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I‘m going to die someday. So will you. Let‘s all do what we can and make key decisions now in order to be kinder to those we‘ll leave behind.
Apr 19, 2022
21: ”Asking for Help” vs ”Being a Burden”
After a lifetime of independence, it can be tough to age or get ill and start to need help. So many of us fear becoming a burden so we resist asking for help. But at what point will our independence become a problem? What's the difference between asking for help and being a burden?
Apr 5, 2022
20: What Goes Into A Living Will?
A discussion of the kinds of things that you could (and should) include in your living will, including examples that Cianna wrote into her own. Topics: Living Will, Advance Directive Mentioned: DyingKindness.com NOLO Press Book: The Art of Dying Well Book: A Beginner’s Guide to the End Dying Kindness Bookshop The Death Deck The Conversation Project Estate lawyer: Kathleen Hunt Book: Death Poems
Mar 22, 2022
19: Which Forms? When? Living Will, DNR, POLST, Advance Directive
Living Will. DNR. Advance Directive. POLST. You know these forms are important. But are they the same? Do you need all of them? What are they for? And when would you need them? Forms are location specific. Do an online search for "[where you live] and [name of form]" or ask your lawyer to get the right version for you. Recap of summary: * Everyone over the age of 18 should specify their wishes and designate a health care proxy, ideally with an Advance Directive or Living Will and Medical Power of Attorney * If you’re close to the end of life or frail and the risk of complications from resuscitation would not be worth it, that’s when you want a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order * If you’re close to the end of life and don’t want to artificially extend your life and you want to be sure that your wishes are honored (and it’s available in your area), get a Physician Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment (POLST)
Mar 1, 2022
18: Choosing Who Will Defend Your Wishes
Selecting the right Health Care Agent is a critical factor in ensuring that we get the kind of care we want when we're critically injured or nearing the end of our lives. Your agent will be responsible for implementing your Advance Healthcare Directive, and (even more) for understanding why you made the decisions you made so they can respond to unanticipated situations. How do you choose the right person? What, exactly, would you be asking them to do? Referenced: Review of studies on racial bias in pain perception in NCBI: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17187552/
Feb 23, 2022
17: On Wanting To Do What We Love As Long As Possible
Thinking about dying has me thinking about aging. And as I took my aging body on a hike, I decided maybe it's time to get used to using hiking poles—and this had me thinking about what we can do now so that we can keep what we love doing for longer.
Feb 15, 2022
16:Your Final Resting Place
Do you want to be buried near your parents? Want your children to scatter your ashes at your favorite beach? Would your family visit your memorial tree in a forest? What kinds of things do you need to take into consideration when you're choosing your final resting place? Bonus in this episode: An interview with Mike Szymanski, creator of the #DoxieTombstone in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
Feb 1, 2022
15: Final Disposition of Your Body
Burial or Cremation? That question is important, yes, and it's not the only thing that needs to be decided about what will happen with your body after you die. This episode covers some of the practical decisions that need to be made regarding final disposition.
Jan 18, 2022
14: Getting The Conversation Started
Sure, it's important to talk about death and what we want. But how do you even begin this conversation? What if you're ready to talk but someone else is resistant? And what do we even need to talk about? In this episode I interview Kate deBartolo from The Conversation Project, and Lisa Pahl and Lori LoCicero from The Death Deck. They share tools and personal stories that can help you get the conversation started, regardless of how comfortable (or uncomfortable) you and your loved ones are with the topic. https://theconversationproject.org/ https://thedeathdeck.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thedeathdeck/
Jan 4, 2022
13: What’s in a Death Binder?
Just what kinds of things would be useful to the people we'll leave behind when we die? What decisions need to be made? What goes into a "Death Binder"?
Dec 23, 2021
12: Lessons for Living and Dying Well
Presenting three books with good lessons learned from the dying on how to live (and die) well: * The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - Bronnie Ware * The Four Things That Matter Most - Ira Byock * When Breath Becomes Air - Paul Kalanithi Related links: Bronnie Ware’s blog post that started it all: https://bronnieware.com/blog/regrets-of-the-dying/ Link to Ira Byock's book page: https://irabyock.org/books/the-four-things-that-matter-most/ Lucy Kalanithi speaks at TEDMED https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_kalanithi_what_makes_life_worth_living_in_the_face_of_death
Dec 7, 2021
11: From Death Phobic to Death Doula
Karen Reppen describes herself as being once "the most death phobic person on the planet." Now she's on the board of the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) and an advocate for death education. In this interview, she shares what she learned on her journey to overcome her fear of death, what an end-of-life doula does, and thoughts on NEDA's role in the death positivity movement.
Nov 23, 2021
10: Holidays Can Be Complicated
Logistics are not the only things that complicate death. The holidays can be an emotional time. Here are five ways to help take care of the emotional side of the impact your death will have on those you love.
Nov 9, 2021
9: What is a Good Death?
We often refer to the idea of a "good death" without really digging in to what that means for us. But being clear about it is critical when it comes to completing an Advance Care Directive.
Oct 27, 2021
Samhain. Halloween. All Saints Day. All Souls Day. Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead). All of these holidays are about the connection between the living and the dead. And they all present the dead in different ways. Taking a look at these differences can be a fun way to think about where we get our concepts about death and how our loved ones might relate to us after we die.
Oct 12, 2021
7: An Estate Lawyer Teaches Me Things
Have questions about estate planning? Listen in on my first conversation with an estate lawyer, Kathleen Hunt. I ask basic questions and learn so much!
Sep 14, 2021
6: Ashes to Ashes... and More
What can be done with cremated remains? So many things!
Sep 7, 2021
5: Hospice - Edwina Moldover Interview
"Hospice is not giving up." Retired hospice nurse Edwina Moldover clears up misconceptions about hospice and says that the biggest mistake we make is not accessing hospice earlier.
Aug 19, 2021
4: The Value of Physical Stuff
When we die, we'll leave behind a lot of physical stuff. How should we think about the value of that stuff? And how can we make it easier for our loved ones to distribute it after we're gone?
Jul 15, 2021
3: After the First Days - The Will
What can a Will convey - and when is it not enough? Discussed in this episode: * Wills * Estate Planning with a lawyer * Time and costs of Probate Court * Thresholds for automatic Probate * Beneficiary Designations Interview w/ Miguel Torres, MilesTorresLaw.com Poem: New Orleans Limbo by Andrei Codrescu from Death Poems, ed. Russ Kick
Jul 1, 2021
2: In the First Days of Your Death
Notes on what decisions will need to be made by your loved ones in the first few days after your death. In this episode: * Final disposition * Finances * Obituary * Social media
Jul 1, 2021
1: Urgent Needs in the First Hours
If you were to get into an accident, what would your loved ones need to know right away? This episode introduces Dying Kindness, and walks through some practical notes on what you should have prepared for the first few hours of your possible incapacity or death. In this episode: * Emergency contact * Need-to-know list * Health Care Directive * Dependents * Organ donation * Death Certificate * Where to take your body