The Contemplative Edge
Mar 29, 2021
How comfortable are you with silence in relationships?
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In this episode, we explore the relational aspects of silence, the factors that affect our comfort with silence and the quality of relational silence.
Timestamps to key points
[02:16] - Examples of silence in relationships
[04:50] - Paul Goodman’s 9 types of silence expanded
[09:20] - Context, culture and personality can affect our experience of silence
[12:10] - Sedatephobia is the fear of silence
[13:00] - The power of silence in coaching
More episodes from The Contemplative Edge
Apr 23, 2021
If silence is spiritual, is there a role for it in our secular world?
Is silence spiritual? In the third and final part of a group discussion on silence, we dive deeper into silence and the boundaries between spiritual and secular silence in society.
Timestamps to key points
[02:00] - Silence as the “presence of everything”, as spiritual
[02:20] - Nour on there being nothing before anything, on there being silence before any noise or sound, and God as silence
[03:00] - Everything being created by sound from nothing seems common to all traditions
[03:40] - Avalokiteshvara, the Bodhisattva of Deep Listening who listens deeply to the sounds of the world and has the capacity to utter five essential sounds that heal the world
[04:07] - “If you can find silence within yourself, you can hear these sounds” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh in his book, Silence - The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise
[04:15] - The 5 essential sounds
[04:46] - Science has the big bang, a sound, as the beginning, and recognises that everything is frequency, including sound
[05:57] - What is the role of silence in a secular society?
[06:13] - Malik on silence as relational, and silence as essential to communication and connection
[07:23] - Gary on the word in every tradition, there was silence in every tradition until a word is spoken. It’s the same with people.
[08:40] - Nour on how in silence we can allow the divine to come through us, and the importance of listening to our own silence
[09:03] - A story of a Quaker wedding, which is mostly in silence
[10:17] - The simplicity and profundity of another Quaker wedding, which enabled more connection to the bride and groom
[11:00] - Being a part of everything and awe struck in silence
[11:53] - An Islamic saint’s wisdom: “Only speak if your words are going to be more beautiful than silence"
[12:33] - Every change first starts with awareness
Guests
* Gary Gruber lives in Southern Arizona, USA and is a long time educator, active blogger, participates in a variety of groups working on spiritual development, change in organisations and growth in people. His blog can be found here: https://garygruber.com/, and he can be found on twitter @garyrgruber
* Malik has lived in many countries and is currently lives and works in NY, USA.
* Nourallah Chakroun lives in Cornwall, UK and is the founder of a women's group based in Truro, Cornwall called Inspiring Women Network (IWN). IWN can be found on twitter @InspiringWomenN and https://www.facebook.com/inspiringwomennetwork/
Resources/further reading
* Silence - The Power of Quiet in a World Full of Noise by Thich Nhat Hanh, available wherever books are sold and lent
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Apr 23, 2021
Barriers and benefits of enabling more silence in our lives
Given that silence is as essential as breathing, why is it so hard to prioritise? In part 2 of this group discussion on silence, we explore the barriers and benefits of consciously taking time for silence in our busy lives.
Timestamps to key points
[00:55] - Introduction and recap of part 1
[02:00] - Why when silence is so essential, is it so difficult to prioritise and spend time in?
[02:07] - Malik on the impact of technology and the lack of role models
[02:50] - Gary on it not being hard, though we make it hard with conscious or unconscious obstacles. "It's as easy as breathing"
[04:01] - Nour on the challenge being silencing thoughts and an overactive mind
[04:36] - Silence and stillness are very connected; sitting in silence is just the first layer
[05:17] - Silence as a neutral gear to disengage the mind
[06:14] - Silence as a kind of fasting, i.e. abstaining from noise. To reap the full benefits abstaining alone is not enough
[06:47] - Nour on having had a taste of silence and wanting more
[07:19] - We don’t engage in natural, daily functions such as breathing and eating, and silence, consciously and mindfully?
[08:29] - Malik on the power of pre-dawn silence to think
[08:45] - Nour on sitting in early morning post-prayer silence and walking in the woods, and the clarity and creativity that comes from it
[10:00] - Fears and doubts can also creep in
[10:30] - Gary on being out in nature and connected to and close to the source of being, cognisant of being a part of creation itself
[12:00] - The benefits of silence being experienced in early morning silence
[13:15] - Recognising that silence, if it is "the presence of everything" includes the difficult and challenging
Guests
* Malik has lived in many countries and is currently lives and works in NY, USA.
* Nourallah Chakroun lives in Cornwall, UK and is the founder of a women's group based in Truro, Cornwall called Inspiring Women Network (IWN). IWN can be found on twitter @InspiringWomenN and https://www.facebook.com/inspiringwomennetwork/
* Gary Gruber lives in Southern Arizona, USA and is a long time educator, active blogger, participates in a variety of groups working on spiritual development, change in organisations and growth in people. His blog can be found here: https://garygruber.com/, and he can be found on twitter @garyrgruber
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Apr 22, 2021
Other People's Experiences of and Relationships to Silence
How do different people experience and relate to silence? In part 1 of this group discussion on silence, we hear when the last time people took time in silence was, what their relationship to silence is and how it has shifted and changed over time.
Timestamps to key points
[01:24] - Introduction to the group guests
[02:20] - Nour's last time in silence, post morning prayers
[03:15] - Malik's last time in silence, Shavasana at the end of yoga
[04:00] - Gary’s last time in silence, morning prayers / daily practice
[05:00] - Regularly quieting the mind by taking a few moments in silence
[06:24] - Pre- and post- pandemic challenges
[06:50] - A silent moment that was golden
[07:49] - Gary's relationships with silence: spiritual food, life force that nourishes, sustains, lift ups, undergirds and excites
[09:56] - Malik’s thinking about silence has shifted from a noise level to a state of mind
[10:44] - Nour’s relationship with silence has shifted and deepened from an external relationship to an internal and spiritual one
[12:23] - What is your relationship with silence, and how has it changed over the course of your life, over the last few months, and as a result of listening to this series on silence?
Guests
* Gary Gruber lives in Southern Arizona, USA and is a long time educator, active blogger and participates in a variety of groups working on spiritual development, change in organisations and growth in people. His blog can be found here: https://garygruber.com/, and he can be found on twitter @garyrgruber.
* Malik has lived in many countries and is currently lives and works in NY, USA.
* Nour Chakroun lives in Cornwall, UK and is the founder of a women's group based in Truro, Cornwall called Inspiring Women Network (IWN). IWN can be found https://www.facebook.com/inspiringwomennetwork/
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