage into action to ultimately have what we want.
I use specific stories and analogies to help my listeners know how this applies to them, and things they can start doing today.
Ways to work with me:
Want to know how to decide to stay or go after infidelity? Join my free class here.
Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me below to see if it would be a good fit for you. https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Jun 30, 2023
Keeping the Peace | Ep #119
How much pressure do you put on yourself to “Keep the Peace”? Maybe there are things you don’t say because you don’t want to create conflict. Maybe you just stuff things down rather than speak up and make others uncomfortable.
In this episode, I discuss the concept of keeping the peace and where it often backfires. What if there is something better than keeping the peace? What if protecting your own peace over others' is the best work you can do?
If you want to understand areas you are hiding to maintain peace, listen to this episode. You will grow in your courage and strength to stand up for what you want most, even if it means temporarily rocking the boat in the name of creating long-term peace.
Ways to work with me:
Want to know how to decide to stay or go after infidelity? Join my free class here.
Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me to see if it would be a good fit for you. https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
To learn more from me,…
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Jun 16, 2023
Understanding Our Impact | Ep #118
In the aftermath of infidelity, it can feel like your life has been blown up, and our spouse sometimes does not seem to understand how much their choices impacted us.
This episode discusses the importance of knowing that our spouse “gets it” in order to really move forward and build trust. I also discuss growing our capacity to look at ourselves and how the things we say and do affect others.
Solid relationships are built on both people taking responsibility for how we each impact each other.
Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Gile…
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Jun 2, 2023
Self-advocacy with Samantha Nielsen | Ep #117
In this episode, I welcome guest and self-advocacy expert, Samantha Nielsen to the show. If you have ever struggled in knowing how to speak up for yourself, this episode is for you.
Samantha shares her own experience with watching herself shrink and be miserable until it became unbearable. She had an amazing transformation and completely changed her life. More about Samantha:
Samantha is the happiest divorced woman on the planet! She believes that divorce is a necessary resource, gift and tool. Divorce, while difficult, allows people to move beyond hopeless situation and create new and better outcomes. While finding the courage to leave a difficult relationship can be one of the most difficult decisions, it is also incredibly empowering. Samantha holds a degree in Interpersonal Communications. She's also a Certified Life & Divorce Coach. Samantha offers private coaching to both men and women in all stages of the divorcing process. Connect with Samantha at www.moderndaydivorce.com o…
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May 19, 2023
Recognizing Truth | Ep #116
Do you often wonder how you’ll know the difference between a truth and a lie? It is a common question after infidelity, since the very nature of infidelity includes deceit.
In this episode, I share a powerful analogy that will help you discern for yourself between truth and error. You will come away from this episode wiser, more in tune with your own truth, and with a higher commitment to seeking truth, at all cost.
Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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May 5, 2023
Lost and Found | Ep #115
In this lost and found episode, I share a story of recently losing my child in Disneyland and some profound lessons that came from that.
I came away from that experience recognizing clearer than ever that we are not meant to do life alone, especially the hard part.
In an intense situation, helpers came. Kindness was shown.
I want this for you, too, as you navigate feeling lost in infidelity.
Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Apr 21, 2023
Grandiosity | Ep #114
In this episode, you’ll learn how grandiosity can lead to affairs. If we think we are better than others, we tend to excuse our behavior and make exceptions for ourselves.
You’ll learn what grandiosity is and how it can show up for the betrayed partner as well as the one who betrayed.
You’ll have a clear understanding of how the mindset of grandiosity gets in the way of real transparency, connection and healing and what to to about it.
Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Apr 7, 2023
How to Change | Ep #113
Are there things in your life you want to change? Do you want your spouse to change?
In this episode, you will learn the fast-track to how to really, deeply, fundamentally change. Instead of just believing that you can’t change or that you are simply a failure in aspects of your life, you’ll understand why change has not “stuck” in the past, and how to move forward in becoming who you want to be.
You’ll also learn how to see if someone else is just going through the motions, or deeply changing.
Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 And…
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Mar 24, 2023
The High Fidelity Marriage | Ep #112
There is a lot of discussion about infidelity, but what about fidelity? What does it even look like to live in a high fidelity marriage?
In this episode you will learn about five elements that have to be present to have a high fidelity marriage.
Even if you have already experienced infidelity, fidelity can be learned. It can become your new reality, and it begins with becoming 100% faithful to yourself.
Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Mar 10, 2023
Inherent Risk | Ep #111
One of the main questions we have after experiencing infidelity is, “How do I know it won’t happen again?”
In this episode, I teach about risk as being inherent in relationships and how to avoid taking risks with an unlikely return on investment.
You’ll learn what questions to ask yourself to gauge just how much risk you are taking, and when it is wise to go all in.
Risk IS inherent in any relationship, but in this episode you will learn how to be wiser about it.
Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program here.
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list here.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Feb 24, 2023
What Is Infidelity? | Ep #110
Have you ever wondered if what you experienced is infidelity? For some situations, there is no doubt. But for many others, there is a lot of nuance.
In this episode, you’ll learn exactly what infidelity is. When you have the words to define your experience, it is empowering. You are able to see more clearly why your experience felt like a violation, and what to do with that information.
As the saying goes, knowledge is power. The more you know, the more you will be able to confidently advocate for yourself.
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list here.
Apply for my group program, Know in 90, here.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Feb 10, 2023
Long-term Healing | Ep #109
Often times, in an attempt to avoid temporary pain and discomfort, we avoid hard conversations, stuff down our own feelings and hide how we really feel from others.
In this episode, you’ll learn about how to create long term healing by practicing the concept of sustainability. By looking down the road at what we may have to deal with if we put things off today, it can give us the courage to do the hard things now, knowing we are ultimately creating something lasting.
Most of all, you will learn how to help create sustainable practices of healing that will help you truly transcend infidelity and use it for your good.
Shelley Swapp’s information:
www.shelleyswapp.com
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Apply for my group program, Know in 90, here: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has th…
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Jan 27, 2023
Excusing Bad Behavior | Ep #108
This episode is all about why we excuse bad behavior. Whether it be from our kids, spouse, co-workers, boss, etc., there are reasons we allow people to treat us the way they do.
When you know what to look for and how to deal with the discomfort of teaching people how to treat you, life gets a whole lot easier.
Most of us are conflict-averse and put up with behaviors that aren’t helping anybody. You can learn how to lovingly hold people accountable while growing your own self-respect.
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles
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Jan 13, 2023
My Biggest Lesson from 2022 | Ep #107
2022 was one for the books for me personally. I started the year with a new baby, launched a new program, and grew in ways I didn’t know I needed.
In this episode, I share my biggest lesson from the year: one that, when practiced, can bring relief and peace even in the midst of uncertainty and discomfort.
The lesson is around the concept of duality: The ability to hold onto two opposing views at the same time.
Don’t miss this episode if you want help navigating the things that don’t make sense or don’t have an easy answer.
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program here.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 - 2023 Andrea Gile…
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Dec 30, 2022
How to Co-Regulate | Ep #106
In a world that praises extreme independence, many of us don’t know how to help each other calm our nervous systems. We may even think it is co-dependence to try to help each other in this way.
In this week’s episode, we will take a deep dive into what it actually means to co-regulate, and how it can bring deep healing. We will also take a look at how our parents help us to learn how to settle ourselves down by first regulating with us.
You’ll understand what healthy co-regulation means as opposed to co-dysregulation.
Don’t miss this episode- first to understand your own patterns better, and to learn how to ask for the help you need.
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program here.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and ot…
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Dec 16, 2022
Dealing with Conflict | Ep #105
In my years of coaching, one thing I have heard too many times to count is, “I don’t like conflict.” My clients use this as a reason to not take bold action, not speak the things that need to be said, and ultimately to hide from discomfort.
In this episode, I cover conflict with a new lens; one that helps my clients lose their fear about stepping into conflict with the intention of getting to the other side with problems solved.
Listen to this episode to see where you are hiding from conflict, and to learn how to face it head on.
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program here.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Dec 2, 2022
Re-imagining Discovery Day | Ep #104
For many people, D-day, or discovery day (the day they found out about their spouse’s infidelity) is a heavy, traumatic day. When they have the anniversary of that day coming up, it can fill them with dread.
In this episode, I’ll be sharing ways to think about discovery day that can bring relief, and even hope.
It does not have to be an awful day. It can be a day with some emotion as you remember what happened, but it can be many other things as well.
Listen to this week’s episode to learn how to think about this (and other) potentially hard days in ways that help you move forward.
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Nov 18, 2022
Breaking Free from Resentment | Ep #103
Resentment. This is an emotion I see in almost all of my clients, whether they be the one who was betrayed or the one who did the betraying. While it is a common emotion that many of us struggle with, it can be deadly if left unchecked.
In this episode, I’ll cover where resentment comes from and why it can be so tempting to hold on to it. You will hear real life examples of clients I work with who are grappling with this and seeing how it is keeping them from moving forward.
You will also learn what to do with this powerful emotion. Listen to learn how to cut through resentment and turn it into something much more useful and sustainable.
To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles…
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Nov 4, 2022
The Impact of Infidelity | Ep #102
Many would agree that infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences to endure. In this episode, rather than taking that statement at its word, I dive into the impact of infidelity and the ways it affects us.
Just like all things in life, there are some things that are out of control, and some that are very much in our control. Even with infidelity, there is much that we can choose. We can choose just how much we allow the choices of another to impact us. This episode will help you see where you are making the experience more painful for yourself and what you can do about it.
To work with me, schedule a 1-1 call to see if my upcoming Know in 90 group is right for you. We begin in November!
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Oct 21, 2022
After the Affair with Luke Shillings | Ep #101
In this episode, I interview Luke Schillings about his personal experience with experiencing and healing from infidelity. He has used his own painful experience to now work with men who are navigating that space. Listen for some amazing wisdom of how to let go, heal, and move on.
Luke is a 40 something father of two who recently escaped the 9-5 to chase his dreams of becoming a relationship and infidelity coach. UK based and Lincolnshire born and bred, he can often be found running in the countryside, volunteering, drinking coffee or engrossed in an Excel spreadsheet. He now takes much of his life experience, combined it with his unique coaching skills to help those who have been through infidelity trust again and move forward with their lives.”
Luke's Info:
* Website: www.lifecoachluke.com
* Facebook: www.facebook.com/mylifecoachluke
* Instagram: www.instagram.com/mylifecoachluke
* LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/mylifecoachluke
* After the Affair Podcast on Apple
* Af…
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Oct 7, 2022
The Best of Heal from Infidelity | Ep #100
To celebrate 100 episodes, tune in to hear snippets from the top 5 episodes thus far. You, my dear listeners, have been a delight to show up for, and I want you to know which episodes have been the most listened to. You may just learn that others are right where you are, and that you are not alone in struggling with the same things.
Thank you for your love, support, shares, and reviews. Here’s to the next 100!
To work with me, schedule a 1-1 call to see if my upcoming Know in 90 group is right for you. We begin in November!
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Sep 23, 2022
Will It Always Hurt? | Ep #99
A question I get asked a lot is, “Will it always hurt?” For most people, infidelity is one of life's experiences that can shake up your very foundation. It can be hard to imagine a time when it doesn't hurt every day.
In this episode, I share not only the good news that you won’t always hurt, but steps to take to make sure you don’t. Your healing does not have to be outsourced to anyone but you -- you can do things right now that will help you feel peace, calm, and start healing your heart.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Sep 9, 2022
Negative Expectations | Ep #98
When you think of the future, do you feel a sense of foreboding, or hope?
Much of what you anticipate can be traced to past, unresolved experiences with your partner. In this episode, you’ll learn what probably happened and didn’t happen before the infidelity that is creating problems now.
Once you understand what is happening and what you can do about it, you’ll be able to choose how to view the future and be very intentional about what you are creating.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Aug 26, 2022
Entitlement | Ep #97
After infidelity, it can be really easy to feel like your spouse owes you something. He needs to make it up to you, right? It makes sense that one might feel this way, but in this episode you’ll learn how this attitude can keep you from the very things you want most - peace, calm, and healing.
Entitlement is also what can set some people up to cheat in the first place and keep them stuck after infidelity. This episode will be useful for both the one who strayed and the one who was betrayed.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Aug 12, 2022
Validation Dependency | Ep #96
Validation is something we all enjoy as humans. We want to feel connected, heard, and seen.
For many of us though, especially if we were shot down a lot as kids, we grow into validation dependence and have difficulty functioning if someone is not constantly telling us how great or right we are.
In this episode, you’ll learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy validation, how to spot it in yourself and your partner, and how to strengthen your own sense of self so you won’t be as reliant on others to validate you.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Jul 29, 2022
Intimacy After Infidelity with Amanda Louder | Ep #95
Some questions that come up a lot with clients is, “What about sex after finding out? Is it bad to be intimate? What if I don’t want to? What if I do?” To answer these questions, I interviewed sex coach Amanda Louder.
Amanda Louder is a Certified Life Coach who helps women from conservative Christian backgrounds love their sex life. She helps women embrace their sexuality to help them strengthen their relationship with themselves, their spouse, and God.
In addition to being a coach, Amanda is also a wife to Kevin, and mom and step-mom to 5 kids, ranging in ages from 14-22. In her spare time, she enjoys reading, watching her kids play sports, fishing, and camping.
To hear more from Amanda, you can find her on Instagram @AmandaLouderCoaching, on her podcast “Sex for Saints” where she talks about all things sex and marriage, or on her website AmandaLouder.com.
Want to know more about my group Know in 90?
The August group is enrolling NOW and begins on August 16th. Want…
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Jul 15, 2022
Letting Go | Ep #94
A question I get asked regularly is about letting go - how to let go of the pain and hurt of infidelity.
In this episode, I will cover things we hold on to, why we hold onto them, and how to let them go. You’ll learn how your brain is trying to protect you from future harm and what to do to quiet it down.
Infidelity can be trauma-inducing, and the more you understand the ways this shows up for you, the easier it will be to heal.
Interested in joining the August group of Know in 90? Come talk to me here.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Jul 1, 2022
Releasing Shame | Ep #93
Shame. An emotion we all feel but no one wants to talk about. It’s heavy, all-consuming, and keeps us isolated and stuck.
This episode is all about letting go of shame. First, you’ll learn about the origins of shame and how it often pretends to be useful. You’ll learn how shame sabotages our efforts to heal and doesn't allow us to see things as they really are.
Want to know what the cure is to shame? Give this episode a listen and you’ll have real steps to take to manage the shame of your spouses’ infidelity. It will set you free!
Want to get on the waitlist for the next round of my group coaching program? Sign up here.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Jun 17, 2022
While You Are Waiting (On Him) | Ep #92
In the aftermath of infidelity, there can be a period where you wait and watch.
Sometimes there is waiting to see how much initiative our partners take, and sometimes we are just waiting to feel calmer before we make big decisions.
Either way, there are things you can do to help settle your mind during this space.
In this episode, you’ll learn four things you can do during this time to help keep your mind focused on why you are waiting and what you are waiting for.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Jun 3, 2022
Stories of Hope | Ep #91
Do you ever wonder if you can ever really truly move forward from the darkness you are feeling?
A question I get a lot is, “Can I really do this?” and “Will I ever feel normal again?”
Yes, my friend. I promise.
In this episode, you’ll hear the stories of four past clients of mine who have moved forward and are thriving. Some stayed in the marriage, some did not. But all are happy and doing well.
There is hope, and they all did some things that ensured that they were moving forward from the strongest place. Listen to this week’s episode to learn what those things are.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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May 27, 2022
The Comparison Trap | Ep #90
One thing I hear all the time from my clients is that they struggle with comparing themselves to their spouse's affair partner. It can get to the point where they can’t be in public with their spouse because they worry so much about what the spouse may be thinking about other women they see. It can be crippling.
In this episode, you’ll learn why we compare, and how you can help yourself navigate it. Even though comparing is a very natural thing to do, you’ll come away with tips to help yourself when you find your mind wandering.
Comparing is normal. We all do it. But it does not have to be destructive or take over your mind. Don’t miss this episode to learn how to reign in those wandering thoughts that lead nowhere helpful.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcas…
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May 20, 2022
The “Polite” Marriage | Ep #89
Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, “They look so happy and in love,” only to find out that they had major problems and were going through divorce?
It is likely that couple was engaged in a “polite” marriage. They may check all the boxes and genuinely look very happy together. They may show each other public affection and seem fond of each other. But there are likely issues underneath.
In this episode I go through two different kinds of “polite” marriages and share the differences between the two, and what each one can lead to.
Then I teach the opposite of the polite marriage and what richness and happiness can ensue when courageous people move beyond what feels comfortable and safe.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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May 13, 2022
Am I Settling? | Ep #88
Do you wonder if you are settling in your relationship? Do you feel shame and guilt when you think about it?
In this episode, I clear up what it means to settle and help you drop any negative feelings around the idea.
In real examples, you’ll be able to recognize if you have some things to shake up or if your job is to just keep going exactly as you are and keep trusting the process.
Rather than looking for outward signs of settling, you’ll learn what it feels like inside of you, and how to fix any inward signs of settling.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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May 6, 2022
Lying and Mind Masking | Ep #87
Do you ever cover up how you feel and what you are thinking? This is called mind masking, and we all do it. In this episode, we’ll dive in to why we all lie, either my commission or omission. But some lies can be more blatant, deliberate and harmful than others.
As deceit is a part of infidelity, understanding it is important. You’ll also learn areas you may not be being completely honest in.
Lastly, you’ll learn how to spot lying and what to do about it.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Apr 29, 2022
Receiving Love | Ep #86
For many of us it is easy to give, but harder to receive. Why is this?
In this week’s episode you’ll get an inside look into your brain and why you resist love and other good things. Hint: It is because of your thoughts about you, thoughts about others, or beliefs of how the world works.
Want to know how to become more open to love? And how it is hurting you not to be open to it? Make sure to give this episode a listen.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Apr 22, 2022
Reclaiming Your Life After Loss with Ashlee Boyson | Ep #85
In this episode, I interview special guest Ashlee Boyson.
Ashlee Boyson is the author of the blog and book series titled “The Moments We Stand,” in which she shares her family's journey of healing after the infidelity and murder of her husband Emmett in 2011, just months after giving birth to their fifth baby.
Ashlee has been given the unique experience of sharing Emmett’s story on Dateline, Dr. Phil, American Monster, Investigation Discovery, True Crime Daily, and several other murder mystery investigation documentaries.
After feeling alone for many years and fighting to find her voice through the pain, Ashlee now proudly stands as an advocate for victims and families impacted by loss, grief, widowhood, murder, and infidelity. In an effort to help others not feel alone, she has grown to love sharing her story to help shine light on a path for others still stuck in the dark … a place she knows all too well.
Ashlee is the founder of A Reason to Stand -— a nonprofit foc…
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Apr 15, 2022
The Messy Middle | Ep #84
Do you ever get frustrated that you are not further along than you think you should be? Do you have moments where you feel like you are back at square one?
While this is all normal, in this episode I will teach you about “the messy middle,” the space between where you are and where you are going. This space can feel very uncomfortable, frustrating, and like you are taking a step backwards.
Listen to understand the crucial steps to moving from the messy middle to the other side where you are healed, happy and feeling like yourself again.
Know in 90 Information Link
https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Apr 8, 2022
Runaway Thoughts | Ep #83
Do you have thoughts that you can’t seem to keep at bay? You are just going about your day, and something comes to mind that you can’t stop thinking about? Then you need to go ask, or go look at phones, emails and messages on a frantic search for answers. Sound familiar?
Although this is very common, it can be a setback to healing and moving forward. In this episode you will learn the difference between helpful things to watch out for and ones that will lead you nowhere. You will also know what to do with runaway thoughts so you can stay in a peaceful place more of the time.
Know in 90 Information Link
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Apr 1, 2022
Mental Strength | Ep #82
As common as hearing about mental strength may be, we don’t often hear about it in reference to infidelity. We talk a lot about feelings, healing, forgiveness, and moving on. But where does mental strength come in?
Developing mental toughness is everything when it comes to infidelity. When we get hurt, our brains want to keep us safe from future pain by giving us all the warnings of any real or perceived danger. After experiencing infidelity, it can become difficult to get out of thought loops that play over and over and get you nowhere.
By developing mental strength, you identify what your personal pitfalls are, how to get out of them, how to avoid them, and how to truly move forward with your life.
Listen to this episode to do a check-in with yourself as to how mentally tough you are and locate the areas that can use some more reps. Growing this muscle is what will help you most in truly creating an amazing life post infidelity.
Please click the button to subscribe so you d…
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Mar 25, 2022
Developing Friendships After Infidelity with Jewel Hohman | Ep #81
In the aftermath of infidelity, relationships often change. While there are many reasons for this, it can be painful and lonely. We are all wired for connection - we seek and crave it, yet it can seem harder than ever to make solid friendships.
In this episode, I interview guest Jewel Hohman about the importance of friendship and some practical ways of developing new relationships that last.
Jewel Hohman is a friendship expert and a professionally certified coach. She helps people stop overthinking their relationships and feel confident being themselves, so that they can create the deep friendships they have been craving. Jewel is on a mission to end the loneliness epidemic by having people take back their fundamental needs of connection and community.
Links to Jewel's info:
https://www.instagram.com/jewel.hohman/
https://www.jewelhohman.com
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Th…
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Mar 18, 2022
Self-confronting | Ep #80
It is human nature to see faults in others, and much more difficult to see it in ourselves.
In this episode, I’ll teach you why self-confrontation is an essential ingredient to growth, intimacy and healing. We can ask others to tell us what we want to hear, but it does not promote real growth.
Self-confrontation allows us to see ourselves as we really are rather than what we want to see. Even though it can be painful, it allows us to expand into fuller, more mature versions of ourselves.
Listen to hear real examples of self-confronting. Hint - it is very different than self-punishing and can be kind and loving as you’ll hear in the examples in this episode.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Mar 11, 2022
Self-soothing | Ep #79
To show up as our best selves in any relationship, we must know how to calm ourselves down when emotions become overwhelming. Many of us have been taught that it is the responsibility of our partner to help calm us when in reality, it is our own.
In this episode, we’ll go in deep as to why learning how to self-soothe ultimately is the greatest gift you can give yourself as you navigate infidelity or any other challenge. When we don’t give someone else responsibility for how we feel, we get to decide how to feel, know how to take care of ourselves, and how to deal with the discomfort of personal growth.
Listen to understand areas where you can increase your ability to self-soothe and why it matters so much.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Gi…
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Mar 4, 2022
High Desire/ Low Desire | Ep #78
In every relationship there will be issues that one of you will care more about than the other. This is normal. Where we get ourselves in trouble is when we get into marital gridlock and stay in it.
In this episode, I will cover various ways high desire/ low desire shows up in marriage and other relationships and why we respond the way we do to our loved ones. When we understand our reactions better, we are better able to decide how we want to show up and stand up for the things that matter to us, even if we are misunderstood.
Showing up in the way shown in this episode will help move things forward- either together or apart. Be sure to listen to see areas you are stalling out in and how you can keep yourself moving and invite those around you to do the same.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at ht…
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Feb 25, 2022
Holding Onto Yourself | Ep #77
Do you have moments (or days, or weeks) where you feel small, invisible and not at all like “yourself?” As flawed humans, it can be very easy to lose ourselves when faced with conflict yet learning the art of holding onto ourselves is what will help us move forward the most.
In this episode, you’ll learn what it means to hold on to yourself and why this is a game-changer for healing relationships. Instead of deferring to your spouse to let you know who you are and if you are okay, you’ll learn how to validate and strengthen yourself.
Whether you are single or married, this is a vital skill to learn (and one that takes a lifetime of practice). Taking steps toward holding on to yourself will give you peace, clarity and forward motion now, whether he is coming with you or not.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please…
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Feb 18, 2022
Sliding Door Moments | Ep #76
Every relationship has moments in time that make all the difference in which way the relationship goes. We either show up for ourselves or we don’t. We show up for our spouse or we don’t, and the consequences can be monumental.
In this episode, you’ll learn about “Sliding Door Moments” and how these small snippets in time often determine the direction of our lives. Once we can identify what those moments are (the ones where we self-betray and the ones where either we don’t show up the way we want to or our spouse does not show up for us), we can see what we have made those moments mean. Even more importantly, we can clearly see how those moments have shaped where our current relationships stand.
Only then can we course-correct, communicate more clearly and create the lives we want. Listen to this week’s episode to go deep into what your sliding door moments are and how you can heal them.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a…
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Feb 11, 2022
How to Know You Are Healing | Ep #75
On the healing journey following infidelity, it can feel like you are not making any progress at all. It can be discouraging, overwhelming and downright depressing at times. So how do you know if you are progressing?
Unlike other goals we make like losing pounds, earning a certain amount of money, etc. the healing process is less straight-forward to measure. In this episode, you’ll learn 3 ways to check in with yourself and measure your growth. You’ll be able to identify areas where you have grown, and areas where you may want to focus more attention.
When we have a clear path forward, we begin to see that we can have a life we want to participate in again. We can see that we are coming out from the heaviness we have experienced and opening up to new possibilities.
Listen to this week’s episode to gauge where you are, and what your next step forward is.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has…
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Jan 7, 2022
January Announcement
Be sure to listen to this announcement as Andrea will be sharing some upcoming changes that will interrupt the show temporarily.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2022 Andrea Giles
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Dec 31, 2021
Trust After Betrayal with Melissa Snow | Ep #74
In this episode, Andrea is a guest on the “Love Starts Here” podcast with life coach Melissa Snow.
This episode covers the tough topics of how to trust again and whether or not it is a wise decision to do so, and the importance of building up trust in yourself first before deciding to trust someone else.
We also discuss Andrea’s #1 tip for how to decide to stay or leave so you can make that decision without second guessing yourself.
Melissa Snow is a Certified Life Coach who helps women improve their relationships, starting with the one they have with themselves. She is passionate about helping women learn to love and value themselves, so they don’t have to rely on men to show them their worth. She hosts the Love Starts Here podcast, is an international speaker and is the author of “Ten Secrets to Having the Love You Want.”
Find Melissa at:
https://lovestartsherecoach.com/
www.lovestartsherepodcast.com
https://www.facebook.com/groups/lovestartshere
https://www.insta…
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Dec 24, 2021
Co-Parenting with Mikki Gardner | Ep #73
In this episode, Andrea is interviewed by Life Coach Mikki Gardner about how to put emotion aside and show up as the kind of parent you want to be after infidelity. This will be useful wherever you are on your journey.
When emotions are running high, it can be very difficult to think clearly, especially when it comes to parenting our children. You want what is best for them, but we also may be in “survival mode,” not really seeing the big picture.
This episode will help you navigate the rocky terrain of co-parenting when emotions are high and help you make decisions that you will be proud of.
Listen to the three points Andrea shares that serve as powerful reminders of what is possible for you.
Mikki is the host of the Co-Parenting with Confidence Podcast and has a private one-on-one coaching practice, where she helps moms ditch the conflict and frustration of divorce and become a strong, loving, confident co-parent.
Find more about Mikki Gardner at https://mikkigardner.com/
P…
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Dec 17, 2021
Gratitude, Pain and a Baby | Ep #72
A few themes of this podcast are that we always have choices even when we feel we don’t, that the hardships we experience can catapult us towards our greatest growth, and that we can create the future we want. In this episode, Andrea gets personal with her recent experience of welcoming a new baby girl into the world and how it has enforced in her mind that things are always working in our favor.
As difficult as infidelity and betrayal can feel, Andrea reminds her listeners that they have a bright, fulfilling future in front of them. Listen to the 3 points Andrea shares that serve as powerful reminders of what is possible for you.
Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Dec 10, 2021
Untangling with Aimeé Gianni | Ep #71
Does your relationship ever feel so tangled up with your spouse that you don’t know what thoughts and feelings are his and which are yours? In this episode, I interview guest therapist and Master coach Aimeé Gianni about what untangling is, how to spot it, and how to untangle.
Most of us were raised to believe that we are responsible for the feelings of others. “Did you hurt their feelings?” is a question we were probably all asked. The problem this creates is that we can end up spending much more time trying to manage others’ feelings and forget all about our own.
When healing from infidelity, it is crucial to do the work of untangling. It is an exercise in self-trust that allows for letting go of things that are not yours to take responsibility for, while learning to listen to your own thoughts and feelings at a deeper level.
Aimée Gianni, MS, is a Marriage & Family Therapist, and a Master Coach Instructor specializing in Relationships & Health and the connection between…
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Dec 3, 2021
Wisdom from the One Who Strayed with Elisa Fucci | Ep #70
Have you wondered why your spouse strayed and if your marriage can ever be good again? You don’t want to miss this episode.
Show guest Elisa Fucci shares, with transparency and honesty, her experience with infidelity and how her marriage is now better than it ever was before. She shares why she strayed and how she had to go through the difficult work of understanding herself and why she was prone to getting attention outside the marriage.
For those of you who want to stay, but wonder if it’s possible to really feel happy in your marriage, this one is for you. Yes, trust can be re-built. Yes, marriages can thrive after infidelity, even if the marriage was never great to begin with. Listen to this episode to learn what it takes to get there.
More from Elisa:
Email - Elisafucci.coaching@gmail.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/elisa_fucci_/
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at…
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Nov 26, 2021
Differentiation | Ep #69
What kind of home did you grow up in? Were you allowed to speak your mind, be your own person and choose how you wanted to spend your time? How you related to your family as a child largely affects what kind of adult relationships you have.
In this episode, I’ll be talking about a concept called differentiation which is all about our ability to keep hold of our own thoughts and feelings around those we care about without getting sucked into their thoughts and feelings and making them our own.
You’ll hear many examples of what high-level and low-level differentiation homes look like, which will help you gain a deeper awareness of your own patterns in relating to others. This will also help you understand your own unique response to infidelity and why certain parts of it are harder or easier for you than for others.
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/…
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Nov 19, 2021
Effective Communication | Ep #68
Clear, open communication can be a hard skill to learn for anyone, but can be especially difficult for someone who has felt betrayed by their spouse. Yet it is a vital skill to learn, regardless of if you choose to stay married or not.
In this episode, we’ll go into detail about why it can feel so unsafe to communicate with your partner, and how to help yourself feel safer. We’ll also discuss ways to enter the conversation, and when to shut it down.
You’ll learn how to be a better advocate for yourself in any relationship, but especially in the one with your partner/spouse/ex-spouse. There is no downside to learning this skill, and this episode will help you grow in your ability to communicate effectively.
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Nov 12, 2021
Accountability and Responsibility | Ep #67
How do we know if our spouse is taking responsibility for their infidelity? How do we know if we are really moving forward or just doing the same things we have always done? How long do we wait for something to happen before we make something happen ourselves?
These are questions I hear a lot, and ones that are important to answer. Part of re-building trust after infidelity is knowing that our partner is not only being transparent with the facts, but also holding themselves accountable for the choices they made.
Another big piece in moving forward is understanding where we are taking too much responsibility upon ourselves for the actions of others, and where we are not holding ourselves accountable for our own growth.
In this episode, you’ll learn the difference between taking responsibility and passing it off to someone else, and specific markers to look for in evaluating the progress of your partner. You’ll also be able to see in yourself where you are passing off responsibili…
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Nov 5, 2021
Avoiding Mistakes | Ep #66
What if making mistakes is not a problem? What if the real problem is what we make those mistakes mean, or what others make them mean that we then internalize?
In this episode, I’ll uncover a few of the reasons we are so afraid to make mistakes, and how we can build our own tolerance and resilience to the things we judge ourselves for. When we understand the difference between using mistakes as weapons to punish ourselves with and as tools to help us grow, we can open up to taking risks, speaking up, and letting others judge us without it completely derailing us.
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Oct 29, 2021
Why We Are Afraid to Want | Ep #65
In this episode, I’ll uncover why it feels safer to avoid wanting, and teach you what avoiding this question is costing you.
You’ll come away with some strategies to use to tap into your own desires and wants, along with a strong reason “why” for pursuing the answer to that question.
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Oct 22, 2021
Dating After Divorce with Sade Curry | Ep #64
Although many of my clients choose to stay with their spouses after infidelity, many decide to leave their marriages. Over time, some of them decide they want to start dating again. There is much fear, trepidation, and often self-doubt that can surface.
In this episode, I am interviewed by fellow coach and dating after divorce expert, Sade Curry. I share my personal story of dating my current husband and some of the challenges I dealt with.
To be sure, dating can be an opportunity to see what areas need looking at for growth, and to understand yourself more fully.
Even if you have chosen to stay married, I share how I had to navigate trust issues even though I was dating someone who did not break my trust. Wherever you are in your infidelity journey, listen to understand some of the issues that I dealt with and how I overcame them. You may find we have a lot in common!
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
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Oct 15, 2021
Choices | Ep #63
When life as we know it is turned upside down, it becomes very easy to believe we are alone, powerless, and a victim to what has been handed us. While we have been the victim of the deception of another, we tend to forget that in all things, no matter what, we still have choices.
In this episode I will share through powerful analogies how we can use our own strength and wisdom to harness the power of the brain. When we learn how to manage our own brain, we take control back in our lives and intentionally create the life we want.
Knowing what our choices are and that we can powerfully own the choices we make is key to healing and moving forward from infidelity. Ultimately our choices are what set us free. Listen to understand how this is true, and what choices you can make for yourself today.
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Oct 8, 2021
Love or Attachment? | Ep #62
Is it love or attachment? Many of my clients want to stay in their relationships because they can’t imagine life without the other. Or their spouse says they want to stay married but my clients don’t feel safe or loved by their spouse. This can lead to a lot of confusion for everyone involved.
If you wonder if you are truly in love with your spouse or just the idea of him, this episode is for you. Or if you wonder if your spouse is attached to the idea of you or of being married, but may not necessarily love you, don’t miss this episode.
You’ll hear real examples of partnerships where both elements are present, and gain some awareness on where your relationship stands, as well as how to proceed.
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Oct 1, 2021
What About the Kids? | Ep #61
As parents, we naturally want to protect our children from hurt and pain. We want them to be happy and thriving, right? So when we are trying to make decisions like if we should stay married or not, or feel the pain of sending them to another parent’s home, or deciding how much information to share with them, it can feel very uncomfortable.
In this episode, I will shed some light on new ways to think about your children. You’ll hear client experiences, my own experience, and some perspectives that you may not have considered before.
What if the goal is not actually for our kids to be happy, but something much more meaningful? What if allowing them their experiences, even the really hard ones, will help equip them for a fulfilling life where they know how to bounce back?
Listen to this week’s episode to challenge your own beliefs about what your kids “should” or “shouldn’t" experience. You just may feel some relief.
Please click the like button above and leave a review…
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Sep 24, 2021
How to Ask Good Questions | Ep #60
Do you know how to question your own brain? Do you challenge your own thoughts? Some of us are pros at challenging others’ beliefs but struggle to challenge our own.
Learning to ask your own brain good questions is a skill that will serve you for the rest of your life. Rather than taking your thoughts at face value, a good question encourages digging deeper. This is where the truth comes out about what we are making things mean and how we are holding ourselves back.
We can only change the narrative in our brain when we know what is there in the first place. Asking good questions will help you get to know yourself on a deep level, and give such great awareness that you will be able to change your thoughts to create what you want on purpose.
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Sep 17, 2021
Grief | Ep #59
Grief. It’s an emotion we all experience as part of life. If we form attachments to anything, we risk feeling grief if we lose the thing we are attached to.
Regardless if you choose to stay married or not following infidelity, grief is something that has to be processed to be able to move forward with life.
In this episode, you’ll learn various stages you may be in with grief, what to look out for, and how to move forward. You’ll learn how grief can pretend to be other emotions, and why we often avoid stepping fully into grief.
You’ll also learn about PTSD surrounding infidelity and how to know if you may need additional help to heal.
Grief is as common as breathing, yet we can be so afraid of it. Learn to drop the fear, step fully into grief, and come out the other side ready for all the good that is in store for you.
Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com…
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Sep 10, 2021
Self-compassion | Ep #58
Are you good at showing compassion to others? How do you feel when someone else is suffering? For many of us, compassion for others comes naturally. But when it comes to self-compassion, it can be much harder. Why is this?
In this episode you’ll gain an understanding about why self-compassion can feel scary and threatening. When we really understand something, it becomes easier to see our own behaviors and learn how to navigate our own painful experiences and emotions.
Self-compassion can be difficult to develop, but is key to creating space within yourself to heal. Just as we would allow others their own feelings and struggles without judgement, when we can do the same for ourselves, true healing begins. We stop judging, expecting perfection, and just allow ourselves to be in the moment we are in.
Don’t miss this episode as you’ll learn three powerful questions to ask yourself when you are stuck in self-judgement. These questions can open you up to compassion, and ultimately…
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Sep 3, 2021
Wants and Needs | Ep #57
Most of us have been taught that we should decide what we want and need out of relationships, communicate those things to our partners, and expect them to come through for us. Unfortunately, this sets us up for a whole lot of disappointment.
In this episode, I’ll be going over the difference between wants and needs, and how to get those met. Instead of waiting for someone to take care of us, you’ll learn how to advocate for what you want without handing that responsibility over to someone else (and often feeling let down).
You’ll also learn how to tell the difference between wants that will encourage personal growth, and those that are born of insecurity and scarcity.
Knowing what you want and taking full responsibility encourages individual development, while letting those around you see who you really are.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https:…
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Aug 27, 2021
Closure | Ep #56
Something I often hear from clients is that they just want closure. They want to hear the apology. Know why it happened. Be free from all of it so they can move forward. Sounds good, right?
We all want certainty, and we believe it would feel good to wrap up this messy, difficult time in our lives with a bow and put it behind us forever, whether we stay married or not.
The problem with this is we often give the responsibility of this to someone else, thinking that if they just acknowledge our feelings, or say they are sorry, then we would get to feel better.
But what if that apology never comes? What if what they say doesn’t actually make us feel better?
Listen to this episode to learn how to give yourself closure. It is much more empowering to give yourself closure, to decide for yourself what happened, and determine what you want to take with you and leave behind.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app h…
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Aug 20, 2021
The Cost of Indecision | Ep #55
Can you think of a decision you are putting off? Most of us aren’t very good at making decisions. We get in our own way by second-guessing ourselves, doubting our ability to decide, and worry about getting it wrong.
In this episode we’ll be diving in to why we drag out decision making, and look at how much it is costing you to put it off. There are many seemingly good reasons we put decisions off, but it always comes at a price to ourselves.
You’ll also learn about how to make decisions quickly, and how to support yourself after the decision has been made so you can move forward.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Aug 13, 2021
Influence vs. Control | Ep #54
We all like to know how things will turn out. Our brains crave certainty, and because of this we often believe that if we can control things, we can dictate how they will turn out. But there is a better way, especially when it comes to trying to control other people.
We can influence others by how we show up around them, and it is far more powerful (and likely to get us the results we actually want) than trying to control them.
In this episode, we’ll talk about the difference (sometimes subtle) between control and influence, and how to tell how you are showing up for those around you. You’ll understand why influence is so much more powerful than control, and how you can become a more influential person in all of your relationships.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Aug 6, 2021
Understanding Infidelity with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife | Ep #53
This week I am joined by Jennifer Finlayson-Fife to discuss the intricacies of infidelity. There are many misconceptions surrounding infidelity, and those misconceptions can keep you stuck. In this episode, we take a closer look at how infidelity can be the catalyst for growth in both parties, why people engage in infidelity, and how to recover from it.
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality coach as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois. She has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. Her teaching and coaching focus on helping LDS individuals and couples achieve greater satisfaction and passion in their emotional and sexual relationships.
In addition to consultation with couples and individuals (in-person and online), she teaches online relationship and sexuality courses designed to foster self and sexual development and create happier relationships and individuals. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also offers many live workshops and retre…
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Jul 30, 2021
When to Leave a Marriage | Ep #52
In this episode, I share my thoughts on when it may be time to consider ending a marriage. Although in truth we can leave a marriage whenever we want, there are a few specific questions to evaluate within yourself and your spouse that will ultimately serve you in the future after the decision is made.
While divorce can be a very hard thing to consider, let alone go through with, if one leaves for reasons they feel solid about, it sets them up for healing and a positive outcome on the other side of divorce.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jul 24, 2021
Knowing Yourself | Ep #51
Do you know who you are? When is the last time you answered that question? Most of us go through life thinking that who we are is what others define us to be.
Knowing ourselves is the most important work we will ever do. The more we learn who we are, both strengths and weaknesses, the more we are able to accept all of us and challenge ourselves to grow. This in turn allows us to show up in relationships the way we want to, not the way we feel pressured to or expected to.
Listen to this episode to learn more about why it is crucial to know yourself, and how to get to know yourself better.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jul 16, 2021
Finding Safety in Your Body with Sariah Bastian | Ep #50
Most of us don’t know how to feel. We find all kinds of creative ways to block our emotions, mostly because we weren’t taught how to feel, or were shut down when we did express a feeling.
In this episode, guest Sariah Bastian will share her story of going from years of unhealthy marriages and being cut off from herself to becoming an expert in finding safety inside her own body.
Sariah is a betrayal trauma expert, as well as a master yoga instructor. With over 15,000 hours of instruction helping women heal, she has learned many important truths about healing that she will share in this episode. Don’t miss it!
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jul 9, 2021
Attachment Theory | Ep #49
We all deal with problems in different ways, but attachment theory can shed some light on why you do the things you do, and why infidelity has affected you in the way that it has.
In this episode, you’ll learn what attachment theory is and the three different types of attachment. You’ll also learn how to develop into the kind of attachment that will help you show up in your intimate relationships the way you want to and that will have the most impact.
Most of all, you’ll learn how to have compassion for where you are, and an understanding of how you can help yourself feel more secure and safely attached.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jul 2, 2021
Abundance vs Scarcity | Ep #48
If you listen to podcasts and read self-help books, you have probably heard the terms “abundance mindset” and “scarcity mindset.” However, in this episode I will be talking about each of those things and how they pertain to you and your life.
There are four areas where we experience abundance and scarcity (time, money, relationships and health). When we learn how to experience abundance in one area, it often trickles to the others. It is a way of being and thinking.
When you understand what kind of mindset you are coming from and what you can do about it, suddenly possibilities open up to you that you thought were just for other people. You learn to create the life you want rather than “taking what you can get.”
Listen to this episode to gauge where your mind is, how to identify if you are in abundance or scarcity, and how to create more abundance into your life.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcas…
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Jun 25, 2021
Navigating Changing Relationships | Ep #47
To truly move forward from infidelity, internal changes need to be made. When we change on the inside, it becomes impossible to be the same as we were on the outside. It is very possible that our changes become uncomfortable for others to be around, which can make us second guess ourselves and our growth.
In this episode, you’ll hear about 3 different clients and how I helped them navigate the changes they experienced in their families, whether they chose to stay married or not.
Understanding how our own changes can be uncomfortable for others helps us grow our own tolerance for their discomfort. We stop trying to make others feel better at our own expense. We understand that it is ok for them to be wrong about us, and let go of the painful assumptions we may be carrying about what others think.
Allowing for changes in relationships is part of moving forward. Listen to learn how to navigate those changes with more grace, compassion for self and others, and resolve to let others se…
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Jun 18, 2021
The Gift of Pain | Ep #46
Most of us don't look forward to pain. We often resist it, run away from it, or go into painful experiences with dread and fear. In this episode, I’ll shed some light on how our most painful moments can become the most useful, and even sacred experiences we draw from.
Whether it is emotional or physical pain, we can use the power of our minds to not only help us manage our pain, but to make it a powerful experience for us.
Although pain is a part of the human condition, seeing it through the lens of something useful and resilience-building can make it almost sweet. Listen to understand how you can use your current pain to serve you in your life.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jun 11, 2021
Letting Go of the “How” | Ep #45
As humans, we love certainty. We want to know all the details of exactly how things are going to transpire. Because we are not always privy to that information, we tend to talk ourselves out of goals, desires and dreams.
What if the “how” is none of our business? Are you willing to release yourself from needing to know all the details?
In this episode, you’ll learn why letting go of the how will open you up to the magic that happens when we decide we want something and go for it. You’ll learn 3 concrete steps that will give you strength and courage to run towards the things you want, even if you don’t know how you’ll get there. Needing to know how is just a stumbling block, keeping you from the life you want most.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jun 4, 2021
Your Future Self | Ep #44
It makes perfect sense that our brains scan for things we know. But it can be very misleading. All the best things are in front of us. When we look to the past, we miss out on the opportunity to create the life we want. We have so much capacity to grow, to become, to create. But if we don’t know how to envision it and go after it, we fall back into old patterns.
In this episode, I will teach you how to tap into possibility. Every human has unlimited potential that can not be quantified, measured, or capped out. Listen to understand how to tune into yourself and where you are meant to go.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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May 28, 2021
Regret | Ep #43
Regret is an emotion that we all feel, but that we will do almost anything to avoid. The fear of regret can keep us stalled out, not taking the actions that will create the life we want.
In this episode, you’ll learn why you don’t need to be afraid of regret. You’ll understand how regret can be both useful and harmful, and how to leverage it for your good. When we stop fearing emotions, we are willing to take bold actions, knowing that we will be able to handle whatever comes.
If you want to move forward in your life without fear of regret, or want to learn how to let go of past regrets, be sure to listen to this episode.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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May 21, 2021
Self-Esteem | Ep #42
Who are you? What do you think of yourself? When is the last time you really asked yourself those questions? Where do you go for the answers? Your own thoughts or what you think others believe of you?
Most of us look outside ourselves to determine our self-esteem and self worth. It then becomes a moving target - as long as people tell us what we want to hear we’re ok, but when they stop, then what?
In this episode, you’ll learn some concrete practices and exercises that will help you develop your own sense of self. There is nothing more important to work on than this as what we believe about ourselves sets the stage for everything we allow and don’t allow in our lives. Don’t miss this episode!
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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May 14, 2021
What I Know | Ep #41
When life throws us unexpected trials and curve balls, it can be easy to slip into doubt and fear. We can forget the hard-won lessons we have learned, become overwhelmed and lose sight of who we are and where we are going.
In this episode, I’ll share five things that I know for sure. These five things have helped me throughout my life to navigate those times where everything seems upside-down. My five truths have reminded me what matters, and encouraged me to keep going, no matter how desperate I may feel in the moment.
My hope is that my five truths will help you remember the things you know for sure. Those things can become the anchors that you live by - your constants that never fail you.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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May 7, 2021
Victim Mentality | Ep #40
Do you ever cringe when you hear that someone is being “such a victim”? We often carry such harsh judgement around this way of being, although most of us slip into it throughout our lives.
In this episode, I’ll explain what victim mentality really is and all the various ways it shows up. It can be sneaky and seem very justified, but in letting it stick around can cause all kinds of unnecessary pain and suffering.
While many of us have been victimized at some point in our lives, we can use the feelings we experienced then to re-create suffering now. It pretends to be useful and true, but is hurting you more than anyone.
Tune in to see if you sometimes experience victim mentality, and learn how you can get yourself back to the powerful person you are.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Apr 30, 2021
Values | Ep #39
Do you know what your values are or why they matter? We often hear of companies having values but skim over the importance of knowing and living by our own.
In this episode, we’re going to dive in to what values are and how they can help guide decisions, know what to say yes and no to, and set parameters around where you will let your mind wander to.
Knowing your values is crucial as you create a future you love. It becomes bigger than you - you are part of a vision. Listen, to understand how to identify what your values are and how they can help you move forward from infidelity.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Apr 23, 2021
Clean Pain, Dirty Pain | Ep #38
Pain is a natural part of life. We all experience loss, grief, and transitions. Suffering, however, is optional. In this episode you’ll learn the difference between the natural pain that comes with life events, and suffering that comes from our thoughts about those events.
A great predictor of the experience of one’s life is how well they learn to manage their mind around their circumstances. The more the mind is kept in check, the more peaceful life will be.
In this episode, you’ll have an understanding of what kinds of suffering we cause ourselves, why we do it, and how to clean up your thinking to have a more peaceful experience with life.
I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Apr 16, 2021
Boundaries | Ep #37
Boundaries are often misunderstood. Many view them as a means to control another person, a way to gain power over someone, or as something that will hurt the relationship. The truth is that a properly set boundary invites intimacy and trust.
In this episode, I will be clearing up exactly what a boundary is, and what it isn’t. You will understand:
* How clear boundaries strengthen relationships
* How to set them from a place of love
* What the most important piece of boundary setting is
* Why boundary-setting is a form of self-respect
You’ll come away from this episode empowered with the ability to more clearly see boundaries that need to be strengthened, and how you can step into a more honest version of yourself by honoring those boundaries.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Apr 9, 2021
Forgiveness | Ep #36
Forgiveness can be a touchy subject. Why should we forgive someone who has caused us so much pain? I get it. In this episode, I’ll shed some light on how forgiveness is not actually for them- it is for you.
I’ll go over what forgiveness is, and what it isn’t. Some of the ideas people believe about forgiveness are faulty and create additional pain. We’ll uncover those and learn what forgiveness really is about and why it’s such a gift to give ourselves.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Apr 2, 2021
Thriving After Infidelity | Ep #35
Marriages can survive infidelity. But can the couple really thrive? This is a question I get asked a lot, and in this episode you’ll understand why the answer is a resounding YES!
Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity requires some specific tools and mindset shifts. It requires resiliency, curiosity, and a determination to change the narrative surrounding the infidelity.
In this episode, you’ll learn what these tools and skills are, and how to implement them. You’ll be able to identify what areas you are stuck in and concrete solutions to truly moving forward and building a marriage that is stronger and more intimate than what you had before.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Mar 26, 2021
Pornography and Trust with Lindsay and Danny Poelman | Ep #34
Pornography in marriages can feel threatening, shameful and impossible to overcome. In today’s episode, guests Lindsay and Danny Poelman share their story of overcoming the grip of pornography and creating a marriage much stronger than the one they had before.
For so many, porn use can feel crippling. Many men (and women) feel intense shame around porn use which ultimately keeps them stuck. In this episode, you’ll learn how changing the narrative around porn use and empowering the individual can transform a marriage.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Mar 19, 2021
Jealousy | Ep #33
Frequently called “the green-eyed monster,” jealousy is an emotion we don’t often want to admit experiencing. We judge ourselves for feeling it, as we wonder what is wrong with us, and wind up in all kinds of painful mind drama.
After experiencing infidelity, jealousy can feel like a constant companion. Those pesky intrusive thoughts that creep in? The images you see? The incessant thoughts about “the other woman”? These are all normal to experience after a betrayal, but are rooted in fear and doubt.
In this episode, you’ll learn how envy and jealousy are different emotions, with different fear meanings attached to them. When you understand the root cause of jealousy and envy, you’ll know how to help release yourself from their grip.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Mar 12, 2021
Buffering | Ep #32
Most of us have been conditioned our entire lives with the messaging that we should just be happy and filled with pleasure at all times. When we don’t feel happy all the time, we avoid the negative emotion by buffering from what is actually real.
In this episode, you’ll learn the real reasons why you buffer, and what it is costing you. When we buffer, we give ourselves a false sense of safety and security, but we are missing the opportunity to understand why we are buffering in the first place. We miss what the uncomfortable emotion is that we are avoiding, and why it keeps showing up.
Learning to stop buffering is where life becomes really good. You stop needing false pleasure because you know how to create it with your mind. You aren’t afraid to feel any emotion. You stop hiding from yourself and start creating the life you actually want.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Mar 5, 2021
Perfectionism | Ep #31
Perfection is a myth, yet so many of us think that we should be perfect to be acceptable and loveable. We can easily fall into being over-achievers or under-achievers, both as veils to hide our perceived insecurities and flaws.
This kind of thinking stifles our own development, and keeps us from developing real, vulnerable relationships with others where we allow ourselves to be seen. We may also block our own ability to really see others as they are.
In this episode, you’ll learn if you are a perfectionist (you may be surprised by some of the ways perfectionism rears its head!), how it is affecting you and your loved ones, and you'll be provided clear tools that will help you grow in your capacity to love yourself in your imperfections.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Feb 26, 2021
When You Feel Betrayed by God with David Butler | Ep #30
When life doesn’t go the way we thought it would, it can be easy to blame God. Sometimes in our darkest moments we can wonder if He abandoned us. In this episode, guest David Butler and I will be discussing ways to cope with this painful experience.
David Butler is a best-selling author, co-host of the acclaimed “Don’t Miss This” podcast, and educator. His unique view on God and scripture brings insight to this topic that will help listeners understand that they are not alone.
In this episode, you’ll gain a greater understanding of how transactional relationships can hurt us, how Jesus Christ is the perfect example in all things, and why we are sometimes left seemingly alone. You’ll know how to turn back to God, and heal the trust that has been lost.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Feb 19, 2021
All or Nothing Thinking | Ep #29
In this episode, I’ll be diving into why it is worth leaning into the “cognitive dissonance,” or the space in between black and white where things feel a little more fuzzy. It is in this space that we grow. We try on new ideas, understand others on a deeper level, and create a safe place for ourselves, even when we don’t have all the answers.
Even more importantly, when we can allow the discomfort of the gray area, healing takes place. If we can believe that someone who hurt us is both good and bad, it becomes possible to heal the relationship, and to give ourselves that same consideration.
Listen to gain a deeper understanding of where you may be stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, and what you can do to broaden your view.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Feb 12, 2021
Using Feelings As Fuel | Ep #28
Thoughts create our feelings, but feelings are the fuel that create our experience with life. When we learn to leverage the power of feelings, there is nothing you are unwilling to do, because you will be willing to feel any emotion in service of the result you want most.
In this episode, you will learn specific tools that will help you create the emotion that you want, and have an understanding of why both positive and negative emotions can be useful.
Everything you could ever want is on the other side of learning to use your emotions as fuel.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Feb 5, 2021
Discomfort Tolerance | Ep #27
When faced with an uncomfortable situation, our natural tendency is to get out as quickly as possible. Sometimes we physically or emotionally check out in an attempt to avoid pain. In today’s episode, you’ll learn why your greatest growth comes from increasing your tolerance to discomfort - not avoiding it altogether.
By paying attention to what we want most in life, our willingness to allow discomfort will grow. When there is an understanding that the discomfort is in service of your ultimate goal, we are more willing to lean into the growth.
The more we grow, the more bold we become in the conversations we are willing to have, and in the things we try. We go after our dreams. We allow ourselves to mess up. We give permission to others to mess up. We become the most honest versions of ourselves.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jan 29, 2021
Anchoring to What You Know | Ep #26
When faced with decisions, our brains automatically point out all the things we don’t know, all the reasons it won’t work, and why we should be afraid. In this podcast, you’ll learn why starting with what you do know will help you solve what you don’t.
For as long as humans have existed, our primal response to any kind of threat or danger is to get defensive, confused, and go looking for safety outside ourselves. Although this has kept us alive, it is outdated and does not ultimately help us create the kind of life we want on purpose.
In this episode, you’ll learn in more depth why your brain automatically takes you to negative thinking, and how to override it with thoughts and beliefs that help you move forward. Remembering what you know first helps bring the brain back to a grounded, calm place, and can serve as a filter for all of the fears and doubts that follow.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jan 22, 2021
Accepting What Is | Ep #25
When it comes to healing from infidelity, acceptance is key to moving forward. This does not mean agreeing with it, liking it or not being sad about it. Acceptance means acknowledging that it happened instead of arguing with it.
When I first start working with new clients, they generally switch back and forth between making themselves wrong for the infidelity, or making their spouse wrong. Both stories have the potential to bring up strong emotions, and they often use those emotions against themselves instead of processing them.
In this episode, you’ll learn the 3 stages of growth and how acceptance is a key ingredient to moving forward. You’ll learn what acceptance is, and what it isn’t. You’ll understand the freedom that emerges when we let our thoughts be just thoughts, and aren’t threatened by our own feelings. As we allow ourselves to just be, we create a safe place to feel, process, and ultimately create the life we really want.
More information at https://andreagile…
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Jan 15, 2021
Post Traumatic Growth with Krista St-Germain | Ep #24
If you’ve been listening to the podcast for awhile, you know how much I talk about the growth that can happen following a life-changing (and un-asked for) event. In this episode, I talk with my first podcast guest, Master Coach Krista St-Germain, all about post traumatic growth.
Krista is very familiar with grief, loss and having plans change. In this episode, she’ll share her own story of loss and how it propelled her into challenging her beliefs, leaning into future possibility, and ultimately helping others grow after loss.
If you’ve ever wondered how you can be even stronger after infidelity, this episode is for you. You’ll hear us talk about grief, loss, post traumatic growth, and how to manage regret. You’ll leave with new hope for what is possible in your life. You don’t want to miss it!
To learn more from Krista, you can check her out here:
* Website: www.coachingwithkrista.com/
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifecoachkrista/
* Facebook: https://ww…
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Jan 8, 2021
Allowing Yourself to Be Wrong | Ep #23
For most of us, being wrong feels like a threat. If we are wrong, what does it mean about us, our judgement, and our ability to make wise choices in the future? In this episode, you’ll learn why it’s actually good news that you could be wrong.
When we give ourselves permission to be wrong about our assumptions of ourselves and others, it makes space for other thoughts and emotions. We can get curious about new possibilities. We can challenge thoughts we’ve had about ourselves that feel factual but cause a lot of pain.
In this episode, you’ll hear various examples of how allowing yourself to be wrong can be the tool that helps you move forward. From thoughts about yourself, thoughts about others and what you are capable of achieving, you’ll learn how to talk to yourself in a way that allows for error and helps you change the narrative.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2021 Andrea Giles
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Jan 1, 2021
How to Set Goals | Ep #22
It’s the beginning of a New Year, and for many of us it means setting goals for 2021. Statistically, even the most well-intentioned goals often fizzle out and we end up feeling like we failed. Today, you’ll learn how to make goals that actually stick.
Most of us have been taught to go after goals that scare us, but our brains are naturally inclined to run from things that feel hard. That is why most people quit.
In this episode, you’ll learn exactly how to set goals that are both challenging and doable. Goals that keep you progressing, but also feel accomplishable. You’ll also understand why it can be very healing to work towards something that helps you get out of “survival mode” and start thriving.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Dec 18, 2020
Preparing for Hard Days | Ep #21
All of us have days when we may feel anxious anticipation, but sometimes those days can become more frequent after infidelity, divorce, or other life-changing events. This episode will dive into how to prepare for hard days.
Whether it is a custody situation, an anniversary, or being around people who may ask tough questions, it is possible to not let those events de-rail you.
Listen to understand how to best prepare for those days so you can set yourself up for success. You’ll know how to handle your emotions, how to be the best version of yourself, and how you can create the outcome in your mind before the day happens.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Dec 11, 2020
Learning to Trust, Part 2 | Ep #20
On last week’s podcast, you learned about the different kinds of trust and how to build trust in yourself. In this episode, you’ll learn some of the pitfalls to building trust and what you can do to create a more trusting environment for yourself and others.
You’ll learn how we can mis-read disappointment as a betrayal, and why it is important to learn to differentiate between the two. You’ll also understand the importance of cultivating an environment of trust in your relationships, whether you are staying married or not.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Dec 4, 2020
Learning to Trust | Ep #19
One of the most common questions after experiencing infidelity is, “Can I ever trust again?” In this episode, we’ll explore different kinds of trust and how to build the most important kind of trust, a trust in yourself.
When faced with infidelity, the foundation of trust can be broken, and it takes time to repair it. In this episode, you’ll learn how to make “temporary” fixes, and how to make more lasting, solid repairs that will lead to the most fulfilling relationships.
Learning to trust is a process that requires patience, but ultimately allows the betrayed partner to fully engage in the relationship, and learn to trust themselves, no matter what choices anyone else makes.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Nov 27, 2020
Journaling | Ep #18
You may have heard that journaling can be a healing process, but there are benefits you may never have thought about.
In addition to being a healing tool to our physical bodies, journaling is proven to be an emotional regulator and healer as well.
In this episode, I will share how impactful journaling has been for me, how to journal, and why I encourage you to make it a part of your daily practice.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Nov 20, 2020
What It Takes To Heal | Ep #17
Healing from infidelity can seem so overwhelming, undefined and unattainable. In this episode, I’ll share 6 things that help in the process of healing.
In a simple online search, you can find many varying opinions about how healing actually happens after infidelity. Can it actually be done?
Yes. Listen to understand why some traditional views on healing (such as the saying, “Time heals all wounds”) aren’t necessarily true if we don’t know what to be actively doing with that time. You’ll learn how valuable self-compassion is, and more tools to help you process your emotions as you move forward.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Nov 13, 2020
The 50/50 Rule | Ep #16
Do you ever wonder if you can just feel "good"? In this episode, you'll learn why we aren't programmed to feel good all the time, and why it's actually a positive thing.
Most of us spend our life feeling just a few main emotions, and wonder why we keep getting the same results. When you learn that life is best when we allow both the positive and the negative, doors open up that were once closed. There is literally nothing you won't do if you know you can handle any emotion.
Listen to understand how some of your emotions may be holding you back, how even negative emotions can serve you, and how to feel more of what you want.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Nov 6, 2020
Changing Your Past | Ep #15
If I were to ask you who you are, you would probably answer with some information from your past. Most of us go through life not really challenging our stories - we believe them as fact.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
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Oct 30, 2020
The Manual | Ep #14
Most of us have long, detailed “scripts” of how others should behave, and when they don’t, we get upset. We expect others to follow the script, even if they don’t know it exists. This is not only frustrating for the people in our lives, but very frustrating for ourselves because of what we make it mean that they didn’t do what we wanted them to do.
Listen to this podcast to understand the difference between making requests of others and having your own back whether they agree or not, and turning all of our emotional well-being over to others. You’ll understand the freedom that comes from actually allowing people to be who they are rather than who we want them to be so we can feel better about them and ourselves.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Oct 23, 2020
How To Have Difficult Conversations | Ep #13
Join me on this podcast to learn what keeps us from telling the hard truth in conversations, and why it is actually not only hurting you, but the relationship itself. How many times have you avoided a conversation because you know it may get tense and uncomfortable? In this podcast I’ll teach you why that tension is actually not a problem, and how allowing yourself to sit in that tension creates the space to problem solve and get what you actually, truly want.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Oct 16, 2020
People Pleasing | Ep #12
In this episode, I'll help you identify if you're a people pleaser, why you do it, how it is harming you, and what to do about it.
Many of us have false beliefs that we have to say yes to everything, make everyone happy, and not let anyone down, ever. This of course creates so much pressure. And in the end, is not only exhausting, but deep down we know we are letting ourselves down. We may believe that is it loving to pretend like we are okay with things when we actually aren't. If you have been people pleasing for so long that you don't even remember what your own voice sounds like, this is the episode for you!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Oct 9, 2020
Believing New Things | Ep #11
You've probably heard that what you think about matters, but the questions is- HOW do you actually change your own thoughts?
Maybe you have tried positive affirmations, read books about changing your thoughts and wondered why nothing has actually changed.
That is because the actual process of how to change the pathways in your brain are not readily explained.
Listen to find out the 3 steps to literally changing your mind. Once you understand how to use the power of your mind, there is nothing you can't have or do!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Oct 2, 2020
Creating Safety | Ep #10
Do you know what it's like to feel "triggered?" In this episode I'll talk about why we stay triggered, and how to create safety within ourselves to successfully move forward with our lives.
After experiencing a betrayal, our safety can feel compromised, causing us to feel perpetually "stuck" in a pattern of flight, fight or freeze. Although this pretends to keep us safe, it actually is keeping us from being able to move forward.
Listen to learn how to use science-backed tools to calm the brain, relax the body, and ultimately allow you to move forward with your life.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Sep 25, 2020
Divorce and the Stories We Tell | Ep #9
Many of us carry around painful stories about divorce and what it means about us to make that choice (or for someone else to choose it for us). Whether you are married or single, listen to uncover what stories you carry about divorce and how to let them go.
When I first got divorced, I was so embarrassed to say it out loud because I thought it meant "failure." Over time, I have changed my story and see it as success rather than failure.
In this episode you'll learn how I went from blaming him for the divorce to owning what was mine and letting the rest go - resulting in freedom from the shame, blame and guilt I felt.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Sep 18, 2020
Letting Go of the Outcome | Ep #8
When faced with tough decisions, it can be so hard to make a powerful choice because we so want to know how it will turn out. In this episode, I'll share my own experience with letting go of the outcome and how it changed the course of my life.
I'll share 3 examples of how doing what I felt was the best (albeit hard) decision opened the door for even better things in my life.
Listen if you are grappling with two decisions -- one that may feel a little easier because it gives a sense of security, and one that may feel like a free-fall.
You'll learn how stepping into that free-fall has the potential to change everything for you.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Sep 11, 2020
Your Plan B | Ep #7
Have you ever stayed in a situation you don't love because you're so afraid of what the alternative might be? In this podcast, I'll teach you why planning out Plan B actually sets you free.
If we don't really lean into the fear, pain, and discomfort of a new plan, we aren't fully choosing the one we are in.
Listen to learn how stretching your brain and making alternative plans is what brings peace and security to either choice you make.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Sep 4, 2020
Feeling Your Feelings | Ep #6
A crucial part to healing and moving forward is learning to acknowledge and process your own feelings. In this episode, you'll learn what to avoid, and how to allow yourself to feel your feelings.
Many of us have never learned how to allow our feelings, and have stuffed them down, hidden from them, and punished ourselves for having the feelings we have.
What if feelings are not a problem at all and actually allow you to experience life more fully? Tune in to learn how to allow feelings, and how to create the emotions that will move your life forward.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Aug 28, 2020
Wanting What You Want | Ep #5
Most of us have learned to talk ourselves out of what we want, or have grown so accustomed to paying attention to what everyone wants that we have no idea what we want. In this episode, you'll learn why what you want really, really matters.
Listen to find out why the things you want serve as guideposts along your journey of who you are becoming. You'll learn how your desires were put there on purpose to help guide you to who you are capable of being by leaning into them.
You'll hear examples of women who are on the journey of becoming their truest selves, and how trusting their desires and working towards them is crucial to their healing, growth, and learning to build trust with themselves and others again.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Aug 21, 2020
The Thought Model | Ep #4
You've heard that your thoughts matter, but maybe you don't quite know how your thoughts are affecting you, or how to change them. In this episode, you'll learn the science behind thoughts and how they are directly creating results in your life.
Even when life hands us circumstances that we struggle with, we still have so much more power than we know.
Tune in to learn how it's not the circumstance that is causing all the heartache, it's the way you are thinking about it. This is very good news because it means you don't have to wait around for someone else to do something different to feel better. You can take back your thoughts and create a different result for yourself. I'll show you how.
More information at https://andreagiles.com/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Aug 12, 2020
How to Make Decisions | Ep #3
One of the most common things I hear from my clients is that they don’t know what to do. This applies to not only the big questions, but the little ones as well.
In this episode, I’ll teach a 3-step plan to making decisions. Once you understand how, you can apply this process to any decision you need to make in your life (and we make a lot of them as humans!).
You’ll learn how indecision pretends to keep you safe, but is in reality holding you back from the life you want. Once you understand how to make and follow through with decisions, there is nothing you cannot do. Your dream life is waiting on the other side of becoming decisive. Listen to find out how.
If you find this podcast helpful, I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review (if your favorite podcast app has that ability)!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Aug 12, 2020
Why You’re Stuck | Ep #2
Do you ever wonder what is wrong with you? You’ve had your trust broken, yet you are left feeling terrible like it was somehow your fault. You know something has got to give, you build up your courage, but end up turning back into familiar patterns.
I have great news for you… you are normal. You are not broken. Your brain is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do, and in this episode I’ll explain why.
Once you understand why you behave the way you do, I’ll teach you how to take steps forward, away from what is familiar and into what you really want most.
If you find this podcast helpful, I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review (if your favorite podcast app has that ability)!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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Aug 12, 2020
My Story | Ep #1
Welcome to the show! In this first episode, I’ll be sharing who I am, why I am here, and how this podcast can help you. I, too, know first-hand the pain of having trust broken, my own little world turned upside-down, and the confusion of not knowing how to make it better. I have been where you are, and know how to help you heal from it.
This episode covers some of the things you can look forward to in this podcast - the exact tools and skills I learned that not only have changed my life, but have changed the lives of my clients as well.
If you find this podcast helpful, I'd really appreciate it if you would click the like button above and leave a review (if your favorite podcast app has that ability)!
More information at https://andreagiles.com/
© 2020 Andrea Giles
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