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Just Gonna Read This
An eclectic high-concept podcast. No interviews. No opinions. Very little common sense, or good taste. Untainted by success. Because there was nothing on TV.
Apr 3, 2021
Appealing Ways (or, Barenaked Apples)
I don't dare confront them. Every episode at www.justgonnareadthis.ca Email email@example.com I'm going to teach myself how to knit. Just thought you'd want to know.
Mar 26, 2021
Stream of Consciousness Colon Urine Semicolon A Return To Form
No more robo voice! The real thing is back! Aren't you thrilled? Episode 5/10 of the final season of Just Gonna Read This is a real Paige Turner. She went to my High School. Just Gonna Read This: Now with more episodes than Hello, Larry! Every episode at www.justgonnareadthis.ca Email firstname.lastname@example.org
Mar 20, 2021
The Yellow Wallpaper: Phoning-In Every Single Word
The shark, jumped he hath been. Don't mind me, just phoning in a few final season episodes, leading up to the big ol' clip show finale. Just like all your favourite TV shows. All the episodes at www.justgonnareadthis.ca Angry emails to email@example.com The Dumbest Things Posted On The Internet (not including this podcast)
Mar 12, 2021
When To Eat A Computer (or The Wolves Are Having A Bottle Drive)
When is the right time to eat an IBM 1401 Programming System? Who really knows? Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Every Episode: www.justgonnareadthis.ca
Mar 5, 2021
How To Make Money Beep Boop Beep Text To Speech Boop Beep Boop
How to make money while being super lazy. And I mean SUPER lazy. Consume every episode at www.justgonnareadthis.ca Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to email@example.com The Facebook Page The Pinterest The Instagram SpaceJam
Feb 27, 2021
Twenty-Seven Drawings By William Blake - Season 5 Premiere
Just when I thought I was out....I found more under the sofa. The Season 5 Premiere of Just Gonna Read This. Twenty-Seven Drawings By William Blake. It's not what you would expect. It's much worse. See the 27 drawings at www.facebook.com/justgonnareadthis Consume all the episodes at www.justgonnareadthis.ca To correspond, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to firstname.lastname@example.org
Jan 21, 2021
Dr. Willie Johnson's Remedy - Season 4 Finale
The season 4 finale! A terrifying medical pamphlet from 1885 is the basis for this...thing. This is not your Gramma's Just Gonna Read This. Email email@example.com Every Episode www.justgonnareadthis.ca Have you heard of this? Wow! It's got everything! www.wikipedia.org
Jan 20, 2021
Present At A Hanging (and Other Ghost Stories) S4E9
Bobby Orr. Politics. Ghost Stories. Ambrose Bierce. Boopy boop boop boop. Email firstname.lastname@example.org Every episode can be found at www.justgonnareadthis.ca Unrelated, but KICK ASS www.mammothwvh.com
Jan 17, 2021
The Inconveniences of Immoderate Indulgence - S4E8
A lesson on the pitfalls of gluttony, but in an 18th Century kind of way. Send us an email, right now. RIGHT NOW! email@example.com Listen to every episode. Because I said so. www.justgonnareadthis.ca You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about.
Jan 15, 2021
Man, I Had A Dreadful Flight. I’m Back - S4E7
*FIG. 35. Bent wood propellers and the methods of fastening them to the shaft. * *Email *firstname.lastname@example.org *Every Episode:* www.justgonnareadthis.ca
Dec 31, 2020
Honey Pie, Honey Pie, I Love You. S4E6
Season 4 Episode 6, and the last of 2020, The Story of A Pumpkin Pie! A kind and wholesome story about some kids from 1898 and their quest for pie, with a special appearance by The World's Most Infectious Band! Listen to every episode of Just Gonna Read This at www.justgonnareadthis.ca Email email@example.com
Dec 23, 2020
S4E5 The 2020 Christmas Special - A Visit From Saint Nicholas
The 2020 Christmas Special - A Visit From Saint Nicholas What was hung by the chimney? Watch the video: A Middle-Aged Idiot Reads A Visit From Saint Nicholas Email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Nov 19, 2020
S4E4: Familiar Animals
An invisible red thread connects the elements of the improperly-stored microwave. Cows, calfs, and horses. Contact Just Gonna Read This at *email@example.com*
Nov 5, 2020
S4E3: Lest We Forget
From An American Crusader at Verdun, by Philip S. Rice, this is Chapter 13, Under Fire in an Ambulance. Published in 1918. The horrors of The Great War had to be renamed World War 1, because we didn't learn our lesson the first time. Lest We Forget. Contact Just Gonna Read This at *firstname.lastname@example.org*
Oct 9, 2020
True Crime: The Sudden Death of Levi Pinkerton
If you listen to this or any episode, send us an email and say hi! Even if you think this is the worst garbage you’ve ever heard, we want to hear from you. *email@example.com* The Sudden Death of Levi Pinkerton is our very first "true crime" episode. I hang out on IRC and ICQ on Thursdays between 9pm and 11pm, and the people there tell me that true crime is a very popular podcast genre, so I figured I'd throw my flat cap into the ring with this doozy of an episode. Ripped straight from the newspaper account and official transcript of the Coroner's Court Inquest into the death of Levi Pinkerton, 34, in Birmingham England in July 1889. Email us: *firstname.lastname@example.org*
Sep 13, 2020
S4E1 REDACTED: I Fought The Lawyers and The Lawyers Won
The dumb little podcast, Just Gonna Read This, is back with the first episode of season 4: *REDACTED: I Fought The Lawyers and The Lawyers Won* Sometimes you just have to give in and admit that your original plan wasn't, in the legal sense, a very good idea. Got a question? Comment? Hate mail idea? Drop me an email and say hi! I’d love to hear from you. email@example.com http://www.justgonnareadthis.ca
May 13, 2020
S3 Bonus Episode - The First Lines of Emails I've Received While Quarantining: A Poem
This special season 3 bonus episode is a cringey reading of the virally retweeted poem, The First Lines of Emails I've Received While Quarantining, by Jessica Salfia, the first live author to be featured!
May 3, 2020
S3E10 Leave Me Where I Am: I’m Only Sleeping
Monstrously dumb, the season finale of Just Gonna Read This Season 3 is a measles fever dream breaking at the zoo.
Apr 29, 2020
S3E9 How To Thoreau A Bitchin' Beach Party At Walden Pond: Just Kidding, It's A Long Fart
The title serves as a warning.
Apr 19, 2020
S3E8 Kittens & Cats: A First Reader (or An Astronaut Loses Consciousness)
This episode can best be described as a plea for help. Alternatively, it is what happens when an astronaut loses consciousness and slowly comes back. Very slowly. If you listen, say hello at firstname.lastname@example.org
Apr 6, 2020
S3E7 Condensed Classics For The Crapper Volume 1
Wildly reckless abridged audio book classics, to be enjoyed in the comfort room, washroom, bathroom, water closet, terlet, john, or crapper. Listen all at once during a serious session, or listen in quick bursts spread out over the aftermath of Brenda’s chili. Find it all and more at www.justgonnareadthis.ca The absurdity continues on instagram @35mmfinds This episode is not suitable for children that you care about.
Mar 29, 2020
S3E6 Mother Goose Was A Drunkard
Have you ever actually read any of the real Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes? Let's just say, I am of the mind that the woman liked the sauce. Have a listen and you tell me.
Mar 14, 2020
S3E5 Remembrance & Nostalgia: Remembering A Friend
This special March 14 episode is a memorial, of sorts, to a dear friend and former bandmate. Yeah, it's a little personal, but sometimes ya just gotta. Not a typical Just Gonna Read This episode, but not a drag either. Join us for the ride and hear sounds that you never ever learned. Under The Sky Video (1992) Tasty Fish - The Way It Goes (1991) Find it all and more at http://www.justgonnareadthis.ca
1 hr 1 min
Mar 4, 2020
S3E4 Wind On The Stomach
Ever wonder what THE celebrity chef of the 19th Century had to offer? Me neither. Regardless, here is a selection of his best recipes for us working folk. Random (or are they?) selected recipes from *A PLAIN COOKERY BOOK FOR THE WORKING CLASSES. *BY CHARLES ELMÉ FRANCATELLI. Published in 1852. The most riveting episode yet. Be careful who you share this with.
Feb 18, 2020
S3E3 Too Many Eggs
Everybody likes fried eggs for breakfast, but would a chicken?
Feb 9, 2020
S3E2 The Happy Homicide
“It's not so bad, being on trial for murder. Of course, it's a little embarrassing—when the principal witness is the corpse!”
Feb 2, 2020
S3E1: Nearly 1.5 Million Marlon Brandos and The Next Generation
*SEASON 3 IS HERE!* New Season - New Music - Same Lame Dude Talking S3E1: Nearly 1.5 Million Marlon Brandos and The Next Generation is out now! Visit wwwjustgonnareadthis.ca to listen to every episode and look at a bunch of old 35mm slides I collect that have nothing to do with the podcast! You can find Just Gonna Read This wherever you get your podcasts, like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and iHeartRadio.
Dec 22, 2019
2019 Christmas Special: The First 3,005 Words of A Christmas Carol
My gift to you this holiday season is an awkward reading of the first 3,005 words of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. I make no apologies to Kevin Costner. Stay tuned for Just Gonna Read This: Season 3 in early 2020. www.justgonnareadthis.ca
Nov 9, 2019
S2E10 The Gettysburg: A Dress
The Season 2 finale is here! S2E10 The Gettysburg: A Dress
Nov 1, 2019
S2E9 In Flanders Fields
No jokes in this one folks. Except that one.
Oct 27, 2019
S2E8 The Alphabet: Non-Dairy...or is it?
Oct 20, 2019
S2E7 The Dead Woman's Photograph
Just in time for Halloween, an unexplained and supernatural tale from 1904: The Dead Woman's Photograph. Public domain literature never sounded so...odd. Things rarely are what they seem.
Sep 23, 2019
S2E6 The One with the Baby on the Bus
The first and last chapters of an old book by Hugh Walpole, more Robert Service, two attempts at the same joke, more sketchy recipes, and a trailer, literally a trailer. We're all Friends here.
Sep 10, 2019
S2E5 Good God Lemon!
To salt, or not to salt, that is the question. Whether 'tis blah blah blah. Lemons. Tasty animals. Non-sequiturs. Light and fluffy drama. Listen to every episode of the podcast at www.justgonnareadthis.ca Visit us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Email complaints to email@example.com Just Gonna Read This: Often Ignored, Never Imitated
Sep 3, 2019
S2E4 Cause Of Death
In this back-to-school episode, your intrepid reader reads Cause Of Death by Max Tadlock, from the November 1955 edition of Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine. As usual, there's more to it than that. Squint and you may see it.
Aug 27, 2019
S2E3 Screaming For Vengeance
The Vengeance Of A Tree. Birds Chirping. To The MAX. Hell hath no fury like a tree used for murder.
Aug 11, 2019
S2E2 The Apology and The Little Match Girl
Oh no! He did what?
Aug 6, 2019
S2E1 Butchering The Raven
In the Season 2 premiere, I butcher a classic. I'm just a Poe boy.
Feb 26, 2019
S1E10 Simple Remedies From 1832: Truly Outrageous
The Season 1 Finale. From The Frugal American Housewife, published in 1832, this is EP10: Simple Remedies - Truly Outrageous. A terrifying look at why we should never travel back in time. Plus, another instalment of Described Audio! Season 2 coming soon!
Feb 17, 2019
S1E9 TRS-80 Expansion Interface Operator's Manual
This one is longer than the rest. It starts with a toosh and ends with a swoosh. That doesn't mean a dang thing. Sleep, take me now.
Feb 8, 2019
S1E8 You Say It's Your Birthday. It's My Birthday Too. Yeah.
EP8 for February 8 is a very special episode of Just Gonna Read This. Find out who was famously beheaded on this day over 400 years ago!
Feb 4, 2019
S1E7 Robert Service and The Polar Vortex
Even for a kid from Winterpeg, this polar vortex thing is so not cool, man.
Jan 29, 2019
S1E6 A Cautionary Tale For Children
Obliterating the comfort zone and introducing narrative. An episode not for the faint of heart. I'm not kidding.
Jan 23, 2019
S1E5 Auntie Alice and The Wedding Announcements 1940
This one is a little...weird. But hey, aren't they all? Wedding and engagement announcements from 1940 are coming back in style. Wait. Nope, they're out of style again. Damn.
Jan 14, 2019
S1E4 Don't Try This At Home: Disgusting Recipes for Men from 1922
In this soon-to-be-classic episode, Judd reads several awful recipes from a cook book written for men, by men. Published in 1922, the recipes are timeless in their disgusting appeal. A real snoozer, to be sure.
Jan 7, 2019
S1E3 The Prairie Farmer Weekly Journal - January 5, 1884
EP3 Goes Wild! Highlights from The Prairie Farmer – A weekly Journal for The Farm, Orchard, and Fireside – Saturday January 5, 1884. If this one doesn't help you sleep, you need to see a physician.
Jan 3, 2019
S1E2 Do You Want To Know A Secret?
A soothing, dramatic, and confusing countdown from 300. Will we reach zero? Maybe, but don't ask Beverly.
Jan 1, 2019
S1E1 Highlights from the 1920 Henderson's Directory of The City of Winnipeg
In the first episode of Just Gonna Read This you are driven to the edges of boredom with a few pages from the 1920 edition of the Henderson's Directory of The City of Winnipeg. 2019 is The Year Of The Podcast, specifically this podcast. Listen up.