Episode 15: The Grand Termite, Tattoo Stories, and Mexican Bird Baths
Kathleen opens the show with her first guest of the Pubcast, her best friend and Grand Termite comedian Ron White. They offer their opinions of the four Pub guests: Dolly Parton, Stevie Nicks, Cher, and Tanya Tucker and Ron discloses that he feels that Stevie is the most talented of them all because he’s a massive rock fan and thinks Stevie is a great songwriter. Ron and Kathleen toast the opening of the Pub this week with Bloody Maria’s made with Ron’s tequila company, Number JUAN Tequila which listeners can order at taterstequila.com
WHOLE MILK AND THE WIZARD OF OZ: Ron and Kathleen disclose their mutual ongoing love for whole milk AND their childhood terror when watching The Wizard of Oz. Ron had nightmares about the flying monkeys, and Kathleen was always afraid of being lost.
DOLLY PARTON QUOTE: Kathleen reads a Dolly quote to Ron involving being your most authentic self.
“GAS STATION or ROAD” FOOD: In continuing her search for best not-so-nutritious fast food, Kathleen and Ron define true “gas station food” and their love of Red Lobster, as they sample the restaurant’s cheddar bay biscuits as made by Kathleen earlier in the day. The pair move on to taste Wendy’s Baconator Pringles potato chips, and celebrate their Canadian fans with a nod to Ruffles All-Dressed chips (a must-buy when the tour bus crosses the Northern border.)
RON’S NAVY CAREER: Ron tells the story of his tour in the Navy, and how he originally joined out of high school because he was offered free Houston Astros tickets by the recruiter. He rose the ranks to become a quartermaster, and was stationed at Pearl Harbor on the USS Conserver. Ron’s military career ended with a bucket of fried chicken, rare elephant weed, and Spanada wine, resulting in his company commander calling Ron “a hole in our national line of defense.”
MEXICAN TILE FACTORY: Ron tells Kathleen the backstory about when he followed his impetuous nature and left the US for a few years destined for Reynosa, Mexico to start a Mexican tile factory and make tile-encrusted tables, vases, and bird baths. Ron returned to the States after three years and joined Jeff Foxworthy in forming the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, and gifted the factory to the Mexican locals upon his departure from Reynosa.
CRUISE SHIPS IN A PANDEMIC: Kathleen and Ron review the current state of the cruise ship industry amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, since the first cruise ship has set sail since March has reported coronavirus cases onboard five days into its voyage, and they discuss their desire to go on a cruise in pandemic times or not. Kathleen hates the buffet and the small “Chilean miner shower,” and Ron agrees that he doesn’t like cruise ship food and also prefers to travel to a single location and stay for a holiday.
RON WHITE DAY: Ron tells the story of when he was granted the key to a city in Texas, April 27th was officially deemed “Ron White Day” by Governor Rick Perry. He was happy that his felony record was expunged by the governor, and he is now free to roam around the world.
TATTOO STORIES: Kathleen has no tattoos, but Ron tells the story of his Mr. Peanut-like worm tattoo and how it came to be on his right shoulder while he was stationed in the Navy.
CANADIAN BORDER CROSSING: Now that Ron’s criminal record is clean, he and Kathleen discuss their adventures while crossing the Canadian border to perform in Canada. Both love the city of Montreal, and talk about their experiences at the famous Montreal Comedy Festival “Just For Laughs.” Ron tells listeners that another one of his favorite cities in North America is Santa Barbara, CA. He loves the sleepiness of the downtown, and one of his favorite restaurants on the planet was also Juila Childs’ favorite place to eat: a Mexican restaurant in Montecito (near Santa Barbara) called La Super Rica Taqueria.
WHAT TO WATCH THIS WEEK: Kathleen and Ron have started watching “The Crown” (Season 4) on Netflix, and are rewatching “Roadies” on Showtime in which Ron plays the part of “Phil,” who is the tour manager of the band in the series.
MISSOURI SECRET SUPER SPREADER HOMECOMING: Kathleen reads an article to listeners about parents in the small town of Rolla, MO hosted an unsanctioned homecoming dance at a local steakhouse, which ultimately forced the local health department to devote all its resources to one fiasco and nudging the high school back to full-on virtual learning. The event was secretly spread via Facebook, and both Ron and Kathleen make their opinions of the dark side of the social media platform known.
CLOSING REMARKS: The Grand Termite tucks in listeners with his famous “Night Night, Termite” wishes, and he and Kathleen head out to play golf.