EP. 17: Finding Freedom From Toxic People (with Gary Thomas)
33 min

When you read the term “toxic people,” who comes to mind? A coworker? A family member? Someone at church? Maybe it’s a group of people who feed off of one another in the worst of ways. What makes someone toxic? What’s the difference between a toxic person and someone who’s broken and needs extra love? How do you know when it’s time to walk away from a toxic person? In this episode, our guest Gary Thomas will be leading us through a discussion of how to recognize and when to walk away from toxic people.

Bio of guest: 

Gary Thomas is the best-selling author of over 20 books including the topic of today’s show: When to Walk Away: Finding Freedom from Toxic People. Gary serves on the teaching team at Second Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, and has been married to his wife, Lisa, for 25 years. They have three adult children and a granddaughter. 

Notes and Quotes: 

  • “Walking away isn’t always a statement of failure; it’s a statement of strategy.”
  • If we let toxic people control our thoughts and focus, then we lose sight of the purpose God has for us.
  • “Here’s my voice, here’s my mission” . . .  and don’t let a toxic person distract you from that mission.
  • Women in their fifties will look back at the toxic people from their twenties and laugh at how insignificant those people have become in their lives.
  • “Gaslighting is when somebody makes you feel like you’re crazy when you are speaking the truth.”
  • “When you question your own sanity, they are destroying your foundation.”
  • “All toxic people are difficult, but not all difficult people are toxic.”
  • “Toxic people love to act in a toxic manner. Healthy people will occasionally act in a toxic way.”
  • “Walking away is actually an act of worship.”
  • “Toxic people often use toxic language. . . . They don’t want you to act like a Christian to please God, they are using your desire to please God as a weapon to control you.”

Links/Books/Resources Mentioned In Show: 

Verses Mentioned in Show: 

Jesus Calling: Stories of Faith
Jesus Calling: Stories of Faith
Sarah Young
Painful Endings and New Beginnings: Zim Flores & Kayla Stoecklein
Have you ever experienced the pain of reaching the end of something you loved—a relationship, a job, a phase of life? Looking back, how was God able to lead you from that loss into a new chapter? Entrepreneur and author Zim Flores is familiar with the pain of letting go. A few years ago, she gave up her highly successful company, Travel Noire, because she felt God calling her to move to a new place. Looking back, Zim can see how God worked all things together for her good, which she talks about in her new book called Dare to Bloom. Mental health advocate Kayla Stoecklein experienced the tragic loss of her young husband to suicide, just as he was hitting his stride as the lead pastor of a large church in California. Reeling from her new life as a widow with three young boys, Kayla began to reexamine the way she thought about mental health, and God helped Kayla use her story to begin helpful and healing conversations around this issue. Links, Products, and Resources Mentioned: Jesus Calling Podcast Jesus Calling book Other Interview of Interest: Brett Swayn Upcoming interview: Mike Weaver of Big Daddy Weave Zim Flores New book: Dare to Bloom Travel Noire Biafran War Mayo Clinic Bangalore John 15 Kayla Stoecklein New book: Fear Gone Wild Vanguard University Inland Hills Church Godsgotthis.com National Suicide Prevention Interview Quotes: “I don't think that it should be something that is a rarity for women and men of God to talk about God in a way that inspires people to think a little bit differently about God in their own lives.” - Zim Flores “I would say that my time in India being away from everything that I knew, everybody that I knew, speaking a different language completely, that was where my faith in God was strengthened.” - Zim Flores “Your sacrifice unto God is not for naught. He will honor that sacrifice, whether it is tomorrow, whether it's next month, whether it's five months or a year from now. God always makes good on His promises.” - Zim Flores “I am an open vessel. I think the best thing that we can be for God is available.” - Zim Flores “I believed with enough prayer that God would intervene, that God would save [Andrew]. I was willing to do whatever it took to beg God for that miracle, and we didn't get that miracle.” - Kayla Stoecklein “Oftentimes there's so much shame and stigma with that word suicide. I think oftentimes the family that's left in the shrapnel is afraid to say that word, is afraid to admit that it was a suicide and tries to hide it up or tries to cover it or thinks it's their fault. And I knew right away that it wasn't anybody's fault.” - Kayla Stoecklein “God was on the move and He handed me this microphone, and I couldn't look away. And so I kept sharing and I really, truly felt the presence of God like I had never felt in my entire life.” - Kayla Stoecklein “We serve a God that can squeeze so much purpose out of our pain and that can turn really horrible, horrific, ugly things into beautiful redemption stories for others.” - Kayla Stoecklein ________________________ Enjoy watching these additional videos from Jesus Calling YouTube channel: Audio Playlist: https://bit.ly/2PrbuwH Video Playlist: https://bit.ly/2PsmEkJ What’s Good? Playlist: https://bit.ly/3i7VUlZ ________________________ Connect with Jesus Calling Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest YouTube Jesus Calling Website
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