Develop a healthy relationship to fear. Can fear be a healthy driver of our lives? Listen to find out more!
Full Episode Transcript (With References on WhoYouNeeded.com)
[00:00:00] *Who You Needed Soundtrack*
The theme of this week is “life's biggest questions”. Today I asked myself: What are you really afraid of? I unpack why I'm afraid of publishing episodes every day and my thought process and publishing it and the vulnerability of it all.
[00:00:46] Starting my new segment called Helen's latest Amazon purchases. If there's something that you should know about me, you should know that I love books. I love learning. I love growing and I just love cultivating a good heart culture, which means that I want my inner world to really flourish. I've purchased is “The One Thing by Gary Keller”. It's a book about focus and I've only gotten a few pages in the number. One thing I'm learning is that sometimes when we fail to realize our life's mission, everything becomes important.
[00:01:31] So make the main thing, the main thing just as a nerd geeking out moment, I didn't realize how this topic of talking about the books that I'm reading really fed into our conversation about fear. Because it does…a lot of people get this wrong. A lot of people think that not focusing on the fear actually makes us braver, but it's the focus on the fear that actually makes us better.
[00:02:00] Let me tell you why there's a book that was written by Jay Shetty called Think Like a Monk. This concept really changed the way that I viewed my fear. In the second chapter of his book, he talks about really sitting with the root of the fear and cultivating a kind relationship to his fear because when we suppress the fear, we subconsciously manifest the future that we're afraid of because we're unwilling to face life's biggest questions.
[00:02:29] What are you really afraid of? And that chapter that he wrote on fear profoundly affected me in the most positive way. Because I really dug deep, especially when it comes to this a hundred days of podcast challenge, what am I really afraid of? And in the beginning, I thought not scared of anything. I'm doing this a hundred days of podcasts on my own, but if I'm being vulnerable with you today, which is the whole center crux of this podcast, I have to admit that I was afraid of failure, but an underneath that fear of failure was.
[00:03:00] The fear of not being enough and underneath that was being taken back to memories of rejection and feeling like I wasn't enough for me that I could never be enough. And if I didn't. Come to the realization. I wouldn't be speaking with you about it today. I want to give you another analogy on mindfulness and I'll put the links to these resources in the bio as well of the book and the video that I'm about to mention.
[00:03:26] But there's this amazing video that I saw. There are these two wolves in our lives. There's the good Wolf, which are our good characteristics. And then there is our anger in our hatred. When we fight with the Bad Wolf. It only makes the bad Wolf bigger, but when we seek to listen and understand the dark shadows of ourselves, we tame our dark shadows and life's biggest questions are ultimately developing a healthy relationship with our darkness.
[00:03:54] If anything, fear is a signal. That something is beyond our limits. So, to start developing a better relationship of it, when I was younger, I used to think that anger was a horrible emotion and shouldn't be expressed based on my own life experiences. And then I realized that sometimes there are healthy ways of reacting to anger.
[00:04:14] That conflict can also be a healthy way of growing a relationship and communicating honestly with another human being. And I hope this helps you in some way today of serving and cultivating a deeper relationship with their dark shadows. I'm going to be unpacking this concept more in later episodes.
[00:04:31] The purpose of this week is really asking those really hard questions. And I'm publishing an episode in a few days with my friend Tom corner, who overcame self-harm and self-hatred and how he got there. And it's ultimately a gradual process. I also spoke to my good friend, Greg Bornstein, who is the host of the open loops podcast.
[00:04:54] And he explores hypnotism with me and a cool concept. I haven't heard before called gorilla ontology. He's also into paranormal activity and whether or not he believes that kind of stuff. So, I'm going to be unpacking a lot of very interesting topics within the next few days. And I hope you join me.
[00:05:11] Can't wait to talk to you soon. Another day. Another podcast. See you tomorrow.