Alicia has an insight about not taking things personally. Luckily, she already has examples in her life where she feels immune to what Mateo says to her, and seeing that she doesn’t always take what he says personally allows her to see her own role in her reactivity. Rohini helps guide Alicia toward the truth of where her experience is always coming from, that we can only ever feel our own thinking, not circumstances. Together they explore how not being impacted by someone else’s behavior is empowering, not passive.

Alicia begins to view her reactivity as a common denominator in other relationships as well, which helps her embrace the idea of waiting for a calm mind before responding to Mateo. The Rewilders teach the couple about how emotions move through us, so even though they are coming from within, they are not another thing to try and control. Instead, we can treat our feelings like the weather and ride them out.

This episode explores:

• The personal vs. the impersonal
• The power of not taking things personally
• How feelings act as a guide to our state of mind at any moment
• Behavior is a reflection of the other person’s state of mind, which has nothing to do with us
• Gaining compassion for our partner when they’re in a low mood
• The way to decrease volatility in relationships
• Connecting with our own inner peace regardless of our partner
• We experience what we are identifying with in our own mind, not circumstances
• Understanding our experiences come from within is liberating
• Emotions move through us like the weather, we can wait until we feel more settled to act

Podcast music: Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area.

Ep. 4 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity

Show notes
Cad and a bounder: Old fashioned, British phrase for saying a man is acting in an unkind, deceitful, or selfish way.

North American irony: Angus questions whether this exists.

Feedback: info@therewilders.org

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.