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Not Your Mother's Goose
Welcome to Topher Goggin's totally irreverent, mega-sarcastic fairy tale recaps for grown-ups, with laugh out loud "news" stories thrown in for good measure. This is definitely not your mother's goose.
Sep 28, 2021
Villains Champion, Tangled, NHL Comes to Arendelle
Get the full recap of the thrilling final round of the Tournament of Villains. Maleficent and Scar exchanged the lead 10 times and the final margin was just 6 votes (out of nearly 500). We'll also take a look at Tangled and This Little Piggy and have news coverage of the NHL's expansion to Arendelle and Rudolph's new compact fluorescent nose. The Big Bad Wolf has a new home improvement store named "Blowe's," and Andrew Mitchell is back with a new Rapunzel's Jukebox parody, reworking the citizens of Penny Lane into Mother Goose characters.
Sep 6, 2021
Tournament of Villains Finals, Dumbo, H&R Croc
The NYMG Tournament of Disney Villains has nearly crowned it's Baddest of All-Time, as we've reach our final two: Maleficent vs. Scar. It's bitter sorceress vs. fratricidal lion for all the marbles. Our expert panel will break it down, including analysis from our own "Sir Charles" (who may or may not be four years old). To vote in the finals, visit: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/villains-finals Also on this episode: * Take flight with Dumbo to learn about the placebo effect * The Count takes over as host of American Top 40 * Iron Chef is back, including new Iron Chef Canned Goods, Chef Boyardee * Movie Before and After: Batman and Robin Hood * EVERYTHING you could possibly want to know about The Muffin Man (a fairly short segment)
Aug 17, 2021
Tournament of Villains Semis, Willy Wonka, "Bad Bad Captain Hook"
Full Episode Segment Summary: - Intro - Villains Voting Results and Announcement of Semis - News (Including Curious George getting arrested for chasing weasels, and the Geico Gecko being hired to replace Gordon Gekko) - Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (i.e. The Wind in the Willows) - Villains Tournament, ahem, "Expert" Panel (including discussion of whether Gaston was hampered by too much fast twitch muscle) - Rapunzel's Jukebox: "Bad Bad Captain Hook" by Andrew Mitchell
Jul 27, 2021
Tournament of Villains Round 2, Little Tommy Tucker, Sleeping Beauty and the Beast
The top seeds join the fray as our Tournament of Villains hits the Evil Eight. Then we'll check on Little Tommy Tucker's search for cutlery, mashup "Sleeping Beauty and the Beast" (including terrifying new villain "Malefiston of the Magic Biceps"), learn of David Copperfield's Made-for-TV escape from Rapunzel's Tower, and dial up and Emperor's New Clothes tune on Rapunzel's Jukebox.
Jul 6, 2021
Tournament of Villains, Peter and the Wolf, "Pride Rock, Pride Rock"
Tune in for the first round of our new Tournament of Villains, including tongue-in-cheek analysis from our "expert" panel, then cast your votes for the baddest of the bad. (The first round matchup of #3 seed Captain Hook vs. the Queen of Hearts looks like a barn burner.) We'll also take a look at Peter and the Wolf, learn about Gonzo's win on America's Got Talent, and rev up Rapunzel's Jukebox as Andrew Mitchell puts a Sinatra twist on "Pride Rock, Pride Rock."
Jun 15, 2021
Lady and the Tramp, Mary Had a Little Lamb, Fairy Tale eBay
We'll slurp up the spaghetti with Lady and the Tramp, investigate Mary Had a Little Lamb with Henry Ford (seriously), and search the eBaby listings where Donald Duck is selling a collection of pants (apparently unused). We'll also try another movie before-and-after with 'A Few Good Men in Tights,' and check in on Humpty Dumpty's new partnership with Aflac.
May 25, 2021
The Wizard of Oz, Green Eggs and Ham, Sheriffs, and Runaround You
We'll fight off the summer construction on the Yellow Brick Road to go see the Wizard, check out the world of fairy tale Sheriffs, and check the latest "news" including Dumbo signing to fly in circles at Busch Gardens as a free agent. Andrew Mitchell is back with another Rapunzel's Jukebox song, as Dion meet the Tortoise and the Hare in "Runaround You."
May 4, 2021
Special Episode! Sponsor Smorgasbord
We're back with another special edition, and it's all commercials! But don't worry, these are the good kind of commercials — all of the commercials we've done for our made-up fairy tale sponsors, plus the stories behind them. They're all here, from the Harry Potty series of toilet training books to your chance to get matched with Wee Willie Winkie on the "Heaps of Frogs" fairy tale dating site, and from the personal injury lawyer to the fairy tale stars (he got Humpty Dumpty $500K) to Stone Cold Snow White's appearance at Wrestlemania.
Apr 13, 2021
Mary Poppins, The Mr. Men, Frere Jacques Wins Gold In Competitive Sleeping
Load up your umbrellas and fly off to England, as we check out Mr. Banks' online review of Mary Poppins' nannying skills (spoiler: he's not impressed). We'll meet everyone from Mr. Noisy to Little Miss Happy, find out about Sheriff Woody's tough re-election campaign against Barney Fife, and see if we can make "I'm Henry the Eighth, I Am" even sillier with a new parody song on Rapunzel's Jukebox.
Mar 23, 2021
Special Episode! Rapunzel's Jukebox
It's a special edition of Not Your Mother's Goose, highlighting all the hilarious parody songs from the show, plus an interview with show singer Andrew Mitchell (where we learn that he is actually the son of "King Kazoo"). We've also got a brand new song to complete our Beach Boys tandem, as we've turned Little Deuce Coupe into a tune about Little Bo Peep and her fellow fairy tale shepherds.
Mar 9, 2021
101 Dalmatians, Old McDonald, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina
We'll answer all your questions about 101 Dalmatians, including whether Cruella's clueless henchmen might have been related to the Wet Bandits from Home Alone. Then we'll try to figure out whether it's Old McDonald or Old MacDonald, take a closer look at Tom Thumb and Thumbelina, and head to Wrestlemania where Stone Cold Snow White drops the Candy Apple Catnap on Ronda Rowsey and The Rock battles Gaston. Plus Rapunzel's Jukebox tackles the Beach Boys, as Cinderella has Fun Fun Fun 'til its midnight and it all goes away.
Feb 2, 2021
Cinderella, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, The Little Red Hen
We start with the granddaddy of all fairy tales, as we load up the pumpkin for a carriage ride with Cinderella. Then we'll bust into the bears house with Goldilocks, bake with the Little Red Hen, and listen a group of "real" people frantically try to tell Jack and the Beanstalk with no time to think through how the story goes. We'll also meet the world's premiere fairy tale personal injury lawyer (he got Humpty Dumpty $500k), and fire up Rapunzel's Jukebox for a Rick Roll.
Dec 22, 2020
Episode 10: Alice in Wonderland, Rip Van Winkle, and Disney Parks "News"
We'll get the ins and outs of Alice and Wonderland by checking out Alice's, uh, "Wikipedia" page, learn that the Bremen Town Musicians were actually and animal-based Neighborhood Watch that didn't make it to Bremen (who knew?), and snooze with Rip Van Winkle. Real Disney blogger Herb from "World of Walt" makes a guest appearance with some definitely not real Disney news, and NBC reboots The Golden Girls in the world of fairy tales.
Dec 15, 2020
Episode 9: The Three Little Pigs, The Jungle Book, The Sword in the Stone
The Big Bad Wolf returns to wreak havoc on the Three Little Pigs, Mowgli tours the animal kingdom in the Jungle Book, and we'll find England a new king via the Sword in the Stone. We'll also have some stone soup, check out Paul Bunyan's new Big and Tall Shop, and get the Little Red Hen some "Help" with Andrew Mitchell on Rapunzel's Jukebox.
Dec 8, 2020
Episode 8 - Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin, The Princess and the Pea
It's tower time - we'll climb the stairs with Rapunzel and try to spin up some gold with the miller's daughter in Rumpelstiltskin. Try to get a good snooze with the Princess and the Pea, but if you can't sleep, you'll be able to fire up your phone and scroll through Humpty Dumpty's Facebook News Feed.
Nov 17, 2020
Episode 7: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood
It's a nap-friendly episode, with both Snow White and Sleeping Beauty snoozing along. Then we'll learn about John Henry, walk to grandma's with Little Red Riding Hood, and take a crash course in how to give-a-dog-a-bone with a Masterclass in Knick Knack. Finally, Andrew Mitchell returns on Rapunzel's Jukebox, with a folksy ode to the bad guys called 'Will Villains Ever Win?"
Nov 17, 2020
Episode 6: Little Mermaid, Fox & the Hound, Aladdin
Join us under the sea to hear the real story about the Little Mermaid, or above ground to revisit the Fox the Hound, or in the sky to connect with the true Aladdin. Plus, hear about Little Red Riding Hood's new movie deal and other news you can't use.
Nov 17, 2020
Episode 5: Beauty & the Beast, a Moon Jumping Cow, Georgie Porgie, Hansel & Gretel
Connect with the couch potato physique of Beast (as in Beauty & the Beast), follow the Hansel and Gretel breadcrumb trail, hear an update on Georgie Porgie's season of the Bachelor, and revisit the seemingly impossible feat of the cow jumping over the moon.
Nov 17, 2020
Episode 4: Elsa & Anna, the Ant & the Grasshopper, Billy Goats, and an Emperor with no Clothes.
Where else can you check in with Elsa & Anna, the Ant and the Grasshopper, three Billy Goats (and a Troll), and an emperor with no pants? Nowhere other than Topher Goggin's fourth episode of Not Your Mother's Goose.
Nov 17, 2020
Episode 3: Peter, Gingerbread and Sleepy Hollow
Take a ride with the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow, whiff the dust in Neverland with Peter Pan, and pay a visit to the Gingerbread Man. Plus, you don't want to miss the news about Elsa's ebay listings.
Nov 17, 2020
Episode 2: Pinocchio, Bambi & the Pied Piper
Parents everywhere can feel good about their parenting skills when they hear the real story of Pinocchio. Plus, we'll visit Bambi in the woods and catch up with the Pied Piper.
Nov 17, 2020
Episode 1: Jack, Robin, Tortoise (and Hare)
This inaugural episode, brought to you by the new Harry Potty potty training guide, includes retold fairy tale classics Robin Hood, The Tortoise and the Hare, Jack & the Beanstalk, plus news you can't use.