Ep 66 What Makes Love Last
15 min

Watch or listen to Brad's TEDx talk called What Makes Love Last here: https://youtu.be/gjLuX8ph3_w

Marriage Helper Live
Marriage Helper Live
Marriage Helper
How to Get My Spouse to Forgive Me - Dr. Joe Beam
You accept responsibility for what you did. You're sorry that you hurt your spouse. You want to put things back together. Not just like it was before but better.  The hurt you see in their eyes hurts you. At times their pain explodes in anger. Sometimes toward you; sometimes toward other things.  You asked your spouse to forgive you. You told them how sorry you are that it happened. Yet your mate isn't reacting as you had hoped. Maybe they said that they can't forgive what you did. Maybe they haven't made a decision but their actions lead you to believe that when they do it isn't going to be good. Is there something you can do? Are there magic words? Actions? Will you have to live like this for years to come? Or are you already thinking that if they can't forgive, you can't stay because the pain you feel is too great? You don't want to live with a person in perpetual misery. Or everlasting anger. You accept that there are consequences to what you did but you don't feel that you can stay in the marriage only to be punished day after day. If you want your spouse to forgive you and move past where you are now, in this program Dr. Joe Beam explains what to do and what NOT to do. Dr. Beam also takes live calls about other relationship issues or advice you wish to ask about. This program begins at 12:30 p.m. Central Time on Monday, August 3, here on BlogTalkRadio. You can also find it live (as well as recorded previous programs and hundreds more marriage and relationship videos) at YouTube.com/MarriageHelper. Call the program live at 657-383-0812. When you hear an answer, press 1 to be put in the queue to speak with Dr. Beam.  Be sure to check out more videos, audios, articles, and other resources for relationships at www.MarriageHelper.com.
1 hr 31 min
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?
There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrating and lead to conflict in the marriage. We’ve talked about the abusive kind of control before, so if you want to learn more about that kind of control feel free to go back to our previous episodes of the podcast to learn more about what that looks like.  Today, we’re talking about the annoying kind of controlling. This is not so much about the spouse’s power and dominance as the controlling spouse’s worry, fear, anxiety, and maybe even mental health issues that are driving this behavior. And sometimes the non-controlling spouse may also be acting in ways that prompt this behavior. If you’re listening to this to try to figure out your spouse, you may ask yourself what your role might be and how might you help your spouse feel less of a need to be in control. Where Control Issues Come From 1. Fear Control issues are often rooted in fear. This is the first place to look. If you’re afraid and you want to make it safer, you’re going to want to control the variables. This is quite a common response to fear. Fear can come from a number of different places. One place fear can come from is trauma. When something very frightening or overwhelming happens, it may cause a person to install certain requirements or demands in order to preserve safety. For example, you’ve been in a late night car accident, and you now want to control all of the family travel so that there’s no late-night travel going on and no one is allowed to go out after dark. So now you’ve become “controlling.” You’ve installed requirements or demands on others in order to preserve your sense of safety and well-being, to stop the horror from repeating itself. Another source of control is abandonment (fear of being left alone). If you were left alone at some point as a child or at a point in your marriage, that may result in the kind of controlling behavior where you don’t let your spouse do things on their own or do certain things on their own. You always have to be there, or you always have to do things together. 2. Betrayal Betrayal may also lead to controlling relationships with certain kinds of people in order to prevent re-betrayal. For example, if in your first marriage you were sexually betrayed by your spouse, in your second marriage you may marry a faithful person, but you exert control on them to make sure that that previous betrayal doesn’t re-occur, much to the frustration of your current spouse. That can get difficult because it can cause such distress in your marriage that there’s an emotional separation, or drifting apart that occurs between you. Thus, controlling behavior can lead to further dysfunction.  In another scenario, if you’re a late teenager and you saw your father gamble away your family’s savings and eventually lose the home, job, etc., that’s a major financial betrayal. And later in life when you are a mom you may think you’re a super budgeter, but there’s actually a ton of control over where every penny goes. So, in this situation if the husband buys a chocolate bar and the wife gets upset and he may get frustrated and say “can I not even buy a chocolate bar without asking your permission?” This is clearly a higher level of control than just a healthy budgeting habit. 3. Mental Health Issues Now that we’ve talked about a few fear-related causes of control, we’re going to move on to look at mental health. Some mental health issues can cause controlling behavior. Take personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Someone with BPD may say if you leave, I’ll hurt myself, or I might not be ok somehow (there’s a clinging aspect of BPD that does relate to fear of abandonment, but it is also a mental health condition and the fear piece is a part of...
23 min
Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Narcissistic Folks: Unable Or Unwilling To Empathize?
Lack of empathy in one partner creates a deficit that the other partner cannot fill...no matter how hard one tries! Learn more about the differences in functioning, and the decisions #Hijackals and other narcissistic people make about demonstrating empathy. Eye-opening!  Empathy is the ability to identify what someone is thinking or feeling, and then to be able to respond to THEIR thoughts and feelings with an appropriate response. Can the person you have in mind do this? When do they do this? What's up when they do this? #Hijackals are notoriously self-focused and self-referential. Everything revolves around them in a world that works for them, right? How they express, use, and manipulate by the use of empathy, or empathy like, patterns is important to recognize. I think it will be clear after you listen to this episode. Big hugs! Rhoberta HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: * Do narcissistic people like #Hijackals have empathy? * How narcissists use empathy * How you can be fooled--lulled, even--into believing a Hijackal has empathy * What's required to have empathy * How narcissistic, psychopathic, and sociopathic people use empathy for their own ends * What to watch for now that you know how you may be being manipulated Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. FOLLOW DR. SHALER... WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp ------------------------------------------------------------- I WANT TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships. Join my Support Circles now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me. WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Relationship Help Circles. Save $24 on your first three months. Safely off social media. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- #empathy #lackingempathy #donarcissistslackempathy #unwillingtobeempathetic #arenarcissistsempathetic #donarcissistshavempathy #dohijackalshavempathy #arehijackalsempathetic #dohijackalslackempathy #hehasnoempathy #shehasnoempathy #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest   Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27 min
It Starts With Attraction
It Starts With Attraction
Kimberly Beam Holmes
PIES Success Story with Kelly Flint
How do you actually take the concept of working on your PIES into stride and start doing it? Today, I am interviewing Kelly, a member of one of my PIES University classes. Kelly has had a year and a half journey of working on her PIES. In this episode, Kelly shares with us what finding out about PIES meant to her, how she started working on her pies, and the difference it has made in her life to actually implement the PIES principles. Listen to hear what "working on your PIES" looked like for Kelly, how she has done it, and the amazing changes she has seen in herself and the changes others have seen in her. *Today’s Speaker - Kelly Flint* I am 48 years old from upstate New York (Western upstate actually to be more specific). I am a wife, a mom, an aunt, and the oldest of two brothers and a sister. I have raised two children that my husband and I adopted in 2005 they are now 19 and 21. I have been married for 28 years. I also love dogs they are my or have been my identity for many years. I raised for guiding eyes for the blind out of Yorktown heights New York for guide dogs and other service dogs they partner with. I currently have 5 working Labradors as either guide or other service. I have worked as a teaching assistant for 24 years at a local career and technical school. My focus has been working with 10th through 12th graders to learn a skill in order to enroll into the career and technical program. My current position is working more closely with academics teachers within our alternative education high school program on the campus.  Some things about me: *  I am a Christian * Enjoy camping * Enjoy watching movies * Motorcycle rider (yes I own my own bike) * Belong to a Christian Motorcyclist Association Chapter Solid Rock Riders (secretary and Run for the Son NYS Lead) * Love being with my family * Have been involved with many committees throughout the years as Secretary or Chairperson * Earrings are my downfall * Got my first tattoo at age 46 * Have 2 yellow labradors that brighten my days, Eliza Mae and Parker Jon *You’ll Learn* * How to start working on your PIES * How to make changes within yourself * That it is okay to take the time to work on you * How to be there for others *It Starts With Attraction Ep. 034: **PIES Success Story  **with Kelly Flint*
29 min
The Virtual Couch
The Virtual Couch
Tony Overbay LMFT
When You Feel Like You’re Trying More Than Your Spouse w/Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife (Plus When Narcissistic Traits Show Up in Marriage)
Relationship and sexuality expert Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-fife (http://finlayson-fife.com) returns for her 3rd time to the Virtual Couch! On today’s episode, Tony and Jennifer discuss the challenges that occur in relationships when one partner finds themselves often feeling like they are more invested. Tony shares his observations from over 1,000 couples that have come through his office, as well as his preparation for his upcoming Magnetic Marriage course, that couples often settle into two camps, one with more of an anxious, “needy” or “clingy” attachment style, the other a more avoidant, “arms-length” attachment style. So the more the anxious attachment presses to have their needs met, the more the avoidant attachment tends to pull away. They also answer an email from a fan of both Tony and Jennifer who asks how to show up “all in” to the marriage when one spouse may have narcissistic traits or tendencies? - Sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript click here https://descript.com?lmref=v95myQ-Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to https://www.tonyoverbay.com/courses-2/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.-Tony's new best-selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts. -Tony also mentioned his appearances this week on two podcasts, The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert with hosts Ashlyn and Coby, and Virtual Couch former guest Brannon Patrick where we discuss narcissism in detail and the challenges people face in relationships with narcissistic individuals https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/podcast/episode/25d19bf1/is-narcissism-nature-or-nurture and The Millennial Member Podcast hosted by Emily Ensign where we discuss the topic of pornography, what helps with recovery, and what doesn’t https://www.buzzsprout.com/1072564/6209683-tony-overbay-pornography-and-recovery
1 hr 4 min
Matt and Lisa Jacobson
How to Get On the Same Page in Your Parenting
One of the biggest challenges in parenting is often the differences in parenting styles. There's bound to be conflict when you're both right! How can you and your spouse work together and walk in unity and peace when comes to the kids? Join us for an encouraging conversation about the biblical approach to parenting. STRUGGLING WITH PORN/SEXUAL SIN? ENROLL IN MATT'S FREEDOM COURSE - Teaching men how to find true and lasting freedom from porn and all sexual sin. Go to freedom.faithfulman.com (Matt teaches 4 sessions - LIVE! - 4 Weeks - Interact directly with Matt as you learn how to find true, biblical freedom and NEVER look back! Enroll today! GET MATT & LISA'S BOOKS HERE: 100 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE BOOKS (Big Discount!) https://amzn.to/2MCdMbJ 100 WORDS OF AFFIRMATION YOUR HUSBAND/WIFE NEED TO HEAR: (Big Discount!) https://shopfaithfulman.christianbook.com MARRIAGE WISDOM FOR HIM - https://shopfaithfulman.christianbook.com/marriage-wisdom-for-her-him-pack/matthew-jacobson/pd/444925?event=Home-Pages|1013587 MARRIAGE WISDOM FOR HER - https://shopfaithfulman.christianbook.com/marriage-wisdom-for-her-him-pack/matthew-jacobson/pd/444925?event=Home-Pages|1013587 CONNECT WITH MATT & LISA: FOLLOW LISA on Instagram & Facebook @Club31Women and Club31Women.com FOLLOW MATT on Instagram @FaithfulMan & Facebook @FaithfulManMinistries, and at FaithfulMan.com And Don't Forget! 1) Please Leave A Podcast Review!! 2) Take a screenshot of the podcast and share it on social media!! Do you like Matt & Lisa's content and positive, honest, from-the-heart approach? Would you like to support this ministry? DONATE HERE: https://faithfulman.com/donate/
26 min
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