Episode 236: Mental Health within Couples & Coping with the Winter Blues
Play • 34 min

Hello, friends! In this Q&A, I tackle two interesting listener questions relating to couples who both go through dips in their mental wellness at the same time, and coping with the winter blues and what you can do to help yourself feel better!

Today's Sponsor is Word Forest, a fun and relaxing word finding game on the Apple and Google App stores.

If you have a question for the podcast, send it over to duffthepsych@gmail.com

Full show notes at http://duffthepsych.com/episode236

Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
David Burns, MD
230: Secrets of Self-Esteem—What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I’ve got it? And more, on Ask David!
* Ask David: Questions on self-esteem, recovery from PTSD, dating people with Borderline Personality Disorder, recovery on your own, and more! Jay asks: * Is psychotherapy homework still required if you’ve recovered completely from depression in a single, extended therapy session? * Is Ten Days to Self-Esteem better than the single chapter on this topic in Feeling Good? * Are people who were abused emotionally when growing up more likely to get involved with narcissistic or borderline individuals later in life because the relationship is “familiar?” * Many patients can read your books and do the exercises and recover on their own. Is a teacher or coach sometimes needed to speed things up? * Is it possible for a person to become happy WITHOUT needing anyone else if they have had depression in past and/or PTSD? * Also, how would Team-CBT address treating PTSD? PTSD can involve a person having multiple traumas. * * * * Is psychotherapy homework still required if you’ve recovered completely from depression in a single, extended therapy session? Thanks, Jay, I will make this an Ask david, if that is okay, but here is my quick response. Although many folks now show dramatic changes in a single, two-hour therapy session, they will still have to do homework to cement those gains, including: * Listening to or watching the recording of the session * Finish on paper any Daily Mood Log that was done primarily in role-playing during the session. In other words, write the Positive thoughts, rate the belief, and re-rate the belief in the corresponding negative thought. * Use the Daily Mood Log in the future whenever you get upset and start to have negative thoughts again. * I also do Relapse Prevention Training following the initial dramatic recovery, and this takes about 30 minutes. I advise the patient that relapse, which I define as one minute or more of feeling crappy, is 100% certain, and that no human being can be happy all the time. We all hit bumps in the road from time to time. When they do relapse, their original negative thoughts will return, and they will need to use the same technique again that worked for them the first time they recovered. In addition, they will have certain predictable thoughts when they relapse, like “this proves that the therapy didn’t rally work,” or “this shows that I really am a hopeless case,” or worthless, etc. I have them record a role-play challenging these thoughts with the Externalization of Voices, and do not discharge them until they can knock all these thoughts out of the park. I tell them to save the recording, and play it if they need it when they relapse. I also tell them that if they can’t handle the relapse, I’ll be glad to give them a tune up any time they need it. I rarely hear from them again, which is sad, actually, since I have developed a fondness for nearly all the patients I’ve ever treated. But I’d rather lose them quickly to recovery, than work with them endlessly because they’re not making progress! People with Relationship Problems recover more slowly than individuals with depression or anxiety for at least three reasons, and can rarely or never be treated effectively in a single two-hour session: * The outcome and process resistance to change in people with troubled relationships is typically way more intense. * It takes tremendous commitment and practice to get good at the five secrets of effective communication, in the same way that learning to play piano beautifully takes much commitment and practice. * Resolving relationship conflicts usually requires the death of the “self” or “ego,” and that can be painful. That’s why the Disarming Technique can be so hard for most people to learn, and many don’t even want to learn it, thinking that self-defense and arguing and fighting back is the best road to travel! * * * * Is Ten Days to Self-Esteem better than the single chapter on this topic in Feeling Good? Yes, Ten Days to Self-Esteem would likely be a deeper dive into the topic of Self-Esteem. It is a ten-step program that can be used in groups or individually in therapy, or as a self-help tool. There is a Leader’s Manual, too, for those who want to develop groups based on it. * * * * Are people who were abused emotionally when growing up more likely to get involved with narcissistic or borderline individuals later in life because the relationship is “familiar?” I was involved with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder, and it was exhausting! Why was I attracted to her? Thank you for the question, Jay. Most claims about parents and childhood experiences, in my opinion, are just something somebody claimed and highly unlikely to be true if one had a really great data base to test the theory. We don’t really know why people are attracted to each other. Many men do seem attracted to women with Borderline Personality Disorder. Perhaps it’s exciting and dramatic dynamic that they’re attracted to, and perhaps it’s appealing to try to “help” someone who seems wounded. Good research on topics like this would be enormously challenging, and people would just ignore the results if not in line with their own thinking. Our field is not yet very scientific, but is dominated by “cults” and people who believe, and who desperately want to believe, things that are highly unlikely, in my opinion, to be true. I do quite a lot of data analysis using a sophisticated statistical modeling program called AMOS (the Analysis of Moment Structures) created by Dr. James Arbuckle from Temple University in Philadelphia, someone I admire tremendously. This program does something called structural equation modeling. In the typical analysis, the program tells you that your theory cannot possibly be true, based on your data. If you are brave, this can lead to radical changes in how you think and see things, especially if you are not “stuck” in your favored theories. But this type of analysis is not for the faint of heart. All the best, David Here is Jay’s follow-up email: HI Dr. Burns, As you know A LOT of people attribute their present problems (depression / anxiety / relationship conflicts / addictions) to their "abusive" or "toxic" relationship with their parents. It is interesting that it seems some people internalize negative beliefs about themselves based on what their parents said to them on a consistent basis. But it seems you are saying the data does not support that theory. Jay Thanks, Jay, I’m glad you responded again. There may be some truth to those kinds of theories. We know, for example, that abused or feral cats often have trouble with trust. So, we don’t want to trivialize the pain and the horrors that many humans and animals alike endure. At the same time, people are eager to jump onto theories that “sound right” to them and serve their purposes, and most of these theories are not based on sound research. Here are two examples from my own research. I tested, in part, the theory that depression comes from bad relationships, and also that addictions result from emotional problems. I examined the causal relationships between depression on the one hand and troubled vs happy relationships with loved ones on the other hand in several hundred patients during the first 12 weeks of treatment at my clinical in Philadelphia, and published it in top psychology journal for clinical research. (will include link) That was because there were at the time two warring camps—those who said that a lack of loving and satisfying relationships causes depression, and those who said it was the other way around, that depression leads to troubled relationships. And the third group said it worked both ways. My study indicated that although troubled relationships were correlated with depression, there were NO causal links in either direction. Instead, the statistical models strongly hinted that an unobs…
47 min
OCD RECOVERY
OCD RECOVERY
Ali Greymond
2 Things Therapists Are Doing Wrong And How You Can Fix Them
OCD HELP App: https://apps.apple.com/app/ocd-help/id1320556362 Private OCD Recovery Program With Ali Greymond - YOUHAVEOCD.COM “The OCD Recovery Program has a high recovery rate because of action based approach sessions and text support between sessions. This keeps the person moving forward every day in OCD recovery. Ali Greymond guides you through the difficult moments and pushes you to fight for recovery. You are never going to feel alone in your daily battle against OCD and as long as you follow the program, you will recover.” OCD Recovery Program Testimonials I would just like to say a massive thank you to Ali Greymond for all of her help and support through what had to be one of the hardest and most fearful times in my life. Hell sounded appealing to what I was living with- false memory OCD! I’m very private and the thought of telling someone my intrusive thoughts was agonizing. I listened to Ali’s shows on YouTube and I knew the best person to help me was her, Ali made me feel so comfortable, I never once felt as though she was judging me in anyway in fact she made me feel the opposite like I was normal and none of this meant anything. She gave me the tools and skyped me every day I felt like She was in the next room the support was amazing. This wonderful lady changed my life, it’s hard work and determination daily but if there’s one person that can help you recover from OCD it’s Ali Greymond. She’s amazing at what she does and me and my family are blessed we found her because I don’t know where I’d be now. Thank you Ali your programme is amazing. (L.) I came to Ali with a severe case of contamination OCD. Ali graciously offered me an introductory session free of charge. When I asked her when we could start, she said “how about today”? I liked that she was that proactive and willing to jump in immediately. I looked at the packages she offered and signed up immediately for the “Severe OCD” package, because that accurately described the state I was in. Ali almost immediately became my anchor, my support system and friend through this very frightening and lonely disorder. With Ali by my side, I had hope for the first time and I made strides that even surprised me. I was amazed at how quickly I started to recover. It felt like magic to me. Having been a fellow sufferer herself, she truly understands the disorder. I felt that Ali intuitively knew when to push me through a fear and when to back off. When she felt that I was not ready for an exercise she told me. When she felt that I could push through a fear, she told me and 100% of the time, she was on point! This was extremely important as feeling in control is such a huge element of this disorder. I would recommend anyone suffering with this disorder to work with Ali. She helped me get my life back and that is priceless. (J.) Private OCD Recovery Program with Ali Greymond - youhaveocd.com
14 min
Your Anxiety Toolkit
Your Anxiety Toolkit
Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT
Ep. 178: Ways to Break the Cycle of Perfectionism with Menije Boduryan
Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have on an amazing guest and therapist, Menije Boduryan. Menije is an OCD specialist as well as a specialist on perfectionism. She is here today to talk to us about perfectionism and to give us some tips on how to manage perfectionism in our own lives. Menije defines perfectionism as a drive to do things perfectly with anything less than 100% being unacceptable. It is a desire to want everything to be flawless and in that desire, comes a lot of expectations or rules that people set for themselves. She explains that perfectionism becomes a mindset and you begin to operate in the world expecting yourself to be perfect, as well as your partner, your best friend, your clothes, your work desk, what you eat, and how you exercise to all be perfect. It becomes powerful because our self-identity becomes so attached to this idea of being perfect. It is not just about the desire to do things perfectly, but it also becomes a belief that once you do things perfectly, then you are enough, you are worthy. Menije shares with us a bit about her own struggles with perfectionism and how perfectionism impacts our relationships. She describes how it is really possible to fall into a cycle with perfectionism. If you fall short in something you are doing, which you inevitably will, you start into the cycle of feeling shame and that you are not good enough so you then strive to work harder the next time to achieve that level of perfection. Menije shares with us one of the best ways to break out of that cycle of perfectionism is really to just give ourselves a tremendous amount of self-compassion. Recognizing that whatever happens today, I am worthy and I am enough. She also describes that breaking out of the cycle involves being able to tolerate your imperfections. Really being able to sit with the discomfort and anxiety that will come when you have done something that is not perfect. She describes it as very similar to exposure therapy. This interview is full of so many amazing insights. I hope you will find it as helpful and as meaningful as I did. Menije's Instagram @dr.menije If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Coming in March ERP School will be available with bonus material! Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.
35 min
The One You Feed
The One You Feed
Eric Zimmer|Wondery
376: Adrienne Bankert on How to Choose Kindness
Adrienne Bankert is an Emmy award-winning national news correspondent for ABC News, covering some of the most historic headlines of the past decade. She calls herself a “tour guide” – coaching and mentoring, teaching and speaking across the U.S. Her new book is called, Your Hidden Superpower: The Kindness That Makes You Unbeatable at Work and Connects You With Anyone.  In this episode, Eric and Adrienne talk about what it means to be kind – how to practice it, cultivate it within yourself, and how it can serve as your beacon and guide no matter the circumstances that come your way. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Adrienne Bankert and I discuss How to Choose Kindness and… * Her book, Your Hidden Superpower: The Kindness That Makes You Unbeatable at Work and Connects You With Anyone * How helping others discover their purpose can also help you discover your own * That kindness helps us turn away from self-focus and towards a focus on the needs of others  * The way kindness can be at the core of our identity * Choosing kindness even when you don’t feel it * How to grow in kindness * Ways to respond kindly to people who are unkind to you * Her favorite stories of kindness * That kindness can be an anchor to us when we’re struggling or lost * Practical ways to practice kindness Adrienne Bankert Links: Instagram Twitter Facebook Skillshare is an online learning community that helps you get better on your creative journey. They have thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people. Be one of the first thousand to sign up via www.skillshare.com/feed and you’ll get a FREE trial of Skillshare premium membership. FitTrack Dara Smart Scale: It accurately measures 17 vital health metrics including body composition, hydration levels, and so much more. Stop measuring weight and start measuring health with FitTrack. Go to www.getfittrack.com/wolf to get 50% off your order – plus! for a limited time, you’ll save an additional 30% with code BUILD30 at checkout!  Best Fiends: Engage your brain and play a game of puzzles with Best Fiends. Download for free on the Apple App Store or Google Play.   If you enjoyed this conversation with Adrienne Bankert on How to Choose Kindness, you might also enjoy these other episodes: Donna Cameron on Kindness Shauna Shapiro
54 min
Inside Mental Health: A Psych Central Podcast
Inside Mental Health: A Psych Central Podcast
Healthline Media
Steven C. Hayes - What is ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)?
What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)? Is it just for select issues or can everyone benefit from ACT? Is there any evidence to support that ACT works at all? Dr. Steven C. Hayes, one of the pioneers of ACT, answers these questions and shares some of the interesting applications of ACT, ranging from helping professional athletes to Fortune 500 companies. Listen now! Guest Information for 'Acceptance and Commitment' Podcast Episode Steven C. Hayes is a Nevada Foundation professor of psychology in the behavior analysis program at the University of Nevada. An author of 46 books and nearly 650 scientific articles, he’s especially known for his work on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or “ACT,” which is one of the most widely-used and researched new methods of psychological intervention in the last 20 years. Hayes has received several national awards, such as the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy. His popular book “Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life” for a time was the best-selling self-help book in the United States, and his new book “A Liberated Mind” has been recently released to wide acclaim. His TEDx talks have been viewed by over 600,000 people, and he’s ranked among the most cited psychologists in the world. About the Inside Mental Health Podcast Host Gabe Howard lives with bipolar disorder and is a nationally recognized speaker and podcast host. He is the author of the book, Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations, available from Amazon; signed copies available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, please visit his website, gabehoward.com.
30 min
Very Bad Therapy
Very Bad Therapy
Ben Fineman and Caroline Wiita
76. VBT in Focus: Potentially Harmful Therapies (with Dr. Alex Williams and Dr. John Sakaluk)
The more you learn about psychotherapy research, the less it all seems to make sense. Dr. Alex Williams and Dr. John Sakaluk are working to change that by researching the research itself. We discuss two of their latest papers on empirically supported treatments and potentially harmful therapies. Which modalities can we be confident about? Which psychological interventions appear to cause harm? What do we know about EMDR and exposure therapy? VBT in Focus is a series of sporadic episodes in which Carrie and Ben have the privilege of chatting with their favorite thinkers in the field of psychotherapy. Thank you for listening. To support the show and receive access to regular bonus episodes, check out the Very Bad Therapy Patreon community. Introduction: 0:00 – 11:20 Part One: 11:20 – 1:58:23 Part Two: 1:58:20 – 2:00:02 Very Bad Therapy: Website / Facebook / Bookshelf / Tell Us Your Story Ben Fineman Counseling – Therapy for Young Professionals (Benjamin Michael Fineman - Registered Associate MFT #119754 - Supervised by Curt Widhalm, LMFT #47333) Show Notes: * APA Division 12 List of Empirically Supported Treatments * The evidence for evidence-based therapy is not as clear as we thought * Evaluating the evidential value of empirically supported psychological treatments (ESTs): A meta-scientific review * Potentially harmful therapies: A meta-scientific review of evidential value * Dr. Alex Williams: Twitter / Email: alexwilliams@ku.edu * Dr. John Sakaluk: Twitter * The Most Ridiculous Guy From John Mulaney’s Latest Stand-Up Special Is 100% Real And 100% Weird * Scared Straight: Bullying with Betty White – SNL
2 hr
More episodes
Search
Clear search
Close search
Google apps
Main menu