Dirty Water: The BeachGrit Podcast featuring Chas Smith and Derek Rielly
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Dirty Water is a one-hour hit of fruitless discourse where opinion is everything and facts rarely matter. Hosted by best-selling authors Chas Smith and Derek Rielly.
Available episodes
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Aug 9, 2022
Malibu realtor dubbed “Angriest Man in Surfing” details wild struggle as enforcer at world's most crowded wave, “People think I’m crazy but I’m trying to regulate a crowd of f$#king idiots!”
Today’s guest Andy Lyon is the Malibu realtor and First Point surfer of fifty years who achieved a considerable notoriety recently when he threw a rock into another man’s surfboard following an entanglement, the video of the event going viral.
He lost his job, had his address published and a beat down was suggested his four year old kid Glider.
Lyon represents a vanishing era where lineups were harshly policed with a clearly defined pecking order, a limpid simplicity greased with the underlying threat of violence.
The highlight, for me, of this interview is our guest’s reply to the posit that Malibu is a sissy wave for old men and girls, not sissy old men who beat up on girls.
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Aug 4, 2022
Peter Mel on fist fighting, his bombshell wave at Mavericks and the reckless flirtation with Methamphetamine that nearly put him behind bars, “When you’re at your lowest it feels nothing can help you!”
Mel, who is fifty-three, no longer has the foaming jaws of a meth addict. Today he is the sort of man who loves his children with a passion, his parents with respect, his wife with generosity and his friends with loyalty.
He wears slightly too big flannel shirts and pants with stone washing applied at the factory.
On January 8 last year, Pete rode a thirty-foot tube at Mavs.
“Everyone on earth should see this ride,” said Kelly Slater.
In this interview, Pete talks about how he stuck his lance into that monster thirty-foot wave at Maverick's neck, how he was lucky to avoid jail during his meth years and the mysterious beauty of BeachGrit's below-the-line commentators.
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Jul 16, 2022
Dirty Water with existentialist Julian Wilson, “I thought I watched Bruce Irons die in front of me, I thought I watched Nathan Fletcher die in front of me, I thought I was going to die!”
This episode of Dirty Water hits a high-water mark as Ben Mondy peels layers from "the best surfer in his generation never to win a world title" Julian Wilson.
Many revelations, including Julian's arrest as a teen, the day he stared death in the face, not just his own, but Bruce Irons', Nathan Fletcher's and Maya Gaberia's, how he was forced to become the family breadwinner at fifteen after his mama got hit with breast cancer and why he wanted to beat hell out of a fellow competitor.
Essential.
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Jul 2, 2022
Dirty Water with eighties superstar Gary "Kong" Elkerton
Today’s guest on Dirty Water brought a brutal, but beautiful, savagery to professional surfing.
His fav tee featured a skull and the slogan Kill Em All God Will Sort Em Out and he was the star of the Quiksilver ad If You Can’t Rock and Roll Don’t Fucken Come.
He’s a three-time runner up to the world title, two of ‘em in excruciatingly controversial circumstances, although he evened the ledger a little later in his career by winning three Masters world titles.
He was the King of Sunset, a Pipeline Master and had the extraordinary ability to gain fifteen pounds for added ballast during the Hawaiian season, then shred thirty prior to hitting the small wave events.
But as my old friend Rob Bain told me recently, as the legend fades, and real life starts to stare back at you it’s a challenge to navigate the autumn years in peaceful contentment.
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Jun 16, 2022
World champ Barton Lynch on being outed as a "commie", living on "stolen land" and the wild viral success of his Karl Marx beard “It was the most thoughtful and deliberate conversation I've ever had!"
Rarely do I get as much pleasure as when the telephone connects to the 1988 world champion Barton Lynch, who cinched his title at perfect eight-to-twelve-foot Pipeline but is now more famous for his oratorical gymkhanas on WSL broadcasts.
A few days ago, BeachGrit outed Barton as a filthy communist bastard, which you can read here, and which was swiftly refuted, here.
A very good time to pick up the telephone, I figured.
And, reader, I do wish this was a video broadcast, just so you could see the way his three-month beard twitches and his body quivers with excitement when points are made.
You may not always, or ever, agree with Barton, but he makes for great company.
And, it’s a pantomime I was thrilled to be a part of. – Derek Rielly
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May 3, 2022
Former rookie of the year Ryan Callinan, sacrificed on altar of mid-tour cut, on the “weight of prophecy” and the pain of “fading into nothingness”!
In this episode of Dirty Water, Newcastle surfer Ryan Callinan talks about the mid-tour cut, and his opinion will surprise – he digs it!
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Apr 27, 2022
Grajagan pioneer Peter McCabe on running kilos of Bolivian cocaine, raising hell into his sixties and being “bent over” by yoga queen Gerry Lopez!
A thrill, this episode, to feature the Australian goofyfooter and shaper Peter McCabe, one of the pioneers of surfing in Indonesia, including G-Land with his yoga queen pal Gez Lopez. McCabe also talks about the drug-running episode, moving a keg of pure Bolivian ether-washed coke that led to his imprisonment on a Pacific Island for a year and a half, that featured in the still never-released documentary Sea of Darkness.
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Apr 19, 2022
Adam “Vaughan Dead” Blakey, director of hit surf film, one half of the long-running Ain’t That Swell podcast and frontman of the Goons of Doom
*The last time we saw Adam “Vaughan Dead” Blakey, director of hit surf film, one half of the long-running Ain’t That Swell podcast and frontman of the Goons of Doom, *he was at last year’s Newcastle contest squawking ecstatically, as if he wanted to seize Ryan Callinan in his arms and pull him down between his thighs.
When his hind legs aren’t quivering and he’s easing his crimson dingus out, Vaughan is a man who straddles better than anybody the the fine line between positive noise and toxic slime.
He loves the BeachGrit commentariat, says “It’s the funniest place ever, the amount of energy and fucking brains going into so much tear down… it might be the number place in the world for that style of comedy.”
Loves it but he don’t engage.
"I don’t feel smart enough to properly articulate myself in that way… I'm terrified to try and defend myself. When you love everything you open yourself to be torn down by some really smart people.”
A startlingly original and hard-boiled lover of surfing.
Essential.
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Apr 11, 2022
Breakthrough big-wave surfer Mason Barnes on riding a 126.5-foot wave, "When it came in it looked terrifying. I almost didn't go!"
One month ago, a little-known surfer from North Carolina shattered the 100-foot wave barrier at Portugal's Nazaré. View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Mason Hyce Barnes (@masonhycebarnes)
In this episode of Dirty Water, Mason reveals to BeachGrit's Ben Mondy what it's like to be dragged into a wave that would be measured at 126.5 feet.
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Apr 9, 2022
Ronnie "Skull" Hill, the king of jetboarding, ruler of Shark Island
*If you were in Sydney at the end of March, y’would’ve thrown yourself into the dreamiest of four-to-six-foot barrels, *pretty wedges wiped smooth by an all-day north-west wind.
Day of the year at most places, one of the best days ever at my local etc.
At Cronulla, home to some of the city’s finest reefs including but not limited to Voodoo and Shark Island, spectators were thrilled when local legend Ronnie “Skull” Hill fired up his homemade jet-board at the Island, scooping up waves from outside and deep on the reef, before riding to glory.
Following a post on the Instagram account @sufads, however, the figurative knives came out from surfers apparently jealous of Skull’s innovative and effective approach to wave-riding.
After wathcing this i think im now done with surfing forever.”
“Tbh you have to give the man credit, he has been a pest at shark island for years however on Sunday during a bodyboard comp managed to run through the lineup for about 30 mins. Every single person there told him to fuck off and he just kept doing laps kinda finding it funny hahahahahahaha.”
“Is this guy trolling? Looks like hes really trying to piss off the lids??”
“…this warrants violence.”
Are you pro or anti-jet-board? I’m in the former camp though fear I may be in the minority.
This interview took place at Island Inflatables at Menai, just west of Cronulla, where Ronnie has a workshop and where one may examine his miraculous surf-craft.
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Feb 15, 2022
Dirty Water Episode 52 with Steve Sherman
The Dirty Water Dudes are back to have Steve Sherman on the mic!
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Jan 14, 2022
Dirty Water, episode 51, with Jon von Tesmar
The Gents are back in the New Year to sit down with Kite Surfer, Jon von Tesmar. Enjoy!
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Dec 16, 2021
Dirty Water, episode 50, with former world #2 Brad Gerlach
Today’s guest is the son of a Hungarian Olympian who later became a stuntman, and who became famous, in 1971, for jumping out of a hot air balloon and into a three-foot thick foam pad.
Our guest retired from the tour at twenty five to pursue the “the artistic side of surfing”. He was one of the first surfers to ride Cortes Bank, one hundred miles out to sea, and and, in 2005, won sixty-eight thousand dollars by riding a sixty-eight foot wave at Todos Santos.
He is even lovelier now than when he was at his professional surfing peak in the eighties and nineties.
He wears fiery little hats in bottle green, spectacles that shave years off his biological age and his lean body betrays a carnal fluency.
Today’s guest, Brad Gerlach.
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Nov 15, 2021
Episode #50 Featuring David Rensin
Dirty Water #50 with David Rensin, the celebrated author of Miki Dora biography, All For a Few Perfect Waves.
Rensin transcribed one million words in the pursuit of the truth, relatively speaking, of Miki Dora, surfing’s great Voodoo god, for his book All For a Few Perfect Waves.
Dora was style in the water, suits out of it, convertibles, Hollywood and movie stars.
He was also a thief, a scammer and an impossible loner who travelled the world chasing adventure and empty waves, his only real friend a King Charles spaniel called Scooter Boy.
Rensin has been a surfer since the sixties and is an author whose skills make me dizzy.
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Nov 9, 2021
Episode #49 Featuring Sid Abruzzi
Dirty Water, episode forty nine, and today’s guest is described by BeachGrit writer Steve Rees, as the “most famous surf shop owner in the world” and “Part animal―Part machine―Part idiot.”
While other surf shop owners obsequiously lick the boots of the clothing majors, for this is where the cash is, he sticks to his Buell wetsuits and custom boards.
If you don’t know where his little surf shop is in Newport, Rhode Island, well, good luck finding it. He don’t have a website.
He is seventy years old, still rides a six-one and he is a skilled persuader for he knows how to worm his way into a tired heart.
Today’s guest, Mr Sid Abruzzi.
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Oct 30, 2021
Episode #48 Featuring Koa Smith
The guys are back again with another top surfer in Koa Smith. Enjoy this episode with one of the cast members of ABC's Ultimate Surfer!
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Oct 24, 2021
Dirty Water #47 Featuring Maurice Cole
Another great show, another great guest for the Dirty Water Duo. Enjoy, as another great from the surfing world, Maurice Cole, drops in to chat with the fellas!
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Oct 16, 2021
Dirty Water #46 Featuring Alejandro Moreda
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Oct 9, 2021
Dirty Water #45 Featuring Malia Ward
The guys are joined once again for another awesome show. This time with breakout star of ABC’s The Ultimate Surfer, Malia Ward. Enjoy the show!
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Oct 6, 2021
Dirty Water #44 Featuring Lucy Small
The fellas are joined for another awesome episode by guest Lucy Small. On this one they discuss the fight for equal prize money amongst men and women, with the female surfing champ. Thanks for coming on Lucy, and enjoy all!
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Sep 5, 2021
Dirty Water #43 - Featuring Anastasia Ashley
Join the gents for another great episode with professional surfer Anastasia Ashley!
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Aug 27, 2021
Dirty Water #42 - Featuring Peter Maguire
After a 6th month hiatus, Dirty Water makes it's triumphant return. They're joined by Peter Maguire, who's a surfer, turned war crimes investigator and author. A lot to unpack on this great episode. Enjoy the show.
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Mar 30, 2021
Dirty Water #41 - Featuring Luke Stedman
Derek and Chas talk with former CT #10, BJJ purple belt and fashion entrepreneur Luke Stedman
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Mar 28, 2021
Dirty Water #40 - Featuring Brett Simpson
Derek and Chas talk with US Olympic Surf Coach and former CT surfer, Brett Simpson.
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Jan 8, 2021
Dirty Water #39 - Featuring Steve 'Longtom' Shearer
Derek Rielly and Chas Smith rap whimsical with BeachGrit's tour correspondent Steve 'Longtom' Shearer.
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Dec 14, 2020
Dirty Water #38 - Featuring Scott Caan
Derek and Chas talk with actor, Scott Caan
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Nov 28, 2020
Dirty Water #37 - Featuring Neco Padaratz
Derek and Chas talk with Brazilian professional surfer Neco Padaratz
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Nov 20, 2020
Dirty Water #36 - Featuring Sean Doherty
Derek and Chas speak with surf journalist, author and activist Sean Doherty
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Nov 13, 2020
Dirty Water #35 - Featuring Mark 'Occy' Occhilupo
Derek and Chas speak with former world champion and surfing icon, Mark 'Occy' Occhilupo
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Nov 5, 2020
Dirty Water #34 - Featuring Ian 'Kanga' Cairns
Derek and Chas speak with big wave surfer and the man many call the founder of professional surfing Ian 'Kanga' Cairns
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Oct 23, 2020
Dirty Water #33 - Featuring Barton Lynch
Derek speaks with 1988 World Champion, Australian Sporting Hall of Fame member, and founder of BL's Blast Off - Barton Lynch.
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Oct 17, 2020
Dirty Water #32 - Featuring Wayne Cleveland
Derek talks with big wave surfer and convicted drug smuggler, Wayne Cleveland
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Oct 1, 2020
Dirty Water #31 - Featuring Michael Oblowitz
Derek and Chas speak with film maker Michael Oblowitz
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Sep 20, 2020
Dirty Water #30 - The BeachGrit Show
Derek, Chas and Steve 'Longtom' Shearer regather to discuss the current state of the union
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Sep 11, 2020
Dirty Water #29 - Featuring Chris Burkard
Derek and Chas talk with world-renowned photographer and film maker Chris Burkard
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Sep 1, 2020
Dirty Water #28 - Featuring Mark Mathews
Derek and Chas chat with legendary big wave surfer and motivational speaker, Mark Mathews
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Aug 26, 2020
Dirty Water #27 - Featuring Peter Schroff
Derek and Chas chat with surfboard shaper, provocateur, and world-famous sissy boy Peter Schroff
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Aug 22, 2020
Dirty Water #26 - Featuring Greg Webber
Derek and Chas talk with renowned shaper, wave pool innovator and intellectual Greg Webber
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Aug 17, 2020
Dirty Water #25 - Featuring Shane Beschen #2
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Aug 11, 2020
Dirty Water #24 - Rumble at the Ranch Post Show
Derek, Chas and Longtom talk the Rumble at the Ranch, Pat Curren's current situation, US politics and more.
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Aug 5, 2020
Dirty Water #23 - Featuring Kai Lenny
Derek and Chas talk with former Waterman of the Year and big wave surfer, Kai Lenny
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Aug 1, 2020
Dirty Water #22 - The BeachGrit Show
Derek, Chas and Longtom get together to talk all things... This weeks episode features Kelly Slater trolls, the WSL's Rumble at the Ranch, Great White Sharks, Chas' new book Reports From Hell and more.
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Jul 29, 2020
Dirty Water #21 - Featuring Bobby Martinez
Derek and Chas talk with former world number five and fan favourite, Bobby Martinez.
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Jul 21, 2020
Dirty Water #20 - Featuring Britt Merrick
Derek and Chas talk with famed surfboard shaper Britt Merrick of Channel Islands Surfboards.
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Jul 10, 2020
Dirty Water #19 - Featuring Caio Ibelli
Derek and Chas talk with Brazilian professional surfer and perennial underdog, Caio Ibelli.
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Jul 4, 2020
Dirty Water #18 - The BeachGrit Show
Derek and Chas are joined by Steve 'Longtom' Shearer for a BeachGrit in-house discussion on the current state of surf and more
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Jun 26, 2020
Dirty Water #17 - Featuring Jeremy Flores
Derek talks with 2 x Pipe Master and 14 year World-Tour veteran, Jeremy Flores.
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Jun 21, 2020
Dirty Water #16 - Featuring Shane Beschen
Derek and Chas talk with former professional surfer and current coach and businessman, Shane Beschen.
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Jun 13, 2020
Dirty Water #15 - Featuring Kolohe Andino
Derek and Chas talk to professional surfer, Kolohe Andino
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Jun 11, 2020
Dirty Water #14 - Featuring Tom Lochtefeld
Derek and Chas are joined by the granddaddy of wave pools, Tom Lochtefeld
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Jun 2, 2020
Dirty Water #13 - Featuring Ben Gravy
Derek and Chas are joined by YouTube surf sensation, Ben Gravy.
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May 30, 2020
Dirty Water #12 - Featuring Steve 'Longtom' Shearer
Derek and Chas jump back in with the world's most reverred surf journalist and BeachGrit writer Steve 'Longtom' Shearer
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May 27, 2020
Dirty Water #11 - Featuring Wade Goodall
Derek and Chas are joined by the star of 2020's hottest surf film, Van's Pentacoastal, Wade Goodall.
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May 23, 2020
Dirty Water #10 - Featuring Cheyne Magnusson
Derek and Chas are joined by Palm Springs Surf Club founder, former professional surfer and wave pool pioneer, Cheyne Magnusson
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May 16, 2020
Dirty Water #9 - Featuring Jon Pyzel
Derek and Chas are joined by famed surfboard shaper, Jon Pyzel.
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May 9, 2020
Dirty Water #8 - Featuring CJ Hobgood
Derek and Chas are joined by Salty Crew founder, southern fried chicken surfing hillbilly, 2001 world champion CJ Hobgood
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May 2, 2020
Dirty Water #7 - Featuring Steve 'Longtom' Shearer
Derek and Chas are joined by BeachGrit’s most popular writer, a man who turns each day of a WCT event into a piece of Russian literature, Steve 'Longtom' Shearer.
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Apr 28, 2020
Dirty Water #6 - Featuring Erik Logan & Pat O'Connell
Derek and Chas are joined by World Surf League CEO Erik 'E-Lo' Logan and SVP of Tours & Head of Competition (also 1998 World #11) Pat O'Connell
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Apr 24, 2020
Dirty Water #5 - Featuring Matt 'Mayhem' Biolos
Derek and Chas are going by the master shaper, the Bear Jew, Lost surfboards’ Matt “Mayhem” Biolos.
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Apr 18, 2020
Dirty Water #4 - Featuring Luke Cederman (@RaglanSurfReport)
Derek and Chas are joined by New Zealand's finest screw foot, professed "comedian" and proprietor of @raglansurfreport
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Apr 11, 2020
Dirty Water #3 - Featuring Andrew Kidman & Longtom
Derek and Chas are joined by film maker, shaper, artist, and photographer Andrew Kidman along with BeachGrit's star writer and the number one journalist in surf, Steve 'Longtom' Shearer.
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Apr 4, 2020
Dirty Water #2 - Derek and Chas
In this episode, there is critical discussion on the COVID-19 debate amongst surfers and the new leaders rising amongst localism, why Derek believes HBO's Momentum Generation is the greatest surf film in history, the WSL's current short-comings and Chas' inside tales from shelved past projects.
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Mar 29, 2020
Dirty Water #1 - Derek and Chas
In this episode, there is critical discussion on the juvenile nature of bodysurfing, Matt Biolos' crusade against the Commie peril in California, why the heterosexual man shouldn't fear "delicious dick" and the the eternal appeal of nineties songbird, Kelly Slater.
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