S01E09 The Theresa Gets Bad Feedback Episode
Play • 35 min

Check-In Question:

  • Do you think it's appropriate to cry at work, and when was the last time you cried at work? 

Big Ideas:

  • Is appropriate the right word to refer to having emotions at work?
  • Judgment behind the work appropriate
  • Permission to have the full range of emotions, even at work
  • How criticism brings up a sense of threat, even if we don't consciously think of it
  • The importance of specific feedback, so we know what to do differently or more of
  • Negativity bias
  • What makes feedback appropriate, useful, or adequate? 
  • Imposter syndrome
  • Knowing what triggers us to get defensive
  • How style interacts with purpose/vision, from a tactical perspective
  • Clarity up front about your style
  • Turning threats into opportunities
  • Making our methods/styles into a differentiating factors (USP)
  • What are people's expectations before engaging in a learning space?
  • Is the feedback touching the core of who I am, or is it more tactical? 
  • Looking at making abstract ideas more actionable
  • "Our judgments are the tragic expressions of our unmet needs" ~Marshall Rosenberg
  • Bias coming from expectations
  • Respecting and honoring other people's feedback and their stories, rather than explaining away or defending their perspective
  • Letting some feedback float away in the distance
  • Looking at the needs behind people's feedback
  • How are we prioritizing feedback? Is the feedback in line with our values? What feedback are we holding on to, and what are we letting go? 


  • No Hard Feelings by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy
  • Big Feelings by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy
  • Brené Brown's discussion of creating observable behaviors for abstract ideas in the book Dare to Lead
  • Marshall Rosenberg and Non-Violent Communication
  • Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown

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