Bienvenido a Jacob, nuestro último ganador del Boleto de Oro! We bring a little culture to the show with a story from Mexico. But we don't steep in our newfound intellectualism for long. Mayo or man juice? Trick question: both. Surprise, bitch! takes us on the road with a traveling listener. Google that Shiiiiiiiit: Sponsored by the End of Human Intellect. Colin Kaepernick: the new face of terrorism in America. Donald Trump visits Mexico (we're sorry), Twitter has given up all fucks, and there's a clown stalking children in the woods. Abandon Earth. And in this week's After Dark: Laura apologizes for making the AD theme song so much better than the main show's. We do not accept. WHAT IS GOING ON ANTHONY WEINER. Y U DO DIS. No seriously. What the fuck. Slate argues in favor of "ghosting" at parties, and we find out Millennials are destroying the soap industry. No one likes scraping pubes off a bar of Irish Spring.