The Art of We
The Art of We
Feb 16, 2023
17. #1 Reason Couples Have Conflict
Play • 26 min

If you're in a relationship, you most likely experience conflict. It doesn’t always look like explosive fights or constant bickering — it might also manifest as living parallel lives, lacking deeper connection and having different priorities.

In this episode, we share what we believe is at the source of this conflict for couples and our strategy for moving into a more collaborative “We” experience that has the capacity to realize a greater purpose together.

When we have different priorities (or “values”)  than one another, it’s easy to perceive each other’s priorities as conflicting. This can show up in differences of how we each want to spend our time or having different needs and goals than our partner. When this happens we can get stubborn, get defensive, or give in. 

However, there’s an alternative approach that creates an entirely different possibility, one that not only meets everyone’s needs but also creates a new stage of more security, strength and potency for what a couple can achieve together. This approach inspires us to take full responsibility for cultivating a dynamic relationship that contributes on a greater level.

In this episode we share three different stages that couples go through and how at the highest stage our values are not conflicting at all – rather they are actually the blueprint for the greater purpose of the “We.” We work through examples of our own experience, and how this process is helping us earn secure attachment at a whole new level. 

If you're interested in exploring this concept further, we recommend checking out Dr. John Demartini's Values Determination Process. If your partner is also willing to go through the steps, it’s a great starting point to have a conversation about your findings and where you can begin linking your top values with each other. 

Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Topics Covered:

  • Tools for deprogramming any internalized values and understanding your true priorities 
  • How we got back in alignment when our priorities were out of sync 
  • A tool for holding the “We” in a supportive way, especially inside of conflict
  • Deepening the security and strength of possibilities within your relationship 
  • How we’re experiencing conflict at this stage in our partnership 

Resources Mentioned

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