Simplistic Reviews Podcasts
DJ Valentine - Justin Polizzi - Matthew Stewart
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Simplistic Reviews Podcasts contains shows from SimplisticReviews.net: Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Movie Commentary, Live Show, Simplistic Takes and Interviews.
Available episodes
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Jan 14, 2021
(Ep. 151): Thunder in Paradise 2 – Movie Commentary with Movie Audio: January 2021
(This version has the audio of the movie. We have another version without as well)
You ready to be racist brother!
Ready when you are Spence!
Ok Bru lets do this!
Thunder!
When the Sun comes up in paradiseThe girls look prettyOoh they look niceI can smell the cocoa-lotion in the airCool breeze blowin everywhereBetter start running'Cause there's a hurricane a-comin'Grab your Piña colada and a Jamaican, this is Thunder in Paradise 2! (Somehow worse than the last one...yeppie)
Jan 14, 2021
(Ep. 151): Thunder in Paradise 2 – Movie Commentary: January 2021
(This version has no audio of the movie. We have another version with movie audio as well)
You ready to be racist brother!
Ready when you are Spence!
Ok Bru lets do this!
Thunder!
When the Sun comes up in paradiseThe girls look prettyOoh they look niceI can smell the cocoa-lotion in the airCool breeze blowin everywhereBetter start running'Cause there's a hurricane a-comin'Grab your Piña colada and a Jamaican, this is Thunder in Paradise 2! (Somehow worse than the last one...yeppie)
Jan 1, 2021
(Ep. 150): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - January 2021
Break your New Year's resolutions early and enter the world of the Simplistic Reviews podcast. This month, the boys celebrate the end of 2020...briefly. They then delve into what dessert they are gonna gorge themselves on to assuage their depression from the prolonged doom of the pandemic. But don't worry...it's all fun and games as they play four of their favorite movie games to entertain you:
1. Take The F%*king Elephant...a game based on guessing the eerily similar films of Liam Neeson.2. Simplistic Titles...a game based on figuring out which films Valentine describes is real or fake.3. Simplistic Death...a game based on guessing a film based only on the description on how the bad guy dies in the end.4. Simplistic Switcheroo...a game in which the gang theorizes which actor could do another actor's career better.
All that and so much more on this Auld Acquaintance Episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Dec 25, 2020
The Simplistic Reviews Year In Review 2020 Special
To close out the year, we thought it would be fun to look back on all the sketches we've done in 2020. Julie is your guide as we go from a John Rambo-esque rant on the Star Wars Cinematic Universe, to the two part Sesame Street Syndicate sketch, to He-Man and the Transformers messing about, to Doctor Doom dentistry, to Scream Shenanigans, to Home Alone fallout, and all the great sketches in between...with a little behind the scenes stuff thrown in. So sit back, relax, and enjoy one last silly show before the year is out.
Dec 15, 2020
(Ep. 149): Gingerdead Man – Movie Commentary: December 2020
We love our horror and holiday movie commentaries each year and this one has been on the list. Now we finally get to cross it off...no killer Santa, no killer Elf's...Killer Gingerbread!
An evil yet adorable Gingerbread man comes to life with the soul of a convicted killer - this real life cookie monster wreaks havoc on the girl who sent the killer to the electric chair. Oh and that Ginger is Gary Busey...yep that Busey.
Happy Holidays everyone!
Dec 1, 2020
(Ep. 148): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - December 2020
Holiday Hijinks come once a year, and with The Simplistic Reviews here, you should have no fear!
After all the good tidings 2020 has given us, its time to head to The First Korean Church of SR as confessional gets sexy in the newest segment; "Simplistic Confessional with Father Polizzi."
Blue Collar Comedy and The Kings of Comedy talk, Matt giving people their signs, DJ creaming over the life's work of Aaron Sorkin, and so much more in this festive edition of the highest rated podcast of recently divorced dads who are planning on creating an OnlyFans Page to pay for their child support; The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Nov 15, 2020
(Ep. 147): Order of the Black Eagle – Movie Commentary: November 2020
A James Bondish spy and his female assistant infiltrate a group of South American Nazis who have kept Hitler alive until they take over the... using the ultimate weapon.
We are back watching another terrible action film of the 80s. Today, we celebrate the great Sir Sean Connery by watching a knockoff Bond film that is worse in every way you could possibly think off. (Don't worry we will watch the other shitfest in this series).
Trivia: I believe this film is the first film to make the star, the least entertaining person in the film. Maybe it was the actor who just seems not to really want be here. His character seems to just get lost in the story, almost how lost we got watching this damn cluster fuck. Oh and yeah he's "partner" is a baboon.
Let's do this!
Nov 1, 2020
(Ep. 146): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - November 2020
Batman, the Joker, Ra's Al Ghul, Walter Vinci from First Time Watchers...seriously, a whole bunch of people show up on this special Election Edition of the Simplistic Reviews podcast. The boys politic about Hollywood news in the return of Can You Dig It. Julie's Diary reveals your favorite announcer's stance on the upcoming election...kinda. And the boys pick the winners to a couple of battles to the death in another round of Simplistic Fisticuffs. So do your constitutional duty and listen to this brand new episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast.
Oct 30, 2020
12HR Spooktacular - 2020
Happy Halloween!
Join us again for 12 hours of 3 very non-productive men sitting around doing nothing but watching 8 films, 6 terrible and 2 good films.
Could it get anymore scary?
Re-live our first annual 12HR Spooktacular! Grab the movies below and watch along with us...if you dare.
Our lineup from the Oct. 17th.
Schedule (EST)
12:00pm - The Funhouse (1981)
1:35pm - Evil Dead (2013)
3:06pm - Break #1
3:11pm - Hellbound (1994)
4:45pm - Monster Dog (1984)
6:10pm - Intermission - Break #2
6:17pm - Soultaker (1990)
7:52pm - Final Destination 5 (2011)
9:14pm - Break #3
9:19pm - Pumpkinhead (1988)
10:45pm - Dracula (1931)
12:00am - End
Oct 15, 2020
(Ep. 145): Death Spa – Movie Commentary: October 2020
Death Spa
R 1989 ‧ Horror/Slasher ‧ 1h 28m
Customers at an exclusive fat farm are haunted by a force which turns exercise equipment into deadly killing machines.
Spooky!
Halloween is right around the corner, so lets watch a movie about exercise equipment killing people! Sounds like one hell of a movie right? We all know COVID-19 came with a lot. Now we need to loss a bit of weight, so come with us as we all signup to loss a few pints of blood. Oh and don't worry about the random murders. Each one banks us a free 3 week gym membership. Grab your LA Looks, that neon shirt and lets hit the gym...or spa...ugh...whatever this is Death Spa!
Oct 5, 2020
Simplistic Takes Ep. 5 | The Boys: Season 2 (E1-E7)
Matt and Justin sit down here on Simplistic Takes and discuss season 2 (up to episode 7) of the best show on right now, The Boys!
Oct 4, 2020
Simplistic Interviews Ep. 012: Debbie Rochon
On this Simplistic Sit-Down, Matt chats with the fantastic Debbie Rochon, a women of so many talents it would be a travesty to mention this all in this summary.
Maybe you should just listen to the show and see what we mean.
For more info on Debbie, please visit Debbie's homepage, right HERE
Oct 1, 2020
(Ep. 144): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - October 2020
On this October episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast, Justin talks about his brush with brush fires near his California home. The boys discuss frightening possibilities in a segment we call Scary Thoughts. Matt compares Justin to Robert Kraft inexplicably, and DJ dresses up in order to see if Matt and Justin can guess what he's supposed to be in a game called What Are You Supposed To Be. All that and more on this spooktacular episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast. Yes...we know spooktacular isn't a word.
Sep 19, 2020
Simplistic Interviews Ep. 011: John Brennan
We're back with another Simplistic Interview. This time we have John Brennan, a man of many talents.
From his kindergarten song writing career, days of working with Troma, and his magnum opus, the opening theme for "The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs" on Shudder, we cover it all.
John was also one of the producers on Troma's latest take from the Bard; #ShakespearesShitstorm, which we also review HERE.
Matt and John also chat about how great Jim Henson truly was, might get a little political, and we let the crowd know that Troma is always looking for the next great script. It could be YOU!!!
Follow John on Twitter HERE
And find out more about #ShakespearesShitstorm HERE
Sep 15, 2020
(Ep. 143): Sleepaway Camp – Movie Commentary: September 2020
Happy Halloween!
It's official! Halloween has begun here at Simplistic Reviews. With everything that has been terrible this year, what more could you ask for then a good old slasher. Ready for some camping? How about a gender reveal party? We have it all here today with...
Sleepaway Camp
R 1983 ‧ Horror/Slasher ‧ 1h 28m
Angela Baker, a shy, traumatized young girl, is sent to summer camp with her cousin. Shortly after her arrival, anyone with sinister or less than honorable intentions gets their comeuppance.
For more reviews and podcasts, visit: Simplistic.Reviews
Sep 1, 2020
(Ep. 142): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - September 2020
On the September episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast, the boys say the first things that come to their minds when hearing entertainment news stories in Word Association. Matt and Justin set the record straight about their feelings on Rick And Morty in another edition of Simply Say Anything. DJ rants about Star Wars...again, Julie laments about her favorite streaming services, and the boys discuss Genghis Khan...in a way. All that and more on the greatest podcast on Earth. The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Aug 29, 2020
Simplistic Takes: Ep. 4 | Fantasia Fest 2020
Matt and Justin sit down to discuss some of the films they have seen at this years Fantasia Film Festival.
#Fantasia #Movies #FilmFestival #Podcast
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Aug 23, 2020
'''Live' from Fantasia Fest 2020' Simplistic Interviews Ep. 010: Bao Tran, Director of 'The Paper Tigers'
As we end the first weekend of Fantasia Film Festival 2020, Matt chats with the director of the kung-fu comedy, "The Paper Tigers,'" Bao Tran.
The Washington native, who's parents are from Vietnam, talks about the Hollywood and Vietnamese film making process, and the eight year journey of bringing "The Paper Tigers' to life.
Bao and Matt also discuss 80s and 90s nostalgia, the influence of Bruce Lee, and rap cyphers and dojo busting!
"The Paper Tigers" will premier at Fantasia Fest 2020 on August 30th. Get more info right HERE on that. And peep the Q&A right after the flick as well.
And check out more info on "The Paper Tigers" right HERE
For even more social media goodness, check out the links below: Twitter: @_thepapertigers Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePaperTigersMovie/ Instagram: @_thepapertigers URL: thepapertigersmovie.com Email: info@thepapertigersmovie.com
Aug 22, 2020
'''Live' from Fantasia Fest 2020' Simplistic Interviews Ep. 009: Ryan Spindell, Director of 'The Mortuary Collection'
The 2020 Fantasia Film Festival is underway, and we have another great interview for you.
This time we are joined by Ryan Spindell, the director of the horror anthology, 'The Mortuary Collection.'
Matt and Ryan chat about their collective love of 'Creepshow,' how it took eight years to finally get his first feature film completed, the world building of Raven's End, and how cool Clancy Brown actually is.
Click HERE for our review of 'The Mortuary Collection'
You can holler at Ryan over on his social media links as well.
Twitter
Instagram
And check out TrapDoor Pictures
Aug 17, 2020
''Live' from Fantasia Fest 2020' Simplistic Interviews Ep. 008: Ryan Kruger, Director of 'Fried Barry'
For our coverage of the 2020 Fantasia Fest Festival, we are kicking things off interview-style with Ryan Kruger, the director of the gonzo alien road trip flick, 'Fried Barry.'
Ryan and Matt chat about the making of 'Fried Barry,' how he kept his star, Gary Green, on his toes throughout production, how 80s films of his youth shaped the making of the film, and what it took to make his feature film debut a reality.
Check out the trailer for 'Fried Barry' HERE
And make sure to head over to Fantasia Film Festival for the COMPLETE SCHEDULE and when you can stream 'Fried Barry.'
Fantasia Film Fest 2020 runs from August 20th to September 2nd
Find out more about Ryan Kruger's work and where you can get in touch with him below: Website: www.ryankruger.tv Facebook: www.facebook.com/RyanKrugerOfficial Twitter: @ryankrugerthing Instagram: aryankrugerthing IMDB: http://www.imdb.me/ryankruger
Aug 15, 2020
Wheel Of Doom: Ep. 2 - Movie Commentary
After two episodes the wheel has finally broken us. I believe we need to rethink things and destroy this curse from hell. Unless you girls and guys like us getting severely mentally punished…wait do you? Do you like us getting punished? How about physically punished? Hummm, maybe this is a good time to speak to you about our OnlyFans page. If that doesn't sound good, listen to this; every Monday we take a rusty linked chain and recor- Well, I don't want to spoil it. So check it out for yourself!
Aug 1, 2020
(Ep. 141): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - August 2020
Time once again to go into your room, leap under the covers, pop in your headphones and listen in secret to the most outrageous entertainment industry film podcast this side of the Rio Grande. Speaking of which, on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast, the boys let loose on American icon, John Wayne. Matt and Justin take turns trying to read each other's minds in another edition of Simplistic Submarine. DJ introduces a new game centered around the demise of movie villains in Simplistic Death. Also, Doctor Doom reveals what he does for a day job. That, another entry into Julie's Diary, a Sean Bean death retrospective, special appearance from Walter Vinci from First Time Watchers podcast and Jeanette Ward from the Mundane Adventures Of A Fangirl, and an 80s movie mullet-off...all on this brand new episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast.
Jul 19, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 010 – Ryan McKay from Living Waters Brewing
In the Season One finale of 'Beyond the Pale Ale' we come full circle and back to Nashville where Matt chats with Ryan McKay from Living Waters Brewing.
Coming up on their One Year Anniversary Matt and Ryan chat about how plans changes, almost on a minute to minute basis, in 2020, and the state of beer, locally.
Living Waters is also a part of the 'Black is Beautiful' beer project, which now has over 1,000 breweries involved.
Honestly, it has been an honor to be able to work with some many great people on this project. While the subject matter isn't the happiest, hopefully 'Beyond the Pale Ale' has been able to translate how hard people are working in these unprecedented times and how they are adapting and evolving in ways that they never saw coming.
Between racial and social injustice, a pandemic that has brought our economy to it's knees and polarized politics, its been rough, but together, and we get through this.
Hopefully, when Season Two goes into production we have moved on…
Jul 15, 2020
Wheel Of Doom: Ep. 1 - Movie Commentary
There is a wheel that has been hidden for centuries.
Hidden from the world for the power it welds.
Its destruction is unlike anything you could imagine.
And now its back.
As a way to pick a movie, for a terrible podcast.
Behold the Wheel Of Doom!
Jul 12, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 009 – JT Stellmach from Holy City Brewing
On this episode of 'Beyond the Pale Ale' we scoot over to South Carolina to chat with JT Stellmach of Holy City Brewing in North Charleston, South Carolina.
Matt shares a couple of Holy City's best while the duo discuss the business, the brewery and collaborations.
Oh, and who are the TOP FIVE, DEAD or ALIVE, in Hip Hop.
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these tough and emotional times.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw your two-cents onto the show, e-mail contact@simplisticreviews.net
Show Notes:
Holy City Brewing
Jul 9, 2020
Simplistic Interviews Ep. 007 Jeffrey A. Brown and Tyler Davidson from 'The Beach House'
On this episode of 'Simplistic Interviews' Matt chats with Jeffrey A. Brown and Tyler Davidson, the director and one of the producers, respectively, from the new horror gem you can find on SHUDDER; 'The Beach House.'
Everything from uncooperative fog, body horror, oysters, and beyond is covered.
Make sure you check out OUR REVIEW of 'The Beach House' as well.
Jul 1, 2020
(Ep. 140): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - July 2020
Happy 4th Of July. The boys at Simplistic Reviews, along with Greg Cafaro from Miscast Entertainment, are ready to light all the fireworks your parents told you were dangerous. First things first, we celebrate Matt's copper anniversary, then we peek in on the life of Chris Hansen, bring back a classic segment called Simply The Best, do a little channel surfing with some TV Roundup, share another entry into Julie's Diary, and then flip the script with another edition of Simplistic Switcheroo. All that and more on this explosive episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast.
Jun 28, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 008 – Nate Grabowski from Monday Night Brewing Co.
On this episode we head down to Georgia, figuratively, and I chat with Nate Grabowski, the Tennessee Market Manager from Monday Night Brewing Co. in Atlanta
Nate and I go back about three years so we wax on our old gigs, where we are now, how it's going, and where we think we're heading. Oh, and we got to hang out in person in the studio sharing a few beers while staying socially distant of course!
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these CRAZY COVID TIMES.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw your two-cents onto the show, e-mail contact@simplisticreviews.net.
Jun 21, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 007 – Joaquin and Josh Peña from Islla Street Brewing Co.
On this episode of ‘Beyond the Pale Ale’ I’m joined by the dynamic duo of Joaquin and Josh Peña from Islla Street Brewing Co. in San Antonio, Texas.
In this Jumbo-Deluxe episode, we dive into the the diversity of the Texas beer scene, how a culinary director and oil field chemist created a brewery that bridges cultures together, and how Covid-19 has changed the landscape of business as we know it.
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these CRAZY COVID TIMES.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw your two-cents onto the show, e-mail contact@simplisticreviews.net
Jun 14, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 006 - Adam Crumley from New Belgium Brewing Co.
On this episode of "Beyond the Pale Ale" I'm joined by one of my best friends in the beer business, Adam Crumley, the New Belgium Tennessee Voodoo Ranger himself!
This is also the first LIVE interview I conduct, but don't worry we were doing respectful of social distancing rules and regulations.
Adam chats about the state of affairs on New Belgium while we enjoy some new products from their Voodoo Ranger line and pop a cork on a special beer while looking forward to the future of business.
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these tough and emotional times.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw your two-cents onto the show, e-mail contact@simplisticreviews.net
Show Notes
New Belgium Brewing
Jun 7, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 005 – Marcus Baskerville from Weathered Souls Brewing Co.
On this week's episode of 'Beyond the Pale Ale' I'm fortunate enough to be joined by Co-Founder and Head Brewer, Marcus Baskerville, from Weathered Souls Brewing Co. in San Antonio, TX.
We chat about their business model during the Covid-19 Pandemic, his journey from Sacramento to San Antonio, diversity in the beer industry, and of course about their 'Black is Beautiful' beer project.
With over 200 breweries across 35 states already involved in 'Black is Beautiful,' be on the lookout for this beer very soon, and make sure you listen, learn, collaborate, and work with local businesses to help spread the word on social injustice and how to fix systematic racism across the world.
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these tough and emotional times.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw yo…
Jun 1, 2020
(Ep. 139): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - June 2020
The return of a very special guest, the return of one of our favorite games, a brand new segment, two new sketches, and an in-depth look at Joey Pants' pants. This episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast couldn't be any more filled to the brim with crazy if were a Gary Busey biography. We are graced with the presence of Jeanette Ward from The Mundane Adventures Of A Fangirl. We also test her film recognition with a little game of Simplistic Titles. Julie gets her own new segment aptly named Julie's Diary. And to top it all off, Jay Cluitt from Life Vs Film makes a cameo in order to channel the spirit of Christopher Nolan right in time for Tenet. Sounds weird? It is! Cool right? All that and more on a special episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast
May 31, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 004 – Dylan Crain from Crosstown Brewing Co.
Things are starting to heat up with this episode of 'Beyond the Pale Ale.'
Matt gets a chance to catch up with Dylan Crain from Memphis' Finest, Crosstown Brewing Co.
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these CRAZY COVID TIMES.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw your two-cents onto the show, e-mail contact@simplisticreviews.net
Show Notes
Crosstown Brewing Co.
All Together Collab
May 24, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 003 – Stephanie Davis from Wicked Weed Brewing
In this episode of "Beyond the Pale Ale" Matt chats with Stephanie Davis from Wicked Weed Brewing in Asheville, North Carolina.
Stephanie takes care of the entire state of Tennessee offering the latest and greatest from one of Asheville's most popular breweries.
Steph and Matt also go over new releases and the Beers That Build program.
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these CRAZY COVID TIMES.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw your two-cents onto the show, e-mail contact@simplisticreviews.net
Show Notes
Giving Back to Asheville
Donating to the Cause
Beers That Build
May 23, 2020
(Ep. 138): Beyond Skyline – Movie Commentary: Netflix Party Edition – May 2020
Beyond Skline
R ‧ 2017 ‧ Sci-fi/Action ‧ 1h 45mDetective Mark Corley storms his way onto an alien spaceship to rescue his estranged son. When the ship crashes in Southeast Asia, he forges an alliance with a band of survivors to take back the planet once and for all.
The quarantine Netflix Party Edition continues with the classic 2017 sci-fi film, Beyond Skyline.
Oh it's not a classic?
I just assumed a movie about a father and aliens or a baby or something...wait I forget...what the hell did we just watch? Seriously, if you pulled a gun out and asked me to name one character, just one, you would be pulling that trigger.
Well, maybe letting you choice these movies is too much power, I'm honestly starting to think about taking my chances by leaving the house than watching another one of those "classic" Netflix films.
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Podcast:
iTunes: https://goo.gl/orhsR4
Spotify: https://goo.gl/pcBg5V
Site:…
May 17, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 002 - Adam Kamerer from Blackstone Brewing Co.
On this episode of Beyond the Pale Ale, I chat with Adam Kamerer from Blackstone Brewing Co. in Nashville, Tennessee.
Being Nashville’s oldest brewery, Blackstone has been the ebbs and flows of a city that has grown at an exponential rate, and only to see what damage the recent pandemic has caused Nashville.
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these CRAZY COVID TIMES.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw your two-cents onto the show, e-mail contact@simplisticreviews.net
Show Notes
Blackstone on Facebook
Blackstone on Instagram
Nashville Brewing Co on Instagram
May 10, 2020
Simplistic Reviews Presents: Beyond the Pale Ale Ep. 001 - Isaiah Kallman from Black Abbey Brewing Co.
In the inaugural episode of Beyond the Pale Ale, Matt sits down with Isaiah Kallman, from Black Abbey Brewing Co in Nashville, TN.
Discussion ranges from the difference between Michi-ganders and Miami-ans, and how Isaiah might actually be connected to royalty and own an actual castle!
Remember to keep supporting your local bars, restaurants, breweries and distilleries in these CRAZY COVID TIMES.
If you want to yell at Matt about his interviewing skills, or lack thereof, e-mail him at matt@simplisticreviews.net or if you want to leave a general comment or maybe even want to throw your two-cents onto the show, e-mail contact@simplisticreviews.net
SHOW NOTES
Black Abbey Brewing Co.
Dad Rock Block
May 5, 2020
(Ep. 137): Shark Night 3D - Movie Commentary: Netflix Party Edition - April 2020
Big thanks to Greg and Will from MISCAST and everyone else for joining!
Listeners picked it, so we watched it...
Shark Night 3D...
Yippy.
Shark Night
PG-13 ‧ 2011 ‧ Horror/Thriller
Newly arrived at her family's lake-island cabin, college student Sara (Sara Paxton) and her friends prepare for a weekend of fun in the sun. But soon after they dive into the lake, football player Malik (Sinqua Walls) stumbles out of the water with a grievous wound. Thinking Malik is the victim of a freak accident, the friends pile into a tiny speedboat and head for the hospital. To their horror, they discover that they are surrounded by hundreds of massive, hungry sharks.
Release date: September 2, 2011 (USA)Director: David R. EllisBudget: 28 million USDBox office: 40.1 million USD
Apr 27, 2020
(Ep. 136): Bloodsport - Movie Commentary: Netflix Party Edition - April 2020
Still have that face mask by your side? Great! Wash those hands again because they're about to get bloody in this week's Netflix Party.
Big thanks to Greg and Will from MISCAST and everyone else for joining!
This time around we watched...
Bloodsport
1988 ‧ Action/Martial Arts
U.S. soldier Frank Dux (Jean-Claude Van Damme) has come to Hong Kong to be accepted into the Kumite, a highly secret and extremely violent martial-arts competition. While trying to gain access into the underground world of clandestine fighters, he also has to avoid military officers who consider him to be AWOL. After enduring a difficult training and beginning a romance with journalist Janice Kent (Leah Ayres), Frank is given the opportunity to fight. But can he survive?
Release date: February 26, 1988 (USA)
Director: Newt Arnold
Box office: 65 million USD
Apr 27, 2020
(Ep. 135): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - April 2020
With a world starved for content, the Simplistic Reviews Podcast is here to show you how low the bar has fallen. With the help of Jay Cluitt from Life Vs Film, Jeanette Ward from The Mundane Adventures of a Fangirl, Nicholas Rehak, Steven C. Phillips from Altered Geek, and Todd Liebenow from Forgotten Films, Simplistic Reviews presents their two-part exposé on Sesame Street. The fellas also discuss which movies are to die for if ever the theaters open back up. And we top it all off with a game in which choices will have to be made on which fictional character is allowed to marry Justin and Matt's daughters. All that and more on this untested and very sick episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Apr 23, 2020
(Ep. 134): Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Movie Commentary: Netflix Party Edition - April 2020
Cowabunga!
Remember when Mom would say, "Stop playing with those damn turtle action figures, get out of the house and go play outside!?"
Boy times have changed...
Since we cannot play outside we decided to get together with our fellow podcasters and listeners, our friends, and watch 1990s classic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles online with the Netflix Party Extension.
So grab that facemask, wash those hands and join us during the quarantine.
Big thanks to Freddy and Greg from MISCAST for joining!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
In New York, mysterious radioactive ooze has mutated four sewer turtles into talking, upright-walking, crime-fighting ninjas. The intrepid heroes -- Michelangelo (Robbie Rist), Donatello (Corey Feldman), Raphael (Josh Pais) and Leonardo (Brian Tochi) -- are trained in the Ninjutsu arts by their rat sensei, Splinter. When a villainous rogue ninja, who is a former pupil of Splinter, arrives and spreads lawlessness throughout the city, it's up to the plucky turt…
Apr 4, 2020
(Ep. 133): Our Man Flint - Movie Commentary - April 2020
While everyone is sitting home doing nothing, we decided to watch a movie that went nowhere except to maximum complete and utter nonsense...enjoy! :)
Our Man Flint 1966 ‧ Action/Comedy ‧ 1h 48m
When a global criminal organization flexes its power over weather and tectonic activity, secret agent Derek Flint (James Coburn) is summoned from retirement to get to the bottom of the matter. While he mulls over whether to take the assignment, he narrowly escapes an assassination attempt, but his spy agency commander, Cramden (Lee J. Cobb), is nearly mortally wounded. Vowing to take the fight to the enemy, Flint treks through Europe hot on the trail of femme fatale spy Gila (Gila Golan).
Release date: January 16, 1966 (USA)
Director: Daniel Mann
Music composed by: Jerry Goldsmith
Screenplay: Hal Fimberg, Ben Starr
Mar 21, 2020
Ep. 132 The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - March 2020
Stuck at home hiding from the Corona Virus? Watch some TV. Can't afford cable because you lost your job? Read a book. Suffering from illiteracy? Play with your kids. Hate your family? Well, there is always the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. This month the boys try to socially distance themselves from Harvey Weinstein, Kid Rock, Judith Light, Buzz Lightyear and even the wonderful world of Disney. They also debut a new segment in which they point out some Hollywood tropes they're sick of. All that and more, without the requirement of a breathing mask, on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast
Feb 25, 2020
(Ep. 131): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - February 2020
As the month of love and black history comes to a close, the Simplistic Reviews podcast does their best to hate on the concept of love and misremember pretty much all of black history. The boys tackle everything from Batman, to Bond songs, to Rick Moranis. They also introduce a new “Where Are They Now?” styled segment we’re calling What Happened. All that, a brief phone call to Michael Fassbender, a cameo from Walter Vinci from the First Time Watchers Podcast, a Terry Funk For President ad campaign and a pretty long and slightly unintentional plug for the app Cameo on this February episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast
Jan 25, 2020
(Ep. 130): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - January 2020
Theft, Trespassing, Kidnapping, Murder, Intrigue, Joel Kinnaman...that's right...Joel Kinnaman. The first Simplistic Reviews Podcast of the new year brings you all that and more, including Simon Appleton from The Movie Moustache. We discuss everything from Bond to Batman to Batman's odd confession in Batman Forever to Harvey Dent. Tune in and listen to all our crimes against the entertainment community.
Dec 22, 2019
(Ep. 129): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - December 2019
While we are in the midst of 8 crazy nights and the Christmas season, why not get yourself put on the naughty list by checking out the holiday episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast. The boys end the year off right by checking what tantalizing entertainment news story is stuffed in their stockings, they recap the year, and then finally decide which movies are actual Christmas movies and which aren’t movies at all in another installment of Simplistic Titles. All that and more on this gift wrapped episode of the Simplistic Reviews podcast
NOTES
FIRSTTIMEWATCHERS
MOVIE MOUSTACHE
LIFE VS FILM
TIM ALLEN: SNITCH
JUICE
Dec 20, 2019
(Ep. 128): Christmas Evil - Movie Commentary: December 2019
From everyone at Simplistic Review, Merry Christmas you filthy animal!
Movie Commentary: Christmas Evil - 1980
Comical festive frights. A toy-maker who revels in the Christmas spirit suffers a mental break when his work is met with hypocrisy and cynicism and goes on a yuletide killing spree.
Nov 28, 2019
(Ep. 127): Mr. No Legs & ThanksKilling - Thanksgiving Double Feature - Movie Commentary: November 2019
Stuffed from all that turkey? Any room for dessert?
Bet you feel like crap right now. Want to feel worse? If so we have two terrible movies for you, a leg or thigh double feature!
Watch what you can stomach or skip this one, because to be honest both are not horrible films...sorry.
Mr. No Legs:1h 30min |1978| Action - A physically challenged mob enforcer uses his martial-arts skills and a specially equipped wheelchair to keep the police and his enemies at bay.
ThanksKilling: 1h 10min | 2008 | Comedy, Horror - A possessed turkey terrorizes five college students during Thanksgiving break.
Oct 29, 2019
(Ep. 126): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - October 2019
On this Halloween Edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, DJ finally gives his thoughts on the recent MCU criticism...Matthew creates a new catchphrase that is as bewildering as it is hilarious...and Justin cries...yup...he's not that dead inside after all. All that and more on a scarily good episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Sep 30, 2019
(Ep. 125): Jungle Assault - Movie Commentary: September 2019
When general Mitchell's daughter joins South American rebels, he asks two of his ex-soldiers, Becker and Kelly, to get her back. They soon discovers that the rebels are in league with Russians.
Rambo is back in the theaters so what better way to celebrate then with a film that has no connection with the series. In fact it's not even nearly close to the worst Rambo film. Because no one asked for it, Jungle Assault! Rambo is back in the theaters so what better way to celebrate then with a film that has no connection with the series. In fact it's not even nearly close to the worst Rambo film. Because no one asked for it, Jungle Assault!
A David A. Prior made film on a budget slightly less then a family going to their local grocery store.
Aug 17, 2019
(Ep. 124): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - August 2019
On this back to school episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. William Davis Moore, from Miscast Entertainment, sits in for the vacationing Matthew Stewart. The boys discuss...well...The Boys...TV series...they also briefly discuss the only Oscar-winning film to have a money shot in it (Can you guess what it is?)...they tackle the TransAtlantic accent and finally reveal the real person behind Warner Brothers. All That and Moore...see what I did there? Because William Davis Moore is on the...nevermind...All that and some stoking of the flames surrounding that old rumor about William Shatner's late wife...yeah we went there...on the August Edition of the Simplistic Review Podcast.
NOTESShatner's WifeThe Boys Airplane SceneThe TransAtlantic AccentPennyworthLobo on Krypton
Lex Luthor Stole 40 Cakes
Aug 12, 2019
(Ep. 123): Stone Cold - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): August 2019
Stone Cold 1991 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 35m
A street-smart cop goes undercover to infiltrate and bring to justice a ruthless motorcycle gang before they can carry out their plans of tyranny and murder.
MGM...oh MGM. Your copyright happy trigger finger was at it again. Nothing like editing Stone Cold a few times only to have you take it down again and again. Fun stuff MGM...fun stuff.
Take a journey with DJ and Justin to a simpler time, were MGM made fun and exciting movies existed. Sure, MGM has lost it ways these days but there was a time they made enjoyable films. No, I'm not salty over the pull downs - but Stone Cold is a fun ride. And lets not pull punches here, no one pulls off the business in the front and party in the back like Brian mother F-ing Bosworth!
So, take a ride with us as we watch 90s Stone Cold and now faith-based action star, The Boz!
Yeah, the guy from Stone Cold does faith based action movies now, hey everyone has to make a living.
Aug 12, 2019
(Ep. 123): Stone Cold - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): August 2019
Stone Cold 1991 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 35m
A street-smart cop goes undercover to infiltrate and bring to justice a ruthless motorcycle gang before they can carry out their plans of tyranny and murder.
MGM...oh MGM. Your copyright happy trigger finger was at it again. Nothing like editing Stone Cold a few times only to have you take it down again and again. Fun stuff MGM...fun stuff.
Take a journey with DJ and Justin to a simpler time, were MGM made fun and exciting movies existed. Sure, MGM has lost it ways these days but there was a time they made enjoyable films. No, I'm not salty over the pull downs - but Stone Cold is a fun ride. And lets not pull punches here, no one pulls off the business in the front and party in the back like Brian mother F-ing Bosworth!
So, take a ride with us as we watch 90s Stone Cold and now faith-based action star, The Boz!
Yeah, the guy from Stone Cold does faith based action movies now, hey everyone has to make a living.
Jul 4, 2019
(Ep. 122): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - July 2019
Happy Fourth Of July! A holiday you that’s best with the fireworks that only the Simplistic Reviews Podcast can give you. On this return episode, the boys discuss what they did on their summer break, which includes hospital visits that lead to an interaction with Michael Keaton, their top 3 episodes of Black Mirror, some of Quincy Jones’ best hits…on fellow celebrities, and how much they would need to get paid to let a female soccer player kick them in the nethers. And to top it off, they play the explosive game Simplistic Submarine. All that and more on this comeback episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast MUSIC Fast Times By IDOLS Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander Variety Time By Tim Garland NOTES Alex Morgan
Quincy Jones Rumor About Brando
Black Mirror
Jun 7, 2019
Simplistic Interview with Heather Buckley, Producer of "The Ranger"
On this Simplistic Interview, we sit down with Heather Buckley, producer of the 2018 horror film "The Ranger."
From days writing at Fangoria Magazine to pitching films at Cannes and South by Southwest, Matt and Heather discuss what it was that got her into horror, how inclusion is shaping the horror genre, and essentially how she is an encyclopedia of genre knowledge. Oh, and of course punk rock!
Follow her all over social media too!
Twitter: @_HeatherBuckley
Instagram: www.instagram.com/_heatherbuckley
And of course check out "The Ranger!"
Twitter: @TheRangerMovie
Instagram: @therangermovie
Streaming on Shudder, Amazon Prime, and anywhere else where you can find great horror flicks.
May 24, 2019
(Ep. 121): Fire Down Below - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio) - May 2019
We started this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal's Hard to Kill! We continue the Seagal Saga with Fire Down Below, you know the EPA action film...no not that one...the other one...yeah there is another EPA action film. Fire Down Below R 1997 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 45m Description When an EPA representative is discovered dead in a small Midwestern town, government agent Jack Taggart (Steven Seagal) goes undercover to check things out. He finds that local coal mogul Orin Hanner Sr. (Kris Kristofferson) is cutting financial corners by disposing of hazardous waste wherever he pleases and that local kids are falling ill because of this recklessness. Taggart then works to stop the shady activity and save the town, but Hanner and his thugs soon grow suspicious of him. Initial release: December 13, 1997 (South Korea) Director: Félix Enríquez Alcalá Budget: 42 million USD Box office: 16.2 million USD Music composed by: Nick Glennie-Smith
May 24, 2019
(Ep. 121): Fire Down Below - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio) - May 2019
We started this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal's Hard to Kill! We continue the Seagal Saga with Fire Down Below, you know the EPA action film...no not that one...the other one...yeah there is another EPA action film. Fire Down Below R 1997 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 45m Description When an EPA representative is discovered dead in a small Midwestern town, government agent Jack Taggart (Steven Seagal) goes undercover to check things out. He finds that local coal mogul Orin Hanner Sr. (Kris Kristofferson) is cutting financial corners by disposing of hazardous waste wherever he pleases and that local kids are falling ill because of this recklessness. Taggart then works to stop the shady activity and save the town, but Hanner and his thugs soon grow suspicious of him. Initial release: December 13, 1997 (South Korea) Director: Félix Enríquez Alcalá Budget: 42 million USD Box office: 16.2 million USD Music composed by: Nick Glennie-Smith
May 20, 2019
Simplistic Interview with Cody Meirick, Director of "Scary Stories"
Matt sits down with Cody Meirick, Director and Producer of the new documentary Scary Stories.
Find out more about Scary Stories:Scarystoriesdoc.combit.ly/WatchScaryStoriesFacebook.com/scarystoriesmovieTwitter.com/scarystoriesdocInstagram.com/scarystoriesdoc
Apr 26, 2019
(Ep. 120): Guns - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio) - April 2019 April 2019
April 26 is here! Sure, the mystery movie commentaries were fun. But you knew what you wanted and we knew what you needed. So today we give it like it has never been given...That is why, for no other reason, April 26 was circled on our calendars. A date we know a lot of you have been counting down towards. A date that will most likely go down in movie history. April 26, 2019. The date Simplistic Reviews finally watched...Guns!
Guns
1990 ‧ Thriller/Drama ‧ 1h 36m
Description
Initial release: November 9, 1990
Director: Andy Sidaris
A South American gunrunner (Erik Estrada) uses an island in Hawaii as his base of operations. A squad of beautiful government airfreighters Donna (Dona Speir) and Nicole (Roberta Vasquez) agents is sent to put him out of business.
Shit yeah! Andy Sidaris! The Sidaris Cinematic Universe continues of the greatest movie series ever! Bombs! Bullets and Babes! This isn't no children's Endgame, this is real shit!
Apr 26, 2019
(Ep. 120): Guns - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio) - April 2019 April 2019
April 26 is here! Sure, the mystery movie commentaries were fun. But you knew what you wanted and we knew what you needed. So today we give it like it has never been given...That is why, for no other reason, April 26 was circled on our calendars. A date we know a lot of you have been counting down towards. A date that will most likely go down in movie history. April 26, 2019. The date Simplistic Reviews finally watched...Guns!
Guns
1990 ‧ Thriller/Drama ‧ 1h 36m
Description
Initial release: November 9, 1990
Director: Andy Sidaris
A South American gunrunner (Erik Estrada) uses an island in Hawaii as his base of operations. A squad of beautiful government airfreighters Donna (Dona Speir) and Nicole (Roberta Vasquez) agents is sent to put him out of business.
Shit yeah! Andy Sidaris! The Sidaris Cinematic Universe continues of the greatest movie series ever! Bombs! Bullets and Babes! This isn't no children's Endgame, this is real shit!
Apr 3, 2019
(Ep. 119): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast - April 2019
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back from Spring break...clean...sober...and ready to go. One of those things are true. The boys discuss everything they missed since they’ve been gone. From James Gunn rehiring, to the etymology of the word “trump”, to that famous last line in Lethal Weapon 2. You remember that one right? We sure didn’t. Doug Funny, Oregon Trail, Jenny & Melissa McCarthy...all points of interest or disinterest on this Spring fling episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Jenny McCarthy Anti-Vax
The word “trump” means...
Oregon Trail
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels Remake
MUSIC
Fast Times Club By IDOL
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Mar 31, 2019
(Ep. 118): Mystery Movie 2 - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio) - April 2019
So last time we tried something new, something mysterious, something crazy!
The people responded and wanted more or we're just untalented hacks...anyway we did it again!
Matt and Justin watch a movie just in-time for another movie that's due out April 5. Wow a movie commentary tie-in? Kinda...But unlike last time, both Matt and Justin have seen this film before.
Sure, it may be just a one off type of film but damn its really mysterious is it not?
So join Matt as he joins DJ in a movie commentary like none other...a mystery movie...eh movie commentary!?
Mar 31, 2019
(Ep. 118): Mystery Movie 2 - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio) - April 2019
So last time we tried something new, something mysterious, something crazy!
The people responded and wanted more or we're just untalented hacks...anyway we did it again!
Matt and Justin watch a movie just in-time for another movie that's due out April 5. Wow a movie commentary tie-in? Kinda...But unlike last time, both Matt and Justin have seen this film before.
Sure, it may be just a one off type of film but damn its really mysterious is it not?
So join Matt as he joins DJ in a movie commentary like none other...a mystery movie...eh movie commentary!?
Mar 1, 2019
(Ep. 117): Mystery Movie - Movie Commentary: March 2019
Today we try something new, something mysterious, something crazy! DJ and Justin watch a movie like they did so many times before. But this time it's different. This time Justin carefully selected from the Simplistic Reviews ever growing library of shitty movies, a film DJ has never seen nor heard of. And that's not all. This time DJ has no idea what he will be watching, he knows nothing, just like you! So join DJ as he is only aware of recording a movie commentary...not what movie...but...a mystery movie!
Feb 9, 2019
(Ep. 116): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: February
February is not only the month of love. It is also the month in which the hooligans from the Simplistic Reviews Podcast return! On this season premiere episode, the boys have intellectual discussions/ profanity-laced tangents about Liam Neeson’s past, America’s rampant use of blackface, Benedict Cumberbatch‘s most creepy role, Jeff Goldblum (AGAIN), and Albert Finney’s best role...Dr. Albert Hirsch in the Bourne Ultimatum...it’s subjective.
All that and more on this heartwarming and romantic February episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Albert Finney The Bourne Ultimatum
Liam Neeson Cosh Stalker
MUSIC
Fast Times Club By IDOL
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Jan 13, 2019
(Ep. 115): Hard To Kill - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): January 2019
The new year is here and so is a new batch of Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentaries!
We start this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal. Which Seagal film? Well, since Steven has a large collection of so bad its good, we figured we get out one of the better Seagal films that also has some of our favorite lines.
Stay warm with the boys from SR on this chilly January Sunday and let's watch some Hard to Kill!
Hard to Kill 1990 ‧ Drama/Thriller ‧ 1h 40m
When police detective Mason Storm (Steven Seagal) uncovers ties among corrupt cops, the mob and charismatic politician Vernon Trent (Bill Sadler), a hit is ordered on his family. During the attack, Storm's wife is killed, and the cop himself is severely injured. After waking up from a years-long coma, Storm, aided by gorgeous nurse Andy Stewart (Kelly LeBrock), slowly gets back on his feet and plots revenge against those who wronged him, particularly the duplicitous Sen. Trent.
Release da…
Jan 13, 2019
(Ep. 115): Hard To Kill - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): January 2019
The new year is here and so is a new batch of Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentaries!
We start this new year off with a film from 90's action star and serial eater, Steven Seagal. Which Seagal film? Well, since Steven has a large collection of so bad its good, we figured we get out one of the better Seagal films that also has some of our favorite lines.
Stay warm with the boys from SR on this chilly January Sunday and let's watch some Hard to Kill!
Hard to Kill 1990 ‧ Drama/Thriller ‧ 1h 40m
When police detective Mason Storm (Steven Seagal) uncovers ties among corrupt cops, the mob and charismatic politician Vernon Trent (Bill Sadler), a hit is ordered on his family. During the attack, Storm's wife is killed, and the cop himself is severely injured. After waking up from a years-long coma, Storm, aided by gorgeous nurse Andy Stewart (Kelly LeBrock), slowly gets back on his feet and plots revenge against those who wronged him, particularly the duplicitous Sen. Trent. Release dat…
Dec 21, 2018
(Ep. 114): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: December 2018
Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good podcast! The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back to jingle some bells and deck some halls with Simon Appleton from Moustache Movie News. We ask the expert in all things U.K. everything from Brexit, the metric system, and Meghan Markel...we also take a break to read some Christmas cards sent to Santa, much to the chagrin of our Jewish cohost Matthew Stewart. We also bring back one of our favorite games, Simplistic Titles, to see if Simon knows what movies are real and which ones come from the dark recesses of DJ Valentine's twisted mind. All that reindeer crap and more on a fa-la-la-la-loaded episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast
MUSIC
Deck The Halls By Album House
Hark The Herald Angels Sing By Album House
Jingle Bells By Album House
O Little Town Of Bethlehem By Album House
We Wish You An Indie Christmas By Aaron Tosti
Happy Christmas Deck The Halls By Be Still The Earth
8-Bit Blues By Fairlight
Move By OBOY
NOTES
Kiss Kiss Bang B…
Dec 17, 2018
Simplistic Reviews: Aquaman
Today we try something new. DJ and Justin sit down and talk about what they liked, didn't like and what should of been.
This is Simplistic Reviews on Aquaman. Aquaman PG-13 2018 ‧ Fantasy/Science Fiction ‧ 2h 22m Once home to the most advanced civilization on Earth, the city of Atlantis is now an underwater kingdom ruled by the power-hungry King Orm. With a vast army at his disposal, Orm plans to conquer the remaining oceanic people -- and then the surface world. Standing in his way is Aquaman, Orm's half-human, half-Atlantean brother and true heir to the throne. With help from royal counselor Vulko, Aquaman must retrieve the legendary Trident of Atlan and embrace his destiny as protector of the deep. Release date: December 21, 2018 (USA) Director: James Wan
Nov 30, 2018
(Ep. 113): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November 2018
Don't count your turkeys before they're clucked...that's a saying, right? The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for November comes right under the wire just in time to tell you what happened to Harry Potter, explore the career and voice of Kathleen Turner, discuss the filmography of Steven Seagal and create a brand new Pokemon. The boys test the limits of reality with the return of Believable Or Bullshit. Justin reveals which classic '70s show he'll be watching next on TV Roundup. And we flip Hollywood on its head with another edition of Simplistic Switcheroo. All that and more on the award-winning Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Hard To Kill
HPV Michael Douglas
Detective Pikachu
Michael J. Fox on Curb
MUSIC
Fast Times By Idols
Sun Traces By Isaac Joel
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Runaway Ghost By Travis Loafman
Nov 12, 2018
(Ep. 112): If Looks Could Kill - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): Novemeber 2018
If Looks Could Kill PG-13 1991 ‧ Action/Action/Adventure ‧ 1h 28m Before he can graduate, cocky high school student Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) travels to France on a school trip to earn a missing French credit. But when a British intelligence agent mistakes Michael for a spy of the same name, they rush him to headquarters and assign him to capture the evil Augustus Steranko (Roger Rees), using a plethora of espionage gadgetry. Michael has the time of his life -- until he crosses paths with two assassins (Tom Rack, Carole Davis) who want him dead. Initial release: March 15, 1991 Director: William Dear Why? Because why not! Open that bottle of wine you keep thinking about and spend a lovely evening with DJ, Matt, Justin and the God that is Richard Grieco. Feast your eyes upon the Grieco and say goodbye to your family, because looks can kill!
Nov 12, 2018
(Ep. 112): If Looks Could Kill - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): Novemeber 2018
If Looks Could Kill PG-13 1991 ‧ Action/Action/Adventure ‧ 1h 28m Before he can graduate, cocky high school student Michael Corben (Richard Grieco) travels to France on a school trip to earn a missing French credit. But when a British intelligence agent mistakes Michael for a spy of the same name, they rush him to headquarters and assign him to capture the evil Augustus Steranko (Roger Rees), using a plethora of espionage gadgetry. Michael has the time of his life -- until he crosses paths with two assassins (Tom Rack, Carole Davis) who want him dead. Initial release: March 15, 1991 Director: William Dear Why? Because why not! Open that bottle of wine you keep thinking about and spend a lovely evening with DJ, Matt, Justin and the God that is Richard Grieco. Feast your eyes upon the Grieco and say goodbye to your family, because looks can kill!
Oct 29, 2018
(Ep. 111): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October 2018
What could be more spooky then a Simplistic Reviews Spooktastic Podcast? Okay so you could just turn on the news which is scary enough.
Today, we bring the Halloween to your ears on the 111th episode of... wait this episode is number 111? So I times 111 by 6... 666!!!, Oh my god Gregory Sestero its the mark of the beast! Damn that's perfect timing or we held off a movie commentary from being released to make a Halloween stupid joke. Nay...not us we aren't that cheesy.
So let's all indulge into some candy, laugh, drink and talk about news and some spooky thoughts we had recently as well make fun of those shitty Hollywood scumbags on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Boooo!
Oct 1, 2018
S1:E3 - Simplistic Reviews Show Live!
The guys from Simplistic Reviews sit around and talk news. Check out the Simplistic Reviews Podcast for good old family entertainment and Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary to have them over at your house.
Podcast: iTunes: https://goo.gl/orhsR4Spotify: https://goo.gl/pcBg5VSite: http://SimplisticReviews.netTwitter: https://twitter.com/simpletweetersFacebook: http://facebook.com/SimplisticReviews Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simplygramming
Sep 10, 2018
(Ep. 110): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: September 2018
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back from our August break and raring to go. And since we thought the show could use more of a fangirl touch, we got the biggest and best fangirl of them all, Jeanette Ward from The Mundane Adventures Of A Fangirl. And as gracious hosts, we immediately put Ms. Ward in the hot seat during another edition of Questions From The Crowd. The gang also go against their better nature while playing Say Anything. Shane Black, Cardi B Nicki Minaj Beef, and midichlorians...all things discussed on the latest episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Ray Liotta Commercial
Nicki Minaj & Cardi B Fight
Glass Noodles
Blockbuster Video
MUSIC
60's Blues Rock Kinda Thing By Aaron Tosti
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Fast Times Club By Idols
Sep 4, 2018
(Ep. 109): Killing American Style - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): September 2018
(with Movie Audio)
Well it's not Samurai Cop...
Welcome back to the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary! Today we pop in another Amir Shervan film, Killing American Style. It's the 80's and of course Amir will recycle from his masterpiece Samurai Cop; location, music and beefy men with long beautiful hair. The terrible acting mix with cheesy fight scene is the best part along with its nonexistent script. Killing American Style is no Samurai Cop. It's not as funny nor crazy but still a entertaining film except for one thing - rape.
The amount of creepiness is beyond anything we have seen before. There really isn't a need for rape in a movie, especially when the story line doesn't call for it. A simple walk into the room with the door closing gets it point across, what we get here is out of control and unnecessary. Killing American Style is a fun Sunday film to drink and laugh at, just look at that title. But when your looking for another Samurai Cop don't look at Killing American Sty…
Sep 4, 2018
(Ep. 109): Killing American Style - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): September 2018
(without Movie Audio)
Well it's not Samurai Cop...
Welcome back to the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary! Today we pop in another Amir Shervan film, Killing American Style. It's the 80's and of course Amir will recycle from his masterpiece Samurai Cop; location, music and beefy men with long beautiful hair. The terrible acting mix with cheesy fight scene is the best part along with its nonexistent script. Killing American Style is no Samurai Cop. It's not as funny nor crazy but still a entertaining film except for one thing - rape.
The amount of creepiness is beyond anything we have seen before. There really isn't a need for rape in a movie, especially when the story line doesn't call for it. A simple walk into the room with the door closing gets it point across, what we get here is out of control and unnecessary. Killing American Style is a fun Sunday film to drink and laugh at, just look at that title. But when your looking for another Samurai Cop don't look at Killing American…
Aug 7, 2018
S1:E2 - Simplistic Reviews Show Live!
S1:E2 - Simplistic Reviews Show Live!
Gather the children around, episode 2 has arrived.
Simplistic Reviews Show Live! is a talk show. If you thought the gang couldn't possibly talk more than their Simplistic Reviews Podcast or Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary, then you thought wrong. Today we talk about some Fallout, debrief our last movie commentary Uncle Sam as well reveal the next movie commentary and look at some news.
----------------------------------------------------------------------Podcasts: http://podcasts.simplisticreviews.netSite: http://SimplisticReviews.netTwitter: https://twitter.com/simpletweetersFacebook: http://facebook.com/SimplisticReviews Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simplygramming--------------------------------------------------------------------
Jul 30, 2018
(Ep. 108): Uncle Sam - Movie Commentary: July 2018
Uncle Sam R 1996 ‧ Slasher/Horror ‧ 1h 30m
A Gulf War veteran rises from the dead to wreak vengeance upon unpatriotic residents of his hometown. Initial release: 1996 Director: William Lustig Release date: 1996 (Greece) Budget: 2 million USD Screenplay: Larry Cohen Because you asked for it, here it is... Uncle Sam! The classic blockbuster video rental slasher is a great way to celebrate America's birthday! Nothing like some patriotic killing to make us American hard. Okay children grab that flag and those sparklers, bite into your U.S. grade hamburgers and pop in Uncle Sam...This is Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary!
Jul 23, 2018
S1:E1 - Simplistic Reviews Show Live!
Welcome to our new live show - Simplistic Reviews Show Live!
Ep.1 is here!
Today we talk all things Comic Con
Look at some odd news in this crazy world we live in
and play the game, "Are They Dead Yet?"
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Jul 17, 2018
(Ep. 107): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: July 2018
It's July, so that means it's time for a summer blowout episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. We broach many subjects includrtl=0" width="100%">ng Star Wars' big problem, Robocop reboots, Chris Hardwick's troubles, and the Naked Gun. Yes...that assortment of subjects has never been collectively tackled before. Also Justin is put on the hot seat for the new segment Questions From The Crowd. DJ and Justin go crazy with their love for the television show 24. And the boys try and figure out films by their last line in the new game Simplistic Last Lines. All that and more on this new episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Jack & Nina
The End Of Every Episode Of Police Squad
MUSIC
Fast Times Club By Idols
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
4. For Losing It By The Triads
Jul 3, 2018
(Ep. 106): Ring of the Musketeers - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): July 2018
Ring of the Musketeers PG-13 1992 ‧ Action/Adventure ‧ 1h 26m
As descendants of the original Three Musketeers, Peter Porthos (Thomas Gottschalk), John Smith D'Artagnan (David Hasselhoff) and Anne-Marie Athos (Alison Doody) are continuing the chivalrous tradition of protecting those who can't protect themselves, carrying it into the modern age. Rather than fighting lords and counts, these Musketeers have the Mafia to deal with, but they're aided by reformed burglar Burt Aramis (Cheech Marin), the newly knighted fourth Musketeer. Initial release: December 1, 1992 (Germany)Director: John ParagonProduction company: Motion Picture Corporation of AmericaScreenplay: John Paragon, Joel SurnowProducers:Brad Krevoy, Steven Stabler Plug that VHS player back in! It time for some David Hasselhoff! That's right, today we watch the Ring of the Musketeers. A made for TV film that... well... nobody remembers. But when you have a modern day (90's) Musketeers film that has a cast that contains the H…
Jul 3, 2018
(Ep. 106): Ring of the Musketeers - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): July 2018
Ring of the Musketeers PG-13 1992 ‧ Action/Adventure ‧ 1h 26m
As descendants of the original Three Musketeers, Peter Porthos (Thomas Gottschalk), John Smith D'Artagnan (David Hasselhoff) and Anne-Marie Athos (Alison Doody) are continuing the chivalrous tradition of protecting those who can't protect themselves, carrying it into the modern age. Rather than fighting lords and counts, these Musketeers have the Mafia to deal with, but they're aided by reformed burglar Burt Aramis (Cheech Marin), the newly knighted fourth Musketeer. Initial release: December 1, 1992 (Germany)Director: John ParagonProduction company: Motion Picture Corporation of AmericaScreenplay: John Paragon, Joel SurnowProducers:Brad Krevoy, Steven Stabler Plug that VHS player back in! It time for some David Hasselhoff! That's right, today we watch the Ring of the Musketeers. A made for TV film that... well... nobody remembers. But when you have a modern day (90's) Musketeers film that has a cast that contains the H…
Jun 11, 2018
(Ep. 105): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: June 2018
School might be out for summer, but not the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. We are back with special guest Dan "The Comic Book Concierge" Clark from The GeekCast Radio Network and CinemaGeeks Podcast, a couple of call-in friends of ours stop by, and we discuss everything from IHOP changing to IHOB, Hailee Steinfeld having Shape Of Water sex with an Autobot, and of course, the real problem with Hitler...you're gonna have to listen to find out what the hell that means on a brand new episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
IHOB
David Tyree
Get A Life
MUSIC
Neon Love By Jeff Dale, Gavin Harrison, and Tim Reilly
Five Dollar Bill By Jason Pedder & Ben Ziapour
Midnight Ride By Richard Kimmings & Jason Pedder
Variety Time By Tim Garland
Jun 2, 2018
(Ep. 104): Justice League - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): June 2018
Justice League
PG-13 2017 ‧ Fantasy/Science fiction film ‧ 2 hours
Fuelled by his restored faith in humanity, and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly-awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes in Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash, it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.
Initial release: November 15, 2017 (Sweden)
Director: Zack Snyder
Initial DVD release: March 13, 2018 (USA)
Box office: 657.9 million USD
Well... like DJ mentioned, we kept going with these damn DCU movie commentaries. We didn't really want to watch JL but we had to get it over with.
But hey it is still better then Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice, that's something right? Don't worry we will get back to the crappy but fun films that include a goo…
Jun 1, 2018
(Ep. 104): Justice League - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): June 2018
Justice League
PG-13 2017 ‧ Fantasy/Science fiction film ‧ 2 hours
Fuelled by his restored faith in humanity, and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly-awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes in Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash, it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.
Initial release: November 15, 2017 (Sweden)
Director: Zack Snyder
Initial DVD release: March 13, 2018 (USA)
Box office: 657.9 million USD
Well... like DJ mentioned, we kept going with these damn DCU movie commentaries. We didn't really want to watch JL but we had to get it over with.
But hey it is still better then Batman V Superman Dawn of Justice, that's something right? Don't worry we will get back to the crappy but fun films that include a goo…
May 9, 2018
(Ep. 103): House 2 - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): May 2018
House II: The Second Story PG-13 1987 ‧ Adventure/Horror ‧ 1h 28m A man (Arye Gross) and his friend (Jonathan Stark) exhume an ancestor (Royal Dano) in the house where his parents were killed. Initial release: August 28, 1987 Director: Ethan Wiley Budget: 3 million USD Producer: Sean S. Cunningham Production company: New World Pictures Well you can't say we don't love you. Today Matt and Justin watch a movie from the Lister requested submissions. Sometimes we find fun and enjoyable films, that ether we never watched or never heard of. But that isn't always the case. Ep. 103 we cross off another one, House 2: The Second Story. A film not watched by the two in a collective 30 plus years. What we found out is its not as good as we once remembered. House 2 is under the horror genre which is a lie. Eventhough it is a sequel to the 1986 film House, House 2 does not involve the storyline and character from the first film, including the horror feel. House 2 is supernatural fantasy "comedy…
May 9, 2018
(Ep. 103): House 2 - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): May 2018
House II: The Second Story PG-13 1987 ‧ Adventure/Horror ‧ 1h 28m A man (Arye Gross) and his friend (Jonathan Stark) exhume an ancestor (Royal Dano) in the house where his parents were killed. Initial release: August 28, 1987 Director: Ethan Wiley Budget: 3 million USD Producer: Sean S. Cunningham Production company: New World Pictures Well you can't say we don't love you. Today Matt and Justin watch a movie from the Lister requested submissions. Sometimes we find fun and enjoyable films, that ether we never watched or never heard of. But that isn't always the case. Ep. 103 we cross off another one, House 2: The Second Story. A film not watched by the two in a collective 30 plus years. What we found out is its not as good as we once remembered. House 2 is under the horror genre which is a lie. Eventhough it is a sequel to the 1986 film House, House 2 does not involve the storyline and character from the first film, including the horror feel. House 2 is supernatural fantasy "comedy…
Apr 6, 2018
(Ep. 102): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: April 2018
This isn't a joke...the boys are back on the airwaves with another edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast...or are they? You be the judge of whether you think they're back or not. I might be telling you here that they are back, but are they truly "back." And if their back, where are they back from? The Future, School, Training, To Back, In Black, Rubs, In The Habit, For The First Time, again, it's up to you to decide...
This month, the shenanigans range to these nincompoops yelling about whether Spielberg or Scorsese did it better, and by IT they mean holding the camera and making millionaires do things on camera, to the merits of Justin actually discovering he's North African and how we can us that to our advantage.
There is also the return of Simplistic Switcharoo where the fellas tackle the big questions of whether Nicolas Cage could be replaced by John Malkovich in Face/Off and after a long a sordid history, Matt might finally come to terms with the concept of Anne Hathaway.…
Mar 23, 2018
(Ep. 101): Undefeatable - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): Match 2018
Undefeatable R 1994 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 35m 4.1/10 · IMDb
The boys of Simplistic Reviews are back! Let's be honest you never believed Ep. 100 was our last... did you? No we can't stop with all these crappy movies out there. Plus the current world we live in needs some terrible grotesque jokes. So sit back, turn off the lights and enjoy some undefeatable puns...no...they suck...its pretty sad.Kristi Jones (Cynthia Rothrock) who, along with her gang, take part in Mafia-run street fights to earn money for her sister's college education. Kristi's sister hopes to become a doctor and pay for Kristi's education.Meanwhile, an underground fighter by the name of "Stingray" (Don Niam) is left by his scared wife, Anna, after raping her, and vows to find her. Stingray has suffered from abandonment issues since early childhood and this new trauma triggers a psychotic break from reality. He begins to kidnap women who resemble his ex-wife, and subsequently tortures them and gouges their eyes…
Mar 23, 2018
(Ep. 101): Undefeatable - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): Match 2018
Undefeatable R 1994 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 35m 4.1/10 · IMDb
The boys of Simplistic Reviews are back! Let's be honest you never believed Ep. 100 was our last... did you? No we can't stop with all these crappy movies out there. Plus the current world we live in needs some terrible grotesque jokes. So sit back, turn off the lights and enjoy some undefeatable puns...no...they suck...its pretty sad.Kristi Jones (Cynthia Rothrock) who, along with her gang, take part in Mafia-run street fights to earn money for her sister's college education. Kristi's sister hopes to become a doctor and pay for Kristi's education.Meanwhile, an underground fighter by the name of "Stingray" (Don Niam) is left by his scared wife, Anna, after raping her, and vows to find her. Stingray has suffered from abandonment issues since early childhood and this new trauma triggers a psychotic break from reality. He begins to kidnap women who resemble his ex-wife, and subsequently tortures them and gouges their eyes…
Feb 17, 2018
(Ep. 100): The One Hundredth Simplistic Reviews Podcast: February 2018
It’s here!
No, not your tax return… No, not another government shutdown… No, not an actual picture of Venom… It’s the 100th episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast! We got a guest list so prestigious and respected, it should run for president…please…someone…anyone…run for president. So if you’re going on a short drive on a long road or a long walk off a short pier, stick this in your ear holes and enjoy the bad comedy styling of Matthew Stewart, DJ Valentine, and Justin Polizzi for the 100th time…and then…for the love of God…run for president.
MUSIC
Triumph March By Verdi
Neon Love By Jeff Dale, Gavin Harrison & Tim Reilly
Dark City Beats By John 00 Fleming
Utopia In Peril By Chillout
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips
Feb 6, 2018
(Ep. 99): Killer Workout - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): February 2018
Killer Workout 1987 ‧ 1h 25m
Killer Workout, also known under the original title Aerobicide, is a 1986 American slasher film written and directed by David A. Prior. It stars Marcia Karr, David James Campbell, Fritz Matthews, Ted Prior, and Teresa Van der Woude. Wikipedia
Director: David A. Prior
Screenplay: David A. Prior
Music composed by: Todd Hayen
Producers: David Winters, Marc Winters, Peter Yuval
Its here! You or someone requested it (Request a Movie)
Killer Workout
Did you plan to lose weight this year?
Well do we have an amazing offer you wouldn’t believe!
For one low prices of watch or listening to this Movie Commentary, you will lose weight in no time. Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary comes doctor recommended by the top in the business. Loss weight just by sitting! No more getting up and moving those arms. No more watching what you eat. With Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary anyone can lose weight fast just by sitting on your ass.
Just listen to this inter…
Feb 6, 2018
(Ep. 99): Killer Workout - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): February 2018
Killer Workout 1987 ‧ 1h 25m
Killer Workout, also known under the original title Aerobicide, is a 1986 American slasher film written and directed by David A. Prior. It stars Marcia Karr, David James Campbell, Fritz Matthews, Ted Prior, and Teresa Van der Woude. Wikipedia
Director: David A. Prior
Screenplay: David A. Prior
Music composed by: Todd Hayen
Producers: David Winters, Marc Winters, Peter Yuval
Its here! You or someone requested it (Request a Movie)
Killer Workout
Did you plan to lose weight this year?
Well do we have an amazing offer you wouldn’t believe!
For one low prices of watch or listening to this Movie Commentary, you will lose weight in no time. Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary comes doctor recommended by the top in the business. Loss weight just by sitting! No more getting up and moving those arms. No more watching what you eat. With Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary anyone can lose weight fast just by sitting on your ass.
Just listen to this inter…
Jan 14, 2018
(Ep. 98): SR Podcast - January 2018
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
The boys at Simplistic Reviews are back for a brand new year of hijinks, hilarity, intrigue, and murder...well maybe not that last one. On the January edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the gang not only tries to unravel the mystery of January Jones' secret baby daddy, they also discuss Star Wars, Star Trek, The Crown, The Wire, and the 1991 Macaulay Culkin animated series Wish Kid...yeah...we're still a pretty weird show. The boys also reveal some secrets they're not too proud of in the segment Simply Ashamed. All that, an office search, a porno movie experience and more on a brand new edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast
NOTES
X-Factor
Wish Kid
January Jones Kid Mystery
The Wire's Best Scene
Billy Joel Accident
MUSIC
Sexy By Ben Sound
Ying And Yang By John 00 Fleming
The Croft By Joakim Karud
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, and Pinterest
Jan 13, 2018
(Ep. 97): Fit To Kill - Movie Commentary (Movie Audio): January 2018
Fit to Kill
R
1993 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 34m
L.E.T.H.A.L. Agents Donna and Nicole, accompany and protect a wealthy Asian businessman and his rare diamond against a sinister international jewel thief.Release: 1993 Director: Andy SidarisScreenplay: Andy SidarisThere isn't anything to say about this film except it is amazing! Please...Stop whatever your doing and watch this film now!Honestly this is one of the best we have ever watched on the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. It's been awhile and we are glad to come back to the films by Andy Sidaris. What more could you ask for...
Girls!
Guns!
and
G-Strings!
I mean clearly it has everything. And to top it off the movie has one hell of a Bond undertone. Just wait till that we get there. We once again tip our hat to you Mr. Sidaris... Thank you!
P.S. Be on the lookout for a young Kenny Powers
Jan 13, 2018
(Ep. 97): Fit To Kill - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): January 2018
Fit to Kill
R
1993 ‧ Thriller/Action ‧ 1h 34m
L.E.T.H.A.L. Agents Donna and Nicole, accompany and protect a wealthy Asian businessman and his rare diamond against a sinister international jewel thief.Release: 1993 Director: Andy SidarisScreenplay: Andy SidarisThere isn't anything to say about this film except it is amazing! Please...Stop whatever your doing and watch this film now!Honestly this is one of the best we have ever watched on the Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. It's been awhile and we are glad to come back to the films by Andy Sidaris. What more could you ask for...
Girls!
Guns!
and
G-Strings!
I mean clearly it has everything. And to top it off the movie has one hell of a Bond undertone. Just wait till that we get there. We once again tip our hat to you Mr. Sidaris... Thank you!
P.S. Be on the lookout for a young Kenny Powers
Dec 22, 2017
(Ep. 96): Jack Frost 2 - Movie Commentary (without Movie Audio): December 2017
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman R 2000 ‧ Slasher/Fantasy ‧ 1h 31m _____________________________________________________________________________
Sam (Christopher Allport) is traumatized by his experience the previous Christmas, battling Jack Frost (Matt Falletta), a murderous snowman possessed by a serial killer. His wife, Anne (Eileen Seeley), thinks a trip to the tropics will get his mind off the snow, so they pack their bags and head to a resort on an island in the Pacific. Meanwhile, the FBI accidentally resurrects Jack's remains during an experiment. Jack heads to the island, covers it in snow and embarks on another rampage.
Initial release: November 21, 2000 Director: Michael Cooney Film series: Jack Frost Film Series Music composed by: Chris Anderson Screenplay: Michael Cooney Well to finish off our Holiday Movie Commentaries we decided to dive into Jack Frost 2. There is much to say but watch the first Jack Frost and stop. Jack Frost 2 is not a good bad…
Dec 22, 2017
(Ep. 96): Jack Frost 2 - Movie Commentary (with Movie Audio): December 2017
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman R 2000 ‧ Slasher/Fantasy ‧ 1h 31m _____________________________________________________________________________
Sam (Christopher Allport) is traumatized by his experience the previous Christmas, battling Jack Frost (Matt Falletta), a murderous snowman possessed by a serial killer. His wife, Anne (Eileen Seeley), thinks a trip to the tropics will get his mind off the snow, so they pack their bags and head to a resort on an island in the Pacific. Meanwhile, the FBI accidentally resurrects Jack's remains during an experiment. Jack heads to the island, covers it in snow and embarks on another rampage.
Initial release: November 21, 2000 Director: Michael Cooney Film series: Jack Frost Film Series Music composed by: Chris Anderson Screenplay: Michael Cooney Well to finish off our Holiday Movie Commentaries we decided to dive into Jack Frost 2. There is much to say but watch the first Jack Frost and stop. Jack Frost 2 is not a good bad…
Dec 17, 2017
(Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017 (without Movie Audio)
Elves 1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m
____________________________________________________________________________
A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.
Release date: October 24, 1989
Director: Jeffrey Mandel
Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel
Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy
Production company: Action International Pictures
That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.
Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.
Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed…
Dec 17, 2017
(Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017 (with Movie Audio)
Elves 1989 ‧ Drama/Horror ‧ 1h 29m
____________________________________________________________________________
A department-store Santa Claus (Dan Haggerty) discovers a Neo-Nazi plot to mate a nice girl (Julie Austin) with an elf in Colorado.
Release date: October 24, 1989
Director: Jeffrey Mandel
Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel
Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy
Production company: Action International Pictures
That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.
Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.
Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed…
Dec 4, 2017
(Ep. 94) SR Podcast - December 2017
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
On this early holiday addition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss all the Hollywood news they missed while on Thanksgiving break during an edition of Can You Dig It. They also review everything from The Punisher to Vice Principals during TV Roundup. They even get to try out some new impressions during the game Simply Quotable…and all this is bookended by Justin’s attempt to cancel a gift basket he bought from Costco…yes really. All that, a new trailer spoof, and some underhanded shots at Matt Lauer on this Season’s Greetings episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.NOTESVince McMahon Buys WCW DC Execs Rush Justice League for bonuses Amazon Lord Of The Rings MUSICBy The Croft By Joakim Karud Road Trip By Joakim Karud Utopia In Peril By Chillout Chill Out Soul Rap By Nkato
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, and Pinterest
Oct 30, 2017
(Ep. 93): Killer Klowns from Outer Space - Movie Commentary: October 2017
Killer Klowns from Outer Space PG-13 ‧ 1988 ‧ Science fiction film/Cult film ‧ 1h 28m
When teenagers Mike (Grant Cramer) and Debbie (Suzanne Snyder) see a comet crash outside their sleepy small town, they investigate and discover a pack of murderous aliens who look very much like circus clowns. They try to warn the local authorities, but everyone assumes their story is a prank. Meanwhile, the clowns set about harvesting and eating as many people as they can. It's not until they kidnap Debbie that Mike decides it's up to him to stop the clowns' bloody rampage.Release date: May 20, 1988 (USA)
What could be better then watching some Killer Klowns this Halloween!? Well with the Simplistic Reviews crew! Join us as we watch a movie that was made to be wacky and goof, yet its still better then half the shit that comes out today! So grab that frankenberry! Pour some of that Halloween themed choice of beer because... this Movie Commentary is gonna scare your socks off!
Oct 17, 2017
SR Podcast (Ep. 92) October 2017
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
On this October episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matthew takes the reigns and guides us on a spooky journey which takes us from Harvey Weinstein, to Tyrese & Rock beefs, to Rush Hour sequels. The boys play the game where crossdressing is totally allowed, What Are You Supposed to be, and we all try to figure out the name of the black guy who hosted Nick Arcade. All that and more on a terror-filled edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast! NOTES The Rock v Tyrese Deathsalker Justice League Trailer Pacific Rim Trailer MUSICThe Thing Theme by John Carpenter The Great Pumpkin Soundtrack by Vince Guaraldi Gremlins Theme by Jerry Goldsmith Beetlejuice Theme by Danny Elfman Halloween Theme by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross Psycho Killer by Talking Heads Killer Klowns From Outer Space Theme by The Dickies Savin' The Day by Alessi The Shining Theme by Wendy Carlos and Rachel Elkind
Oct 10, 2017
Simplistic Interviews: Lou Simon, Director of "3" Talks Horror
In the edition of Simplistic Interviews, Matt "sits down" with director, Lou Simon, and discusses her newest film, "Lou Simon's 3."
CLICK HERE for the entire Youtube interview and check out all of here social media below:
MAIN SITE
TWITTER
INSTAGRAM
IMDB
FACEBOOK
Sep 30, 2017
(Ep. 91): Samurai Cop - Movie Commentary: September 2017
Samurai Cop
1991 ‧ Crime film/Thriller ‧ 1h 36m
Play trailer on YouTube
Release date:January 1, 1989 (USA)
Director:Amir Shervan
Screenplay: Amir Shervan
Film series: Samurai Cop Film Series
Well we know how to pick them don't we? Movie Commentary is back but this time with MORE ACTION! MORE BABES AND MORE INCREDIBLE LINE READING!
What the hell is Samurai Cop? You may be asking... Well according to Google it's about ...
But according to IMDB...
Samurai Cop follows Joe Marshall and Frank Washington who are police detectives assigned to stop the ruthless activities of the Katana a renegade Yakuza gang composed of violent and sadistic killers! All they want want to lead the drug trade in Los Angeles.
Then again... since we live in a world of fake news and fake facts its honestly entirely up to debate. But we here at Simplistic Reviews say, "Samurai Cop is a classic on so many levels!"
Everyone hold on this one gets kinda weird but then again it was the early 90's.
Here w…
Sep 3, 2017
(Ep. 90): SR Podcast - September 2017
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Hello friends and soon-to-be enemies! Since its Labor Day Weekend, the gang at Simplistic Reviews thought it would be a great time to get back to work. But it wasn't all fun and games on our Summer break. The fellas got a brand new studio...a brand new intern...and brand new ideas to pollute your brain with...like a sitcom about Hitler and Eva Braun or the craziest idea for a Bridesmaids sequel you'll ever hear. In between that Matt, Justin, and DJ tackle some of the topics they missed and prepare for nuclear winter from either North Korea or our own government while staving off ignored but still rampant national racism; institutional or otherwise...FUN FUN FUN! But mainly they use obscenities to take out everything from The Dark Tower, to a Joker stand alone film, to Brett Ratner. All this and more on an Always Sunny episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
0:00:00 Opening Skit
0:03:50 Show Monologue
0:8:43 Simplistic Showcase
0:36:55 TV Round Up
1:05:34 K…
Aug 3, 2017
(Ep. 89): Gymkata - Movie Commentary: August 2017
Gymkata
1985 ‧ R ‧ Action/Action/Adventure ‧ 1h 30m
(Trailer) YouTube
It's that time of the year again, August. The month we all hated as it was the end of our summer vacation and the beginning of back to school. So a little treat is needed and what could be better then Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas, who combines his gymnastic ability with martial arts to enter a deadly competition? I'm going to guess NOTHING!. Thomas has a few awards under his leotards. In 1985 he earned the big nomination for a Razzie Award as Worst New Star. Wow nothing but the best for you here at Simplistic Reviews.
"Watching Gymkata is a roundhouse kick of pure American action!" - Justin
So are you ready? Cue up your copy, sit back and be in awe over how a movie like this could even exist. Thank you movie gods!
Jul 11, 2017
(Ep. 88): SR Podcast - July 2017
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
When this show gets to 88 episodes, you're gonna hear some serious shit! On the July edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys tackle everything from Back To The Future to Judge Dredd. Justin is in the driver's seat for Word Association and tells his Steve Guttenberg story, DJ is forced to say something nice about Transformers: The Last Knight, Matt talks Castlevania Netflix 5000 on TV Roundup, and the boys take a break for the show to do a live commentary track on a television show in honor the great Adam West in a new segment called Simply Goofing Off. (Watch Along With Them With The Following Link: SIMPLY GOOFING OFF.) All that and more on a time traveling episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
0:00:00 Opening Skit
0:03:54 Show Monologue
0:12:09 Word Association
0:43:28 TV Round Up
0:53:27 Simply Goofing Off
1:16:58 Simply Say Anything
MUSIC
Power Of Love By Huey Lewis And The News
Back In Time By Huey Lewis And The News
Goof Troop
I Dr…
Jul 2, 2017
(Ep. 87): Thunder in Paradise - Movie Commentary: June 2017
Thunder in Paradise PG 1993 ‧ Adventure ‧ 1h 44m
With all of the remakes coming out these days we figured doing Thunder in Paradise would help our chances of getting Hurricane Spencer and Bru back on the waters kicking ass on silver screen, or maybe not. Terry "Hulk" Hogan stars as R. J. "Hurricane" Spencer who is an ex-Navy S. E. A. L. and confirmed bachelor struggling to make ends meet. In order to save his superboat THUNDER (and ultimately, his business) Spencer is forced into a marriage of convenience with the snobby Megan Whitaker. When Megan gets kidnapped it's up to Spencer and his partner Bru to save the day or risk losing everything.
Well today is the perfect day to release this action packed movie commentary. With July 4th days away, this holiday weekend we thought, what could be more American then ex-Navy SEALS saving the day off the Florida coastline?
Answer? NOTHING...Thunder in Paradise it is!
So join us this holiday along with classical trained actor (and def…
May 29, 2017
(Ep. 86): SR Podcast - May 2017
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Oh what a time to be alive! That's what we keep hearing. And yes, it's true, it is quite a time to be alive when you get to listen to another edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. Because, boy, let me tell you what, this one is a real doozy!
DJ, Justin, and Matt cover it all with their monthly news roundup that runs the gamet of nonsense to non-sensical.
And if you thought we liked fighting last month, wait until you get a load of "Simplistic Switcharoo." This time around, these Simplistic Scamps yammer on about who in Hollywood would do the other jobs better. We know you guys and gals have all fantasized about who would do our job better. Right? I mean imagine Betty White, Paula Deen, and Pat Sajak doing what we're doing...just imagine it...and imagine us on the "Golden Girl," cooking a fatty Southern racist meal, and giving the eyes to Vanna White...IMAGINE IT!
That, and we say hello to our PornHub resident scientist; PornHub Snooty Scientist, in what MA…
Apr 20, 2017
(Ep. 85): Deadly Prey - Movie Commentary: April 2017
Deadly Prey
1987 ‧ Drama/Action ‧ 1h 28m
In Vietnam, he was the best... He still is!
You've requested it, We watched it!
Deadly Prey is a fun film no doubt about that, might not be great film but boy is this a stupid fun time of a watch. So put on those short shorts and do some killing!
Colonel Hogan is a ruthless former military officer who trains a large group of former U.S. Servicemen as mercenaries by having them hunt down and kill people they abduct off the streets of Los Angeles. Hogan's greedy financier Michaelson threatens Hogan to speed up the men's training or he will pull the plug on Hogan's training camp. However, Hogan and his men meet their match when their latest kidnap victim turns out to be a tough gung-ho marine named Mike Danton who despite being unarmed and hunted, he manages to decimate Hogan's men in detail. Frustrated Hogan, his tough right-hand man Thornton and personal assistant Sybil kidnap Danton's wife Jaimy to force him in the open, while…
Apr 2, 2017
(Ep. 84): SR Podcast - April 2017
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
April Fools...this isn't really a podcast post....... so here's a picture of a Ryan Gosling eating cereal.
.....just kidding....maybe...but i mean just look at that sexy guy eating that cereal.
This month we make our grand return with all sorts of goodies. The fellas belly up to the bar to talk the news and their life failures in "What's On Tap."
We're also in the fighting mood this month and the only way to settle that is another round of "Simplistic Fisticuffs."
All this, mail order bride talk, trying to remember what the Street Sharks ever did for us, cross-dressing, and all shorts of April shenanigans on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Street Sharks
The Edge
Batgirl
MUSIC
Cocaine Model By ZHU The Hellraisers By Syd Dale
Tears In The Rain By Vangelis
Blade Runner End Titles By Vangelis
Feb 12, 2017
(Ep. 83): SR Podcast - February 2017
It's been a long time, we shouldn't have left you, without a podcast to step to....step to, step to...you get it; it's like that Aaliyah song.
We gave you a movie commentary to quench that junkie's thirst for our imminent return, but nothing can prepare you for this month's podcast that is sure to give you heart palpitations.
From the sultry tones of Al Pacino as he talks nipple clamps and spankings...to us wagering our souls, dignity and enthusiasm on 2017 films...and of course we have a game for you, because we love you so very much.
We return with "Hey Fuckhead," where we tear apart those in Hollywood that really piss...us...off, here's a hint; he's a world leader who probably has a tiny wiener...take that as you may.
Just in time for Valentine's Day, the newest Simplistic Reviews podcast. Body harnesses and ball gags not included.
NOTESWorld War Z
Jimmy Fallon & Alec Baldwin
Green Lantern ShortlistMUSIC
Cocaine Model By ZHU
By The Croft By Joakim Karud
What Time Is It By…
Jan 31, 2017
(Ep. 82): Savage Beach - Movie Commentary: January 2017
1989 | Action | 92 min
Ready for a trip to Savage Beach?
Come and enjoy beautiful our water
Wine and dine with at the island's number 1 restaurant.
And come see the last of what the 80's have to offer in Andy Sidaris'...
Savage Beach
TRAILER
Ladies and Gentlemen WE ARE BACK!
THE WOMEN!
THE GUNS!
THE OVER THE TOP CRAZIEST ACTION SCENES!
Ah... 2017 is going to be a good year! All new 90's Andy Sidaris' Films to watch. Honestly what more could you want!?
Shit...I just remembered...the 90's sucked and the world is in turmoil. Oh well let's enjoy what we have left then.
Drug agents Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) crash-land on a remote island, rumored to have a gold treasure. Treasure isn't the only thing on this island, war-gold seekers searching for their gold will do anything for riches.
Initial release: 1989 Director: Andy Sidaris Screenplay: Andy Sidaris Music composed by: Gary Stockdale
Dec 30, 2016
(Ep. 81): Year End Wrap Up Mini Show - December 2016
This is it guys and girls, the end of an era! The piece of shit known as 2016 is dead. 2016 was nothing but a douche to us all. Think about it, all horrible and horrific stuff. Don't believe me? Fine. Let me ask you, name one thing that was good about 2016?
Still waiting...
Anything?
Yeah we feel you. So to end the year and ring in a new one we have a Mini End of the Year Wrap Up Show! A podcast that wraps up the shitty year of movies into a bite size appetizer to welcome in 2017!
Thank you everyone who has listened this year. We appreciate your support and we have a lot planned for 2017.
"I know it was you, 2016. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."
Dec 25, 2016
(Ep. 80): Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 - Movie Commentary: December 2016
Merry Christmas! From Simplistic Reviews
Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2 1987 ‧ R‧ Drama/Slasher ‧ 1h 28min
Trailer
The sequel picks up on Christmas Eve some years after the first movie, with Ricky Caldwell, the 18-year-old brother of the first film's killer, now being held in a mental hospital, awaiting trial for a series of murders that he committed. While being interviewed by the psychiatrist Dr. Henry Bloom, Ricky tells the story of the murders his brother Billy committed throughout a series of several flashbacks using footage from the original film. These flashbacks have new shots to make Ricky appear in more of Billy's original story.
To say Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is a good movie is an understatement. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is the greatest movie ever! Come on this is a fun movie to watch. You really have to give it to the team for making a 1hr 30min movie off a 30 page script. Yes I'm somewhat joking, but let's be honest this movie is freaking…
Dec 11, 2016
(Ep. 79): Suicide Squad - Extended Cut - Movie Commentary: December 2016
Suicide Squad - Extended Cut
2 hours, 14 minutes
Seriously? Yes I don't know why but we did another WB extended-we-don't-give-you-the-full-movie-the-first-time-cut.
What to say about a poorly made film. I mean a 8 year old with iMovie could do a better editing job.
And I feel bad for bringing the 8 year old this luckluster piece of crap.
DJ says it the best. "This is the biggest disappointment of the year".
So we know you really do not want to watch this film again but hell we gave it a try. So this Sunday Funday Movie Night lets give it a GO!
All Board the WB shitliner one more time!
This time the
S. S. We fooled you again...HAHAHA (Shitty Joker laugh)
Don't worry, this time we have Ted Lange as Your Bartender!
Suicide Squad
It feels good to be bad...Assemble a team of the world's most dangerous, incarcerated Super Villains, provide them with the most powerful arsenal at the government's disposal, and send them off on a mission to defeat an enigmatic, insuperable entity.…
Nov 19, 2016
(Ep. 78): SR Podcast - November 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
On this Thanksgiving episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys talk about turkey and Donald Trump...A Minecraft movie and Donald Trump...Shelley Duvall and Donald Trump and who would win in a fight between Dracula and the Wolfman...oh an also why tackle our new Presidential overlord Donald J. Drumpf...all that and more on a turkey day episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. And that wasn't a typo, by the way. Donald Trump's real name is Drumpf...these are facts.
NOTES
Al Bundy Fights
Wolfman's Got Nards
All Your Base Are Belong To Us
Chickens Have Come Home To Roost
MUSIC
Hail To The Chief
The Incredible Hulk Theme By Daniel Caine Orchestra
Beast Atoms By L-Beazt
Sharp Minds By L-Beazt
Cocaine Model By ZHU
By The Croft By Joakim Karud
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Oct 24, 2016
(Ep. 77): SR Podcast - October 2016
YOUTUBE LINK
CHECK US OUT
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
On this spooktacular Halloween episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys discuss everything that goes bump in the night...from Deadpool director woes to a Captain Planet film from Leo. Matthew solves the mystery that is the Madea films. And the boys try to guess each other's Halloween costumes in a segment we're calling What Are You Supposed To Be. All that and more on this pumpkin spice latte version of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Madea film
Westworld
John Phillips
Pitch
Captain Planet by Leo
MUSIC
Halloween Theme by John Carpenter
It's The Great Pumpkin Waltz by Vince Guaraldi
Who Can It Be Now by Men At Work
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Oct 21, 2016
(Ep.76): Child's Play 2 - Movie Commentary: Oct 2016
Child's Play 2 Play trailer on YouTube
1990 ‧ Slasher/Thriller ‧ 1h 24m
Movie Commentary Friday! (Is that a thing?)
Hey everyone! Welcome to another Movie Commentary. Halloween is creeping up on us so we're continuing with some more movies about murdering. Only this time its a grown man trapped into the workings of a children's doll. (Cue Disney themed music)
Whats that?! Another bloody movie commentary that involves children? Yeah we know. Listen we didn't plan this out, it was purely random. But hey guess what? Luck is on our side because Child's Play 2 is a million times better then that last one, especially in story structure.
So sit back and watch out for that old toy you forgot about in your closet. You know the one that you witness a man doing black magic on when Dad and you went to the bank that one time. Sure you remember, don't you? You know when the cops came and shot up the place? And as he pulled his bullet riddled-bloody body, he knew the only way to live…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 75): Beware! Children at Play - Movie Commentary: October 2016
Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!
Beware! Children at Play1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989
Well that happened...
DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And...Well...It's not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don't do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.
CUTTING ROOM FLOOR
Ep. 75 with Movie Background
Ep. 75 without Movie Background
:)
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 74): SR Podcast - September 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
This month's show is themed around the genius of the late and great Gene Wilder. As we honor his legacy, we create our very own film monstrosities with a new segment called, "Frankenstein's Monster." Think soap in pillow cases and jackets with scorpions on the back...
We also "blaze" our own saddles and whip out some news in "Excuse Me While I Whip This Out." All this, and antics galore on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Taylor and the Loki-poki stick
The Devil in Ms. Jones
Joe Mangenello as Slade Wilson
Wonka's Tunnel of Love
Scooby Dax Shepard Doo
Halle Berry's Call
The Passing of a Wilder One
MUSIC
Let It Happen By Tame Impala
Blazing Saddles Theme
Young Frankenstein Lullaby
Springtime for Hitler
World of Pure Imagination
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 73): Friday the 13th Part III - Movie Commentary: August 2016
Friday the 13th Part III
1982 | Slasher | 1hr 35min
Welcome to the first ever 3D Podcast! How is a audio only podcast in 3D? We have no idea...
Requested by Bradley Taylor,
Friday the 13th Part III once again follows murderer Jason Voorhees, who as a child drowned off the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. Is there anyone that can put an end to Jason's murderous rampage?
Friday the 13th Part III is a 1982 American 3D slasher film directed by Steve Miner and the third installment in the Friday the 13th film series. Originally released in 3-D, it is the first film to feature antagonist Jason Voorhees wearing his signature hockey mask, which has become a trademark of both the character and franchise, as well an icon in American cinema and horror films in general. As a direct sequel to Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the film follows a group of co-eds on vacation at a house on Crystal Lake, where Jason Voorhees has taken refuge. (IMDB)
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 72): SR Podcast - August 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On this August edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys come back from their vacation and catch up with what they missed. JD Duran from Insession Film joins them for a game of Word Association and a brand new game called Simplistic Submarine. The entire Insession family also helps the boys with their ode to Jason Bourne. Yo-Ho-Ho mateys! All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Dr. Strange Trailer
Wonder Woman Trailer
Justice League Trailer
Blair Witch Trailer
Kong Skull Island Trailer
Rocketeers
Fantastic Beasts Trailer
Hacksaw Ridge Trailer
MUSIC
Let It Happen By Tame Impala
1976 By RJD2
I Dream Of genie Remix
Chronos By Hi-Finesse
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 71): Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice - Ultimate Edition - Movie Commentary: July 2016
Batman V Superman
2016 | Superhero | 181 minutes
Today on this 4th of July we fight a 3hr war, one we thought we would lose. But we made it through all 3hrs of Zack Snyder's poor choices to bring you another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We're sure you have better things to do today. Drink and Eating come to mind. But the time may come when you must watch that
Batman V SupermanDawn of JusticeUltimate EditionExtended CutCollectors EditionMovie Commentary
Christ that's a mouthful. Then lets watch it together. A army of one. A uprising to be independent from unbelievable plot holes in a $250 million dollar movie. I mean it's crazy to think these people are professionals and still somehow find work.
So remember young ones. You don't need to jam 10 pounds of shit into a 5 pound bag. Fill up that first bag with all that needed shit and grab another 5 pound bag to finish stuffing that shit. Because having two bags of shit is okay, not one overstuffed bag of shit with plot ho…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 70): Picasso Trigger - Movie Commentary: June 2016
Picasso Trigger
1988 | Action | 1hr 39mins
It's Friday! So we thought another
Movie Commentary was in order!
Continuing our marathon of the one and only Andy Sidaris. If this is your first time, Sidaris is the king of B-Rated films that pretty much only contains the 3 elements any film really ever needs Bullets, Babes and Sex!
Today we let lose on Picasso Trigger, another solid entry into the Sidaris legacy.
"Double agent Picasso Trigger is assassinated in Paris by double-crossing bad guy Miguel Ortiz. Then Ortiz begins eliminating agents of The Agency who were involved in his brother's death. The Agency (belatedly) springs into action to stop Ortiz' heinous activities. The usual gunplay, romance, and nifty toys with bombs ensue."
So grab a cold one and get ready for a thrill of a lifetime, because kids this is...
Picasso Trigger!
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 69): SR Podcast - May 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On the May edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast...Justin Polizzi...absolutely...LOSES IT! Matt and DJ are powerless to stop him from embracing the dark side and unleashing his anger about the new Ghostbusters movies...and Finding Dory...and Spider-Man Homecoming...and the television upfront trailers for Lethal Weapon, MacGyver and Training Day. Polizzi's unbridled rage and fury sends the show toppling down into a dark abyss of obscenities and inappropriate behavior with household pets. An abyss the show may never ever be able to recover from. Now doesn't that sound like a show that you should listen to?! All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES
Lethal Weapon Television Series
Training Day Television Series
MacGyver Television Series
Tetris Film
Joe Pesci Rap Song "Wise Guy"
Ghostbusters Trailer 2
MUSIC
1976 By RJD2
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson
Let It Happen By…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 68): SR Podcast - BONUS CONTENT
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
If you listened to the cold open to Episode 68 of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, guest starring Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing and Al Pacino, you might have heard Julie in the background taping something in the recording studio. In this Bonus Content clip, you can hear exactly what she was saying on her side of the glass.
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, and Pinterest
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 68): SR Podcast - April 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On this “Spring Cleaning” episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matty Negs from Negs Best Thing Podcast helps us talk remakes of TV shows, reboots of Robin Williams films, Game Of Thrones, Prince, Coolio, and movie character fights to the death. Oh and Al Pacino reads the phone book for us. All that and more on the April edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Notes
Rock and Jumanji
Chyna as She-Hulk
Music
Partyman by Prince
I Would Die For You by Prince
1999 by Prince
Let's Go Crazy by Prince
Raspberry Beret by Prince
Kiss by Prince
Controversy by Prince
Pop Life by Prince
Black Sweat by Prince
You Sexy MF by Prince
I Feel For You by Prince
When Doves Cry by Prince
North by Prince
Purple Rain by Prince
Game Of Thrones Theme by Ramin Djwada
Inside The Actor’s Studio Theme by Angelo Badalamenti
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 67): Police Academy 4 - Movie Commentary: April 2016
Ready for another Police Academy Movie Commentary?
Nether are we...
But hey this is the last movie in the series and without a doubt better then that last one.
So for that last time (Thank God)
Grab that popcorn, get ready for dick jokes and enjoy the fact that there is no more Comdt. Mauser
Ladies and Gentlemen this is...
Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol1987 | 1hr 28min | Comedy
We are finally done! Every Single Police Academy Film has been commented on by the gang at Simplistic Reviews.
Every Single One...
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 66): SR Podcast - March 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On this ORDER 66 Episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys get prepped for Batman V Superman with a brand new skit. Matt accepts our award from GeekCast Radio Network for best podcast. And to prove that they can be fair, the boys play a round of Simply Say Anything. Trailers, Indiana Jones, and Daredevil talk. All this and more on the March edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Notes
Order 66
Sean Connery Slapping Women Explanation
Judge Reinhold
Predator Poster
James Franco Batman Cowl
Music
Immediate Music - Person of Interest By Aleksandar Dimitrijevic
Let It Happen By Tame Impala
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 65): SR 2016 Oscar Prediction Podcast
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
You've heard from the experts...now hear from the madmen from Simplistic Reviews as they predict who will and who should win at the 2016 Oscars. Don't worry, the boys do their best to skate around the #OscarsSoWhite issue. What, are you kidding? They tackle it head on with enough irreverence that even Spike Lee flinch. They also tackle other topics like R rated animation, Jennifer Lawrence on the precipise of being hated, and Harvey Fierstein...a lot of Harvey Fierstein. All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Oscar Prediction Podcast
NOTES
Harvey Fierstein in Independence Day
Morgan Freeman Car Accident
MUSIC
Hot Shot By Saun & Star
Across 110th Street By Bobby Womack
Strawberry Letter 23 By The Brothers Johnson
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 64): SR Podcast - February 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On this Law & Order/Valentine's Day-centric episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Jay Cluitt from Life Vs. Film and the Lamb joins the boys to discuss important topics like Earl Grey, Parliament, Paul Giamatti, Mr. T, and Christopher Walken. Also the boys take some time to admit some of their worst movie and television sins in another edition of Simply Ashamed.
All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Podcast
NOTES:
FX Film
Life Vs. Film
Earl Grey
Billions
MUSIC
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
It's A Shame Remix By The Spinners
Law & Order Theme By Mike Post
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 63): Malibu Express - Movie Commentary: February 2016
Malibu Express1985 | Crime/Mystery | 1hr 45minsFUN
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Cody Abiliene is a semi-successful private detective desperately in need of a big (and well-paying) case. When he's hired to solve the murder of Contessa Luciana's husband, he jumps at the chance. In between investigating the many women around the Contessa's estate, Abilene eventually uncovers a complex case of espionage and blackmail.
So Police Academy 3: Back in Training SUCKED! Don't worry we Love You (only you)! So we have you covered, Malibu Express is the shit (the good shit). Part of the Bullets Bombs and Babes collection from Andy Sidaris, Malibu Express keeps its silliness but adds more to its story then that of Hard Ticket to Hawaii.
Sure Ticket was fun as well but bringing a bit of mystery to an already entertaining film is going the extra mile. Something Police Academy 3 never did.
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 62): Police Academy 3: Back in Training - Movie Commentary: February 2016
Police Academy 3: Back in Training1986 | Comedy(?) | 1hr 23minsSHIT
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
We did it! Call us crazy but we did it!
When police funding is cut, Governor Neilson announces that one of the city's two police academies will have to be closed down. To make it fair, Neilson announces a competition to determine which academy will stay opened. Commandant Eric Lassard calls back some of his former students to train the new batch of students, hoping to get the edge on the rival academy, which is run by Commandant Mauser. Lassard's new instructors, the former students he has brought back, include Carey Mahoney, Eugene Tackleberry, Moses Hightower, Debbie Callahan, Larvell Jones, Laverne Hooks, and Douglas Fackler.
Among the new students at Lassard's academy are Cadet Nogata, Cadet Karen Adams, Cadet Bud Kirkland, Cadet Sarah, Cadet Hedges, former gang leader Zed, and Zed's roommate, Cadet Sweetchuck. In order to increase his own academy's chances of winning, Mauser persu…
Oct 17, 2016
Simplistic Theater: Star Wars -The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI)
George Lucas did it.
Why can't we?
We figured it was best since today
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
comes out.
So don't get mad and if you would like to write out letter to complain, send that mail to
5858 Lucas Valley Road, Nicasio, CA 94946
Oct 17, 2016
Simplistic Theater Episode VI : Star Wars - Return Of The Jedi
With only 1 day till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is
Simplistic Theater
And today we bring youEpisode VI
Return Of The Jedi
Oct 17, 2016
Simplistic Theater Episode V : Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back
With only 2 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is
Simplistic Theater
And today we bring youEpisode V
The Empire Strikes Back
Oct 17, 2016
Simplistic Theater Episode IV : Star Wars - A New Hope
With only 3 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is
Simplistic Theater
And today we bring youEpisode IV
A New Hope
Oct 17, 2016
Simplistic Theater Episode III : Star Wars - Revenge Of The Sith
With only 4 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is
Simplistic Theater
And today we bring youEpisode III
Revenge Of The Sith
Oct 17, 2016
Simplistic Theater Episode II : Star Wars - Attack Of The Clones
With only 5 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is
Simplistic Theater
And today we bring youEpisode II
Attack Of The Clones
Oct 17, 2016
Simplistic Theater Episode I : Star Wars - The Phantom Menace
With only 6 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is
Simplistic Theater
And today we bring youEpisode I
The Phantom Menace
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 61): SR Podcast - January 2016
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Happy Jew Year friends and family. The Simplistic Reviews Crew is back, and boy are they going to let you have it....not their virginity, we're all still clearly waiting for the right one to give that away to....
This month the boys try to find a way to make "Making a Murderer" the new #1 Comedy on CBS, to DJ's everylasting black rage involving Michael Bay as Transformers 69 is coming soon. We even throw in a little TV talk, and introduce a brand new game segment where we decide who lives or dies in "Simplistic Fisticuffs."
All this, plus we finally catch up with the asshat responsible for the deaths of both David Bowie and Alan Rickman in this super-sized, jam-packed edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES:
Bowie Being Bowie
Rickman Being Rickman
Bay Being Bay
MUSIC
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Syd Dale By The Hell Raisers
1976 By RJD2
Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube,…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 60): SR Podcast - December 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
On this holiday episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matthew's Judeism is put to the test, Justin continues to try and make sense of the Prequels, DJ laments over Die Hard, and the boys have a hell of a time writing letters to Santa, spinning dreidels and breaking down the finale of Fargo. All this and more on our Ho-Ho-Ho Holiday Show.
NOTES
Quentin vs Disney
Independence Day 2 Trailer
TMNT 2 Trailer
X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer
MUSIC
Die Hard Score By Michael Kamen
Couple Of Misfits By Burt Ives
Christmas Time Is Here By Vince Guaraldi Trio
Christmas In Hollis By Run D.M.C.
Ode To Joy By Ludwig van Beethoven
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 59): Icebreaker - Movie Commentary: December 2015
ICEBREAKERTrailer
2000 | Action/Drama/Poorly Made | 90mins
At the the Killington ski resort something has gone awry. Evil terrorists led by the sinister Greig have taken the resort hostage with a stolen nuclear device. It's up to Ski Patrol bum Matt Foster to save the day... and his fiancé.
How did someone think a knockoff of Die Hard with Sean Astin would be a good idea?
It's that time of the year! Sunday Night Movie Night! Since the holidays are near and the snow is on the ground we figured Icebreaker is the right choice! (boy are we wrong)
Even MJ gives it his seal of approval. So everyone snuggle up in your blanket, pure some eggnog, get that fire going and sit back and enjoy the 2000 Classic,
Icebreaker!
FUN FACTS:
IT SUCKS
A PEZ IS USED AS A WEAPON
A VHS IS USED AS A WEAPON
BOMBS COUNT UP IN THIS FILM
IS IT BASED ON A TRUE STORY
NOPE THATS A LIE
SEAN ASTIN IS 14 IN THIS FILM AND EVERY OTHER FILM
TOOK US OVER A YEAR TO TRACK DOWN A COPY
WHAT A WASTE OF A YEAR…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 58): SR Podcast - November 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCE
Fall has fallen and the boys at Simplistic Reviews have taken it upon themselves to kick off the Thanksgiving Month right. There's Ronda Rousey Roadhouse talk, an uncensored Julie, Kelly LeBrock reminiscing and a good old fashioned game of Kill, F%*k, Marry.
All this in more in a turkey filled episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast
NOTES
The Usual Suspects
Ronda Rousey Loss
Woman In Red
Roadhouse
Fargo's Mike Milligan
MUSIC
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Action In Memphis By John Pearson
The Ususal Suspects Theme By John Ottman
Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 57): SR Podcast - "Happy" Halloween 3: Season of the Witch: October 2015
Happy Halloween!
Today is Halloween and to celebrate we figured what would be a better way then with the very unappreciated but great...
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
98 mins | Horror | 1982
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
The gang gathers around for this Halloween film that doesn't feature Micheal Myers but does feature but not limited to, Killer Halloween Masks! Commercialization of the Halloween! Witchcraft! Androids! Shamrocks! and Tom mofo Atkins! It's a spooky film for a spooky day...now if only we could drink a McDonald's Shamrock Shake with a hit of whiskey that would make this day even better!
Notes:
Halloween 3: Season of the Witch
Trailer
Soundtrack
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 56): SR Podcast - October 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
To celebrate this creepy time of year, why not hang with the creepiest movie aficionados in the biz. On this Halloween edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys talk candy...fall TV premieres...Ronda Rousey's Roadhouse and Hayden Christensen.
This episode is filled to the brim with tricks and treats. Grab your machete, your knife glove, and put on your inside out William Shatner mask and enjoy!
NOTES
Jennifer Lawrence's Hunger Games C-word poster
Sam Smith Writing On the Wall
Ellen Pompeo criticizes Daniel Craig
MUSIC
Created A Monster by B.o.B.
Murder Was The Case By Snoop Dogg
Bonfire By Childish Gambino
Saw Theme By Charles Clouser
Halloween Theme By John Carpenter
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 55): SR Podcast - Hard Ticket To Hawaii - Movie Commentary: September 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Today's Sunday Movie is...
Hard Ticket to Hawaii
96mins / Action / 1987
There are films that come and go. Great films that missed the limelight and never get the recognition they deserve.
Then there is Hard Ticket To Hawaii, a film that's not amazing but we are glad it was made. It's a crazy film that feels like they honestly just run and gun it. And even though this film isn't perfect, it is one fun film to watch.
Check out Slaughter Film's ReviewAction Movie Time Machine - Hard Ticket to Hawaii
It's a film jam packed full of Bullets, Boobs and Explosions!
What more can you ask for?
Show Notes
Watch the film with us
Read the Slaughter Film Review
Music Notes
Theme Song
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 54): SR Podcast - September 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Sharpen your pencils and grab your loose-leaf notebooks. It's the "back to school" edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. On this episode, the boys tackle Jesse Spano's horrible drug problem, Patty Mayonnaise's slutty behavior, and Max Landis' ego.
Speaking of schooling, Matt and DJ also pay up on a debt and discuss the high school spy film Barely Lethal, starring Oscar nominees Hailee Steinfeld and Samuel L. Jackson...yes...nothing in that sentence was made up.
Bill Cosby, Jared, Kanye, Miley...all get a little ribbing on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes
Wes Craven
Jesse Spano freakout
Patti Mayonnaise
Tommy Wiseau & Fantastic 4
Music Notes
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Saved By The Bell Theme Song
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips
Game Of Thrones Remix
Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 53): SR Podcast - August 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Alright! Alright! The world can keep on spinning, cuz The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back! The irreverency level of the podcasting universe has just gone up as the boys barrel back into the world of movies and television once again. First they catch up with some of the stuff they missed with our annual segment Can You Dig It. Then the boys do a postmortem of True Detective Season 2 and sell Justin on the USA Network Show Mr. Robot. The boom boxes are held high to close off the show as they once again play the game Simply Say Anything.
Hulk Hogan is dealt with, Sesame Street is repurposed, Hateful 8 is dismissed for legal reason, and The Fantastic Four is laughed at...all on this return episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes
Shrimp Hands
Hulk Hogan Racist
Skyfall Target Practice
Bad Apocalypse
Roddy Piper Coconut
Ian Malcolm Lecture
Music Notes
Get Up Offa That Thing By James Brown
In Your Eyes By Peter Gabriel
Can You Di…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 52): Never Too Young To Die - Movie Commentary: August 2015
A secret agent is murdered!
Can his son, a high school gymnast, along with a spy catch the man/woman who killed him?
Team up with DJ and Justin to find out on the next Monday Night Movie Night!
Never Too Young To Die
92 mins / Action / 1986
Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless Van Ragnar. In this action-packed Bond-style thriller, the murdered secret agent's son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge against Van Ragnar. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest.
Watch along with the film HERE
Taglines to tickle your fancy!
Stargrove: the new American hero.
Vanity: the new breed of temptress! Stamos: the new breed of hero!
At the age of 18, every government agency wanted him... dead or alive.
He inherited all his father's enemies and only one of his friends.
Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity style. Hero: American style.
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep.51): Back to School - Movie Commentary: July 2015
We are back again for another Monday Night
Movie Night!
After that big 50th episode we took a bit of a break and sat down to watch the 1986 classic Back to School. We figured a few laughs was in order since a murder took place on that last podcast.
Back to School
96 mins / Comedy / 1986
"To help his discouraged son get through college, a fun-loving and obnoxious rich businessman decides to enter the school as a student himself."
Music Notes
Back to School - Jude Cole
Twist and Shout - Rodney Dangerfield
Back To School - Oingo Boingo
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep.50): SR Podcast - Extravaganza!: June 2015
FOR (MOSTLY) IMMATURE AUDIENCES
Normal podcasts usually hit their 50th podcast roughly before their first year of existence. Good podcasts that pump out constant content on a normal basis won't even make a big deal about their 50th podcast. Superior podcasts will look at what we're doing and probably scoff at our sheer ineptitude to barely put out a single podcast every month. Well, it's a good thing that we are neither normal, good, and...well...the only time we've been called superior is when we show up to our parole hearings on time. Come to think of it, I better call Justin, I haven't heard from him in a while.
With that being said, get ready for some "high"-jinks as DJ, Justin, and Matt celebrate in style with the 50th edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. There will be laughs galore as the guys invite, or some might say "force", guests from other more well-received podcasts to share in their debauchery. Guests like JD Duran from the Insession Film Podcast. Barr…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 49): SR Podcast - June 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
This is it! The penultimate episode before 50th episode extravaganza!
You'll swoon for June as the boys discover that there is no safe joke to be made about Caitlyn Jenner. They instead decide to tackle stories such as a Big Trouble In Little China reboot, a Jack Bauer spinoff, and a James Bond free for all on Simplistic Showcase. Justin and DJ later pay off a debt and discuss the 2014 horror anomaly that is Ouija. A conversation that introduces not one, not two, but three new characters. There is also the introduction of an old game played in a new way known as Simplistic Password. And The ongoing mystery between the boys and Julie reaches its climax.
Oh and Shia Labeouf closes out the show.
All this and more on a highly questionable, slightly offensive, Smokey and the Bandit themed episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
5:23 - Simplistic Showcase
37:31 - A Simplistic Reviewer Always Pays His Debts
57:35 - Simplistic Password
Show Notes
Mr.…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 48): Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment - Movie Commentary - May 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
It's Monday
Movie Night
Movie Commentary!
Police Academy 2:
Their First Assignment
1985 / Comedy / 87 mins
We already watched the classic Police Academy.
So now we continue this marathon with its sequel Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment.
Many movie franchises have had equality or superior sequels. Movie franchises like The Godfather, The Dark Knight, Star Wars. Police Academy 2 is not one of them. In fact its the complete opposite and is a pretty bad film with only one good take away, Zed.
So sit back with the popcorn as we try to get though by having a few laughs at the expense of this weak sequel.
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 47): SR Podcast - May 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
In honor of Mother's Day, The Simplistic Reviews Podcast has assembled their regular team of badass motherf*%kers to ring in the month of May. They touch on Suicide Squad...they touch on the Joss Whedon haters...they touch on Tom Brady's balls...all in an effort to entertain you. So sit back, give it a listen, and say hello to your mother for me.
6:37 Simplistic Showcase
36:53 TV Roundup
59:44 Hey F*%khead
Also as a special treat...here is an outtake that was too ridiculous not to share with the world
Show Notes
Redrum
Ally McBeal
Andy Kaufman
Lord Humongous
Music Notes
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
The Great Escape Theme By Paul Bateman
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 46): SR Podcast - Late April Podcast 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
You might be asking yourself, "What?! Another Simplistic Reviews Podcast? You mean these guys are actually getting off of their ass and putting out content for the public to consume?" Yes, it might sound crazy, but.....uh....yeah....another podcast....from us.....Simplistic Reviews.
As we get closer and closer to our grandest episode so far; Number 50, we look back at our lives and search for meaning, apparently that means we bring up Bill Cosby again, the fact that Iceman is now gay, Donatello is dead, and fantasize about Moira Quirk in that sexy referee outfit...mmmmmm.....
All this, and our newest segment, Simply Say Anything, where we hold a radio over our head and praise the likes of Lena Dunham, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, and explain why Quentin Tarantino is actually the worst director in modern cinema. Have we lost our minds.....maybe....but we're not telling, and you'll just have to listen to this month's SIMPLISTIC REVIEWS PODCAST!!!! WH…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 45): Slaughter High - Movie Commentary: April 2015
Movie Commentary Time!
Slaughter High
1986 - 90 mins - Slasher/Horror
Today we watch and make fun of the 90 min B-Slasher film, Slaughter High. We know what you are saying, "It's finally here!" Since the Podcast gang has been talking about Slaughter High numerous times on Podcasts and even a episode on Unboxing/Reviews.
Slaughter High is about eight people that are invited to their 10-year high school reunion at their now-closed down high school where a former student, disfigured from a prank gone wrong, is there to seek revenge. Simple and to the point but it's got its issues.
Slaughter High is a fun, entertaining film of which everyone should see. If you haven't this is the perfect time to watch!
Also this Movie Commentary is sponsor by Tide Stick!
Remember kids, if you go on a murderous rampage bring along a Tide Stick!
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 44): Police Academy - Movie Commentary: April 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Today is movie commentary day! Today we watch the one and only Police Academy.
There isn't another movie in the likes of Police Academy. I mean how many movies include a human soundboard, extreme racism, a man in a horses ass and a surprise blow job to a 100 year old man (that could possibly be or not be by Steve Guttenberg).
Sounds like the perfect ingredients for the perfect film right? Well it is one of the funniest comedies ever made. So cue up that VHS copy of Police Academy and prepare to laugh at one of the more ridiculous comedies ever made.
SHOW NOTES
Vampire Academy Joke
Police Academy - Trailer
Police Academy - Theme Song
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 43): SR Podcast - April 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
Play-Doh! YA Vamp movies! Good Friday & Passover Combined! Get ready for the most eclectic episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast yet. Justin and DJ finally pay their debts to Matthew by finally reviewing Vampire Academy. And by reviewing...we mean trashing the hell out of it. They also discuss how Fox does something right with Deadpool...then something way, way wrong with Play-Doh. They also get their Artful Dodger on with the return of the segment Get Your Hand Out My Pocket. Guard your jewels in this Holy edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
SHOW NOTES
Play-Doh
Vampire Academy
Mad Max: Fury Road
Spectre
Best of Pennywise
Deadpool April Fools
We're No Angels
MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
We Gotta Get Out Of This Place By The Animals
Birds And Brass By Sort Of Soul
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips
The He-Man Opening That The Boys Are Spoofing
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 42): Nobody's Perfect - Movie Commentary: March 2015
Thursday Movie Night!
Tonight's Movie Commentary is a little unknown film called
Nobody's Perfect
1990 - PG13 - 90mins - Comedy
Starring the famous Lowe brother, Chad Lowe. Nobody's Perfect is about Stephen (possibly looking for a way to cross dress) is a tennis loving college student you falls for Shelly a chick who apparently can't pick the right guys. To get closer Stephen becomes Stephanie to befriend Shelly. It's all wacky fun from there...oh and rape.
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 41): SR Podcast - March 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES
The Ides of March Approaches...and so does the March 2015 edition the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. On this episode the boys chastise the person responsible for allowing a 72 year old Harrison Ford into an airplane. Justin discovers a brand new...um...old show that is hilarious in all the right ways. DJ questions if the Tommy Lee Jones we've seen in public is the real Tommy Lee Jones. And Matt saves the lives of 3 people while eradicating another from existence. All that and more on this 1.21 gigawatt powered episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
SHOW NOTES
1.21 gigawatts
Danger 5
Harrison Ford plane crash
Diablo Barbie
Age of Ultron Trailer
Danny Elfman Music in Age of Ultron
Tommy Lee Jones commercial
Black & Blue or White & Gold Dress
MUSIC NOTES
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Back To The Future Theme By Alan Silvestri
Back To The Future II Theme By Alan Silvestri
Back To The Future III Theme By Alan Silvestri
We Gotta Get O…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 40): SR Oscar Prediction Podcast 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Hooray for Hollywood? Naw, it's time to skewer Hollywood and rip them and new one, of course while picking the winner's of this year's Academy Awards.
The boys go over all the essential categories from Best Score all the way to the grand-daddy of them all; "the award where they could have had 10 nominations, but they decided to go with eight."
Will "Boyhood" be this year's big winner? Will "Birdman" fly above the competition? Why was "Gone Girl" only nominated for one award? Why is the Academy in love with films that feature people with disabling diseases? Is it a fetish that they secretly have that we don't know about?
All this and much more as the Simplistic Reviews Crew gives Hollywood the old "what-for."
Show Notes:
Hugh Jackman Hopping At Tony Awards
Music Notes:
Ecstasy of Gold Remix By Ennio Morricone,
Blinded By The Lights By Streets,
That I'm Dreaming By Noel
If you're not interested in our ramblings, just check out our picks below:
Be…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 39): Miami Connection - Movie Commentary: February 2015
Friday Night Movie Night!
Tagline: Survival the ultimate test...
The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song "Against the Ninja," Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world's smelliest underbelly. It'll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can't stop until they've completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the "stupid cocaine"
...and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!
Podcast Notes
Deleted Scene "Music Store"
Music
Dragon Sound "Friends"
Dragon Sound "Against The Ninja"
Miami Connection OST - Jon McCallum - Trainyard
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 38): SR Podcast - Mid-February 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On this mid-February edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys attempt to break the record for most obscenities and deplorable subject matter brought up while still staying under the guise of a film and television review program. Jairo from the True Bromance Film Podcast stops by to help them accomplish their mission. They discuss the Spidey-Pocalypse...they discuss Michael Jordan's Hitler mustache....they disgrace anyone who watched 50 Shades of Grey...and they get all their frustrations out on Hollywood with one of their favorite games, Hey F*%khead. All that and more on the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. Seriously...take a shot whenever you hear an F-bomb. You'll be in rehab around halfway through
SHOW NOTES
Michael Jordan Hitler Mustache
Rinko Kikuchi
The Nothing from The Neverending Story
The Wolf
MUSIC NOTES
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
20/20 Theme
Inside The Actors Studio Theme By Angelo Badalamenti
Great Escape Theme By Elm…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 37): SR Podcast - February 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
In this Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, we...um...don't talk about the Super Bowl. We do talk to Dan Clark from The Talking In Circles Podcast. Dan gives us his take on Pratt possibly being cast as Indiana Jones. In exchange for his well thought out analysis the boys force him to share deep dark secrets about himself on a segment we like to call Simply Ashamed. DJ reveals how he lost his one true love, Matt reveals a hidden musical talent, and all three of them take great pleasure in the absurdity of the film Lean On Me. All this and more on this Super Bowl/Non Super Bowl Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast
SHOW NOTES
Oscar Mayer Weinermobile
Lean On Me
A Recorder
Black Mirror Pig Joke
Joker Explains How He Corrupted Harvey Dent
Purple Man
Bruce Jenner Is A Woman Now
MUSIC NOTES
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
It's A Shame Remix By The Spinners
Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angel…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 36): SR Podcast - January 2015
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
It's a brand new year and a brand new episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. This month the boys are not just joined by a Vern...they are joined by The Vern from The As You Watch Podcast and The Vern's Video Video Vortex. They pop his Simplistic cherry with a good ol' game of Kill, F&%k, Marry. And like all guests, the boys decide to go Inside The Podcaster...yes...it's as gross as it sounds. Also...Julie and Vern admit their feeling for each other. All this and more on this January 2015 edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast
Show Notes
Bill Cosby
Deadpool Dead
No Bourne Crossover
Wolverine Dead
Quicksilver & Scarlet Witch No Longer Mutants
Fantastic Four Josh Trank Set Report
Batman v Superman Split
Music Notes
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme
G.I. Joe Theme
Thundercats Theme
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Action In Memphis By Johnny Pearson
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Inside The Actors Studio Theme Angelo Badalamenti…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 35) SR Podcast 2014 Year End Wrap Up Show
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
You thought you might have heard the last of us this year.......uh, uh, uh. The Best...The Worst...The Most Anticipated...And More! The boys at Simplistic Reviews close off 2014 with a conversation about the best and worst films of the year. They also take a look into the future and geek out about their most anticipated films of 2015. Justin begs for movies in the future to make him laugh, Matt admits to having a thing for maniacs, DJ’s blood pressure spikes when talking about his most hated film, Julie makes an insensitive joke about North Korea, which more than likely prompts the site’s eventual hacking. Download and listen...while you can.
NOTES
Sigmund Freud Joke Explanation
BB-8
Terminator Genisys Trailer
London Has Fallen
The Sony Hack & Leaks
MUSIC
Luchini by Camp Lo
House of the King by Focus
Head Over Heels by Tears For Fears
We Gotta Get Outta This Place by The Animals...OUR NEW 2015 CLOSING THEME SONG!
Check us out on Faceboo…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 34): SR Podcast - December 2014 Holiday Edition
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Ho-Ho-Holy Sh%t! It's December again and the boys at Simplistic Reviews has a show full of holiday cheer. They've got partridges...pear trees....dreidels...Santa letters/threats...Olaf the snowman from Frozen...black stormtroopers...Kevin Feige: Stand-Up Comedian...megalomaniac Mickey Mouse...holiday movie spoilers...all that and more on the 2014 Holiday Edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes:
Star Wars Trailer
Suicide Squad Casting
Spectre
Stand-Up Comedian from the 80s Fashion
Music Notes:
Christmas Is All Around Us By Billy Mack
My Flows is Tight By Lord Digga
Christmas Vacation By Mavis Staples
Christmas Time Is Here By The Vince Guaraldi Trio
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 33): Planes, Trains and Automobiles - Movie Commentary: November 2014
So it’s Thanksgiving when everyone is thankful. Here at Simplistic Reviews we’re thankful for some great films including some really crappy ones. But this time we decided today was the best to explore one the greatest films Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
Everyone come! Sit around the table. Pour a glass of whatever wets your whistle.
Grab your turkey and stuffing, and make sure you save some room for a SR Movie Commentary!
Today we explore the greatness that is John Hughes and touch up on our geography. We will laugh and shed a tear. We’ll talk about a fantastic soundtrack and do you have any room for some Bacon, some Kevin Bacon!?!?
Everyone sit around the fire and let’s listen to Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary of Planes, Trains and Automobiles!
Eh well maybe you shouldn’t listen to this SR Movie Commentary with the family at Thanksgiving…or should you? Only one way to find out right?
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Le…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 32): Halloween Edition 2014
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
On this Spooktacular Halloween edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys welcome back JD Duran from Insession Film. Other than further corrupting this classy professional podcaster...the boys talk about Marvel's HUGE announcements, DC's HUGE announcements, gush over The Flash, bitch more about Gotham, comment on the Boardwalk Empire finale, Walking Dead premiere, and consider NBC's Constantine. JD also gets to moderate our second ever draft, which this time involves the boys trying to make their best monster squad. It's a razor 'blade in the apple' sort of show that you don't want to miss.
SHOW NOTES
Insession Film
Cenobites
The Monster Squad
Marvel Film Slate
DC Film Slate
Age Of Ultron Teaser
Age Of Ultron Extended
Ever See Chinatown Motherf@%ker?!
Skinny Zach Galafanakis
Jason Biggs pissing on Chelsea Handler
MUSIC NOTES
"Nightmare On My Street" By DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
"Autumn Thunder" By Sam Spence
"My Flows I…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 31): SR Podcast - October 2014
As fall descends across the land, the Simplistic Reviews Podcast is the funk of 40,000 years. In this month's edition, the boys spring forward and fall back to poking fun at Shia LeBeouf's childhood proclivities, Urban Dictionary's more interesting entries, and Jeremy Renner's lackadaisical attitude toward his career. All while still having time to pay a little John Singleton penance.
As you might remember, Justin and Matt were unlucky enough to lose a game of Simply Quotable a couple of month's back and had to watch the 2001 hood classic, Baby Boy. To make a long story short, there is dick sniffing, Snoop Dogg shooting, and men-inside-giant-wombs talk.
The boys also tackle the news Bob Barker style in a new segment called Simplistic Showcase. There is big money, big prizes, and a variety of obscenities.
All of this, plus our take on Fox's Gotham, how Boardwalk Empire is doing so far, and soooooooo much more, on this month's Simplistic Reviews Podcast for October.
FOR MATUR…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 30): Die Hard: Movie Commentary - September 2014
DIE HARD
The gang is back with another Movie Commentary! After Lethal Weapon 2 what film could the gang follow with but the classic masterpiece known as, DIE HARD! That's right HANS! Take your shoes off and curl those toes on the carpet, we are going to start to blow some sh%t up! Get your Alan Rickman voice ready and hold on tight because one of the greatest action films with some of the most amazing deaths may also be one of the greatest Christmas films. That also means Ode to Joy will be playing in your ear for a solid week.
So lets get our kill on!
(Please note: Simplistic Reviews does not condone real killing, only in your imagination, we are all for that ;)
Show Notes:
Alan Rickman's Answering Machine
Let's order a pizza!
Bill Clay
Music Notes:
Die Hard Ode To Joy
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 29): SR Podcast - September 2014
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
The boys are back, and ready to slap you, your momma, and your whole family in the face, literally. I mean you've heard the things they say, having your family slapped would be the least of your worries.
This month the boys have a rapid fire edition of talk in the new segment "Can Your Dig It?" And they fantasize about what might be in the pockets of film characters in the newest game "Get Your Hand Out Of My Pocket."
Plus, since The Simplistic Reviews is world renown, the guys get visited by Kevin Feige, Guillermo del Toro and the incomparable Al Pacino. No really. Well...not really. But kinda really. That, Jessica Chastain hate, concern for Hayden Panettiere and what Keith David pulls out for air in this month's Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes:
Keith David not pulling it out for air
Toht from Raiders of the Lost Ark
Malcolm X
Can You Dig It!?
Preggo Hayden
Pacino in a Marvel Movie?
Matthew Nable as Ra's al Ghul
FF4 Pics?
Slaught…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 28): SR Podcast - July 2014
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
As Summer continues, the guys from Simplistic Reviews get a little hot under the collar. This month DJ and Matt rip into Kate Mara for her contempt of comic book films and their fans, while also paying their debts in a new segment where they FINALLY review the 2004 Ice Cube motorcycle classic "Torque."
The guys also go over what they took away from this year's San Diego Comic-Con and get their quote on with another addition of Simply Quotable with the stakes even higher this time around.
All this, and so much more, on this month's edition of the Simplistic Review Podcast.
Show Notes:
Kate Mara on FF4
Ultron's got no strings
Torque Trailer
Baby Boy Trailer
Slaughter Film Action Movie Time Machine
Music Notes:
Rockford Files Theme
20/20 Theme
Game of Thrones Theme Remix
Soy Bomb By Honest Bob and the Factory to Dealer Incentives
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 27): Lethal Weapon 2 - Movie Commentary July 2014
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Alright folks, it's time to dust off your flannel, feather your mullet and bust out the VCR again because it's time for another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We return to 1989 with another classic; "Lethal Weapon 2." The sequel to another classic,"Lethal Weapon," "Weapon 2" pretty much ups the ante over it's predecessor and exceeds and it some ways. This time around Riggs and Murtaugh are on the trail of a group of South Africans who are into some shady dealings, including a guy who might be David Warner.
Whereas "Weapon 1" was a pretty dark film, "Weapon 2" is a the perfect balance of humor, bombastic action, and gritty cop drama. With that said, sit back, strap yourself in (if you're into that type of thing) and get ready to yuck it up with three guys who make Jones, Mahoney, and Hooks look like legit cops with "Lethal Weapon 2."
Show Notes:
Riggs Might Go Nuts
Joel Silver Makes More Money Than You
Music Notes:
Lethal Weapon Opening
Check us…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 26): SR Podcast - June 2014
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
The end of June brings another edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. This month the boys discuss Batman's out of control property damage, play a game of Word Association, berate Chelsea Handler, swoon rather uncomfortably over Fargo, Godzilla's tail and Eva Green, then promote the Patrick Dempsey 80s classic Loverboy. Yes, we are using "classic" loosely. All that and more on a dog days of Summer edition of the Simplistic Review Podcast.
Show Notes:
Loverboy
DJ's Hidden Eli Wallach Reference
Mad Max Reboot
Pacific Rim 2 Announcement
Cloud Atlas Valleyspeak
Gary Oldman Apology
Jonah Hill Apology
Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon
The Best By Tina Turner
Across 110th Street By Bobby Womack
I Dream Of Jeanie Remix
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 25): June 2014 - Batman 89 Movie Commentary
It's June and it's Podcast time! But this one is special. Today we celebrate the 25th Anniversary of 1989's classic, Batman. So we decided to try something new, join us today as we give you a SR Movie Commentary! Our first commentary and very possibly not our last commentary ;)
So queue up those VCR's...hmmm wait sorry....DVD's, Blu-rays and this Podcast and have a blast to the past with us. You can watch our YouTube video, listen to the Podcast or stream the commentary with the full film on dropbox!
Click here for the Dropbox Video Stream
Show Notes:
Wait did Julie Kill someone?!
Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Batman: The Video Game Composer(s) Naoki Kodaka, Nobuyuki Hara
Batman OST by Prince
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, Pinterest and Grab the SR App
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 24): SR Podcast - May 2014
It's May, and wouldn't you know it, we're on time this time! The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is once again....ON TIME!
This month we recap all that was the month of May, with a special guest appearance from America's OTHER favorite black guy, the DC Fanboy himself, Neal DaSouza. The quartet discuss the hidden beauty behind Grace Jones in "View to a Kill", where Marvel is finally showing the chinks in their armor, and all take part in a rather "arousing" rendition of "Kill, F*ck, or Marry." We also get a little literary, literally, when the guys talk about which graphic novel, book, or comic book arc should be adapted for the big or small screen in this month's "Simply the Best."
All that and so much more in their May Edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Note: I realize that I switched between speaking in the first and third person, but that's just one of the benefits of being a little, how you say.......insane.
Show Notes:
Christopher Walken Freaking Out
May Day
The End o…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 23): Batman 75th Anniversary Special
In honor of The Dark Knight's 75th Anniversary, the Simplistic Reviews Podcast got the whole gang together to talk about the legacy of Batman. Now you're probably wondering...what makes that different from any other show? Ummmm...not much. Although, the boys do hold an NFL style Draft of Batman villains who they think could kill the Caped Crusader. Afterwards the draft grades are given out by a very special guest arbiter brought in to class up and beautify the proceedings...Matthew's very own lovely wife Nicole Stewart. No, she does not show any favoritism. Yes, their marriage nearly comes apart at the seams. No, Justin, DJ, and Neal don't try to help matters. The boys discuss Batfleck's new Batsuit and also pick out their own favorite versions of Batman and Joker on a very special Simply The Best segment.
Grab your cape, your cowl, your shark repellent, and your Bat credit card and enjoy the show!
Show Notes:
Bat Shark Repellant
Batman Scares Deadshot
Batfleck…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 22): SR Podcast April 2014 - Late Edition
On this late edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Matt, DJ, and Justin try to catch up on the month that was April. They take their turn ridiculing soon to be former LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling then debut a new game called Simply Lying. The losers of this game will have to watch and review the 2004 film Torque. Yeah, they'd have been better off fighting to the death. We do get a pretty decent Terrence Howard impersonation from Matthew out of it and learn some of the lesser known criminal activities of Samuel L. Jackson. That, reactions to Star Wars casting, Julie's descent into HYDRA and much much more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes:
DJ's Hidden Princess Bride Reference
X-Men Days Of Future Past
Donald Sterling
Hail Hydra
Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome
Torque
Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Liar Liar By The Castaways
Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon
The Best By Tina Turner
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Ch…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 21): SR Podcast - March 2014
Here's a drinking game. Take a shot every time the boys mention Michael Bay's new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. No, wait...you'll be dead in like 10 minutes. Okay, take a shot every time they insult Michael Bay's new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. No, no, you'll be dead in about the same amount of time. Neal DaSouza fills in for an ailing Matthew Stewart and helps discuss various members of the cinematic animal kingdom. From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, to Alvin And The Chipmunks, to something called Rastamouse. (And you thought anthropomorphic turtles was disturbing.) The boys also air more dirty laundry in their most embarrassing segment, Simply Ashamed, and each pick their favorite non-Marvel Studios Marvel movie. I got my fingers crossed for Howard The Duck. All that and more on the March edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 Trailer
X-Men: Days Of Future Past Trailer
Constantine Promotional Pi…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 20): SR Podcast - February 2014
In a desperate attempt the gain some respectability, The Simplistic Reviews Podcast has on special guest from Insession Film, JD Duran. But in only twenty minutes, the boys corrupt this once reputable man to the point where he is setting fire to the Academy Awards, secretly stalking Jennifer Lawrence, and verbally berating Will Smith. All in a days work for Matt, Justin and DJ. Enjoy this corrupting episode of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast....oh...and the boys conjure the ghosts of Orson Welles and Alfred Hitchcock...yeah...that happened.
Show Notes:
Unicron
Winter's Tale
Mission Impossible III
Almost Famous
Key & Peele Liam Neeson Commercial
True Detective Tracking Shot
Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
The Great Escape Theme By Elmer Bernstein
Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon
The Best By Tina Turner
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 19): SR Podcast - January 2014
Welcome to 2014! It might be a new year, but we can guarantee that the boys will still be as juvenile as ever. In the first full podcast of the year, the gang has some fun with words as Matt takes on "Word Association." From Shia LeBouf to the latest Warner Bros/DC calamity. No one is safe.
Neal also regales the gang with his adventures with rednecks at his local Monster Truck Show, and Justin mistakenly believes Shaquille O'Neal starred in "Hanging With Mr. Cooper."
This is just a taste of what you're getting into with this month's Simplistic Review Podcast.
Show Notes:
Most Anticipated Films of 2014
Hanging With Mr. Cooper
GraveDigger
Son-UVA Digger
Bobby Digital
Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
I Dream Of Jeanie (Remix)
Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 18): SR Podcast - Oscar Nomination Reaction Special
It's that time of the year again folks. You might think "Oh, the time of the year where you continue to embarrass yourself with your inept film talk?" Well, yeah, that too, but we're talking about The Academy Award Nominations sillies.
Join DJ, Justin, and Matt as they go over the nominations, share their disdain for the people who got nominated and their joy for those who got snubbed. It's sure to be a super-rad time on this special edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes:
Full List of Oscar Nominations 2014
Biggest Oscar Upsets
Worst Oscar Winners
Music Notes:
"All Gold Everything" By Trindad James
"Police Academy March" By Robert Folk
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 17): SR Podcast - Year End Wrap Up 2013
In the blink of an eye, 2013 is over and we look towards 2014 here on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. In this special edition of The Podcast, DJ, Justin, Matt, and Neal give their two-cents on the best and worst of the year in film and TV, and I'm sure a lot more.
Will "Grown Ups 2" stand alone as a worse mistake than Greedo shooting first, or will "White House Down" prove that Barack Obama is funnier than Jamie Foxx?
All of this and so much more on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. Happy New Year and see all you clowns in 2014.
Show Notes:
Best Films of 2013
Worst Films of 2013
Best TV of 2013
Music Notes:
"Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is" By Chicago
"Your The Best" By Joe Esposito
"Background Music" By Seeburg
"Auld Lang Syne" By Kenny G
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
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Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 16): SR Podcast - Decemeber 2013
'Tis the season to talk movies and TV...and R.Kelly..and...um... Jolene Blalock's disappearance...and Lara Flynn Boyle? I'm pretty sure that's not how the song goes.
An oddly optimistic Justin Polizzi makes his triumphant return and unveils his latest character impression. Neal DaSouza joins us again to talk some anime and take dictation. DJ is confused over the midseason finale of The Walking Dead and discovers he has some sort of Die Hard Tourette's Syndrome. Matt starts an all out war between people of the Jewish faith and jolly ol' Saint Nick in a new segment called Dear Santa. And a crippled little boy is able to walk again at the end. It's a Christmas Miracle! Sorry, that last bit I made up or partially stole from Charles Dickens. But I swear, the rest of that stuff does happen on the holiday edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
Show Notes:
Ellis From Die Hard
Police Academy
R.Kelly Cookie Song
Detective Quentin Lance
Akira
Jolene Blalock
Lara Flynn…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 15): SR Podcast - November 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November Edition
As Turkey Day draws to a close, the boys recap the month of November with Anime and Asian Cinema aficionado Neal DaSouza. They talk about black films, black Kermit The Frog, and Blacklist. Not necessarily in that order.
The boys also introduce an old game with a new twist. A game titled with the infamous anagram K.F.M. (Look it up on the interwebs kiddies). Remakes, Wolves of Wall Street, and Roadhouse throat rips. Gobble up all that and more, pilgrim, on the Thanksgiving edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. Yes, that was a pretty bad use of word play. So what? Sue me. Wait, don't sue me. I'm so incredibly poor.
Show Notes:
Kermit The Frog
Roadhouse
K.F.M. Game
The Blacklist
Sleepy Hollow
The Wolf Of Wall Street
Music:
"Birds And Brass" By Sort Of Soul
"Word Up" By Cameo
"Fame" By David Bowie
"The Best" By Tina Turner
"Little Less Conversation" - Elvis Presley
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Check us out…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 13): SR Podcast - October 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October Edition
The boys are back with another hard-hitting, face-melting, knee-slapping, balls-to-the-wall edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. October draws to a close with Halloween on their minds as they breakdown the best Horror Monsters/Villains/Demons of all-time.
The boys also vent their anger in another round of "Hey F%*khead" and no one is safe. Everyone from Julliane Hough to Michael Bay are ripped limb from limb for their stupidity and overall douchebaggery.
Add in some TV talk, Casper the Friendly Rapist, and a barn-full of shenanigans and you got a podcast worth downloading and listening to while you're running on the elliptical machine. Enjoy!
Show Notes:
Julianne Hough in Blackface
Chris Brown Still Beating People
History of Halloween
Scariest Horror Villains
Music:
"Birds And Brass" By Sort Of Soul
"Word Up" By Cameo
"The Great Escape" By Elmer Bernstein
"The Best" By Tina Turner
"Little Less Conversation" - E…
Oct 17, 2016
(Ep. 12): SR Podcast - September 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: September Edition
Yay! The rest of the months for the rest of the year end with -ber! You can tell we are easily excited over on Simplistic Reviews, especially this month of September.
As we reach the final quarter of 2013, and our one-year anniversary of podcasting to the Interwebs, we go all out this month, well, not really, but we have to do something to get you guys excited.
In this September edition of the Simplistic Reviews podcast we talk tons of Fall TV, the final episodes of "Breaking Bad," just how bad the remake of "Robocop" will be, the return of Simply Quotable, and our favorite sports films of all time.
All this, including a surprise cameo by Al Pacino as he gets all hot and bothered about the classic Amanda Bynes' TV show "What I Like About You." Who-Ahhhhh!!!!
Check out the show notes below for more fun stuff, and coming this week, The Simplistic Reviews List of things that we've learned from "Breaking Bad."
Show Notes:
Rob…
Oct 16, 2016
(Ep.11): SR Podcast - August 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: August Edition
Hello boils and ghouls. Okay, this isn't the Cryptkeeper, and it's nearly three months away from Halloween, but I couldn't help myself. But what I can offer you is The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for the month of August (and some of June and July, we had a lot to catch up on in this edition).
After an extended hiatus the boys are back (of course this is Matt speaking in the 3rd person) and maybe not better then ever, but at least their adequate. This month they jump into the "Ben Affleck as Batman" debate head first, share their shame in everyone's favorite segment, "Simply Ashamed," talk some "Breaking Bad," celebrate the filmography of Sinbad, and campaign for the best film coming this Fall.
Be sure to check the show notes below for more fun and hijinks.
Show Notes:
What Makes Breaking Bad so good?
SlaughterFilm
Cinema and Suds
Fall Movie Preview
Music:
"Birds And Brass" By Sort Of Soul
"Word Up" By Cameo
"Fame" By Dav…
Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 10): One Year Anniversary Extravaganza 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: One Year Anniversary Extravaganza
It's hard to believe that Simplistic Reviews has been around for one year. You would have thought that the FCC, Michael Bay, or some other Hollywood douchebag would have called in a favor and had the three of us involved in an unfortunate electrical or chemical accident. I guess they feared that if that happened we would genetically mutate and plan to conquer the world, or in the least just keep doing podcasts since their plans failed. Well, we're not genetically mutating anytime soon, but we are going to continue rocking the Interwebs with our colorful dialogue and point-of-views
On a serious note, we would like to thank everyone who reads our reviews, leaves comments, likes our Facebook page, re-tweets our tweets, and/or listens to our podcasts. As Simplistic Reviews enters our sophomore year we'll continue to either tear movies apart or heap unlimited amounts of praise upon them.
In this special podcast w…
Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 9): A Little More Conversation 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: A Little More Conversation
If you've been following our podcast since it's inception, you know we like to rant, rave, and go on intense tangents. Well this month we decided to take an entire unaired section of our May Podcast and turn it into a bonus edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
In this little nugget of joy we take on Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness and you get to hear Matt sink lower and lower into drunkenness. It's really a thing of beauty......and sadness. On top of that we also delve into Peter Weller's filmography and imagine if Robocop decided to police Hogwarts.
Show Notes:
Iron Man 3
Star Trek Into Darkness
Effects of Alcohol on Speech
Peter Weller
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest
Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 8): SR Podcast - May 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: May Edition
May.....June....who cares? It's another Simplistic Reviews Podcast posting in June, but they're talking about things in May. Yeah, that's just how these clowns roll.
From Philip Seymour Hoffman's smack habit to the benefits of drinking whiskey during a podcast (thanks Matt), we got you covered. Oh, and why HPV saved Michael Douglas' life.
The guys also unleash their newest segment "Hey Fu*khead" where they unload on people and things that are ruining the world and the sad lives of DJ, Justin, and Matt.
And for you TV-heads, our hosts take a look at the upcoming Fall TV schedule and break down what to see, what to watch with caution, and what to avoid like the plague.
Also, if you get tired of our site reading reviews, head over to SlaughterFilm.com, click on the link on their page, and get re-directed back to our site. Counter-productive? I think not, because Cory and Forest are doing the Devil's work over on SlaughterFilm.
*C…
Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 7): SR Podcast - April 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: April Edition
It's that time of the month again, take that as you may, but you won't need any tampons to listen to April's Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
In this month's edition we ponder who is more evil, Red Skull or Adolf Hitler, Sheri Moon Zombie's ass, and Justin tries to sell Matt on Mad Men, and the P-word gets thrown into the mix.
The guys also test their movie quote knowledge in the new segment, "Simply Quotable," and do a little Summer movie preview of their own with Iron Man already making waves.
If you like good wholesome family fun, well, find another podcast. If you like three guys talking out of their ass for over an hour, well, now you're on the right track with The Simplistic Reviews podcast.
Also, May 6th is National Nightmare Day, a Day to celebrate the 1984 horror classic "A Nightmare on Elm Street." Check over at SlaughterFilm.com for more information.
Show Notes:
Hannibal Review
Summer Movie Preview
The Benefit of Mad Me…
Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 6): SR Podcast - March 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast : March 2013
You might ask yourself, "Hey Simplistic Reviews! It's April, this isn't the March Podcast." Well, yeah, you're right......that's all I got. You got us listening public, this is the March Simplistic Reviews Podcast, posted in April.
We discuss everything from chocolate Easter bunnies to Peeps and even fit in some time to worship the Season Three Premiere of "Game of Thrones."
And while it seems like we have no shame (have you listened to any of our previous podcasts) we actually do, as we introduce a new segment, "Simply Ashamed" where we talk about crying, bestiality, and illegally recording "Ghost Rider," but not necessarily in that order.
So gather around the old iPod, or your Zune, bring grandma and enjoy the fun of The Simplistic Reviews March Podcast.
Show Notes
Sexy Cartoon Babes
Game of Thrones Love
Understanding Shame
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FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Check us out on Face…
Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 5): SR Podcast- February Late Edition 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast Late Edition: February 2013
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Like the old cliche; "better late than never" The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back, and we're just as cliched as we were back in January.
In this February edition we wax poetic on the failings of non-Marvel Studios films, pass judgement on Bruce Willis' latest John McClane adventure, "A Good Day To Die Hard," and rip Seth MacFarlane a new one.
Plus, this time Matt is in the hot seat with another edition of "Word Association." From Harrison Ford to breast milk, nothing is off limits to Matt's rage, while Justin and DJ have their feelings hurt by our cybernetic robo-babe, Julie.
All this and much more in our "late" February podcast, right here on Simplistic Reviews.
Show Notes
Boycotting Non-Marvel Comic Films
A "Good" Day to "Die Hard"
Why Seth MacFarlane Sucks
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Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 4): SR Podcast - Awards Edition
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: 2013 Oscars Special
In this very special edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast we break down the 2013 Academy Award, this Sunday, February 24th. Will "Argo" make The Academy rue the day they didn't nominate Ben Affleck for a best actor award for "Gigli?" Will another French Revolution occur with "Amour?" Will we ever get to see the SyFy Original movie, "Zero Dark Thirty-One: The Return of bin Laden?"
All of this and much, much more in our special Oscar edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast. Below are the categories we cover in the podcast, with our favorites BOLDED.
Best Animated Film: FRANKENWEENIE
PIRATES: BAND OF MISFITS
BRAVE
PARANORMAN
WRECK IT RALPH
Best Screenplay Adapted: CHRIS TERRIO-ARGO,
LUCY ALIBAR & BEN ZEITLIN-BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
DAVID MAGEE-LIFE OF PI,
TONY KUSHNER- LINCOLN
DAVID O. RUSSELL-SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK
Best Original Screenplay: MICHAEL HANEKE-AMOUR,
QUENTIN TARANTINO-DJANGO
JOHN GATINS-F…
Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 3): SR Podcast - January 2013
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: January 2013
Our first podcast of the year, and we'd like to thank all the fans and
readers for making 2012 a success for us. Right out of the gates we
discuss how J.J. Abrams will balance his responsibilities between "Star
Trek" and "Star Wars." We judge the HBO original series "Girls" in our
newest segment, "Open & Shut" where we channel our inner Jack McCoy
and Atticus Finch. And we debate what is the Biggest Bad-ass 80s Action
Film in "Simply the Best."
All of this, and much more, including a beer can with no manners, Bill
Murray getting hand jobs, and our longing for Saturday Morning Cartoons.
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Show Notes:
Matt's take on Girls
The Force is strong with Abrams
Great courtroom scenes
The best of 80s Action
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Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 2): SR Podcast - December 2012
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: December 2012
You've all been clamoring for it, well here it is. The Simplistic
Reviews Podcast for December 2012! In this sophomore edition we dig
into the holiday season with what made us happy in the cinema during
2012. From "The Dark Knight Rises" to the re-release of "Pulp Fiction"
we touch it all, and not in that inappropriate way....okay, just over
the pants, but give us a break.
We also give AMC, Nerds, "The Vow", and British -Voiced Nazis a hard time in our newest segment, "Sincerely."
All this and more on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for December 2012.
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
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Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 1): SR Podcast - November 2012
The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November 2012
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.
Welcome all to the inaugural Simplistic Reviews Podcast! This is
something that we had been planning for a while, and we finally got it
done. This edition we talk James Bond, namely, his newest adventure
"Skyfall," and remember some of his greatest villains and which James
Bond theme song speaks to us.
Not in that creepy way that your uncle used to when he was drunk during Thanksgiving.
We also talk TV, where DJ explains why "Arrow" is his newest guilty
pleasure, Justin talks about balls dropping, and why Jewish people
aren't allowed to watch "Mad Men," while Matt asks "Why is AMC so
stupid!"
We also wonder "What is it about Ghost Dad that gets our motors
revving?" And "What was Morgan Freeman really doing during his voice
over sessions on "March of the Penguins?"
All this and more on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for November 2012.
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Oct 16, 2016
(Ep. 14): SR Presents Indie Insider - "Stuck" Interview With Angela Palladino
Simplistic Reviews presents: Indie Insider - Stuck, Interview with Director Angela Palladino
In our first in a series of interviews we will be conducting during the production of the film "Stuck," Simplistic Reviews is happy to have Writer, Producer, and Director, Angela Palladino, on this Simplistic Reviews Podcast special, "Indie Insider." SR's own, Matthew Stewart, runs the gamut with Angela that stretches from her motivation to film "Stuck," who inspires her, and what it's like to film close to home.
Angela's Indiegogo Page
Main (Stuck) Website
(Stuck) on Indiegogo
(Stuck) on IMDB
(Stuck) on Facebook
(Stuck) Trailer
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