#112 How To Survive The Holiday Season As A Single Person with Martha Bodyfelt
23 min

As the holiday season is fast approaching anyone who experiencing a breakup, separation or a divorce are possibly dreading this time of the year. Martha offers some practical tips and ideas to get you through not only the holiday season but also any other time of the year that can bring an uprising of emotions. This advice will help you to not only handle your reactions but help in your recovery.

Martha’s own marriage ended at the beginning of the holiday season. The hardest part of the breakup was that her ex-husband was not moving out of their apartment for some time. They had decided they would be civil and kind to each other and try and do Christmas as a coupe. This was the worst Christmas, as they were trying to work through the sadness and heartbreak, when this time of the year was supposed to be full of happiness, family and joy.

For a couple of Christmas after that Martha stayed in her apartment, as this time bought back all the feelings of pain of the ending of the marriage. Finding a good support system in the form of a therapist helped Martha. It was draining trying to project this image of the perfect wife, the perfect marriage. When she finally was honest with her self and became vulnerable and started telling friends, co-workers and family and not bottling all her emotions up inside of her she began the healing process.

Martha started to do things that she felt she couldn’t do when she was in the marriage, She travel to the places she wanted go to and started some of her own traditions. It took a few Christmas to get into the swing of things and the number one thing she had to do was to learn how to manage her expectations at this time of the year.

So often when relationships end and it comes to the holidays you can be down on yourself, saying things like why can’t I be happy, why can’t I have this togetherness, why can’t I have the perfect holiday. But if you take a step back and realise that maybe things are going to be a bit more subdued for a while and that’s ok. It’s a matter of having things that are simple and things that you love, if you expect that things are going to be small and simple, then your not going to be disappointed.

Martha believes you also have to be careful of your selective memories. Often at this time of the year you can cherry pick all the good and amazing things that happened when you were with your partner during the holiday season. You forget the rest of the story, some of the things that weren’t that good. So often you like to paint the picture that when you were with your partner everything was great and it probably wasn’t, so you have to be honest with yourself and don’t compare yourself and what is happening now with past experiences.

During this holiday season put yourself first for a change, do what you want, forget the expectations and traditions that have previously been part of your life. Now is the time to create your own traditions and do what you like and take care of yourself. This is an opportunity to change your outlook into more of a positive one. Instead of seeing this holiday season as a sad and traumatic time you have now been given this gift for you find out what you want to do and how you want to celebrate it. 

When you are in a relationship you tend to do things as a unit, what is good for the unit, what’s good for your partner, what’s good for the couple. But you have to be careful that you don’t loose yourself and identify when you are in a relationship. When you get out of a relationship you often don’t remember how to putt your self first and find what interests you. Self-care is so important to the recovery process and doing these things that make you happy don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. 

In life we have to have a balance with everything and the holidays are no different. If you find that the holidays are triggering things for you and the holidays are making it difficult for you to function and you feel that you are getting stuck. Martha encourages you to work with a therapist or join a divorce support group or single support group, that you can lean on and help you through this difficult process after your breakup.

There can be many days that will trigger your memories such as your wedding day. Martha offered a way to get through this particular day by thinking of something that happened during that day that you liked a good memory and incorporate that into that day each year. For Martha the good memory of her wedding day was the Greek restaurant that they went to and each year on her anniversary Martha either cooks herself an amazing Greek meal or goes out to a Greek restaurant. So now her anniversary is no longer a day where she mourns the ending of her marriage but a day where she gets to eat amazing Greek food.

You can connect with Martha @ survivingyoursplit.com and when you sign up for her newsletter you will get the Ultimate Divorce Goddess Recovery Guide.

You Turn Podcast w/ Ashley Stahl
You Turn Podcast w/ Ashley Stahl
Ashley Stahl
[MINDSET] Ep. 147 Black Lives Matter: Let’s Get Educated
Where does racism show up in your life? In this special episode, Ash talks with four separate leaders on the Black Lives Matter movement. This episode is packed with powerful insight, thought-provoking conversations, and a deep look at where you sit within this vital movement to bring equality and peace to the planet. In modern culture and society, racism takes on many different forms. Listen in to this episode to learn the 4 myths you may be buying into about racism and how your attachment style impacts the way you handle racism. Ash talks with these guests about black history, myths on racism, the role of narcissism in racism, and the impact of the civil justice system on black lives. Want to be color brave? This episode’s final guest opens the doors on how to remove diversity and inclusion barriers in your workplace and in your life. Racism may be more present in your life more than you originally considered. This episode’s guest will open your eyes to understand what causes racism, where it stems from, and how you can make changes in your life to be a positive light with all people. In This Episode, You Will Learn: * The top 4 myths on racism you could be buying into. * How to look at your own bias to dismantle racism. * 7 racist defense mechanisms you may be using. * How narcissism plays a role in racism. * What it looks like to be racist in today’s culture and society. * The way to navigate social media with bias and intolerance. Where You Can Find the Guests: Christina Blacken The New Quo @ChristinaBlacken April Harter https://www.narcissismrecoverycenter.com/ @aprildawnharterlcsw Brenda Stevenson https://www.drbrendastevenson.com/ Janet Stovall Watch her TED talk here https://www.linkedin.com/in/janetmariestovall/ Promotion: Craving structure and a morning routine that starts your day off right? Add a scoop of vanilla protein into the mix! Visit organifi.com/youturn to get 15% off at check out!
3 hr 32 min
Relationship Alive!
Relationship Alive!
Neil Sattin
242: Using Creativity for Emotional Alchemy - plus a song!
When emotions are stuck within you - how can you use your creativity to get things moving? Sometimes the muse within you is a quiet whisper - other times screaming for your attention. Today we'll talk about how to find the voice - and what to do once you have. And, towards the end, I'll share a song with you that arrived after recording my last episode, on the process of going through a breakup and grieving. (song is at 19:20) As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you. Resources: Check out my Secrets of Relationship Communication COURSE for a masterclass in how to improve the communication and connection in your relationship. I want to know you better! Take the quick, anonymous, Relationship Alive survey FREE Guide to Neil’s Top 3 Relationship Communication Secrets Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner’s Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) Support the podcast (or text “SUPPORT” to 33444) Amazing intro and outro music provided courtesy of The Railsplitters Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. Today's episode is going to be a little bit different. I have a few things to share with you about how to use creativity as a way to help move through emotions, and it's something that's really served me well in the past and continues to serve me well, as you'll see momentarily, because after we talk about this topic I am going to share a song with you, a song that that just emerged this past week Neil Sattin: Okay, so let's dive into the topic at hand, which is creativity and giving yourself permission to have a voice and to use your voice in ways that can help mobilize especially challenging emotions and bring them to the surface, express them in ways that are productive and maybe even move on or transmute those emotions along the way. Neil Sattin: Now, the emotional content of our lives can sometimes be quite raw, and whether it's something that we ultimately want to address with another person or not, it can be helpful to spend some time with the content in order to get a different look at it, get a different perspective, allow it to move within you and also to give you more information. I believe that our emotions are there as signals to help us understand how we are processing the world around us, and so they live in us, but they're not meant to just be stuck there. Neil Sattin: And sometimes when an emotion is just there over and over and over and over again, it's there because it requires something of us, maybe it requires a change in our lives, or maybe it's just a voice in you that needs to be heard. Now, I'll tell you that over the years, creative expression for me has been a huge way to help me deal with the things that are going on my life, and sometimes those things are happy, joyous things, and I want to find ways to celebrate even more, and sometimes those things have been painful and hard to understand, and being creative has given me the opportunity to work with those feelings to understand some of the deeper things that are going on within me that are at play, some of the different thoughts, the different inner voices that are speaking. Neil Sattin: And giving yourself the opportunity to do that can be an immensely freeing and transformative thing. And there are any number of ways to do that, you can create something that's just for you, you can create something that you share with people who you trust and who care about you, you can create something and share it with the world, or you can create something and burn it, or forget about it, because the act of creation in and of itself is alchemy, it allows you to work with what you're experiencing and in a way to move it outside of you. Interested in reading the transcript for the rest of this episode? Click here to download the full transcript of this episode!
23 min
EXPANDED Podcast with Lacy Phillips
EXPANDED Podcast with Lacy Phillips
Lacy Phillips
Ep. 122 - EXPLAINED Neural Manifestation
Welcome to an extra exciting episode of EXPLAINED, where Jessica and Dr. Tara join Lacy to discuss TBM's unique manifestation process: Neural Manifestation! This process is backed by neuroscience, psychology, epigenetics, and energetics with a little spirituality sprinkled on top, and we’re beyond thrilled to share the new work with the community. In this episode, we're announcing our workshop and Pathway updates that are now live, as well as exclusive early access to our Black Friday sale for podcast listeners only! These updates have been in the works for quite some time and we're so excited for you to dig in! Happy manifesting! Find the Complete Show Notes Here -> https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast In This Episode We Talk About: * New updates and workshops added to The Pathway * Numbing and the science behind it * Other types of Manifestation and spiritual bypass * Manifesting from your soul vs ego desires * Why it is so important to do the inner work * Defining Neural Manifestation - TBM’s new branch of Manifestation * Changing the emotions connected to your memories through reprogramming * Affirmations vs Reinforcing * How our brain tries to protect us by bringing up survival emotions * Subconscious self-worth = true law of attraction * Why you shouldn’t always be positive, you need to feel your feelings * How your surroundings reinforce your beliefsBlack Friday Sale! Now through December 3rd at Midnight PST, we are offering The Pathway Membership for $20/ per month for a new 12-month commitment ($240 total purchase) or select a La Carte workshops for 50% off. Use the code BLACKFRIDAY20 at check out & be sure to click "Apply" before enrolling. Full details & discount code restrictions in the link. See full terms of use prior to purchasing any TBM product.Resources: * The Pathway 2.0 Looking To Start Your Membership? Now through December 3rd at Midnight PST we are offering the following deals on The Pathway Membership & select a La Carte workshops. Take advantage with the code BLACKFRIDAY20. * A la Carte Workshops 2.0 * Newsletter In The Episode * Shut Up I’m Manifesting Article * Girl Crying and Laughing Video * Find All Workshops inside The Pathway 2.0 - Now through December 3rd at Midnight PST we are offering the following deals on The Pathway Membership & select a La Carte workshops. Take advantage with the code BLACKFRIDAY20. All updates are now available inside The Pathway. * Updated How To Manifest * Updated Unblocked Inner Child * Updated Unblocked Shadow * NEW The Daily Practice * NEW Unblocked Boundaries * Numbing Roadmap * Reinforcing Journal Prompts Where to Find Us! * @ToBeMagnetic * @JessicaAshleyGill Submit * Submit to Be a Guest on Everyday Energetics * Submit to Be a Process Guest * Leave a Review 5 star review for a chance to win a 1-year membership to The Pathway 2.0. Then tune into future episodes to hear your review announced! If you win send us a message on Intercom to claim it.
1 hr 11 min
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