Ep. 5 | Midlife Is Better When You Listen and Drop Judgement
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So, how has Beginner’s Mindset been treating you thus far? Where you able to think of time that you were a beginner, or a time that you supported a loved one in being a beginner?

What emotions came up for you and can you recall how you felt once you took the leap? Maybe ease wasn’t necessarily the first outcome, but I can imagine that eventually it was part of the process. 

AND whether it was your personal experience, or supporting someone else’s experience I have to believe that a sense of pride was part of the process as well, no? That’s what I thought! A nice emotion that helps to remind us that begin a beginner isn’t necessarily a bad place to be.

Now, if you have no idea of what I’m currently speaking about, please go back to last week’s episode 15 to get all the specifics! Today, let’s explore the notions of Listening and Not Judging

So, I have to ask … do you consider yourself a good listener. Before you say yes, just as I did, research shows that the average person listens at only about 25% efficiency. Honestly, with the multitude of distractions, as well as the need to show one’s keen skills at multi-tasking I’m shocked that the percentage is that high!

It turns out that listening isn’t just about having ears, but actually about the importance of truly tuning in to what’s being said in conversation with others, or self. It’s about focusing in on one thing, not the multitude of distractions that can run through your thoughts while conversations are taking place. 

It’s also about simple doing one thing at a time to create the action and sense of truly being in the moment. Hmmmm, so it turns out that listening can be more effective with less doing and more presence. Let’s keep that in mind as our attention goes towards Step 2. 

Not Judging is another topic that heart-centered people most likely feel they have a real grasp on, but is that true? I personally think that passing judgment is a natural human behavior, yet we have to be aware of how it’s showing up in our daily lives. For our purposes today, let’s focus on self-judgment, because I believe that’s where real growth happens. 

One question for you, is the re-occurring chatter in your mind positive or negative? If you answered negative, the odds are you’re being a hard judge of yourself. You already know that isn’t an ideal approach to finding comfort in an uncomfortable new beginning. So, lets shift that chatter now with one approach.

 Your first exercise for this week, be aware of personal bias and recognize where your unconscious preferences and motivations influence how you make decisions. If your decisions are keeping you stuck in patterns that have expired their usefulness, that’s a great indicator to drop the non-serving judgements, while choosing to lean into a new beginning. 

Your second exercise this week, when in conversation with someone choose to be present. This means no multi-tasking in exchange for honest, tuned-in listening. If you find you’re struggling with this exercise, give yourself tangible goals, such as 5 minutes of uninterrupted listening. As that goal grows into ease, add more time, and notice if you also begin becoming a better listener of self in the process. 

The more we can practice listening and being less judgmental the more we can honestly tune into what new beginnings may be right in front of us!

Next Wednesday, we will explore Steps 3 and 4, make sure you follow and hit the reminder button, so you don’t miss a thing! This week enjoy being in the moment by tuning into your personal judgments and fully listening to yourself and others. 

I’m Ericka, the Curator of Zest wishing you a zest-filled week!

 

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