How To Save Your Marriage
Play • 32 min

Lauren and Carlos are afraid their marriage is at a breaking point. With Carlos out of work, an active toddler to care for, and another child on the way, Lauren and Carlos are feeling pressures familiar to many newlyweds—and the pandemic has only made it worse. Can we help this couple find their way back to each other? On this episode of How To!, we bring on John and Julie Gottman, who are not only co-founders of The Gottman Institute and co-authors of Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love, but also have been married to each other for more than three decades. They help Lauren and Carlos begin to heal their relationship with tips that can apply to all couples. For starters, you are not your partner’s therapist, Julie says. Looking for patterns in their behavior will only drive you further away from understanding each other.

If you liked this episode, check out “How To Tame a Chaotic Household.”

Could you use some relationship advice? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Good Life Project
Good Life Project
Jonathan Fields / Wondery
Live Life Colorfully | Jason Naylor
I first learned about today’s guest, Jason Naylor, through his art, which at that point, started appearing on walls and buildings all over New York City, and now is featured all over the world and on products, shows, in fashion and beyond. Jason is originally from Salt Lake City, Utah, where he grew up in a Mormon community and eventually felt called to step away and define his own path. After getting his BFA in graphic design from Brigham Young, he moved to New York City where he began his career in MAC Cosmetics’ Creative Department as a designer, but the whole time, he was creating his own work and starting to paint these hyper-vivid murals on walls around the city, often featuring inspirational words and quotes on the side. His style just kind of exploded with energy and kindness and playfulness.  As his work caught on, leading to more and bigger commissions and collaborations with companies like Coach, Sephora, and Pepsi, he left his full-time gig and went all-in on his own art, now running his own brand, Jason Naylor Studio, where he continues to share his positivity through murals, graphic pieces, and collaborations with New York City communities, as well as popular brands. Much of his work and his philosophy of life and creativity appears in his new book, Live Life Colorfully (https://tinyurl.com/yy4mopvp). You can find Jason Naylor at: Website : https://jasonnaylor.nyc/ Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/jasonnaylor/ Check out our offerings & partners:  Air Doctor: Professional quality, medical-grade UltraHEPA air filter that's 100X more effective than ordinary air purifiers. Go to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code GOODLIFE and you’ll receive a 35% discount. NuCalm: Patented neuroscience technology clinically proven to reduce stress & improve sleep. Quickly and easily balance your autonomic nervous system, every time, without drugs. Go to GoodLifeNuCalm.com and get 50% off your 30-day subscription of NuCalm and their money-back guarantee. Care/of: Get vitamins and supplements for your health goals and diet, made from the best ingredients, shipped to you each month. For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code GOODLIFE50.
1 hr 5 min
3 Books With Neil Pasricha
3 Books With Neil Pasricha
Neil Pasricha: Bestselling Author
Chapter 70: Brené Brown on building boundaries and the beacon of bell
3 Books is a completely insane and totally epic 15-year-long quest to uncover the 1000 most formative books in the world. Each chapter is hosted live and in-person at the guest's preferred location by Neil Pasricha, New York Times bestselling author of The Book of Awesome, The Happiness Equation, Two-Minute Mornings, etc. Each chapter of 3 Books uncovers and discusses the three most formative books from one of the world's most inspiring people. Sample guests include: Judy Blume, David Sedaris, Chris Anderson of TED, the founder of the world's largest feminist magazine, the world's greatest Uber driver, Pete Holmes, Angie Thomas, and Malcolm Gladwell. Each of the 333 chapters is dropped on the exact minute of every single new moon and full moon until September 1, 2031. 3 Books is an Apple "Best Of" award-winning show and 100% ad-free, commercial-free, sponsor-free, and interruption-free. For more info check out: https://www.3books.co Chapter Description: Leslie and I had just started dating when she sent me a short clip of Brené Brown explaining the difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy is climbing down into the hole with somebody and saying “Hey, I know what it’s like down here, and you’re not alone.” Sympathy is poking your head in the top of the hole and saying “Ooo! It’s bad, uh-huh!” Brené’s simple-sounding words created such a profound paradigm shift that we still use the line “Come down to the hole with me” in our relationship when we’re looking for deeper understanding (i.e., trying to get out of a fight.) That clip was the beginning of Brené Brown’s incredible work entering our marriage. When we found out we were going to have a baby Leslie printed out Brené Brown’s Parenting Manifesto and put it up on our wall. Leslie took Brené’s Kitchen Table Parenting Classes and we sat together watching her viral TED Talks, The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame. I gave Leslie a copy of Daring Greatly on the day she gave a speech to her old high school and I was lucky to see Brené give a talk at a conference full of A-listers where hers was the only talk punctuated throughout the speech with standing ovation after standing ovation. Her wisdom may sound simple but it just hits you like a ton of bricks. Many of her lessons have themselves become tendons in our relationship including the phrase, “The story I’m telling myself is…” which we use to navigate tough conversations and not lay blame. Her #1 New York Times bestsellers Daring Greatly, The Gifts of Imperfection, Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong and Dare to Lead grace our shelves and often lie beside our bed. We turn to them again and again. We loved her Netflix special The Call to Courage and her hit podcasts — yes, plural! — Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead featuring a lot of no-name guests like President Barack Obama, Dolly Parton, and President-Elect Joe Biden. I mean: come on! Brené is a North Star to so many. Teachers, CEOs, movie stars, Oprah, and even Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are amongst her legion of fans. She is doing so much good in a world full of anxiety, grief, misunderstanding and miscommunication. She is the beacon we all need. It was a huge privilege to sit down and interview Brené together with my wife Leslie. We loved this intimate and wide-ranging conversation discussing questions like: How do we truly honor our partners? What is the value of ordinary moments? How do we actually operationalize love? And, of course, what are Brené Brown’s 3 most formative books? Are you ready? Please sit back and enjoy Chapter 70 with the one and only … Brené Brown. Let’s go! What You'll Learn: * How do we make time for friends? * How do we find contentment within our sphere of influence? * What does it mean to be spiritually fit? * Why is it so critical to set boundaries with family and friends? * What is the difference between being sweet and being kind? * How can a classroom be transformed into a sacred space? * What does it take to be a great teacher? * What is meant by the phrase “education as the practice of freedom”? * How can we better train teachers to be agents of change? * What is a love ethic? * What is a pandemic of lovelessness? * How can we learn to love? You can find show notes and more information by clicking here: https://www.3books.co/chapters/70 Leave us a voicemail. Your message may be included in a future episode: 1-833-READ-A-LOT. Sign up to receive podcast updates here: https://www.3books.co/email-list
1 hr 18 min
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