Your Confident Self
Allegra M. Sinclair
Subscribe
Allegra Sinclair is a life and confidence coach. The Your Confident Self Podcast focuses on increasing self-confidence and self-esteem and helping you reclaim your life. Each episode provides tips and motivation for helping women be their most powerful selves and do work they love.
Show notes can be found at https://allegrasinclair.com/podcast
Available episodes
Newest first
Oldest first
Jan 3, 2023
How to Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It
In this week's episode of the Your Confident Self podcast, Allegra Sinclair interviews Trynette Lariba, the Curvy Fit RN. Trynette's programs challenge women to love their bodies unconditionally and accept who they are to help them fulfill their purpose. Trynette shared her experience going against what society portrays as normal and how she encourages women to stand out. Her purpose is to help women accept their body shapes to build up their confidence and earn the money they deserve.
Submit your questions for the All Q&A Episode at podcast@allegrativity.com or visit allegrativity.com/QA
Get your Affirmations for a Curvy Woman: bit.ly/curvygift
playlist_add
Dec 13, 2022
The Forgotten Generation : Why a Gen X Career Needs More Attention
If you're a member of Gen X and tired of feeling unfulfilled by your career, this episode is for you. Kay Kirkman stops by the podcast to help you get unstuck and move toward the work you really want to do.
We discussed:
* An explanation of who Gen X is
* What makes Gen X unique from Baby Boomers or Millennials
* How Gen X can learn to communicate their value at work
* Why learning to pivot is a critical skill for this group
* Steps to building your career passion.
If you're not sure where to start with finding your career passion, get your Dream Job Discovery list from Kay at https://joyfuldreamlife.com
Full show notes are available at https://allegrativity.com/gen-x-career-the-forgotten-generation/
playlist_add
Nov 14, 2022
It's Time to Take Control of the Way You Communicate
While you may not realize it, the way you communicate affects every area of your life. From your job and your career to your personal relationships and friendships, you're constantly communicating. If you're not a skilled communicator that is an awful lot of opportunities for things to go wrong for you.
Many people aren’t good at communicating. That’s because they’re using bad communication skills without even realizing it.
There are five basic communication approaches and understanding them can be incredibly helpful when it comes to improving your communication. We are going to look at aggressive communicators, passive communicators, passive-aggressive communicators, manipulative communicators, and assertive communicators. A great way of looking at the different styles is through human behaviors.
Five styles of communicators:
* Aggressive communicators
* Passive communicators
* Passive-aggressive communicators
* Manipulative communicators
* Assertive communicators
Reviewing these five styles of communication can smack you in the face with some uncomfortable truths. You may realize you’ve been using a communication style that isn’t creating what you want in your relationships. Hang on, that's ok. You can't fix something you won't face.
Keep in mind that the purpose of learning your communication style isn’t to beat yourself up for any perceived failures or flaws. Rather, the goal here is to learn how to embrace a healthier and more confident communication style.
playlist_add
Nov 13, 2022
What Makes Your Communication Style Unique
Everyone expresses themselves differently. Your communication style can define you – it’s how you make yourself heard and your thoughts remembered. It’s the key to making meaningful connections that can influence every aspect of your life.
The way you communicate reflects your inner thoughts and feelings. Your signature communication style is a combination of the various elements that make up who you are – your values, beliefs, knowledge, culture, personality, and more – all combined. This makes your signature communication style unique.
In this episode we look at:
* How introverts communicate
* How extroverts communicate
* How your wardrobe is a form of communication
* How the way you make people feel is part of your communication style
The main takeaway is – whatever communication style you have, own it!
playlist_add
Nov 12, 2022
Find Out the Secrets of Great Listeners
If you want to become a great listener, you can. It just takes some practice and understanding of how people communicate. Being a great listener will help you develop your communication skills and ensure you have an easier time understanding what someone is saying directly and indirectly. Here are some top tips to help you take your listening skills to an even higher level.
Secrets of great listeners:
* They stay present in the conversation
* They avoid distractions when someone is communicating
* They avoid interrupting or talking over people
* They pay attention to the person's body language
* They stay curious about what is being shared
Listening is an important part of confident communication. There is a lot that can get in the way of great listening. Thankfully, these tips will help you be a more effective listener and build more confident communication skills
To get updates whenever a new episode is published visit AllegraSinclair.com/follow
playlist_add
Nov 11, 2022
The Strange Power Of Listening To Understand
Of all the great communication skills, listening may be the most important. We often think speaking is the most valuable part of communication when in fact, listening is. Being an effective listener means more than taking in information in order to respond--much more!
Listening to understand instead of listening to respond is powerful. What does listening to understand mean? Listening to understand means being fully present and engaged with the person who is speaking. It means giving them your undivided attention and trying to see things from their perspective.
Learn:
* The critical differences between hearing and listening
* Why listening to learn is more difficult than listening to respond
* Two simple tools to help you understand what is being said
Rate and review this podcast on Podchaser.
Follow this podcast at https://allegrasinclair.com/follow
playlist_add
Nov 10, 2022
Your Love Language is a Form of Communication
Gary Chapman is the creator of the Five Love Languages concept. This concept ranks the ways we give and receive love into five categories:
* Words of affirmation
* Quality time
* Physical touch
* Acts of service
* Receiving gifts
This episode may seem misplaced in a podcast series on confident communication but your love language is a form of communication. How you give and receive love is communicating to other people that you care and that they matter. When you feel connected and understood communication flows easily. Communication skills don't apply to work situations only, they apply to all areas of our lives. So, take a few minutes to think about your love language and how you can use it to build deeper relationships with the people in your life.
Love Language Quiz
Your Confident Self on Podchaser
playlist_add
Nov 9, 2022
The Most Important Thing Effective Leaders Have in Common--Communication
The most important thing effective leaders have in common is their communication skills.
Being a leader requires a lot of skill sets. Being able to communicate well is at the top of the list. If you're in leadership and you can't convey a message, bring people together, or help resolve complex problems you may not be in leadership very long. If you want to be a better leader you must improve your communication skills. It's important to increase your communication skills so you, and those depending on you, can thrive.
Leaders who can't communicate effectively will have a hard time moving up in their careers. Leaders need to be able to communicate their vision, build trust, inspire others, and provide direction. Without effective communication skills, leaders will struggle in all of these areas.
Listen to this episode to learn:
* Ways effective leaders communicate differently
* The types of commnication training effective leaders need
playlist_add
Nov 8, 2022
How to Use Nonverbal Cues for More Confident Communication
Nonverbal communication makes up the majority of what is being shared between two people. Great communication includes speaking and listening, but what you're saying is emphasized by nonverbal gestures. As we communicate, our senses take in much more than what is being said audibly. We are paying close attention to other things too. Nonverbal communication includes things like:
* Body language
* Proximity
* Gestures
* Facial expressions
* Tone of voice
Nonverbal communication is a vital part of communication. By being aware of nonverbal cues, we can better understand the message someone is trying to convey. We can also use nonverbal cues to our advantage to better communicate our own message.
Full show notes are available. at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confident-self
playlist_add
Nov 7, 2022
Pick your Battles - How to Communicate with Difficult People
Dealing with difficult people can be exhausting. Even the most confident communicator takes a deep breath before engaging with someone who is difficult. Whether it's a difficult co-worker, client or family member, there are certain communication strategies you can use to diffuse the situation and keep your peace.
It can be hard to know what to do when dealing with difficult people but silence is a valid choice.
Many people are uncomfortable with silence but it's a powerful tool.
Here you'll find:
* Tips for communicating with difficult people
* Tips for removing yourself from unhealthy conversations
Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/your-confidentself
playlist_add
Nov 6, 2022
Self-Care is Amazing: It Makes You A More Confident Communicator
Sometimes there are demands on your life that make self-care nearly impossible. As a result, self-care gets shoved way down the list of things you’d like to do but can’t or don’t. Sometimes this is temporary or situational and other times it becomes chronic. Even in the most difficult times, it is still possible to make self-care a priority.
In this episode we look at:
* What self-care has to do with communication
* What happens when self-care isn't a priority
* How you feel when you ignore self-care
* Tips for keeping self-care a priority
What does self-care have to do with communication?
Simply put, self-care makes you a better communicator. When you take care of yourself, you are able to show up as your best self in all areas of life. You have more energy and you're less stressed. When you're caring for yourself and taking time to restore and refresh, you are able to think more clearly.
All of these things lead to improved communication. This makes your communic…
playlist_add
Nov 5, 2022
How Role Models Help Develop Better Communication Skills
Confident communicators are influenced by other confident people. No one knows how to do life completely on their own. There's no instruction manual handed out when we are born. We learn about life and all there is to know through things that are taught and caught. Role models play a big part in how we develop. The stronger the role model, the stronger their influence.
Role models are everywhere. You don't need to know someone personally for them to be a role model for you. Thanks to books, movies, and social media you can find influential people who communicate well and help you develop a more confident communication style.
Here are some tips for finding high quality role models.
* Look for people who communicate with confidence
* Find role models who make you feel good about yourself
* Choose someone who is successful in the area you want to improve communication
* Find people who inspire you to be, do, and have more
* Cast a wide net over a variety of people
* C…
playlist_add
Nov 4, 2022
Bad Communication Habits Can Be Broken
In episode 85 I shared how your childhood can impact your communication style. Maybe your communication skills need some work and you have bad habits that should be broken. That's ok! You can always develop better communication skills.
The first step in dropping a bad communication habit is recognizing it and owning it. You may be unaware that you've got some poor communication habits. You can't change something you're not aware of or won't acknowledge. The good news is there's plenty you can do to identify, break, and replace your bad habits with more effective ones. Try these steps:
* Assessment
* Evaluation
* Planning
* Implementing
* Practicing
Bad communication habits can be broken! By taking the time to assess, evaluate, plan, implement and practice better communication skills, you'll develop healthier communication habits that will serve you well in all situations. Soon your bad habit will be a thing of the past. Keep a journal or get a buddy to join you for…
playlist_add
Nov 3, 2022
How to Sound Like a Confident Woman
There's nothing like communicating with a confident woman who is secure in herself. Confident women communicate with ease and leave people feeling better after spending time with them. Wouldn't it be nice to feel your best every time you communicate? You can, by focusing on your confidence!
Women who communicate confidently share some key characteristics. They:
* Tend to be more positive than negative
* Are comfortable with themselves
* Know what they want to communicate
* Are assertive
* Are respectful of others
* Are good listeners
* Uunderstand others
* Are non-judgmental
Being a confident communicator leads to any number of positive outcomes. From being non-judgmental to building better relationships, confident women top the list of effective and powerful speakers. Working on your confidence can help you improve your interpersonal skills and develop an effective communication style.
Full show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/086
playlist_add
Nov 2, 2022
How Your Childhood Sabotaged Your Communication Style
Your parents didn't do this on purpose but they may have sabotaged your communication style. If you find that you have difficulty communicating or often find yourself at odds with other people, it could be that your childhood sabotaged your communication style. We learn what we live and if you lived in a home with chaos or unhealthy forms of communication, it's likely you adopted those traits and you're still using that framework as an adult. You might not realize it, but these childhood habits are holding you back.
3 ways your childhood may have sabotaged your communication style. In your childhood:
* the key people in your life sent mixed messages
* you were unable or unwilling to be direct
* your opinions or thoughts weren't encouraged or considered
Your childhood has an impact on every aspect of your life, including how you communicate. If your childhood communications weren't healthy, it is showing up in how you relate to and communicate with others. Getting some insight…
playlist_add
Nov 1, 2022
How to Create Effective Relationships through Confident Communication
Most people are terrible communicators. This can lead to miscommunication, misunderstandings, and conflict. Confident communication is the key to effetive relationships.
Building relationships is important to everyone. No one wants to be in conflict with people and feel disconnected. Most of us are searching to build meaningful relationships at home and at work. One of the easiest ways to have meaningful relationships is to be a more confident communicator. Confident communication starts with confident people.
Confident communication is key to effective relationships. We all want to feel connected and at ease with the people around us. It’s easier than you think to become a more confident communicator. Start by being a more positive person, listening well, using good body language, asking interesting questions, and expressing genuine interest in others. When we make an effort to connect with others in this way, we create meaningful relationships that enrich our lives both professio…
playlist_add
Mar 2, 2022
What to Do if Someone Ignores Your Value at Work
We've all been there. You put in long hours, do your best work, and contribute to the team - but when it comes time for recognition or a raise, you're ignored.
It's hard not to feel devalued when you're constantly putting in effort but don't see the results. You start to doubt yourself and wonder what's wrong with you.
The good news is that you're not alone. In this episode of Your Confident Self, I'll help you understand how to recover from the disappointment and move forward. I'll also share tips on how to stay confident, improve your skills to communicate your worth and maintain a positive self-image.
playlist_add
Sep 29, 2020
Reclaiming Your Career During a Pandemic
Anna Oakes is a consultant coach and caretaker of humanity. She combines her love for humanity with her 20 plus years of corporate experience. Now the magic, the intersection of her love for humanity and her love and understanding of corporate is what she's going to share with us today. She's not talking about something that she's read about, or something that she saw on TV, or an article that she read in an airplane magazine while she was on a flight. What she's bringing today is what she knows because she has walked it, she has been on the ground. and she's walked it and talked it. And she's going to tell us how we visualize what our next best step is, how we move from where we are to where we want to be, and most importantly, how we reclaim ownership of our career in a way that lights us on fire.
In this episode we discussed:
* How COVID has affected our spirits, family and work dynamics
* How to determine what you should keep doing and what you should change
* Why now is…
playlist_add
Sep 22, 2020
What Columbo Can Teach Us About Thriving in Uncertain Times
There are some situations you don’t expect to learn anything from, like watching an episode of Columbo. I love that show, but I consider it pure entertainment and a light-version at that. I recently took a second look at it with a specific goal in mind–to consider what Columbo might say about our current uncertain times.
At times like these, we could all use a role model who knows how to thrive in the most uncertain times. Hence, my ‘research’ into Columbo. In case you haven’t seen the show, he always got the most puzzling cases to solve, or he got what seemed to be a simple case and immediately complicated it before he solved it.
In every instance, no matter how uncertain the case seemed, Columbo kept smiling and showing up authentically until he solved the case. Let’s see how he did this so we can learn to thrive in the most uncertain times.
Full transcript and shownotes at https://allegrasinclair.com/081
playlist_add
Sep 15, 2020
How to Be Brave Enough to Chase Your Dream
This episode was 17 years in the making. Joining me on the podcast is a woman who had to punch fear in the throat and shut down a successful business in order to chase her true dream. An award-winner in two different careers, Ana Lydia Monaco stopped by to walk us through her big, scary career pivot and let us know how the shift worked out! Her insights on being true to who you are and walking through life with grace are going to rock your socks.
Growing up, nobody in Ana Lydia's immediate family was encouraging her to pursue her dreams. In fact, she was told her dreams wouldn't come true so she should abandon them. In their world she was supposed to go to college and become a doctor, lawyer, or accountant. That was what they knew, so that's all they encouraged her to pursue. There is nothing wrong with being a doctor, lawyer or accountant, as long as that's what you want to do. Listen in to find out how she found the courage to buck that system.In this episode we discussed:
* How…
playlist_add
Aug 18, 2020
Finding your Inner Confidence and Beauty
Joining me on the podcast today is a super successful entrepreneur who knows a lot about battling low self-confidence and learning to appreciate her own beauty. Jeannell Darden is the Founder & CEO of Moisture Love. It's been quite a journey from a chance encounter at a natural hair store in Downtown Durham to the podcast, but I'm delighted that Jeannell finally made it.
Getting comfortable with your own beauty is a complicated and life-long process. Jeannell breaks down how she has worked on this (and continues to work on this) to be more successful. Many of her obstacles were internal versus external challenges. Her story will inspire you and help you see how you have been ignoring your own magic.In this episode we discussed:
* How Jeannell Darden went from Engineering to Entrepreneurship
* Why she kept damaged hair for 3 years and what she did when she finally cut it
* Why you shouldn't make promises you can't keep
* How she got to a place where she accepted her beauty…
playlist_add
Jun 30, 2020
5 Reasons to Stop Caring if People Like You
Most of us are taught to be people pleasers from a very young age, so the idea that there are any benefits to be achieved if you stop caring if people like you is probably a new one for many of us. The biggest advantage is that it frees you to be your authentic self, shaking off the weight of society's expectations so that you can focus on creating your own unique destiny.
There are actually many advantages to being disliked and unpopular. Here are just a few.
* Being True to Yourself
* Not Bowing to Peer or Parental Pressure
* Setting Your Own Goals
* Achieving Your Dreams
* Being Free from Meaningless Distractions
You can find the full transcript and show notes at https://allegrasinclair.com/078
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/allegrasinclair
Follow me on Instagram: https://instagram.com/allegramsinclair
playlist_add
Jun 16, 2020
Learning to Manage Grief and Racial Trauma
So many people are suffering right now. Between the global health pandemic and the scourge that is rampant racism here in America, people are suffering. And more than that, they are angry that the world changed without their permission and they are struggling to name what is going on with them.We are most in trouble when we’re struggling with what used to be—and our desire to have things as they were before. That is gone.
In this episode we discussed:
* The different ways that people are grieving right now, it's not just loss of a loved one.
* With the global pandemic, what other emotions are wearing us down in addition to grief?
* What can we do now to deal with grief about the current state of things?
* The main thing we do that saps our power and keeps us stuck.
* How and why Black people are operating at less than their full energy.
* How racial trauma shows up in our bodies and what to do about it.
* How to improve the results you get from meditation.
* How y…
playlist_add
Jan 28, 2020
5 Ways to Recognize Your Authentic Self
Being an authentic woman means you know who you are and are confident letting the world see the real you. The word authentic means true, genuine, and real. Our social media-centric society focuses much more on appearance rather than reality. Just look at the glossy magazines with photoshopped images of supermodels or the picture-perfect Instagram feeds and you can see how easy it is to fall into the trap of becoming shallow, fake, and inauthentic.It takes courage to punch fear in the throat and live authentically.
Today we look at 5 ways you can tell when you're being your authentic self.
Get 3 free authenticity exercises at https://allegrasinclair.com/076
playlist_add
Jan 21, 2020
What it Means to Be An Authentic Woman
Do you know what it means to be authentic? Whenever we hear the word authentic, we automatically associate it with a physical object being genuine and of high value, such as an authentic Romare Bearden painting or a natural diamond. The opposite of authentic is inauthentic - not real, fake, phony, insincere.
When we think about the concept of the authentic self, most women focus mainly on being truthful and honest. These are valuable attributes, but really living an authentic life involves a lot more than just telling the truth. So, the bad news is that being honest is not enough.
Today we'll look at what it means to be authentic, why we slip into being fake, and how you can make adjustments to show up as your authentic self.
Get 3 free authenticity exercises at https://allegrasinclair.com/075.
playlist_add
Jan 14, 2020
When Will You be Tired of Living a Lie?
Wondering what the pressure is that you feel all the time? It's the pressure of living a lie. Here is a quick quiz that will let you know if you're living a lie. Just answer these questions honestly to get the answers you need.
In this episode I ask 7 quick questions to help you determine if you're under pressure due to living a lie. Then I look at why you might be doing that and benefits you'll get from cutting that out. :)
The weight of being a fake person can be overwhelming. Think about how much energy you would expend trying to be the perfect manager, wife, daughter, role model, super hero, sibling, etc. As the pressure builds from outside to conform, your own authentic self begins to feel trapped and miserable, like a caged tiger in the zoo pacing back and forth, plotting how to be free.
If you have been living a lie in order to please others, you owe it to yourself to start taking action to live a more authentic life in which your true self can shine through.
Get your free a…
playlist_add
Jan 7, 2020
9 Traits of Super Motivated Women You Need
What if I told you there are 9 character traits that super motivated women possess? Because that is what I'm telling you. These traits help them stay motivated in order to accomplish what's important to them. If you are missing any of these traits, now is a great time to identify the gap and make a plan to close it.
* Motivated women have a purpose
* Motivated women are brave
* Motivated women take time to reflect
* Motivated women take time to celebrate
Learn the rest of the character traits in this week's episode.
You can get the free Take Back Your Work Week cheat sheet at https://allegrasinclair.com/073. Don't lose motivation in your career, take back control.
Full show notes for this episode are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/073
playlist_add
Oct 29, 2019
Why Women Give Up: The Heartbreaking Truth
We admire women that never seem to give up. But while we're admiring them it makes us a bit sad because we realize that we give up far too quickly. It’s not something we’re proud of, and we're haunted by the idea of how much more we could have accomplished with just a little more determination.
Most women have no idea why they give up quickly, but this behavior is something you can definitely change. The first step is to gain some insight into why women give up before they succeed.
In this episode I look at 1 big reason and 5 smaller reasons why women give up before they become successful. You can find your reason and create a plan to be successful in spite of it.
Full show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/072
playlist_add
Oct 1, 2019
How To Harness the Power of Saying No
If you harness the power of saying no you can avoid the problem of over-committing. That's when you make a commitment. Then you make another. Before you know it, you're making yet another commitment. It’s a never-ending cycle.
You overcommit to your job, your friends, colleagues, social causes, family, etc. These commitments add hundreds of hours and stress to your already over-scheduled life.
One of the most important things to remember is that time is finite. No matter how hard you try, you'll never have enough time to do everything. However, once you truly accept that you can't do it all, you can begin to prioritize your time.
Doing this gives more opportunities to do the things that you really want to do, rather than the things that you feel you should do. Spending quality time with family and friends, achieving goals to improve your future, and just having time to yourself are prime examples.
In this episode I look at:
* The benefits of saying no
* How saying no helps y…
playlist_add
Sep 17, 2019
The Rise of the Powerful Introvert
Chelsey Brooke stops by the podcast to tell us about the rise of the powerful introvert. Introverts are often misunderstood and mis-labeled by people who don't understand the personality type. Often people think introverted women are boring or stuck-up because of the way they show up in the world. Those people couldn't be more wrong! Powerful introverts are fabulous and this episode outlines how we can shine in the workplace and increase our confidence.
Chelsey is so passionate about introverts because she is one! So her interest in increasing confidence as an introvert came out of her own difficulties. Introverts often feel awkward and out of place in social situations and have anxiety about small talk or being in large groups. And the advice to "get out of your shell, speak up and stop thinking so much" isn''t helpful and doesn’t work.In this episode we discussed:
* The strengths of being exactly who you are. Some people can go their whole lives without figuring that out.
* W…
playlist_add
Sep 10, 2019
10 Ways to Stop Your Critics From Stealing Your Dream Life
Today we will look at 10 ways to stop your critics from stealing your dream. I never wanted to be a cop but I do love those shows. I’m fascinated by the techniques they use to prevent crimes. So I’m going to apply some of that investigative wisdom to protecting your dream.
Have you ever gotten excited about doing something, only to be shot down by the people that you thought would support you? It happens all the time.
Maybe you decided you wanted to train for a marathon, only for some super helpful person to reminded you that you’re not athletic and quit the last few things you tried. Or, maybe you wanted to start a business, only to be told that most businesses fail. Then you’re told that you shouldn’t bother, because you don’t have any business experience anyway. These old stories do not serve you.
Life is full of critics. The more you try to accomplish, the more people you’ll have trying to stop you in one way or another.Try these ideas to Stop Your critics and liv…
playlist_add
Aug 6, 2019
Unlocking the Magic of Managing Your Manager
When most of you started your professional journeys you likely thought your most important responsibility was managing yourself and your work tasks. Over time, the most successful among you learned managing your manager had a much bigger impact on career success.
Trying to talk to your boss can be intimidating, uncomfortable and awkward. But if you know the right way to approach your manager, you can not only survive the conversation, you can thrive in your workplace.
Effective communication with your manager is critical for a number of reasons. If you want to ask for a raise or get support for a new project or initiative, communicating effectively increases your chances of success.How to have an effective conversation with your manager
Be Respectful of Your Manager's Time
If you don't know your boss' schedule, you risk approaching her when she's not receptive. There are times when she's more stressed and times when she's more relaxed, so focus on talking with her at her convenience…
playlist_add
Jul 24, 2019
10 Things Confident Women Should Refuse to Do
Confident women should refuse to do certain things. Why? Because their strengths lie in focusing on the right things and ignoring the wrong ones.
Confident women do and think certain things, but they also avoid thinking and doing certain things. If you want to have more confidence, consider avoiding these things, too. It’s easier to climb a mountain without carrying a rock. Drop the habits and other behaviors that burden your ability to feel confident.
Without these obstacles getting in your way, you’ll create a new ceiling for your confidence. Make it as easy as possible to have confidence in yourself.Refuse to do these confidence-killing things:
1 Engage in Negative Self-Talk
You can’t feel confident and say negative things to yourself. If you want to feel positive about yourself, it helps to have a positive inner dialogue. Negative thoughts drain away positive energy, including the positive feelings that come with confidence.2 Complain
Complaini…
playlist_add
Jul 9, 2019
You Gave Up on Your Dream Career, Now What?
Let's talk about how you gave up on the dream career you want. Once you have given up, what are you supposed to do next? First, a little background.One of the most important things about hope is that it prevents you from giving up. You may be thinking, you haven’t given up on anything. Are you sure?
I ended a recent podcast episode by saying one of the most important things about hope is that it prevents you from giving up. (If you need to learn the basics of the power of hope, be sure to go back and listen to Episode 062.) I also pointed out that some people may have given up even though they aren't aware of it.In this week's episode I'll help you figure out:
* The different forms of giving up
* If you have given up
* What to do if you gave up but you're ready to try again
Giving up can be disguised as:
* Making the best of the current situation instead of trying to make changes, i.e., telling yourself you really like staying where you are.
* Only showing up with 50% o…
playlist_add
Jun 25, 2019
How to Feel Gratitude When Things Suck
When things suck it's hard to feel gratitude but I have 7 ways to feel gratitude that will help you get through it.
Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions that you can experience. It connects you to what is really important in your life. It reminds you that as long as you’re breathing, everything is going to be okay. And it helps frame your day, your expectations, and your actions.Embracing gratitude can be as simple as saying thank you.
Life is unpredictable and occasionally things suck. Each day we're faced with situations that test our ability to behave with grace and deal with difficulties. It's easy to get angry, scared, or resentful and forget to be grateful for the good things in our lives.
Question: If we don't cherish and feel grateful for the good things we already have, how can we justify wanting more?
In this episode I look at 7 ways to feel gratitude:
* Do something kind for someone else every day
* Say thank you for little things
* Establish a no-comp…
playlist_add
Jun 11, 2019
How to Tell If You Really Like Yourself
How can you tell if you really like yourself? It's probably something you don't think about because you just assume that you do. But, according to an American sociologist, at any given moment, 80% of the world doesn't like themselves. I'm a little scared of the answer, but I need somebody to do research on what the number would be for women. Do you think it's higher or lower?
This morning I found myself thinking, 'I really like myself'. That's not the first time I've had that thought, or even my most enthusiastic episode of self approval. It struck me today because I realized that I've spent a couple of days NOT liking myself.
Spending time not liking myself sneaks up on me, just like I know it sneaks up on you.
I read an article that outlined 15 ways that people show they don't like themselves but I disagreed with some of their ideas, so here is my list.
HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOURSELF?
Things that used to delight you, don’t make you as happy. And you start to tal…
playlist_add
May 30, 2019
What Hope Is and Why You Should Care
In this week's episode of the podcast I am going to take a look at what hope is and why you should care.
I got a question on Twitter the other day that I decided to answer here on the podcast in addition to responding directly. The question was, "With all the stuff that’s going on how do you stay hopeful about everything? It feels trivial to be concerned with my stuff when there’s so much happening in the world."
Short answer: I see you and I hear you. The weight of all the mayhem in the world gives me pause, too. However, I actively choose to focus on the things that I can control. That’s not always easy, but it is always necessary.
The weight of all the mayhem in the world gives me pause, too. However, I actively choose to focus on the things that I can control. That’s not always easy, but it is always necessary.
If there is something I can do, I need to be brave enough to do it. If not, I need to flourish in my spot so that my influence grows. If I want to be able to ta…
playlist_add
May 23, 2019
How to Take Control of Your Career and Remove Fear
I know you want to take control of your career and remove fear. With all the rapid changes in the workplace it's natural to experience some fear. Will the company stay profitable? Will you be able to continue to progress and move up the organization? Are you going to be replaced by a robot? We delve into these questions and more in today's episode of the podcast.
Many of my coaching clients are accomplished, mid-career women who:
* Are worried that the changing workplace seems to be leaving them behind
* Want to turn their career upside down and do something different but they aren't sure what they want to do
Today's guest, Nicolle Merrill has a delicious blend of skills that helps both groups.
IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSSED:
* How to take control of your career
* How the world of work is changing and why
* The changing world of work does not mean you have no value
* Whether robots are taking all our jobs
* Why we shame people for not moving up the corporate ladder
*…
playlist_add
May 17, 2019
If You Change The Content You See, Your Life Will Change
If you change the content you see, your life will improve. You may not realize it, but you are ‘bathed’ in content every day. And the content you see affects you in many ways. If you expose yourself to a lot of negative content, you will experience anxiety and self-doubt frequently.
In fact, absorb enough negative content and you will start having epic levels of self doubt. But, if you bathe yourself in positive content, your life will improve.
For the purpose of this discussion, anything that is not positive, is negative.
When you expose yourself to negative messages often, you train your brain to think negatively about everything. You will begin to fret about things that will probably never happen. This leads to worries about your health, your relationships, your finances, etc.
Excessive worrying can even lead to feelings of high anxiety and make you feel physically ill, according to WebMD. Once this has been going on awhile, you are rewarded with a testy attitude and constan…
playlist_add
Apr 30, 2019
So, You Suck at LinkedIn, There’s no Need to be Embarrassed
I thought LinkedIn was a place to post your resume if you were actively looking for a job. And that's all I did, check in every 4 years or so and make a half-hearted attempt at keeping my resume updated. Usually I would hop on there when I started getting a bunch of email notifications that people were congratulating me on a work anniversary for a company I'd left several years before.
I’m comfortable not knowing everything and I love finding people who I can tap into for specific expertise. And today's guest is a LinkedIn rockstar. Donna Serdula started on LinkedIn back in 2005, so she is the perfect person to bring all the LinkedIn knowledge.
In this episode we discussed:
* The one thing you SHOULD NOT do on LinkedIn.
* Why people love LinkedIn
* If LinkedIn isn't about job search what IS it about?
* The top 3 specific reasons that professional women need to be on LinkedIn
* How LinkedIn has changed over time
* What you should do if your struggle to get started with…
playlist_add
Apr 16, 2019
The Startling Power of ‘What If’
What if the things you have always believed aren't true? What if it's within your power to do and believe new things? This is your introduction to the startling power of 'what if'.
I know how strongly we hold our beliefs. I’m not necessarily talking about limiting beliefs, I’m speaking in more broad terms. We are a nation that questions a lot of things but what we believe, we REALLY believe. And to our credit, it's hard for us to shake off things that we believe in strongly.
There are certain things that I believe that you can’t shake me from. Period. Ever. For example, I believe that all people are created equal, and I believe that education is magical.
However, what if your strong beliefs aren’t positive? I’ve been hearing from a lot of my coaching clients about their beliefs and many of these beliefs are unshakeable. The challenge comes when the belief is something that makes them feel bad. Or something that holds them back when they are ready to move forward.
A few of…
playlist_add
Apr 5, 2019
How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship With Yourself
Many women struggle with what other people think of us. That mis-placed focus is very common even though you know how dangerous it can be to base your self-esteem on the way someone else chooses to treat you.
However, the danger is magnified when abuse comes from the closest possible person--yourself! You need to know how to get out an abusive relationship with yourself.
This is definitely a Big Girl Panties episode as we take a deep look at whether we've created an abusive relationship that we need to address.
Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/057
playlist_add
Mar 11, 2019
How to Live a Life Aligned With Who You Really Are with Tai Goodwin
In the last episode of the podcast, I talked about how to increase your self awareness. In this episode, Tai Goodwin visits with me to continue that discussion, but from a slightly different perspective. Tai teaches us how to live a life aligned with who we really are.
Tai's business focuses on entrepreneurs who are building businesses, but the importance and benefit of being self aware is relevant for all of us.
Being willing to take the steps to move into what you want has been a theme on the podcast, and today we talked a lot about self awareness and being willing to pivot or make change.
I asked Tai if she only had 5 minutes, what she would want my audience to know and she answered: I am all about helping women make their business bankable. I want them to be seen and heard, without feeling like they have to become somebody else to do it. And I want them to make as much money as they want.
Tai says you're bankable if you love the work you're doing, you love the clients you're ge…
playlist_add
Mar 4, 2019
Ten Tips to Help You Dramatically Improve Your Self-Awareness and Redefine Your Life
Why do you live where you live? Why do you love or hate the job you have? What motivates you to get up in the morning? What has led you to this point in your life?
These are all questions that many women can't answer. They don't have the self-awareness to know who they are. They don't know why they've made the choices they've made or why they struggle with certain things.
In fact, many people who lack self-awareness find that they aren't happy but they don't know why. It's this generalized anxiety or discomfort that they cannot name.If we find ourselves in this situation, sometimes we blame others or we blame circumstances.
The truth is, that we probably do have some degree of self-awareness and like many skills, it's one that we can improve. In this episoe we'll look at how when you improve your self-awareness, great things can happen for you!
Show notes can be found here: https://allegrasinclair.com/055
P.S. Thanks for the 5-Star Ratings! I really appreciate you.
playlist_add
Dec 20, 2018
When You’re Ready to Stop Making Excuses and Rescue Your Dreams From the Shelf
Are you ready to stop making excuses? Many of us had big dreams early in life. I think young women are the best dreamers in the world! When we're young it's a time of limitless dreams and possibilities. Want to be a firefighter and a ballerina? Done. Want to be a mermaid who flies through the water? No problem.
Whether our dreams were big or small, as life started to happen, we put some of our dreams on a shelf. Your dreams are still living somewhere in your mind but you don't think about them and you definitely aren't doing anything to make them a reality. You haven't given up on them entirely, but you put them away to protect your heart.
In this episode we look at our excuses and how to overcome them to make our dreams come true.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/054
playlist_add
Oct 3, 2018
How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs to Grow Your Career
You can probably think of lots of reasons why your career may be stuck, or not moving as quickly as you'd like. The need to overcome limiting beliefs to grow your career probably isn't one of them.
Here are 4 steps to overcome limiting beliefs and grow your career:
* Gently Examine Your Limiting Beliefs
* Reframe Your Limiting Beliefs
* Challenge Your Limiting Thoughts
* Start Keeping a Journal
Shownotes can be found at allegrasinclair.com/053
playlist_add
Aug 19, 2018
How to Love Your Body: Accept Your Body Now
Believe it or not, how you feel about your body is an important ingredient in being confident. How confident can you feel if you're walking around in a body you hate? Or if you don't hate it, you spend a lot of time 'talking smack' about it. That works against your natural confidence.
Are you wondering how to love your body? The first step is to accept your body right now. In this episode we discuss what can you do to accept your body just the way it is.
Show notes available at: allegrasinclair.com/052
playlist_add
Jul 1, 2018
Are You Missing Some of Your Juicy Breakthroughs?
Breakthroughs are one of the joys I find in working with my coaching clients. They will tell me things that they've been working on, or new skills they have been trying out at work and how it worked really well for them.
When they tell me their good results, they kind of gloss over them and race past the breakthroughs that make me want to jump up and down and cheer. Often my clients miss the smaller moments of how their lives are changing and how they're improving. And I delight in slowing them down and pointing out the victories.
This episode is to invite you to have that kind of joyful jolt of electricity that i got when I took the time to evaluate the changes I was experiencing. When I slowed down and paid attention to myself with a different perspective I saw new things.
Show notes are available at: allegrasinclair.com/051
playlist_add
Mar 6, 2018
Finding the Courage to Engage in Radical Self Care
I can't wait for you to get into how yoga can lead to radical self care. Today's guest is fiyah! When Rev. Shelley visited her first yoga studio, she crawled away. While she had been interested in yoga for a long time, the reality of being ‘othered’ in her first attempt to learn yoga stopped her in her tracks. Her perception of a yoga afficionado didn’t look like herself and this was borne out by the behavior of the people at the first studio she visited. Being ignored by the majority is common for people of color, but being ignored based on her size was something very different.
Rev. Dr. Shelley Best is now a master practitioner in the art of of radical self care. She pursued a passion for yoga after reaching the age of 50 and is all about personal and community transformation. Her mission is to serve others by example. Listen to find out how she finds the courage to live confidently in the face of resistance.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/050
playlist_add
Feb 20, 2018
The Best Morning Routine to Avoid Feeling Like a Victim All Day
I am going to give you the best morning routine to avoid feeling like a victim. Lately I’ve been hearing from a number of clients, friends, family who are feeling like victims. They feel helpless in the face of what’s going on in the world, difficult relationships with friends and family, dissatisfaction with their jobs, and more. Why?
Because they feel like all day long all they do is deal with the crap that’s getting thrown at them. And by the end of the day they feel beaten down and frustrated. In this episode you'll hear my magic recommendations.
* Magic Bullet #1: Every day I wake up and make a decision that I am going to be ok that day.
* Magic Bullet #2: Every morning I lower my expectations of others.
* Magic Bullet 3: Each day release yourself from responsibility for others.
Show notes can be found at https://allegrasinclair.com/49
playlist_add
Feb 13, 2018
Jean Haynes: Lessons from a Recovering Good Girl
So many women are stuck because they are asking permission to live fully. Is it ok if I shine? If I speak in a meeting? If I leave this bad relationship? We have this yearning for someone to tell us that we’re ok.
IN TODAY’S SHOW WE DISCUSSED:
* What a classic good girl is and what her life looks like.
* The danger in following the rules and following a path that’s not really your own.
* What happens when you don’t have focus.
* Why she thought a referral to a life coach meant she was a hot mess.
* If you find you’re disconnected from who you are, how do you re-connect?
* How can you tell if your life is broken?
* How you know where to set boundaries.
Show Notes: https://allegrasinclair.com/048
playlist_add
Feb 6, 2018
10 Lessons from a 5-Year Old to Punch Fear in the Throat
Most children know how to punch fear in the throat. When we're 5, we handle fear like a ninja. As we get older, we forget these skills and start letting fear push us around. Today we're going to look at 10 lessons from a five-year-old so that you can punch fear in the throat now.
"Real self-confidence is not a lack of fear. It's acknowledging the fear and trusting yourself anyway. "
Here are the 10 lessons I discussed in this episode:
* Stop Saying Yes When...
* Be Fearless
* Ask for Help
* Believe You Can Be...
* Stretch
* No Means...
* Keep Breathing Life Into Your Dreams
* Forget Past Mistakes
* Be Mad Today, Get Over it Tomorrow
* Stick Up For Yourself
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/047
playlist_add
Jan 25, 2018
The Trick to Turning Compassion and Kindness Inward
Lee McDonough stops by the podcast to drop some major clarity insights and heaps of encouragement. Her coaching philosophy fuses the principles of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, Energy Leadership, and mindfulness in order to help her clients excel at their work, feel in control of their careers, and transform their lives.
In this episode we talked about the challenges people have gaining clarity and then being brave enough to take the steps and move into what they see. Gaining clarity is one thing but if you don’t do anything as as a result, it's kind of like putting all the ingredients in a cake pan but never putting the pan in the oven. We also dove into how treating ourselves the way we treat others can be magic.
What does clarity do for people? Clarity influences what we do and how we show up in the world. Lee believes that without clarity we feel directionless, untethered, and unmoored. It's important to know just the WHO you are, but WHY you are on the earth.
Show notes ar…
playlist_add
Jan 11, 2018
Why Self Care is Powerful for Every Woman
Self care is powerful for every woman because it’s one of the most overlooked means of changing our lives. It's also one of the most effective tools you can use to improve the lives of the people you love. No, I’m not sleepy, I said self care is something you do for people you love. Sounds backwards, I know.
This conversation about self care begins with the idea that putting yourself last is not noble.
THIS EPISODE COVERS:
* Why we neglect ourselves
* The best way to take care of others
* The definition of self care
* The dangers of ignoring self care
* The benefits of self care
* Why self care is powerful for women
* The top 3 negative situations that self care prevents
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/045
playlist_add
Apr 20, 2017
How To Know If a Life Coach is Right For You
So many people (especially celebrities) seem to be working with a life coach, but they don't usually tell you why they made that decision. Don't you wish they would? You probably need more information to decide if working with a coach is something you want to do for yourself. In this episode I'll provide more information.
Life coaching is a relatively new career. Because it's so new, it can be confusing to figure out what a life coach really is and whether or not one would help you.
Here's a quick definition: A life coach helps you create a life that fulfills you. A life coach helps you bring the most powerful version of yourself to life.
Many people have reported the positive results they have achieved after working with a coach. They increased clarity, positive energy, and leaderships skills. Your results will be based on what you want to improve in your life.
Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/044
playlist_add
Nov 16, 2016
It’s Ok To Be Who You Are, Wisdom From Kim Coles
This episode is a wild ride that you will probably want to take twice. We start our conversation with the one thing Kim Coles would like to pour into women’s heads.
In this episode we examine:
* Permission to live out loud
* Permission to live a good life
* Permission for radical self care
* Permission to be the best you ever
And perhaps most importantly, it's permission to be who you are. So many women are stuck because they are asking permission to live fully. Is it ok if I shine? If I speak in a meeting? If I leave this bad relationship? We have this yearning for someone to tell us it’s ok. It's ok.
Other topics include:
* When neglecting ourselves became a badge of honor
* What self care means
* The surprising reasons we're afraid of self care
* The obvious AND hidden benefits of taking care of yourself
* The stunning moment when Kim found herself broke and broken. And how she got over it.
* Kim's favorite self-care exercise
And don't blink. Kim even flippe…
playlist_add
Nov 2, 2016
Understanding How ‘I Can’t’ Damages You and How to Punch Self-Doubt
It's a lot easier to say I can't, than it is to say, I'm scared. But that's precisely what we are really saying when we hide from success and ignore new opportunities. The goal of today's show is to provide understanding of how 'I Can't' damages you.
If you fall victim to a negative 'I Can't' attitude, it can poison nearly every aspect of your life. It can affect your business plans, career goals, and even personal relationships. Oh, the horror! In today's show, I take aim at 'I Can't' and provide 4 steps for putting that attitude in its place.
Full show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/042
playlist_add
Oct 19, 2016
Changing Your Environment Can Boost Your Self-Esteem
When you think about improving your self-esteem, it's natural that you would look inward for areas to improve. But, instead of looking inside for all the reasons you're not more confident or successful, today let's look at your environment. Changing your environment can boost your self-esteem.
Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence can be caused by a number of things. While it’s true that there are internal things that cause low self-esteem, there are external factors that also contribute to low self-esteem.
Take a few moments and think about these environmental factors that can affect self-esteem.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/041
playlist_add
Oct 5, 2016
Finally Learn How to Reframe Negative Situations
A lot of people talk about reframing situations, but not a lot of people know how to do it. Today we will look at 7 situations and explore how to reframe negative situations.
I have been blogging lately about self talk, to be clear, I am talking about the inner sound track of your mind. Unfortunately, a majority of people have a negative sound track that plays over and over in their head. That means, your inner critic (I call mine Wilhemina, or Willie) has easy access to you and always seems to get your attention and make you doubt yourself. Your inner critic knows all your secrets and she knows the best buttons to push to prevent you from being powerful. She is a liar, but she can be persuasive.
Most of the things that I hear from my negative self talk I would never dream of saying to anyone else. And I certainly wouldn't allow anybody else to talk to me that way! And yet Wilhemina persists.
There are seven situations inside, that we can break down to reframe negative situations t…
playlist_add
Jul 20, 2016
Top 3 Reasons Why Women Get Stuck
So many of us think that success is hard and failing is easy. Wrong! It’s a lot harder to be unsuccessful. Why? Because getting stuck and STAYING stuck requires you to adopt behaviors (turn them into habits) that take a lot of work to create and maintain.
Today, let's take a look at the top 3 reasons why women get stuck.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/039
playlist_add
Jun 22, 2016
A Gigantic Lesson from a Crazy Little Protein Bar
Today is one of those days in which a gigantic lesson revealed itself when I was least expecting it. It's funny how often that happens. In the midst of a tough day, full of grief and disappointment, I had a relevation that I just had to share.
In This Episode...
Back from a hiatus, this first episode of the new season of the Your Confident Self Podcast is small but mighty. Just like the gigantic lesson inside!
I wasn't expecting to find anything deep on this day and I definitely wasn't expecting too much from a trip to the grocery store. I shop all the time when I'm doing a Whole30 because fresh, whole foods need to be purchased when they are 'fresh'. But my day took a weird turn that filled me with unexpected gifts.
Have you ever been in a similar situation? If so, what did you do with the energy created?
Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/038
playlist_add
Dec 18, 2015
How Do You Know When It’s Time to Level Up?
In this episode you'll discover:
* How an unsexy profession led me to helping others see the fabulous within themselves
* How you know when it's time to make some sort of leap/change and what boredom has to do with it
* Why I am so afraid of being bored
* Steps you can take to stop being comfortable and why you want to do that
* How to exercise your courage muscle to get past fear
* The ways you can steal the power away from fear
* The unique power that entrepreneurs possess
* What do you do if you hate marketing
* Why strong women who 'Go Big or Stay Home' choose to stay home
* The one instance in which encouragement can be a bad thing
The complete transcript is on the way, but until then here are some quick action steps from this episode.
Steps to deal with paralyzing fear:
* Recognize that fear is a signal of something else, it's not the real issue.
* Peel the onion, why are you really afraid?
* Expose fear to light so it will become powerless.
* Your…
playlist_add
Dec 8, 2015
The 5 Biggest Sleep Mistakes You Can Easily Avoid with Tracey Marks
How any sleep mistakes are there?! Today I'm chatting with a delightful woman who works predominantly offline but is building a fabulous online presence as well. Dr. Tracey Marks shares the biggest sleep mistakes you are making that you could easily avoid.
Dr. Marks is a psychiatrist and focuses on working women who are too tired, busy, stressed out, etc. Those women who are Beyond Burnout. She helps women devise strategies to recover from “burnout” and live healthier lives for themselves and their families.
IS LACK OF SLEEP REALLY A BIG DEAL?
Is lack of sleep really such a big deal? Many people believe they need to shave off sleep to get more done throughout the day, but your body will tell you when you haven’t had enough sleep! It starts subtly like little whispers, but eventually those little whispers will become big shouts and then the real problems start.
Did you know that chronic sleep deprivation can cause depression? Or did you know that you actually gain weight when…
playlist_add
Dec 1, 2015
Lessons on Showing Love from a Christmas Songbird
The holidays can be lonely for a lot of people. There, I said it. Now we can stop pretending that everybody MUST have the same holiday experience. That's a holiday lie. A holiday truth is that you can have the holiday you want, IF you're willing to show love . What do I mean? Let me tell you a story. This is the Fable of the Christmas Songbird or how showing love can transform you.
WHY ARE THE HOLIDAYS LONELY FOR SOME?
Some people are lonely because they're single.
Some people are lonely because they wish they were single.
Some people are lonely because they feel they don't have anywhere to go.
Some people are lonely because they need some time at home, to think and plan for a better new year.
And some people are lonely because they have fallen for the hype of the fake lives being lived on Instagram and Facebook.
No matter the reason, the root of loneliness is a focus on self. Thinking back on Soraya the Songbird, please know that I am not minimizing anybody's experience. Howeve…
playlist_add
Nov 24, 2015
How to Make All The Right Connections: Sandi Eveleth
Have you ever wondered how some women make all the right connections? Have you ever wanted to get better at making connections with people and stop simply exchanging business cards that you lose or forget about while they gather dust in the drawer?
I’m talking about meaningful connections! It’s so critical to make the right connections when building your business.
Today, my fabulous guest, Dr. Sandi Eveleth, shares precisely how she does that, and how you can do it, too
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/034
playlist_add
Aug 2, 2015
Knowing is Good, but Doing is Always Better
There is Knowing. And then there is Doing. Why do those two things have to be so far apart?! I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that you can have all the knowledge in the world but the person with limited knowledge who actually DOES stuff will beat you every single time.
The doer will accomplish more. She will fail more. She will prosper. She will have more fun. She will earn more money! The Doer punches fear in the throat and wins by using what she knows. Knowing is good, but doing is always better.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/033
playlist_add
Apr 29, 2015
Why Holding Onto Past Mistakes Makes You Fat
Holding onto past mistakes makes you fat. Huh? I'm always looking for a new reason why I'm 'fluffy', so if you're like me the opening of this podcast just made your day. Hang on, and grab your big girl panties, because I'm probably not headed where you think.
"I believe that anything that makes you feel shame, or lowers your self esteem makes you fat. How? Because it weighs you down. #allegraism"
I believe that anything that makes you feel shame, or lowers your self esteem makes you fat. How? Because it weighs you down. When you think heavy thoughts, your body responds by holding onto extra calories and you get fat. Sometimes our fat isn't the physical fat we can see. Sometimes our fat is the more insidious fat that hides inside our minds.
In this episode we look at how the mind fat can be worse than physical fat because that is harder to detect and get rid of. Now before you jump on me, I know losing physical fat isn't easy, let's take a deep breath.
Show notes are available at al…
playlist_add
Apr 15, 2015
There Are No Tents at Audacity Camp: Coach Jennie
Many of us have yearnings to be more than normal, to live big and have a big impact. However, there are so few of us who are willing to take action on our stories. At some point if you want to make a bigger impact on the world based on who you are and what you have to contribute, you can no longer accept just being 'normal'. You can't be happy inside the box. At some point you must decide to quite fighting with who you really are and grab onto audacity and run with it.
What is Audacity Camp?
In today's podcast, you will be excited and challenged to have a bigger impact while learning:
* A new definition of audacity
* Why audacious people are also inhabitants of the island of misfit toys
* How you can make an impact on the world, big or small.
* The unlikely incident that woke up Coach Jennie's audacity and how you can wake yours too
* How incomplete personal development can leave you in worse shape than before
* What one concept you need to embrace for success
* The difference…
playlist_add
Mar 31, 2015
How to Tell if You’re a Martyr, a Missionary, or Meaningless
Nicole Dean's theory is that we have 3 areas of our lives and if we get out of balance and don't take care of all three of them, we will have issues and become a martyr, a missionary, or meaningless.
My guest on this podcast, Nicole Dean, is launching the Awesomization Nation Movement so that amazing business people can share more of their awesome selves by focusing on daily actions for all 3 areas. And then acting on their promptings to be even more awesome. I have had a crush on Kid President for a while because of his sassy messages about being awesome, but this is even better.
An unbalanced life looks different depending on which area you're neglecting. For instance, If you focus only on your life and business, you will feel meaningless because that inward focus doesn't serve anyone else. If you focus only on your life and the world, you'll be a missionary because you won't be making any money. (Boo!)
And finally, if you focus only on your business and the world and neglect your…
playlist_add
Mar 25, 2015
You Get to Matter in Your Life with Kim Doyal
Your story can change people's lives, but you have to tell it. It's not easy to write a book, I imagine it's similar to being pregnant. Both endeavors take time, you agonize over doing things the right way, and the final result is painful before there is joy. But writing a book, or telling your story can also result in something that feels so personal that you don't feel right about selling it.
Listen in as Allegra and Kim explore:
* Why women are hesitant to make a living off of our gifts
* What to do if you're stuck in place being resistant to charging your true value
* Why you have to practice to be a really good marketer
* The value of stretching yourself until you're a little bit scared
* How to tap into being powerful without being scary or intimidating
* The gifts that come to women as they age
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/029
playlist_add
Mar 18, 2015
Intention is Not Enough with Kim Doyal
In this episode of the podcast, Kim Doyal and I discuss:
* How you can get confident enough to start being your authentic self
* What will happen when you really show up
* How she called me on my stuff, so that I would show up more
* How to begin to show up
* Why podcasting is so powerful, the beauty of audio
* Why women need to stop apologizing for running a business and earning money
* If you can be too specific in trying to target an audience
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/028
playlist_add
Mar 11, 2015
Don’t Let Fear Keep You From Success: The Tale of Francis the Fearful Frog
Please don't let fear keep you from success. Today we will look at Francis the Fearful Frog. Her story is a cautionary tale about letting fear keep you from being successful.
On the podcast we’ve talked quite a bit about fear. We've talked about punching it in the throat, different ways of conquering fear, and overcoming fear of failure, etc. But today, let's look at fear from the standpoint of what the world is missing if you don't address your fears. (gulp)
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/027
playlist_add
Mar 3, 2015
Why You Should Fly Your Freak Flag Proudly
I was going to title this podcast, why your goal should be fiery panties, but I changed it to encourage you to fly your freak flag proudly. What does acknowledging your freak status give you? Freedom! Love! Joy! Lower blood pressure. And those are just for starters.
I have been working really hard behind the scenes on two projects, 1) re-shaping my business and podcast to better reflect my strengths and make sure I am pouring myself into the right people and 2) helping other powerful women tell their stories through their own platforms and podcasts. These are both awesome projects I have a ton of energy and passion for and I’m having a ball.
I especially love that I am taking a hard look at what I’m offering in my business. It keeps my analytical skills sharp and helps me make sure that I haven’t gotten lost in the hustle and bustle of every day life.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/026
playlist_add
Nov 25, 2014
Want to Know Why Your Lack of Boundaries is Killing You?
IN TODAY'S PODCAST YOU WILL LEARN:
Listen to find out what Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek the Next Generation has to do with setting personal boundaries. You can establish healthy personal boundaries with these tips:
* Communicate openly about what your boundaries are
* Value yourself
* Define yourself
* Place a higher priority on yourself
* Identify where you need to tweak your boundaries
* Make your boundaries firm, reasonable and clear.
* Be flexible.
* Learn to love saying no
Having boundaries is an exercise in caring for and respecting yourself. You have the right to expect a certain level of respect and consideration from others.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/025
playlist_add
Oct 23, 2014
Clarity is the Secret Ingredient for Success
Many of us search high and low for happiness and success. Today's guest believes that clarity is the secret ingredient for career success and she makes a compelling case. In this episode of podcast I welcome Tamala Huntley from TamalaHuntley.com.
Tamala is a powerful and energetic entrepreneur whose viewpoint on simplicity, focus and clarity are so good you will want to eat her words. She creates WordPress websites and helps life and wellness professionals with the techie stuff. I'm delighted that she took time out of her busy schedule and planned move out of the country(!) to visit with me.
Grab a mug of your favorite beverage and listen in while she shares some great 'Tamalisms' that you can apply to your life today.
Tamala's commitment to living a simple, peaceful, happy life centered on accepting who she is and what she really wants, is changing her life and the lives of those around her. She surrounds herself with the right people who encourage and lift her higher. She is becom…
playlist_add
Oct 15, 2014
Stop Trying to Be Perfect and Build Your Perfectly Imperfect Life
Stop trying to be perfect so you can build your perfectly imperfect life. I am not advocating that we aim to be mediocre (you know me better than that), but I want us to stop setting ourselves up for failure.
Aiming for perfection can lead you to succeed in your life and work. But, nothing will break your confidence down like unrealistic expectations and undue pressure from a quest to be perfect. It's exhausting and can become a huge burden. And deep down, you probably know that your expectations of yourself and others are a little out of control.
It's better to build something imperfect than wait to build something perfect. Get it built! Then tweak it.
HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM PERFECTIONISM:
If your perfectionism is interfering with your ability to form and maintain relationships, get satisfaction from your work, increase your confidence, etc., here are some strategies to break free:
* Breaking your big stuff down into small, do-able steps and focus on each one
* Give yourself…
playlist_add
Oct 8, 2014
The Ultimate Guide to Overcoming Fear of Failure
In a previous post, I shared how failure can lead to some of the biggest successes, but what if you never try? If you don't try, your chances of success are 0%.
We can find numerous stories of people throughout history who have failed but refused to give up. I can only imagine how many people told them they would never succeed, repeatedly pointed out their previous failed efforts, and even characterized their attempts as pathetic.
As many successful stories as we can find that started with failures, I bet there are many more people who let the doubts of others and their own fears prevent them from trying at all. Don't be one of those people!
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/022
playlist_add
Oct 1, 2014
Learn How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem
How can we overcome low self esteem? There are lots of different reasons why our self esteem may suffer. But if we don't address these issues, low self esteem can damage your confidence and lead to larger issues like anxiety, social withdrawal, depression, and even suicide.
Self esteem is rooted in how you feel about yourself compared to confidence which is rooted in what you believe you can accomplish, based on your past results.
There are steps you can take to overcome low self esteem and make sure that you do not internalize issues that are really external to you. You are not the sum of your circumstances and are in control of how you view these events.
THE STEPS FOR OVERCOMING LOW SELF ESTEEM ARE:
Surrounding yourself with positive people
* Focusing on the future, not the past
* Setting reasonable expectations
* Recognizing your accomplishments
* Working toward a greater good
* Making a cheat sheet of your best qualities
* Getting appropriate support
Show notes ar…
playlist_add
Sep 24, 2014
The Price of Not Being Authentic
What is the price of not being authentic? Have there been times in your life when you felt you weren't acting like your true self? Maybe you were unsure of a new situation or you lacked the confidence to reveal who you truly are. When I challenged a friend about whether or not she was behaving in a way that was consistent with her brand, I had some interesting insights.
THE PRICE OF NOT BEING AUTHENTIC
I think there is a cost to pay for hiding who you are, and it is a very real cost. Hiding who we are, puts in an emotionally unhealthy cycle. In addition, behaving in a way that is not authentic can make you question who you are. Insidious, isn't it?
TODAY'S PODCAST INCLUDES:
* Monitoring your feelings
* Giving yourself space and time
* Calling yourself on faking it
* Paying attention to what triggers the inauthentic behavior
* Being brave enough to be who you are
* Trusting that the right people appreciate YOU
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/020
playlist_add
Sep 17, 2014
7 Benefits of Spending Time Alone
Today on the podcast, I offer 7 benefits of spending time alone. Sometimes we get too caught up in being lonely and choose to spend time with the wrong people. A couple weeks ago I published an affirmation about avoiding toxic people so that you can feel less lonely.
I also did an interview on Empower Radio recently about why people don't remove themselves from toxic relationships. Both of these posts inspired some questions and feedback from listeners because they understood that they should remove toxic people, but they didn't want to be lonely. They asked me why being alone would be better than spending time with these people.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/019
playlist_add
Sep 9, 2014
How To Be More Confident at Work This Week
Let's take a look at how to be more confident at work this week. Feeling confident and demonstrating confidence are two different things. You want to make sure that you are showing the world how confident you are, because confidence is an important element in being seen as successful by your peers. Sometimes we do a great job of showing our confidence everywhere except in our workplace.
In this episode we discussed:
* How your voice influences whether or not you are seen as confident
* The importance of word choice
* The specific language you should avoid
* What to do when your emotions get the best of you
* Secrets to using your volume to communicate effectively
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/018
playlist_add
Aug 14, 2014
Reasons You Still Aren’t Where You Want To Be in Life
As a quick recap, here are the first 5 reasons you aren't where you want to be that I talked about in last week's show:
* You don't know what you want
* You don't have a plan to get from here to there
* You lack resources
* The people around you don't support you
* You don't really know what you wantWe have just a little bit further to go to figure out why you still aren't where you want to be yet.
In this episode, we look at the final 5 reasons you still aren't where you want to be:
* You lack skills
* You lack stamina
* You're afraid of failure
* You're afraid of success
* You don't think you can get where you want to be
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/017
playlist_add
Aug 6, 2014
10 Reasons You Are Not Where You Want To Be
I want to interrupt my ongoing discussion about toxic people and give you hope and provide some top reasons you aren't where you want to be. Would it excite you to know there are just 10 reasons you are not where you want to be? YET!
Based on emails and comments I have received, there is a lot of frustration building up. When you look at your life, you may be miles away from your goals and dreams – so far you wonder if you’ll ever get there. This gap can be especially frustrating when you feel like you’re working really hard to make your dreams come true.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/016
playlist_add
Jul 4, 2014
Declare Your Independence From Everything That Blocks You
It's time! Today, declare your independence from everything that hinders you from being fabulous. It will really be a day worth celebrating when we declare our independence from everything that no longer serves us. Imagine how good it will feel and how powerful you will be when you let go of the junk that's weighing you down. In this episode of the podcast, I explore what independence means in an actionable way.
In this episode I discuss:
* The dictionary definition of independence
* What independence means for us
* Who or what we need to be free of
* How being dependent helps us
* How to tell when we're ready to move on
* Several powerful examples of situations that no longer serve you
* The secret to change.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/015
playlist_add
Jun 11, 2014
How to Find Your Lane so You Can Get In It
You want to find your lane (your purpose) so that you can get in your lane and stay there, right? I've been thinking a lot over the last few weeks about intention, focus, purpose, fighting fear, etc. Basically I have been thinking about all the things that will prevent you from stepping into and living out your purpose. One of things I think really distracts a lot of us is too many options.
If you have multiple talents, it can be harder for you than for others to figure out which one talent you want to focus on in this moment. It sounds so weird, but I sometimes feel sorry for people who are good at too many things.
I tell my brother and sister all the time, because they are both really smart, that I realize it can be really hard to figure out what they want to do with their lives because they are good at so many things. Who knew being really talented could be a blessing and a curse?
I think the inability to identify your ’highest purpose' or at least the skill that you want to fo…
playlist_add
Apr 9, 2014
We Should Celebrate Thanksgiving All Year
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for. Why should we only focus on all that we have to be thankful for in November, during traditional Thanksgiving celebrations? I am absolutely all about Thanksgiving in April this year! That’s right, all those turkeys and honey-baked hams should be very, very afraid.
I have been obsessed recently with how to help all of us battle fear more effectively and one thing I know is that gratitude is an awesome tool for fighting fear. How can you be full of fear when you are too busy being grateful?
Let me step back for a moment and explain two things, 1) why I am all about gratitude and 2) where on earth I have been for the past month or so.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/013
playlist_add
Feb 3, 2014
How an Amazing Red Bra Will Change Your Life
An amazing red bra will change your life. I apologize, I have been holding out on you. Can we talk?! We have already talked about the fact that we can be our own best cheerleader by being careful about what we say to ourselves and recognizing all our gifts.
However, there is another tool in our confidence toolbox that I don’t want us to overlook. Come closer, it’s a secret…
I’m talking about your underwear! I’m not talking about just any old lingerie, I’m talking about that particular bra that changes your whole attitude the minute you put it on. It may be black or it may be leopard, or anything in between. But I know how a red bra can change your life.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/012
playlist_add
Jan 22, 2014
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
In this episode of the podcast I look at the insidious influence of comparison. You can be honest, do you sometimes find yourself comparing your life to that of others? If you do, I am betting that does not make you feel all warm and fuzzy, and it definitely doesn't lead to your most powerful days. Comparison is the thief of joy.
If you stop comparing you can learn to LOVE your life. Women are bombarded daily with images of the lives of the rich and infamous and there are endless opportunities for us to look at how others live, work, dress, dance, etc. So this concept of not comparing isn't going to happen without your decision and intention. Here are some ideas for getting this thief under control.
Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/011
playlist_add
Jan 13, 2014
Butterflies Are Beautiful But Don’t Be One
My grandmother used to call me Madame Butterfly and I loved it. My 7-year old mind understood that butterflies were pretty and could fly, and that was all I needed to know. Let's fast forward--later in life, I learned she called me that because she just never knew what I might do next. I have heard she told people that I "flitted from one thing to another looking pretty" but not accomplishing a lot. Dang, really?!
That is not powerful at all. (Thank goodness she was wrong!) That puts a whole different spin on butterflies. So now I know, butterflies are beautiful but I shouldn't be one. I admit that I would often fall in love with projects and could think of nothing else for serious spurts of time. But then I would get bored and move onto a new project. Flitting from one thing to another? I don't think so, I was simply using my powers of elimination and discernment to figure out what I did NOT want to do. AND I was a child so, no harm, no foul.
There is a business term, '3-day monk',…
playlist_add
Nov 18, 2013
Getting Real: The Day I Didn’t Have it In Me
There came a time when I didn't have it in me. Didn't have what in me? The ability to continue with life as normal when it was anything but.
I was pretty quiet on social media and here at my site last week because we were dealing with a family tragedy. Dealing with loss is ridiculously difficult and I don't know that we ever get good at it. My first response was to try to compartmentalize what had happened and continue to do what I do, flap my Superwoman cape and delay dealing with the fallout. But I could not. And I decided it was a disservice to my circle, my audience, and myself for me to try to fake it. So I didn’t. Let me explain.
Normally, I develop monthly themes for content that I am going to create or share and then on Sundays I plan content for each week. But on a recent Sunday when I would have been planning, I received the unspeakable news that one of my cousins had been killed. And in that moment, I felt almost completely lost.
I say almost, because I had enough prese…
playlist_add
Nov 5, 2013
You Are Not Who Others Say You Are
You are not who others say you are.
That's good news, right? While last week I focused on not criticizing yourself, today a recent event has inspired me to focus on not allowing others to criticize you either. In fact, I will take it a step further and suggest that we not let others define us, name us, shame us, limit us, BULLY us, or act in any way that diminishes who we are destined to be.
That’s right, pull up those big-girl panties because my alter ego is dangerously close to the surface. (You have never met Erica but she is in here.) I’m doing lots of deep breathing this week because I’m angry and heart broken at the same time.
In case you haven’t been following this story, let me tell you about a bright, young, African-American man named, Jonathan Martin. I believe he is standing in place for a lot of other people, but I have his name so I’m going to use it today. This particular young man may have lost his professional life last week because he was harassed and abus…
playlist_add
Oct 29, 2013
5 Steps to Stop Criticizing Yourself
Here are 5 steps to stop criticizing yourself. We’ve all heard her — that mean, inner voice that speaks up whenever we’ve made a mistake or something didn't turn out as we planned it. Sometimes, your critical inner voice (I call her the Confidence Assassin or CA,) tells you what you should have done but failed to do. Other times, she reminds you of something you did that you should have avoided. If she's so smart, why is she a figment of your imagination!? I want to inspire you to stop criticizing yourself. Leave that foolish work to others and become your best and strongest cheerleader.
Whenever you have a continuing inner dialogue or conversation with yourself about how you’re falling short in an area of your life, your self-criticism is racing right along, egging your Confidence Assassin on. ~ Allegra Sinclair
How can you quiet that voice before she destroys your self-esteem and confidence? Say it all together class, Punch it in the Throat.
Here is how to stop criticizing y…
playlist_add
Oct 22, 2013
Mick Jagger Was Wrong, You Can Get Satisfaction
If you’re at a point where you keep asking yourself, “How did I get here?,” it may be time for you to figure out ways to change the direction of your life. Admitting you are dissatisfied with your life may not be easy, but it’s a necessary first step that will lead you toward finding a life and career that you love. Aren’t you glad Mick Jagger was wrong?
If you want to get satisfaction, consider these steps: Get specific about what is disappointing you. Jot down the details of what bugs you. For example, if you’re disturbed about your home’s condition (unorganized or messy), write it down. If you feel depressed because you never got the training or education you wanted, put that on the list, too.
The purpose of this step is to identify the things that you find hard to accept about your life. This list provides you with a blueprint of what to work on to achieve the life you really want. Come up with concrete solutions for each of the items on your list. If the mess annoy…
playlist_add
Oct 15, 2013
Fight Cancer Like a Girl, Punch Cancer in the Throat
For some of life's biggest battles, we have to fight like a girl. Kelly is many things besides being a breast cancer survivor. She's a daughter, a mother, a friend, a student, etc. A divorced mother of 2 girls, her first response to her diagnosis was terror and worry about leaving her daughters without a mother. In this episode she shares her life-changing story.
A huge proponent of breast self exams, Kelly noticed changes in her breasts and went to her doctor for follow-up. She credits that early detection with saving her life and the lives of many other women. Throughout her 3-year journey she used information and action to punch cancer in the throat and she continues to apply her new system to facing down every fear in her life.
Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/005
playlist_add
Oct 8, 2013
Fear. Throat. Punch. Silence your Inner Critic.
Fear. Throat. Punch. A couple weeks ago I introduced my 'Punch Fear in the Throat' concept. Have you recovered yet? Good, because I want to poke that bear some more this week.
First, let me make it clear that I AM encouraging world-wide punching of FEAR in the throat. We will talk about removing toxic people (haters) from your life on another day but right now I am totally focused on silencing fear.
So nobody can say that I was advocating violence in case there is a rush of women punching each other in the throat. I did not say that. Are we clear on that? Good.
Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/003
playlist_add
Oct 3, 2013
Why Skipping Transition Steps Tastes Nasty
Transitions usually follow 6 steps. If you attempt to skip any of those steps you will be frustrated and you will delay the point when you will actually reach your goal. The steps of transformation will not be mocked--you must walk through them all to make lasting change. And we don’t want to make changes that don’t survive a season, do we?
Ask the gym owner who couldn’t sleep in January but is lonely now because all of the ‘temporary’ changes have been forgotten.
As you prepare to begin your transformation journey, I want you to be realistic about your level of readiness and prepare to be successful. Skipping transition steps taste nasty, just like skipping the salt when making a cake. Be realistic about what you need to do to transform.
Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/002
playlist_add
Sep 27, 2013
What Allegrativity Is And Why You Should Care
Don't look in the dictionary for the definition of Allegrativity. You won't find it there.
In this episode of the podcast, Allegra Sinclair defines Allegrativity and explains why she thought the term was necessary. She also shares her passion for helping to create a world filled with powerful women who are confident enough to live their intended purpose.
In this episode you will hear:
* The 6 major barriers that are currently holding many women back
* The danger in getting too much help on your journey
* How long it really takes to make lasting change
Listen in weekly for action steps for getting unstuck and assessing how you really want to show up in the world.
Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/001
playlist_add