In our penultimate “fuck this year” episode, all of our hosts return! Except the other chick “Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games - we got volcanoes exploding.. right in your face.” The Hamilton Mixtape is now available on Spotify! (Or for purchase if you’re 1000 years old). The Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) has been struck down for now, but what will happen under a Trump Presidency? Amazon Go is here to scan your phone for all those dick pics. “Put the Magnums down, Jonathan, the Lifestyles are right in front of you.” Afraid President Pussy Grabber Elect might lose access to his Twitter? Never fear - technology is being expanded so POTUS can use the cellular emergency alert system to let us know what else he thinks is overrated, sad, or bad. Trump the Distractor: Laura explains why the GOP has warmed to Trump, and why all of his gaffes and faux pas are intended to distract us. Meanwhile, Senator Turtle McTurtleton of the Galapagos is threatening to scrap the filibuster if Democrats try to obstruct GOP SCOTUS nominations. Texas is now legally allowed to force aborted fetus burials. Foreign diplomats are staying at Trump hotels in droves because that’s not a conflict of interest. Andrew does another check in on the savings habits of millennials and we still don’t have any. Are you gonna eat that ramen? Surprise, Bitch! brings us to the UK, where Phoebe commiserates with three yanks about the bucket of suck that is watching an alt-reich takeover. Dictionary.com chooses an actual word for this year’s “Word of the Year,” and it’s more evidence that the US needs to take some time to be alone and try to find itself. And this week’s After Dark is available to all $2 Patrons, so don’t miss out on our discussion of Uncle Joe’s remarks about running for President in 2020! Would Joe Biden have won against Trump this year? We invent a series of mostly stupid, somewhat fucked up campaign slogans for Joe. Asking the important questions: Can he beat Kanye?