Sexual Shame & The Myth of the Perfect Labia
Play • 56 min

On today’s episode of “The Language of Love,” Dr. Laura Berman talks about sexual shame and why so many people are uncomfortable talking about sex. Why is something so natural and so fundamental to the human species so taboo in our culture? And how can we start to break down those barriers and normalize human sexuality?

Next, Dr. Berman talks about how aging can impact our bodies and our sexual response. Although there is no such thing as a ‘sexpiration date,’ and older people can desire and benefit from sexual intimacy even in their golden years, the truth is that as we age, our sexual response can become complicated.

Your genitals will change in appearance as you age, but this doesn’t have to be a source of shame or low self-worth. Many women may be tempted by the idea of ‘vaginal rejuvenation,’ especially as they age and notice changes to their labia, but these operations come with lots of potential downsides.

Not only are these vaginal rejuvenation surgeries totally unnecessary, but Dr. Berman says they can actually harm the nerve-rich tissue in your labia and actually detract from your sexual pleasure in the future as well as cause physical pain and dryness.

The bottom line is that genitals come in all different sizes and shapes, and it’s time we start empowering women to love and cherish their vulvas rather than judge or critique them.

“What’s most attractive to men is that sense of confidence and comfort that a woman has in her own body and her sexuality,” Dr. Berman says. “They are not analyzing the length of your labia or how they’re sticking out or not sticking out.” 

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