The Hatening

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The Hatening

Robert Hansen & Andrew McClymont

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These are just some things I've been thinking about

The Hatening

Available episodes

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Newest first

Oldest first

Story Time : Plan B With A Side of Fries

Here’s a story about the people I was spending time with when I moved back home after college

Story Time : Maybe I’m Just Hungry

Here’s a story about a buddy having a really bad time

Story Time : A Titanic

Here’s a story about starting your day in the winter

Story Time : Cup Switcheroo

Here’s a story about a pretty intense game of beer pong

Story Time : House Party

Here’s a story about a wild party

Story Time : Sierra Blanca

Here’s a story about how I’m probably a cannibal

Story Time : My House of Cards

Here’s a story about an interesting bathroom break at work

Story Time : Bigfoot

Here’s a story about how I saw bigfoot in highschool

Story Time : The Second Coming

Here’s a story about one of my returns to college after a holiday break

Double or Nothing

Don't look now, but you'll never guess who just showed up

Oh, You Got Another Dog?

Man, did you see how big the cat got?

Go on and throw on something nice, we're going out tonight!

You're A Really Good Friend

Here, let me give you a hand (even if it gets annoying)

let us have a look back at the previous year, shall we

The Man in The Mirror

I think my butt's getting big

Second and Goal

There's a flag on the play

Smoking, But Science

(that crackle noise)

Jumping Off The Wagon

Sometimes you just end up being wasted for like a week

How Does That Make You Feel?

Tell me about your mother

It's nice to talk to you again

i couldn't decide between a spring breakers joke and a squidbillies joke

Drowning In Tupperware

I'm cooking 5 pounds of veggies right now, literally, as I'm uploading this episode. For real. I'm trying to be better about this.

Take The Cameras Off Me!

When people stop being polite and start being REAL!

What even is time?

Politically Speaking

Look, all I'm going to say is ...

The edited version of "Word of Mouf" by Ludacris is a work of art, for real

I'm going to rob the jewelry store and demand that they craft me a grill

What even is an SMS?

dripping stains when I switch lanes

(Bath) bombs over Baghdad

Don't Buy That Stuff

The only power we have as consumers is our spending power

Lemme Tag This Real Quick

I wonder what my cool graffiti name would be

The First Line From "Walls" By Emery

hello, im listening

I've been delivering stuff for like half a decade and have never been offered sex for my services, contrary to so many adult entertainment storylines

Go Out There and Play With Your Friends

its way too nice to be sitting in front of that computer

I Got What You Need

Wearing a suit and tie everyday sounds exhausting

Who Wants To Be Not In Debt?

What would you do with a million dollars?

Dude I Totally Miss You

Wish you were here

Everything Hurts

Back in my day…

A Regular Mathlete

Gotta look well rounded!

We Can Knock This Out Tonight

I've missed school and work because I would rather continue to watch a show

We Still Good For Later?

We have a strict schedule to follow!

Get In Loser, We're Going Wherever

imagine if you actually got ass, gas, or grass every time you gave someone a ride

and bad mistakes, I've made more than a few, for real

Another Year Down The Drain

2021 was something else, let's see what 2022 brings

Season 2 Announcement

Hey y’all, the second season of The Hatening is coming beginning of 2021, see you soon

Santa Claus Comin

the song white christmas is really bleak now that global warming made it like t shirt weather for the holidays

Just wanted to pop in and say hello, let y'all know what's going on on our end

Trust Me, I'm Cool To Drive

Road beers This episode was supposed to come out like a month ago but life happened, so this is pretty much a lost episode

Are Italian Americans Mad Now?

Happy Indigenous People's Day, even though I still have to go to work

Meet Me In The Mall, It Looks Like It's Going Down

The food court is hollowed ground

Dearest Mr. Sandman, Please Bring Me A Dream

Remember That X-Files Episode When Those Dudes Couldn't Sleep Anymore?

The Guestening 2

On the second installment of The Guestening Ashley Thompson from the Smut and Spice podcast comes on to talk about guilty pleasures.

(Insert State Name) Strong

Maryland is the best state in the multiverse

I Have Been Caught Off Guard

It would appear that you have found me with my pants around my ankles

Pop Your Pimples Like This

Clear skin is a myth

Lace Up Your Boots

There is nothing better than walking around looking at stuff

What Am I Doing With My Life?

From here on out, I'm gonna get it together

Come Fly With Me

Imagine how insane it would be to actually read other peoples' minds

In The Car I Just Can't Wait

Be honest, do you like my stupid hair?

Happy Labor Day, How Can I Help You?

This could been a cool holiday if, you know, America was cool https://thehatening.transistor.fm/

Thanks For Letting Me Crash Dude

You won't even know I'm here https://thehatening.transistor.fm/

This Is Y'alls' Captain Speaking

Is anyone actually in the mile high club? https://thehatening.transistor.fm/

What Even Is A Serving Size?

The war on carbs rages on https://thehatening.transistor.fm/

"Yeah, It's good to see you too buddy" (rolls eyes)

Hold On Let Me Make The Post Shareable

How long should I wait before I add that hottie we met last night?

Let Me Pencil You In

Hold on let me check the calendar that's in the kitchen where I organize my entire life

Yeah I Got A Girlfriend, But She Lives Out Of Town

How long would you drive, on the regular, for some loving?

Today Was Not Only A Good Day, But The Best Day

Nothing will ever be better than this, so why bother

Go On, Pull The Trigger

You ain't cut out for this life

Yo What's Up Jealousy

Look, I'm just saying, when y'all hangout I feel like ....

No One Makes This Better Than My Mom

This has been passed down for generations

Calling Your Parents Your Roommates Is So Sick

Its just until I get back on my feet

If You Thought Concession Stands Were Expensive At The Ballpark …

Something about brown acid

Y'all better wait like 30 minutes or whatever before you jump in

On The Low End Of The Dial

17th caller will get free tickets to the annual chili cookoff this weekend

Everything was so much easier before catfish

Put Your Sister On The Phone

Hold on real quick I got someone on the other line

This is My First Time

When a boy becomes a boy who has had sex

I Mean I'll Do It, I Guess

Look we just have to show face for like an hour, then we can dip out

Let Me Get Your Shorts

Remember the first time you smoked a menthol?

Happy Birthday America

Y'all better be careful with those fireworks

I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead Wearing That

Look, it takes a whole lot of effort to look this

The Guestening 1

On the first installment of The Guestening super producer Andrew comes on to talk about working on creative projects with friends

Mr. Clean Enough

How many people masterbate to the Brawny guy?

I'm A Million Different People

What kind of girl do you take me for?

It's Getting Hot In Here

Summertime sadness, even though I'm also sad during the other seasons too

Full Contact Murder Gymnastics

What is real, really?

I Got You A Little Something

Honestly, real shit, have you ever used a gift receipt?

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Romeo and Juliet really went for it, huh?

Yo blow on my dice real quick dude

If You Have To Ask The Price

Look I just need $2.34 to catch the last bus to Richmond, if you give me your address...

I'll eat like 8 hotdogs for you

Remember Using Chill Tubes?

Trust me, my dad is chill as long as we don't wake him up

Clean Up, Aisle 6

You know why they always have flowers up front, right?

Go On, You Deserve It

Get stoned and go to the spa, trust me, it rocks

Zen & The Art of Tailgating

Fuck sand. For real. I fucking hate sand.

I'm Not Crawling Out A Window, Sorry

Just park down the street, I'll be out in a minute

If I Could Turn Back Time

Where we're going, roads aren't really a thing

Novocain Rocks, Honestly

I definitely floss everyday, for sure

No, I Like You Like You

Damn, remember that movie Blue Crush?

It would be weird if you could actually turn a frown upside down, like on a swivel or whatever

You can't trust nobody, I don't even have a trust fund - Lil Wayne

Gonna fight 'til we see the sun light

Agents of S.N.A.C.K.

Hummus is so god damn good

Time To Trim The Hedges

I really tried to come up with some sort of hoe joke

I Got The Next Round

Yeah, I'll start a tab

Maybe Gamers Shouldn't Rise Up

Go get the other controller

One Day I'll Get Out Of This Town

I promise I'll call every Sunday

Spring = Sprung

Easter(n Promises)

I really hope the Easter bunny just drops off some pre rolled joints

Anyways, Here's Wagon Wheel

Wanna go spend 3 hours in Guitar Center?

Sup With That Spare Room?

Dude don't make me break out the chore wheel

Early In The Mourning

Boys do(n't) cry

Terminally Chill

Six months 'til checkout

Parents Have Yet To Understand

If you address your parents by their first name you are a psychopath

Erin Go Far Away From Me

St. Patrick's Day is so fucking stupid

When I Grow Up...

Remember when you were young and thought that 25 year olds were grown

I Think We Should See Other People

I always wanted to break up and then cut a couch in half or whatever

It's Too Late For Me

Face it, there are some things you just won't ever be able to do

What's Good Dummy?

Flipping off your friends is a sign of endearment

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I don't know about you, but I'm always ready for a nap

Just A Stranger On The Free Bus

Welcome to your morning drive time podcast

Paging Dr. Doom

I still have those grippy socks

Let's Just Unplug

We should totally just say "fuck it" and buy a farm you guys

Seeing Red Yet Again

Serenity eventually!

Happy Valentime's Day

I totally didn't get these flowers from the gas station

That Fancy Ass Television

Dude its like going to the movies, but like, you can stay at home

Welcome To Hell

Go on and stand behind me Satan

B.I.G or L.I.T.T.L.E?

If you can sleep in one position all night you are a psycho

I'm A Home Chef, Just So You Know

Something about being in the kitchen making pies or whatever

Gonna Kick It Into A Higher Gear

Depending on who you talk to, there is a chance I wouldn't be considered a real man

Please Don't Whip It Back And Forth

No, go ahead perfect stranger, please continue to touch my head and face

Looks Like We're Moving On Up

I got you on beer and pizza for the help

Water (Doesn't) Suck

Subs Vs. Dubs : The Eternal Battle

Well, technically speaking, the best way to watch it is...

What Did Your Mom Just Say?

I wish I spoke more than just English.

I hit a milestone and I don't know how I feel about it.

Yo I Swear To G

If you make things go the way I want them to I promise I'll go to church again.

Curious As To How I Acquired These Scars?

We all wanted to have that cool scar across our eye at some point.

Locked And Also Loaded

Hunting on em (get it)

Ringing In The New Year, Baby!

I wonder how many people are hung over today

I Made You A Mix

Did anyone ever figure out if sharpies really ruin cds?

Enlisting sounds fucking exhausting.

But Like Do You Get It?

I don't get visual art, like at all.

Evening Of The Living Dead

Brains, its what's for dinner

I'm no rat, I'm a shark!

Outside Is Where You Can Catch Me

Gather 'round the fire y'all

We Will Never Stop Working

Retirement is a relic

Gregory, Can You Milk Me?

I'm doing the breast I can!

What The Hell Is In A Name?

How do you fell about your name?

"(Cough Cough) Can't come in today boss"

I really only listen to...

Ghosts are super real

"I'm sure I can figure it out" - not me

No, for real, I'm good

Under The Knife

I want to look like Timothy Olyphant

The Litter Box In The Sky

This one is a fucking downer

Over The River And All That Shit

I'll call you when I'm done at my mom's

Pumpkin Spice Kind Of Life

Set phasers to soup

We're super witchy

Shitting your pants, like an adult

Everyone Remembers Their First (Car)

Did you get a new car for your 16th birthday or are you normal?

Better Do Your Chores

Did you have to do slave labor as a child?

I Got A BA In Partying

Maybe you should save your money and not go away for college

Drive Through Lifestyle

Fast food is cool now

I Know You Too Well To Work Here

Biggie said you gotta keep family and business completely separated

Space, The Whatever Frontier

I'm afraid to ascend

We're All Neighbors, Man

How you feel about the people you live around?

What You Wanna Eat?

Eating healthy is fucking hard

Politics Are Super Cool

Have pop culture and politics fused together?

You're Outta Here!

Have you ever been evicted or kicked out?

This is Reality

Do you fuck with reality tv?

They Are Watching

Do you care about being monitored?

How would you fare in a monster attack?

Do you actually have good posture?

Do you pay full price for your friends' services?

Where You From?

When someone asks where you're from, what do you say?

What do you do when you have some free time?

Working A Dumb Job

Everyone should probably work a job they hate at some point

The Hatening: An Introduction

Welcome to The Hatening

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