Friendship IRL
Friendship IRL
Jun 22, 2023
The Complexities of Introverted Friendships
Play • 1 hr 5 min

How does friendship affect introverts?

This is a topic I’ve been wanting to bring to the podcast for a long time, and since I’m an extrovert who is constantly energized by having people around me, I’m bringing in Becky Mollenkamp, a self-proclaimed “hardcore introvert” who likes to be alone a lot of the time.

Becky and I drop into the real, raw behind the scenes of how being an introvert has affected her friendships and how she’s created the experiences she desires. We also cover how to balance introverted and extroverted friendships, how to protect your friends’ time and boundaries, and why we often mix up what it truly means to be an introvert.

If you’ve ever told yourself “I'm a bad friend,” or “I am just not good at this,” or “I'm never going to make new friends,” those thoughts are VALID, and a lot of people are experiencing something similar.

I hope this conversation makes you feel a lot less alone. So much energy is spent comparing what we “think” friendship should look like, when in reality, we should take that energy and think about how to build relationships that feel good for us.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The limiting beliefs Becky has held on to about friendship, and why it’s sometimes easier for her to forgo investing time and energy into friendships in favor of being alone
  • Becky recaps her experiences with friendship through childhood and beyond college. Most of her friends were only there for a season since she moved around so much
  • Attachment styles, and how your given attachment style can affect how you form close relationships (and potentially sabotage them)
  • “The Liking Gap” and why most people actually underestimate how much another person likes them
  • Most of what we see in society is an extroverted vision of friendship. We talk about what it looks like to have a friendship amongst introverts, or where one person in the friendship is an introvert
  • Spending time together will look differently for introverts than it will for extroverts. As such, some friends will spend more time together as they have similar energies, but there are ways to make introverted friendships even more fulfilling

Resources & Links

Connect with Becky on Instagram at @beckymollenkamp, LinkedIn, Twitter, or on her website.

Check out the article, The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think?

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

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