Mess Is More
Mess Is More
Dec 8, 2020
The Four Horsemen of Fighting
Play • 1 hr 9 min

"It was the best of times. It was the end of times." Do you find that tempers are running hot in your household? Like wild horses? Like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse?! Fighting with your partner can feel like armageddon is imminent, especially when it seems like the world is falling apart around us.

In this episode Nate & Emily saddle up with the Four Horsemen of Fighting. These four behaviors are toxic to a relationship and are accurate predictors of divorce. They break down how Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling can become part of a vicious cycle in a relationship and admit which ones they struggle with most.

But don't worry, they also talk about what they've learned about managing conflict instead of resolving it, contending instead of winning, and the antidotes to send the Horsemen back to hell where they belong.

For more info on the Four Horsemen and the Gottman Institute, visit

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