This week's episode is brought to you by our newest book "Marriage After God: Chasing Boldly After God’s Purpose for Your Life Together." One of our motivations for writing Marriage After God was to help inspire couples to consider how they can use what they have to serve God together. Sometimes we need that “
out of the box” thinking to get us to see the bigger picture or possibilities that lay right in front of us.
Instead of seeing ministry as a Sunday service practice, we encourage couples to see their marriage as a ministry, a reflection of God’s love in this world.
Grab Your Copy of marriage after God today! Amazon.com
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hi, and welcome to the Marriage After God podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
We're your host Aaron and Jennifer Smith.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
We have been married 15 years and have five sweet children who are growing up way too fast. We
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Love God and we love marriage,
Speaker 1 (00:20):
And we love to be honest about it all.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Marriage is not always a walk in the park, but we do believe it has a powerful purpose.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
So our goal here is to open up the conversation to talk about our faith and our
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Marriage, especially in light of the gospel.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
We certainly don't have all the answers, but if you stick around, we may just make you laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
But our hope is to encourage you to chase boldly after God's purpose for your life together.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
This is Marriage after God.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Welcome back to another episode of The Marriage After God podcast. I'm Aaron.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Speaker 2 (00:56):
. We're happy to be here today. We're gonna be talking about marriage in light of God's plan versus our own plan, which sometimes seems like they conflict . So we're just gonna be talking about our heart postures towards that and how we should respond to that, um, as believers as as a couple, um, because we all experience that
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Today's episode is brought to you by our book Marriage After God. One of our motivations for writing this book was to inspire couples to consider how they can use what they have to serve God together. Sometimes we need that extra out of the box thinking to get us to see the bigger picture or possibilities that lay right in front of us. So our hope is that you guys would be inspired by this book that we wrote for you. You can get a email@example.com or shop dot marriage after god.com.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Awesome. So, uh, you know, it's interesting is this book Marriage After God talks about a lot of the things, um, that we experience in our life also about, um, missed expectations and how God used them, um, uh, directions that we thought we were going on, but how God was redirecting us and giving us different paths for our lives, different visions for our lives, essentially where we're at today is not something that we planned on being, you know, authors and what we're doing today with our podcast. It was never an idea in our minds when we first got married. Mm-hmm. . But look where we're at. Yep. So,
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, the style of podcasting we do, the books that we write, everything comes from our experiences and what, So even just doing this season here and we've pretty much covered a lot of what we went through last year, right? Yeah. So today's episode is just a piece of that .
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah. Just talking about the, because to be honest, that's all we have to share with everyone is what we Yeah. What we experience. Yeah. Um, it's, it's how God teaches us is how God grows us. And, you know, as we move through this life, we're, we're learning. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Hopefully it's relatable. I mean, who doesn't have plans that don't come to pass or, uh, who doesn't get frustrated when there's obstacles ,
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Or who doesn't feel those strong emotions and feelings when uh, you feel like you're moving it direction and then God changes that. Like kind of what we were just talking about. It's, it sometimes feels really heavy. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Um, before we jump into Heavy, cuz it's not always fun to start out a podcast heavy, uh, I have a funny story. Well, it's actually your story. I just
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Can share it. . I had really good intentions.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I helped make a return today. I went to Costco with a big box from an, it's an iRobot vacuum. Kind of like the Roomba or these other versions. Yeah. And we took it back because Aaron had good intentions to get me something
Speaker 2 (03:41):
That I thought, I was like, Hey, everyone has these and we have like all this floor and maybe it'll help, like, help maintain so that we don't have to like, do so much cleaning. This thing was loud,
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Like jet engine loud.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
And I, I also thought, I was like, you know what, I'll have it running like in the, in the middle of the night while we're sleeping. That makes the most sense.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Or like, while the kids are to bed
Speaker 2 (04:02):
And we 10 o'clock rolls around and, and it's making all these noises. I don't even think you could turn the noises off, but then without all those sounds, I was
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Like, go, go dock it. Go put it back to bed or whatever you do. And remember you did it and then it like cleaned
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Itself out. Yeah, it has, It's like it cleans itself out into a bag,
Speaker 1 (04:22):
But it got like 10 notches
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Even higher. It sounds like a jet engine. So crazy vacuuming out this, this robot. Anyways, all that to say, we put it back in the box and we took it back. , it's terrible. Super impractical. Um, the idea was it would help us clean in reality it's way, it was way too loud and it was not, it's not ideal. Five kids running around the house trying to st to climb on it the whole time there. It's rolling around like cats
Speaker 1 (04:49):
All to say plans change. It could be the simplest of things like some purchase that you make or it could be some life altering thing where you get stopped in your tracks. And so we're just gonna kind of cover it all today.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
, maybe not even all of it. Okay. We're just gonna, we're just gonna talk about some of these, the concepts that, that, that come up with this, this topic and how we can, what, what should our perspective be? How can we deal with these? Because when we get hit, it's in these situations when we really struggled to be like, Okay, now what am I supposed to do? Or how am I supposed to feel? Mm-hmm. . Cause often we feel justified in our anger or frustration because well, we didn't get what we wanted.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah. I have definitely experienced those times. I don't even know if I'm like sitting there thinking, Oh, I'm so justified in all these emotions that I'm dealing with right now, but they are my fir like initial responses. It exist to the things that I'm walking through. And you know, just thinking about this last year, expecting or thinking that our move was gonna be a brief thing, you know, and we were gonna move in in a couple months.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Are you talking about us leaving our last house?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Leaving our last house going to the new house? Yeah. I thought it was gonna be a couple of months and it turned it out to be a lot longer.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
What was it like 10
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Months? Yeah, it was like 10 months. But all good things happen throughout that time. And so it's weird that you can have so many intense emotions and think so negatively about something happening where you're like, cuz because of expectations where you're like, I, no, it's supposed to be this way because of this, this and this. But there were so many times when I was feeling that and you would come in and be like, But, but God like mm-hmm. , what has God had for us in this? I shared this in another episode. A friend of mine asked, you know, what does God have for you in this? Like, what is he trying to teach you? What is he trying to show you? And it's so good to, if we can stop and be reflective to consider, well is this God changing our plans and is he allowed to, Is that okay? Are you gonna embrace it? You know?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yeah. I think we, if we were all to think about it, we could probably look back on many things in our lives that we're like, we wanted, we wanted something one way. We wanted this, that new job or we wanted to, you name it, the, the something that we were hoping happened, expected had, but planned on happening and it doesn't. And in the moment we were angry, we were sad, we were confused. But then years later we look back, we could probably say like, Well I'm really glad I didn't get what I wanted in that situation. Or
Speaker 1 (07:15):
We can literally see the hand of God going, That was him. That was him. That
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Was him. Yeah. The hi, that hindsight is 2020 thing where, let's
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Talk about that hindsight real quick. Let's just give them some examples of what we thought versus what came to be.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I tend to always, when I think about our life plans, , I always go back to the beginning. uh, do you remember when we first got married and how I took it to Africa with me ?
Speaker 1 (07:38):
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I remember that. Uh, well first of all, that probably wasn't on your agenda for your plan for your life, Right?
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I didn't consider it until we were engaged. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah. And did, this isn't on the notes, but do you remember what you were planning on doing before we went to Africa? Like you had this life plan of
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I thought I was gonna finish school. I thought I was gonna get a degree and become a teacher and I don't know, I don't
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Remember that. Well, that was your tr tra trajectory. How you say that word? Yeah, I remember that because it was a, it was a conversation that we had pretty regularly. Your mom had that conversation like, wait a minute, what are you doing? Were you taking my daughter ? So that was one thing, like we had this, you had this plan for your life. One of it was getting, one of a part of it was getting married.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
That's an interesting season though, where like you're independent and then going into marriage and like a lot of things change in that time period.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
But we go to African instead and we, we gotta be missionaries. And, and in my mind back then I'm thinking like, Oh, this is what I wanna do for, you know, however long. I, I had no idea how long, but I was like, this is what I wanna do. Um, but that didn't last as long as we thought.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Yeah. Once we jumped into it, which was really awesome. Um, I thought we were going to keep going that way for years. I thought, I thought being, yeah, we were traveling missionaries was gonna be like what we do. And it was a couple of years and then
Speaker 2 (08:58):
It was very, it wasn't even really, it was, it was less than a couple years, but quickly he pointed out something else to us. And we talked about that in marriage after God about desiring to get outta debt so that we could continue to do ministry for God. And also
Speaker 1 (09:12):
About that in that time tending to our marriage, which we didn't realize, which is a big deal. Yeah. I can look back now and see if we had just continued on and, and done ministry work without the intentional focus. We did pour into our marriage during that time. I mean, that would have not gone over well.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
. No. And, and you know, those are things that we didn't see back then in the midst of our pursuits. Yeah. In the midst of like, we're missionaries. We're doing this thing for God, it's awesome. And it was awesome, but there was also things going on that God wanted to deal with in us. Yeah. And man, praise God that he stopped us. Mm-hmm. redirected us. Um, and so we, that was one thing. We, we, you thought you were gonna be a school teacher and finished school. We thought we were gonna do missionaries longer. And then along the way there's this like weaving Yeah. Of this story that God's mm-hmm. writing in our life mm-hmm. of what he has for us. And what's awesome, just real quick, I was thinking, we, you were talking and I was thinking, man, all the way from that moment to now we're missionaries now in a different sense. Yeah. . Um, we, we, we support ourselves though now. Yeah. Which was a part of the reason of getting outta debt is we wanted to be able to be easy, have an easier time doing ministry for God and not have this burden. And we're kind of doing that now
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Or we're not traveling,
Speaker 2 (10:26):
But we're not, Well we do travel, but not necessarily Yeah. As missionaries. But it's just a different, it's a different version of it. I think that was something I was thinking about. So, uh, what was another aspect of our life? This is actually kind of ties into the next phase of our life that we had one perspective, one idea, but it ended up being something totally different.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
totally different. Yeah. We, well I know for me, I knew that I wanted to get married young, but having children just wasn't a super strong desire of mine. And so when we did find out we were pregnant, that was like, kind of like a shock to both of us. And it was really awesome. And I think that, uh, we were, we were ready in the sense that we had been married for five years and we were looking forward to that change coming into our lives. But then after I had Elliot, I remember thinking like, I can only have the one. Like, this is really hard. Yeah. This
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Is too much. How do people do one? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Yeah. But I actually found a place of contentment in just having the one. And I thought that that's just, that was gonna be our family. And then two and a half years later we ended up having another and then another and another. Now we have five. I just can't believe it. When I look at our family and just the growth that we've experienced and the size of our family, I'm just like, in awe. Like, whoa. Like I did not expect that.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah. And it, it was for both of us, we both had a similar perspectives of like, of, you know, we're not ready, we don't want 'em yet. That sort of thing. Mm-hmm. . Um, but God had other ideas and totally worked on our hearts in various ways and through different channels. And now we have five kids. We have a family of seven Wild And people still ask us, when are we gonna have the next, How are
Speaker 1 (12:09):
You gonna have more? We're like, we're not to . Uh, you mentioned earlier that I really wanted to be a school teacher and I was just thinking how I, I did wanna be a school teacher, but then I Oh, that's funny. Didn't, And I didn't. That that I am, cuz we homeschool. This is a different setting. .
Speaker 2 (12:26):
So the versions of our plans that we had, these are, this is like the better versions of our plans. , which is actually how God works sometimes. Another one that I, I feel like we've had these plans periodically over the last eight years of moving out of the west, out of the moving, moving out of Oregon to somewhere else. Well,
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Especially over the last couple of years. And I think everyone, you know, has had these notions of this like, itch, Are we supposed to go somewhere? Yeah. But we don't feel like God has told us to go anywhere. And so here we are in Oregon.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
We're still here in Oregon. Yep. Until he moves us. We don't know.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Another one we were thinking about when we were, uh, kind of discussing about this podcast episode is how we both, uh, intended and hoped to get married young, which we did. And we thought we were gonna enjoy sex and then we didn't
Speaker 2 (13:23):
And that, and then we thought that would only last a couple weeks and it didn't. And then we thought it was gonna last only a few months and it didn't. But Yeah. Um, when Jennifer was asking me, she's like, What, what things in of our li in our life did we have one expectation, but, you know, got another. And I feel like this was a big one.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
That was a huge
Speaker 2 (13:40):
One. Um, and this affected us on monumental tons of ways. Um, and God used it also in, in immense ways in our lives to really chip away at our, those areas of our life that we were not willing to lose control of, um, to let go of, to surrender in. Um, and so that was a, that was a big one.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
I think everyone listening right now, like they can probably pinpoint those smaller areas where they maybe had a plan in their heart and it was changed, or God had something else in mind. Or the big, like monumental things.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
There's like those cornerstone Yeah. Like events in your life. Yeah. Yeah. But they do, they shape us. Um, and if we don't let God do the shaping, then often we'll let the circumstances in our heart, in our flesh and our emotions shape us. Mm-hmm. . And that's when we get bitterness and we get anger and we get, you know, pent up frustrations and all sorts of dirty things that come out in bad ways. Mm-hmm. , I think
Speaker 1 (14:42):
I remember someone, uh, giving an analogy of like being in an oil press. Like when that, when you're under pressure or under stress or under circumstances that, uh, push on upon you, what comes out of you? .
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah. Is it like good oil or is it like nastiness,
Speaker 1 (15:00):
? Like is it scripture? Like are you reciting the truth or Yeah. Are you just being nasty? Like Aaron said . Hmm. It was a good, it was a good picture for me. I like to think in pictures.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
How does it make you feel, Jennifer, when life doesn't go the way you expect? Or let's make even simpler each day. every day. How does it feel when the day doesn't go the way you expect?
Speaker 1 (15:25):
I feel like you just listed a lot of emotions that I have experienced. Um, but I think for me, I, I, I don't know if I'm gonna answer your question. I probably won't. Sorry, , but I will say that I just skip it. No, I try to avoid being disappointed or I try to avoid all those feelings by setting us and our family up for success by communicating. And I try really hard and even still I get interrupted or,
Speaker 2 (15:52):
You know, didn't happen tonight actually.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
It doesn't unfold the way tonight.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah. Wasn't there like these plans you had for tomorrow? Oh, for tomorrow? I just,
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, there was a conversation we had about that actually. ,
Speaker 2 (16:01):
I threw a rich in it.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Speaker 2 (16:04):
And you responded so gracefully and so patiently.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Okay. Yes. I get frustrated when things don't go my way. I do have a hard time with change, which I always thought that I was more flexible than I actually am.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
I think. Do you have a hard time with change when it goes against what you have said in motion?
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Well, I think, I think because like what I was trying to say is I, I try and avoid all of those feelings by setting us up, by communicating like, this is the plan. Like this is what we're gonna do and this is the most efficient, effective way to be. And I usually think that I'm pretty right on this . So when things don't go that way, the truth comes outta here. Or when other people I know, but when other people don't see what I'm doing, Which
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Friend are you talking about? ? Are you talk, Who are you talking about? You. Oh
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Wow. When you get in my way. No, I'm just kidding. Um,
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Well just say it how it is.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Cause it's not just you when I get in, it's
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Too. When anyone gets in your way like, God, don't you know the plans that I have for you Lord. Yeah. Like my plans are, these are the best ones. You can
Speaker 1 (17:13):
We move on? ? I suck. I
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Know that. No, this is good because this is how most people think it is, is my plans are the best plans. , it's uh,
Speaker 1 (17:22):
You're wrong. No,
Speaker 2 (17:24):
It's reality. It's like you'll fail one of these days. You'll you'll just understand to listen to me and do . I have it all. Right. That's how we all think. I it's on some level in some way. We all think that way. So I that's that.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
So what's the truth? What, what do we need to walk away from this podcast hearing you . Please tell
Speaker 2 (17:43):
. There's a reason God puts stumbling blocks in our way or he puts, he puts uh, d detours on our paths because he wants his plan. He wants his will done, not our will. Um, and I think sometimes our plans line up with his, I think that's the goal, right? We want to pray and we wanna seek the Lord and ask that our life. But that, that's hard because just in the day to day, like what are we gonna have for breakfast? What are we gonna, you know, when we, you know, are gonna go do this thing or, So I think I think what's hard is on a micro level, it's more about how are we being when our plan, when when we don't get what we want. Yeah. How are we responding? Because that's that the Bible even tells us that the will of God is our sanctification. Mm. That's his will. So throughout the day God wants to sanctify you, He wants to sanctify me. So when we have these, this perfect order of things and one little thing just makes us fall on our face, we stub our toe, we bump our head and you know, emotionally, spiritually,
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Oh gosh. So just, sorry, you just said stub your toe. Yeah. So today I got back from Costco and I was having all the kids come out and help me get stuff out of the car. And Truitt came running out and I, I even gave him the, the freedom and the privilege to not help because there was some pretty big boxes out there. And I said, It's okay tr just stay inside. And he goes, No, I wanna help. So he runs past me barefoot and stubs his toe coming off the concrete pad patio. Yeah. Asphalt. It was so bloody. You guys gross. So you said stubb toe and I got that image
Speaker 2 (19:28):
And I was just, But that's a good exam. That's a good example is like you're running out to like, you got a smile on your face. I'm gonna go help. Everything's perfect. Everything's
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Great, everything is awesome. No,
Speaker 2 (19:37):
And then you bloody your toe . That's for our sanctification. It's for our tra it's our growing. So even if there's not like this big, you know, heavenly ministry or thing that's gonna about to happen in the next five minutes, what God does want to happen in the next five minutes is our sanctification. Mm-hmm. . And sometimes our, our plans don't go the way we want. And God's like, Okay, are you, you just asked me this actually, Aaron, are you walking in the spirit right now? And I'm like, well, no, I'm not. I'm walking in my flesh . And so I think that's what God's trying to teach us in all these, these things, these detours, these hours versus his plans. Yeah. As far as sanctification,
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Whenever I think of plans, you know, and making plans or even encouraging other people to like, hey, go dream together, which was last week's challenge. Uh, I always think of Proverbs 69, the heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Mm-hmm. , I love that verse.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah. And, and it's a such a simple thing, but it's so powerful is we have, there's another one that says many are the plans in a man's heart mm-hmm. , right? But we have all these ideas, plans, we like few we're tr we talked about it in a few, few episodes ago, like always looking ahead, like, oh, you know, there's this and there's that and we're gonna plan for this vacation, we're gonna plan for this ministry, we're gonna plan for this business and we have no control over tomorrow. All we have is like right now mm-hmm. and God's like, who are you right now with me? How are you gonna be right now with me? How are you gonna respond in this situation with me? And that's so that him establishing our steps is him placing before us these things and saying, How are you going to, how are we walking together? Are you gonna let me lead you? Um, a good, a good example of that. So business wise, I brought that up a second ago. Um, we've had a lot of things change over the last couple years with our business financially, and it's stuff that we have to deal with. And
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I feel like every year too, sometimes three, like there's this really big change Yeah. Just with what we're doing and how we're doing it.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
And this is something that God's been using to sanctify me because I, I tend to focus a lot, um, on the finances of the business, the marketing, the business, all the, all the ins and outs. Um, but it's something that God's using to, again, sanctify me. I have these ideas and, and aspirations and visions of what, what our business does and how it works and things change. And I have zero that is zero control over that change. One of those things that happened
Speaker 1 (22:12):
Good and bad because this what you're about to share was something you were not planning for.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
I wasn't planning for. Yeah. Um, so we have this account. So we we That's
Speaker 1 (22:22):
What I'm talking about that, that actually getting the account
Speaker 2 (22:25):
Oh, that, that originally I didn't, Yeah. I couldn't have controlled that. So Hobby Lobby, I don't know if you are listening and if you know this, but if you are a frequent hobby Lobby , um, our books are there, some of them. And for many years now, uh, they've been buying four books from us, Four or five different books from us, which has been awesome because they came on board out of nowhere, They reached out to us, they reached out to us out of nowhere at a time when financially things were just like taking, We needed it, we needed it. I was like, man, if I don't know what we're gonna do. And then I got this, this email from their buyer and I was like, Okay, that's interesting. You wanna buy some books for one of the stores? Great. But it wasn't that they bought all, they bought books for all the stores and I blew, It was like, it was a blessing that we had no idea. Couldn't have controlled. So again, that was something that I didn't so cool. I didn't plan for. And so Hobby Lobby's been awesome for us, but I, we got comfortable because Hobby Lobby was so awesome.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Making those regular orders
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Yeah. Making those regular monthly orders from us. And then they stopped, Not, not all together, but like they, the order, the order sizes just totally changed. And they stopped ordering a few of our books, which they're allowed to do. And they're a totally autonomous company and we don't have any control over their buying. Uh, but that's something that happened this last year. And, and I get to deal, we get to deal with it, We get to walk through and, and we still get to thank God that they, that they came along when they did, even if they stopped all together. Praise God. They don't, They, they're still purchasing two of our books. So if you want to go to your local Hobby lobby, you could pick up a couple of our books. Um,
Speaker 1 (24:01):
They're the cheapest two. Right.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
They, they actually are the cheapest place to buy our books cuz they discounted 40% . So, so that's another thing. Like what we have these ideas that we look forward to that we try and control and coordinate and, and to harness. But I don't really, I don't have control over anything. Like, I don't, Amazon can lead our books tomorrow. Hobby Lobby can stop buying our books. Like all these places that we took currently are blessed by making sales through. I don't control any of them. And so it's, it's a really hard thing to try and have an open hand with that. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
. But you said sometimes these things can, um, lend to sanctification. So using this example of like, obviously you would love for Hobby Lobby to carry all 12 of our books. 11 of our books. That'd be awesome, right? and for success and growth and all of that. Yeah. But that's not what happened. So with changing gears with that, like where does it, what does the sanctification look like in, Well,
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Speaker 1 (25:04):
This How you respond, or,
Speaker 2 (25:06):
The first thing I felt when I got the email confirming my fears was just this, like this, um, it's probably, it was probably anxiety. My heart was pounding in my chest and I was like, I don't know what to do. What are we gonna do? Like, just started freaking out. I was in the car by myself and I hadn't told you yet mm-hmm. . And I'm just like, okay. And then to be, and then, you know what the, so the first thing I I experienced was all that going on in my mind and heart that like tension made me feel a little sick, actually. Biological response. Yeah. . But then the, the next thing I did as I, I I remember saying, Okay, Lord, if, if this is your will that you wanna take this then Okay. Hmm. And it, it immediately made me realize how much security I found I placed in Hobby Lobby and then buying our books, how much security I found I've, I've placed in the book sales in general.
Mm-hmm. , you know, how we make money. And I just had to release it and say God at some level. Like I just got, I mean, at every level I just have to be able to say, okay. Mm-hmm. , like, if, if this is what you want to do and are going to do, I need to receive that. And it was super hard, but it actually brought me peace because what's awesome is, um, he's trustworthy. Yeah. Which goes into a couple of things that we wanted to bring up. Some tips for finding joy and peace when God's plans are not our plans. Like this situation in my car, mm-hmm. . Cause that was, that was exactly that, that moment of, Oh no. Mm-hmm. , I don't have control over this. Oh no. And so the, the, when you read the first one,
Speaker 1 (26:52):
The first one's trust him. And it's one of my favorite verses Proverbs three, five through six, Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding in all your ways. Acknowledge him and he will make your, he will make straight your paths. I love this verse because it reminds me that even in my good well intentioned thinking, I don't know all the answers, I don't have all of the perspective. I'm not all powerful or in control. And I need to trust him. Yeah. . But I need to trust him. Yeah. Because even when I am doing all the right things, or I do have a good perspective of how things should go, even still, he wants me to trust in him. And so I just Yeah. I
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Love that. Well, and at a base level, when we, when we let our flesh get to us with like, when like this hobby and everything or you, you name the situation in your own life where like, it wasn't supposed to be this way, This is not what I want. This is not how I, like, I wanted to to to go it at that base level, the core issue is, God, you're doing it wrong. This isn't what you're supposed to be doing. I don't trust like, telling him what to do. Yeah. Um, and we may not be using those words, but that's what we're saying. Like, No, I don't like what's happening right now. This isn't right, this is wrong. Cuz it doesn't feel good and it's scary. So trusting him is a, is an antidote to that. It's saying, you know, in this one situation with Hobby lobby, it's not, it's not like I do that in every situation.
I have to wrestle with things usually more. But in this moment I was like, man, I, I could freak out and, you know, start crying or I could trust you and know that you're a good God and you've always taken care of us. Even in the, the bleakest of moments, you've taken care of us. Mm-hmm. . And so th this should be no different. Mm-hmm. . And so trusting him, is that an, the second one, um, is humble yourselves first Peter five, six, humble yourselves, therefore under the mighty hand of God so that the proper time, he may exalt you
Speaker 1 (29:02):
His time. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
And, and exalting this term can mean many things, but in reality it's, it's just being raised up. It's like when he's ready to put you where he wants you, letting and letting that be the case. But that it starts with humbleness. Instead of putting myself know, I deserve this. I deserve that job. I deserve that raise. Yeah. That's, I deserve that.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
That's a dangerous place to be emotionally. Mm-hmm. , because if you think that you deserve anything
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Yeah, that's a good
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Point. You're gonna be discouraged. .
Speaker 2 (29:38):
Yeah. It, to be honest, this is actually something during the, the months that Jennifer and I had our issues of like, you know, when are we gonna be in and, and just the emotional stuff Yeah. The emotional stuff that came out of that I remember quite a few times saying, Hey, this is a pretty awesome thing that we get and we don't deserve it. mm-hmm. , even though we're having to wait for it, even though this is difficult, like this, just remembering like what we actually deserve, which is judgment. And we haven't been given that mm-hmm. , we've been given grace and mercy. Humility is a, should be the starting point where every Christian mm-hmm. . So
Speaker 1 (30:17):
The last one is be still Psalm 46, 10 says, Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth. I also wanted to share, this isn't in the notes, Aaron, but you shared on Sunday a really cool picture of being silent before God. You're teaching through revelation right now. And just the importance of being, still being quiet, uh, and, and finding a secure place in your relationship with God where you can have peace mm-hmm. in that stillness and not freaking out, not worrying, not complaining, not being discontent, but just still.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Yeah. And it, it, so Revelation chapter eight, verse one and two, I think it says that when the seven seal was open, So when, when Jesus the Lamb opens the seven seal of this scroll, it says that all of heaven was silent for about a half hour. Which is, I think, I always think it's funny that it throws in like for 30 minutes. It was quiet. Um, but the power of that was the, we don't, it doesn't say why they were silent, but I was imagining that they were waiting for God. They were waiting for, because that's, I mean, this, this scrolls open and, and that's what being still and being silent does. There's ano there was another verse I was gonna bring in here. When Moses goes and tells the Israelites, he says, God's going to save you. All you have to do is be silent and just watch mm-hmm. , the Red Sea was on one side, the Egyptians soldiers were on the other side. They had no way out. There was no, they had, their plans were just, we were gonna die. That was their plan. We're dead. And God's plan was, No, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna, I'm gonna save you mm-hmm. , and here's how I'm gonna do it. And Moses just says, Hey, you just gotta be quiet. Mm-hmm. and wait, and God's gonna do it.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
Yeah. For a lot of people listening right now, they might be literally right now in situations where they may not feel like they're gonna die, but maybe they feel like they're facing the impossible they're facing mm-hmm. things that are so hard and they can't even wrap their head around like, how am I gonna get out of this? How, how am I gonna get my family to a better place? Or how am am I gonna respond to these circumstances around me changing when it wasn't part of the plan?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Speaker 1 (32:46):
And even still, we can be quiet, silent, calm still, and at peace before the Lord.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I just was thinking how f how interesting and funny it is. None of us plan hardship. None of us plan detours. None of us plan. Like, if, if it was all my plan, like there would only ever be success and comfort, and I would never, I would never put into the, to the itinerary a flat tire.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Speaker 2 (33:19):
I would never put into the itinerary a broken arm or, uh, you know, you, you name the, the, the hardship. We would only ever plan good things and, and comfortable things and easy things and successful things, which would sanctify nothing. We would only ever get what we want. And so I, I just, I was just thinking when I was thinking about plans, like our plans would only ever benefit us and, but God is so much bigger than our plan, our plans mm-hmm. because he has other things in mind, like our character and also the character of those around us. You know, my, my, uh, my being fired from a job could be a blessing for someone who's been praying for a job. I would never plan that, but then my plan would disregard this other person that God cares about and loves also.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Are you saying we should start planning hardship?
Speaker 2 (34:12):
No, I'm just like, I'm just saying we would never would . So,
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Uh, when we were filling out the notes for today's episode, and, uh, I saw that you had these three points. I wanted to add one in here, but it made me think of, um, , this meme that keeps going around from friends where it's Ross carrying the couch and it says pivot, pivot, pivot, pivot . And, um, I was just thinking how important it is for us to be, I used the word flexible earlier, but to embrace change and to have margin for God to step in and say, Nope, I'm gonna redirect you. .
Speaker 2 (34:50):
Yeah. It's the difference of like gripping so hard on your life. Like I'm not, I don't want it to move out of, you know, where it's at. You stay like this and being loose and free,
Speaker 1 (35:02):
Open-handed. Yeah. Yeah. Because we're not in control.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
You might think you are . Do, do you think you're
Speaker 1 (35:09):
In control? I, I want to be sometimes. Um, sometimes I like control . There was another meme myself. Sorry. I'm always, I feel like I talk in memes these days.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Well, we're the generation of memes. Okay. We learn everything through memes. So
Speaker 1 (35:24):
This is a good one. It's, it was very like just pencil line drawings and it said, uh, my plan and it was a straight line from A to B. And then it said, but what God's plan looks like. And it was like all these scribbling like
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Scribbles circles and spirals
Speaker 1 (35:38):
And uh Yeah. Look like a little obstacle course
Speaker 2 (35:41):
As people, which is so much truer because we are such simple people, simple creatures. Like all we can imagine is like, no, it's just straight to the let's just here to here. Yeah. And we win Yay and God's like, Man, I have so much more that he's, he contemplates all things.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
When you put it in terms like that, it makes me think that when I'm like, Hey Aaron, will you build me a chicken coop? And then like two weeks later and a few mistakes and frustrated attitudes and not enough wood and all
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Those things, you should post a picture of it. The coop.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
We're getting closer every day.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
It's like close to halfway done.
Speaker 1 (36:18):
I'm proud of you . Okay, I have a question. Um, how do you know, how do you, okay, when you're going about your life and you've made these plans and things are going and then things change, the circumstance change. How do you know that it's God's plan versus your plan? Or that it's not just happenstance? How do, like when you're sitting in the car and you've got that message from Hobby Lobby, how do you not, how, how do you not respond and go, uh, ,
Speaker 2 (36:51):
I did do that. Uh,
Speaker 1 (36:53):
But how do, but how do you then so quickly say, God, I trust you. Okay. If this is what it's gonna be, How do you give him the credit and say, Well this is your plan. I think are, you get in that mindset.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
I might ruffle some feathers with this concept, but there's, I feel like there's some misconceptions about God's will or not will or God's plan or not his plan. Um, so because there, there's ways we evaluate it. Okay. Sometimes we, we do it this way. Like if God opens a door,
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Right? Okay. He's open and shut a door.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
Yeah. Yeah. He shut this door and he opened that door. Yeah. Okay. I'm not saying that he doesn't ever do that, that he doesn't work that way. But if that's our way of evaluating, there's been times in our lives that there's been many doors open. Yeah. Then how do you know?
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Well, we came to the conclusion that he would let us walk through anyone
Speaker 2 (37:45):
That was Yeah. That was one of 'em. But what if all the doors had closed, then are you saying, Well then he just hasn't yet shown me his, Well what if his will is not that direction at all? Like, if, if we simplify how we know God's will or way, um, there, there's these, I think we've oversimplified trying to navigate what is God's point for it. Yeah. Deciphering it. But when I, and I, I think there are sometimes that he makes things very clear, but I think God's given us more instruction in his word, on how we're just to be and respond in life.
Speaker 1 (38:27):
So without labeling, this is from God, this isn't, or this is my plan, this is his. You're just saying how we respond to any situation matters.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
Yeah. Because, uh, you just talked about, you know, how we respond or, uh, this is from God and this isn't often, you know, just how I, we would never plan hardship. Mm-hmm. often when something good happens that's from God, Oh, this good thing, this blessing, this is from God. But you know what, you know, also gives good things the devil. Yeah. The devil offered so many good things to Jesus. That's
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Tempted him is what it was called. And Jesus said, Yeah, that may be true, but this is also true. And use scripture right back at the devil to, to get to God's actual will, not his, um, out of context will. And so I think there's this, there's dangers in oversimplifying, like, well, this door opened, like, okay, well lots of doors could open. We could pursue something hard enough and get what we want. This happens all the time. The Bible actually even talks about this and how we can pursue something long enough. Eventually God's gonna just give it to us. He's like, Okay, I don't want you to have it, but you haven't stopped going for that thing. So here now it's yours. Let's see how that works out. Now I'm the way I'm talking, I don't know if God talks that way. So don't I'm not, I don't wanna characterize God that way, but, but we should be careful because we could want something bad enough and then get that thing and then attribute it to God and say, See, God wanted me to have this also. Mm-hmm. , but that's may not be the case. God's a gentleman and he's not gonna just impose himself on us. Again, I'm probably gonna ruffle some for feathers, but I just, I just think sometimes we've, we're, we're, we're looking for something clearer when God's just looking for obedience.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Mm. That's really
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Good. We're like, God, which way? Like, well, how are you gonna, what's your attitude?
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Yeah. Right now, everything he talks about with attitude, the, the posture of your heart, uh, character,
Speaker 2 (40:25):
How we treat
Speaker 1 (40:26):
People, how we treat people, like everything's in his word. That we need to be equipped to handle any circumstance or any situation. And
Speaker 2 (40:33):
That's what the Bible even teaches us, is that the, the word of God is sufficient Yeah. For those things. So even though you may think, well, the word of God doesn't tell me which job to take. You're right. It doesn't,
Speaker 1 (40:44):
But it tells you how to be a good steward of your job.
Speaker 2 (40:48):
Yeah. Well, and also how to, to pursue. And it talks about the, the, the, the needfulness of work and that we should all, like, men should be working and working
Speaker 1 (40:57):
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Lord, do all things into the Lord. So when we say like, Well, how do you know something's from the Lord? Well, well, God's going to use all of our circumstances to, for our own
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Good us Yeah. And to glorify Him.
Speaker 2 (41:12):
So Right. I, I i it almost as futile to say, Oh, that car accident was from the devil, but you don't know. God wants to use it for his glory and for your good, whatever the circumstance. And so I, I don't, again, I I could be wrong, there's probably people disagreeing there right now, but I don't know if the point should be finding out like, is this in God's plan or my plan versus am I walking in the spirit with…