245: How to Not Die Alone - Using Science to Crack the Code of Modern Dating - with Logan Ury
Modern dating can be so challenging. Simply finding good people is challenging. Knowing how to take a relationship to the next level, when to commit, or when to get out of a relationship so that you can find something better - that’s challenging! Today we’re going to focus on all the ways that you can get out of your own way, and use the power of behavioral science to make better choices and break old patterns as you navigate the world of modern love. Our guest is Logan Ury, author of the new book “How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science that Will Help You Find Love”. You’ll find that there are all sorts of ways for you to adjust what you do to make the kinds of decisions that lead to deeper, more fulfilling connections.
And, as always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you.
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Logan’s book “How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love” is finally available!
Check out Logan Ury’s website where you can take her quiz to assess your “dating tendency”.
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www.neilsattin.com/logan2 Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Logan Ury.
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Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome back, to another episode of relationship alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. We are fortunate to be having a return visit from my friend and colleague Logan Ury, a Harvard-trained behavioral scientist turned Dating Coach, whose new book “How to Not Die Alone: The surprising Science that will help you find love” is FINALLY available. Yes, go order it now. Or, well, listen to what she has to say - then go order the book. Logan is also the Director of Relationship Science for the dating app Hinge. And, as you’ll hear today - she knows her shit. See, we are making choices all the time, and those choices impact the kinds of relationships we do (or don’t) have. Logan’s work does such a good job of pointing out the ways that our decision-making can actually get in the way of having a fulfilling love life. You may recall that she was here back in episode 231 - if you want to listen to that episode you can visit neilsattin.com/logan. And, for today’s episode, if you want to download a transcript just visit neilsattin.com/logan2 (that’s logan and the number 2) - or, as always, you can text the word “PASSION” to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. Let’s dive in. Logan Ury - so glad to have you back with us here on Relationship Alive.
Logan Ury: Thank you, Neil. It's always fun to talk to you, whether it's for the podcast or just through our friendship, and I'm so grateful that you invited me back on the show.
Neil Sattin: Let's start with this question of how you get prepared to go out into the dating world? Because as I was mentioning in the intro, so much of what we do in the choices that we make are just sort of based on what the world throws our way in terms of who we meet, or who we swipe right on and who swipes right back. And I'm curious to know if you have a basic idea of how we can prepare ourselves without getting caught in trying to be over-prepared, like one of... We talked about the three tendencies in our last conversation, and you talked about hesitaters, and their tendency might be to be over-prepared. So, what kind of preparation is actually necessary for being successful in modern dating?
Logan Ury: Yeah, I'm glad that we're starting the conversation here because this is where I would start the conversation with the new dating coaching client...
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