A Mother’s Caregiving Legacy as Reflected by Her Children
Play • 24 min

Dannelle speaks with her sisters, Lena and Angela Banks! In this episode, Dannelle and her sisters discuss their mother’s experience as a caregiver for their grandmother and how her journals have given them insight into her experience. You’ll learn about the traditions of family caregiving and how we can better recognize and support caregivers. Lena, Angela, and Dannelle also discuss self-care through knowing our own limits as a means of reducing burnout or health issues.


“When it comes to caregiving, it is difficult and it is hard, but there is joy also to be found in serving others and knowing that because you were there you made someone's life better.” - Angela Banks 


Timestamps  


  • 03:29 Lena and Angela’s core values 
  • 06:13 Lena and Angela’s feelings about their mom’s caregiving 
  • 09:54 Tips for caregivers 
  • 13:24 The value of journaling for caregivers 
  • 16:57 Their mom's passions outside of caregiving 

Takeaway Learnings 

  1. The unspoken obligation of family caregiving happens so frequently, in so many different families, it can be hard to see. Many of us take on the responsibilities without much thought, and therefore we’re unlikely to be prepared for the challenges. 
  2. Self-care is of the utmost importance for us and those we care for. We can’t rely on the consent or support of others to determine whether or not we do what’s necessary for our own wellbeing. Paying attention to our limits and setting (and re-setting) boundaries are a part of loving ourselves. Those limits and boundaries may be related to a specific task, our time, our emotions or physical health, or anything that requires the finite amount of energy we have. 


Actionable Tips  

  1. Try to listen without trying to solve the problem. The reason why this is an effective way to support a caregiver is because sometimes the problem may be unsolvable, but having someone just listen, makes room for us to find potential solutions on our own and to process our emotions in a more healthy way. 
  2. Consider writing down thoughts and feelings in a journal, or even on random pieces of paper, without judgement. You can speak, or even yell the stress out loud, in private. Share with others who understand what it’s like in a support group. Any way that relieves the pressure before it overflows. Our stress needs to go somewhere. 
  3. Acknowledge the work and positive difference that a caregiver makes, whether that’s you or someone else. 
  4. It may be helpful to think about what tasks can be done differently to save time. 



About Angela and Lena Banks

Angela is an attorney and writer. She received her bachelor's in Business Administration and a Doctorate of Jurisprudence from the University of Texas at Austin. She lives in the Dallas area with her nine-year-old son, Ronan.  


Lena has worked in strategy and marketing for nearly 20 years, with a focus on data-driven decision-making, and innovation within organizations. Lena lives and works in Austin and currently serves as VP of Member Experience and Business Intelligence for Texas Medical Association. 



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