Let’s Unmask Mental Illness
Christopher Gajewski
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I explore the world of depression and other mental health issues through a personal and authentic approach, my world.You are welcome to join me on my journey. I’ll explore depression, PTSD, suicide, mental health awareness and other issues that people may find it hard to talk about.
Available episodes
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Mar 21, 2023
Episode 31: The Illusion of Absence
Why do people stay in bad relationships? I dive into myself, and into some songs, to look for possible answers.
Bad relationships is a spectrum, not a black or white thing. They can abusive marriages, empty marriages, unhealthy workplaces, or even something as mundane as my continued following of the University of Miami football program. I remember better times.
There is something about comfortableness, something about the fear of the unknown, something about being seen.
Rob Thomas helps with this one. Anybody know how I can get in touch with him? Anyway...
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Mar 13, 2023
Episode 30: A Momentary Lapse of Balance
Like LL Cool J sang: Don't call it a comeback!
It was difficult making my way back to the podcast, creating an original one, but I am there now. I'm still not at my best, still not really mentally settled, but this was necessary.
So, you are welcome to follow me as I skip along the yellow cobblestone street in Philly, "Lions and tigers and bears oh my!" And then stumbling because some asshole stole the friggin' cobblestone street. Somebody really did that. He stole a few blocks of it, in broad daylight, before he got caught.
It's a Philly thing?
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Jan 24, 2023
Episode 29: Let’s Have a Chat
This is a rebroadcast of Episode 17, with a special introduction.
I'm back in Philly, back home, and answering many of the same questions. I don't mind talking about it but it may help if you read the damn book. Or listen to the podcast.
I'll get back into new episodes next week
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Jan 16, 2023
Episode 28: Rectifying a Disservice Done to Those with Bipolar Disorder
This is a repeat of Episode 5 with a special introduction.
I'm a mess right now, traveling cross country. I had started a new episode but it did not get done. While driving, though, and thoughts tugging at me, I realized I wanted to repost Episode 5, The Mental Health Triangle with the special introduction.
As I evolve, the podcast evolves. Episodes 5 and 17 come up the most in my thoughts and new scripts, so with everything going on, I thought I would get them reposted as I travel and then get set up somewhere.
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Jan 7, 2023
Episode 27: The Problem with Absolutes
My last podcast had me thinking about things, breaking down the subtle signs of depression. A column that I just wrote, "Lessons Learned from a Bar Fight," was a mixture of the podcast and reactions to posts I am seeing. That led me to Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting.
All that led to this podcast. It is about something I have been saying for years in various forums and various lectures on many different topics. "Don't screw up like I did."
Learn from my mistakes. Please. If you do, it makes my mistakes more bearable, gives them purpose. I wish I had learned more from other's mistakes but that has not been my way.
From posts I am seeing, I imagine that many people were disappointed by other people in 2022. I am reading a knee jerk reaction, about how if we don't have expectations, we will never be disappointed. All of the memes and posts are making me facepalm. Often.
Umm, no. Don't do that. It is all about a bar fight in SW Philly.
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Jan 2, 2023
Episode 26: Breaking Down Reactions
I delve deeper into some columns that I wrote this past week to try and untangle depression from my life.
Dedicated Regina and Vivian, the first who asked the question that set me on the path to the answer and the second who provided a billboard to the answer.
I use Writer's Block as an example. I realized that my life had unknowingly become writer's block and show how the depression infiltrated every facet of my life. I know now and can begin the path to healing.
Freedom is still a journey ahead of me, healing, but I am taking the steps I need to take.
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Dec 27, 2022
Episode 25: The Non-Episode Episode, In Three Parts
This wasn't supposed to be an episode but it became one. I do tend to ramble.
I discuss the book that is now available at your favorite bookseller, a name change to the podcast, support for the podcast, my first column for the website and my first article for the website.
I am doing what I meant to do in 1997 but got sidetracked by the depression among other things.
Better late than never.
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Dec 22, 2022
Episode 24: Understanding Depression and Suicide
In my last episode, The Space Between Breaths, I mentioned tWitch, but I stayed away from the topic. What can I add to the conversation? As I say in my podcast, I am not a mental health care professional with letters at the end of my name. I am just a guy who has been there. What the hell do I know?
An article/post got me typing. It featured a smiling picture of tWitch and was, "I Still Don't Think We Understand Depression."
I read the questions and advice the post posed and realized that I do have something to add, that I may even be able to make an impact. No, I am not a mental health professional, but I am a guy who has been there. I understand what I do know about depression and suicide, and I understand what I don't know about them. Most importantly, I am learning what I need to know.
Who am I? I'm Chris, nice to meet you. Have you checked out my podcast? A lot of the answers are here if you care to check it out. I suffer from depression, among other things, and have almost taken my life twice. I was a leader and educator in my industry for 35 years. I am a storyteller/journalist, and I have answered many questions in the first 23 episodes of my podcast from a personal point of view, with what others are saying is insightful.
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Dec 20, 2022
Episode 23: The Space Betwen Breaths
I wasn't planning on doing another episode this year as I was supposed to be on my way to or settling in Rochester, Minnesota, but I am still stranded in Tijuana. As I was sitting here, waiting, a title popped into my mind. Things typically start with that. Things are a bit scattered with everything packed, but I'm going to try and plow my way through and maybe make some sense.
The space between breaths brought a memory of a stupid little kid. Everybody told me I couldn't breathe under water, but how do you know if you don't try?
We really don't know anything until we try. Until we start talking. Until we start listening. Until we understand. A lot of the time, and the most difficult thing I think, is knowing what we don't know.
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Dec 13, 2022
Episode 22: Are We Okay?
I wasn't okay and did not even realize it. The caricatures of PTSD, Major Depression and trauma are easy to spot, but what about the subtleties, the hints and allegations? I am only learning them now. I'm realizing that it was never a matter of "if" another depressive episode would hit but "when."
Education can be painful at times. Sort of like hearing the whistling of that paddle coming to my backside in grade school, but it is coming at my head.
The Real Depression Project was suggested to me and I started following them. If are struggling, know someone who is off, or even if you just feel like something is "off," I highly recommend following them.
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Nov 29, 2022
Episode 21: The Holiday Special
The holidays, starting with Thanksgiving, present a difficult time for people who are struggling. They present me with a difficult time. I look forward to January 2nd, when everything returns to normal.
I rejoice in your joy and happiness. Newton's Third Law comes into play though, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
I'm okay. I really am fine. But I hate the holidays. It is not so much as a "Bah humbug" kind of thing as much as it is a "I have no friggin' idea how to process this so give me my time and space as I work through it. It may take a few...decades."
This is my journey through the holidays, from Thanksgiving to January 2nd.
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Nov 22, 2022
Episode 20: Stumbling in Darkness
I had to battle through the depression to do this episode. Instead of succumbing to it, I dissected it. The depression twisted questions exhaust me, as well as the equally twisted answers. But then a few things happened right before I recorded it that really screwed it up. It taught me about patience and hope.
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Nov 15, 2022
Episode 19: The Wall?
The wall of depression is something I have been coming to all my life and saying, "what the hell is wrong with me?" I know what is beyond the wall: my true self and also, possibly, my destruction. In the podcast, I explore the wall. In this episode, I explore setting up camp at the wall.
This is not my best effort. I am male and have the flu: hear me whine? But it is apt for the episode. It works in its own way. You do the best that the can, and, sometimes, the best that you can is simply going to bed. And that's okay.
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Nov 8, 2022
Episode 18: Finding a Way Home
In this episode, I go way back in time to meet that scrawny kid with a bad haircut again. The first meeting did not go so well. This one went better.
He is a child of trauma. Adultification? I don't know.
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Nov 1, 2022
Episode 17: The Tangled Path to Communication
This one got complicated. I started writing the script and fell down a rabbit hole. I followed the paths presented to me.
They led me to Jake and Elwood Blues, Pink Floyd, my Coci Carol and Deborah Tannin. I just went with it because I think they were bringing me to something important.
Ultimately, they brought me to some insights into communication.
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Oct 25, 2022
Episode 16: The Not So Comedy Routine
My Story
This episode evolved. Into a movie. A few things came together, conversations with family members, a movie I watched, slivers of information and realizations.
A common hashtag I use is #keeptalking. I started to use #startlistening.
It got away from me a little bit but this is my story of the where I was, where I am, where I hope to be and the full story of how the podcast came about. Instead of getting naked about mental health, I simply got naked. Metaphorically!
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Oct 18, 2022
Episode 15: Anatomy of a Slide
It happened and I did not even realize it: I was sinking into the depression again. It is difficult to recognize it. A friend's email gave me the kick I needed to recognize it and begin to climb my way out.
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Oct 11, 2022
Episode 14: Blind Sqirrels, Shiny Things and Boundaries
For World Mental Health Awareness Day (a day late). What is chronic depression? I think I found a way to explain it. Then I dive into addiction, a Rat Park and boundaries.
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Oct 4, 2022
Episode 13: Make a Right at Philly
I was triggered by a post I saw on LinkedIn about an advertisement for teletherapy.
The journalist in me understood her point of view; the SW Philly boy in me read "Let them eat cake."
I responded.
"Let them eat cake," wrongly attributed to Marie Antoinette, "...is taken to reflect a princess's frivolous disregard for the starving peasants or her poor understanding of their plight."
I dive into her post, my response, and things we can do, that I did, to help ourselves.
#mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #letstalkdepression #selfcare #teletherapy
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Sep 27, 2022
Episode 12: Something About Hope
The final episode in support of Suicide Awareness Month. Moving beyond depression into something new: hope. I wonder where the hell it came from.
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Sep 20, 2022
Episode 11: Why is Water Wet
Let's Get Naked About Mental Health!
In this episode, I'll be continuing with the "Suicide Awareness Month" theme. I've gone to one extreme where I almost committed suicide, took everybody to the other side of suicide, those left behind, and now I want to discuss the gentler side of suicide. Yes, there is a gentler side. Michelangelo will also be making another cameo appearance.
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Sep 13, 2022
Episode 10: From the Other Side of the Doorstep
Continuing with the theme of Suicide Awareness Month, let's take a look at the other side of things. Those left behind. I've been asked a lot about it when I began opening up about it. I scripted this one but did do a free form one. Might post that later. Bottom line: if someone you know has committed suicide or attempted it, talk to a professional.
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Sep 7, 2022
Episode 9: I’m Okay, Just Fine
For Suicide Awareness Month
It was fitting. September is Suicide Prevention Month. At the beginning of the month, I got triggered and the suicidal thoughts came back. Not the hornets, but the gnats on a summer evening. I got triggered. Actually, I threw the door open wide and invited the depression back in. It rushed in and made a cup of coffee.
I struggled making this episode. Of course, I'm struggling putting on pants. Hence the lateness. But I did the best I could.
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Aug 30, 2022
Episode 8: Broken Things Revisited
A chance encounter on LinkedIn led me to revising my view on a lot of things. Now I need a new title for my second book. Any help? I'll also be talking about pearls, authentic selves, and Michelangelo has a cameo. --no, the picture is not Mike. It's Rodin. But it's the best I could find without breaking copyright laws.
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Aug 23, 2022
Episode 7: The Crazy Therapist
The craziest advice that I ever received in therapy, that worked. The flip side of anger, the other flip side, and there is something about mirrors. Probably too much about Philadelphia.
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Aug 16, 2022
Episode 6: Triggers, Stuttering and Coping
In this episode, I'll be discussing triggers, a particular incident, and how my mental health journey had many parallels to my journey as a person who stutters. I wish I had learned a few lessons from myself but that is not my way. I typically see the writing on the wall but ...oh look, a shiny thing!
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Aug 9, 2022
Episode 5: The Mental Health Triangle
I explore an idea I had based upon the production triangle and applied to mental health. It offers insights into my personal journey, and where I screwed up. The three sides of the triangle are psychiatry (meds), psychology (therapy) and self-help. TMI? Yeah, but that's what the podcast is all about.
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Aug 2, 2022
Episode 4: Deper into Aloha
In this episode, I'll be stepping back in time to the start of the pandemic to discuss aloha, a state of being and the warped perception of memory & time that depression brings.
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Jul 29, 2022
Episode 3: A Lie of Omission
So many people live in fear of revealing their depression. I did. I don't know what the answer is but a step towards it is to start talking and keep talking.
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Jul 25, 2022
Episode 2: Into the Deep
Time to strip down out of my protective shell and be authentic again about my mental health journey. In this episode, I explore communicating about clinical depression, how it can be misunderstood--even by ourselves, and dive into the deep to begin a journey first started a few years ago.
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Jul 22, 2022
Episode 1: Into the Pit
Welcome to my first podcast! The inspiration for launching this podcast came from another podcast where I was a guest to discuss my new book. Leo Flowers, host of "Before You Kill Yourself," knew the secret behind the book and jumped right into it. You can find that interview on the link below.
https://art19.com/shows/before-you-kill-yourself/episodes/3c4f7a9a-c8eb-470b-9dbe-313f7934d30b
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