682: 10 Questions That Can Help Change Your Life
Play • 21 min

In today's episode, Gina discusses a powerful tool for steering your life in the direction you want it to go: self-questioning.  So much can be revealed about yourself by asking some important questions.  This episode includes 10 useful questions that can help you know yourself better and direct your life purposefully.

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What is anxiety?

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A prudent question is one-half of wisdom. -Francis Bacon

Happiness Podcast
Happiness Podcast
Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D.
#315 Happiness - The School of Happiness
Life presents us with many challenges. But what if we saw life as a school where our purpose is to learn to overcome these challenges and find peace in our daily lives. ############################################### About the Happiness Podcast: Do you ever wonder what it takes to lead a peaceful, happy life? Are you curious about the specific steps involved in a self-actualized, limitless life? Are you struggling with anxiety or depression? Or are you just plain tired and want some help? We explore all these concerns and more every week on the Happiness Podcast, which has been downloaded over 9 million times since its inception. Happiness does not happen by chance, but because we take specific actions in our lives to create it. Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D., author of 13 books, TV show host, Psychology Today blogger, and corporate trainer, has been studying the actions it takes to reach the highest levels of human achievement for decades, and he wants to share what he knows with you. Come and explore, along with millions of others from the Happiness Podcast, Dr. Puff books and Psychology Today blog, private clients and corporate workshop attendees, the specific steps to take so that you can soar in your life. To learn more, go to: https://www.HappinessPodcast.org Contact Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D., Newport Beach Psychologist: Email: DrRobertPuff@icloud.com Phone: 1-714-337-4889 Connect on: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robertpuffjr/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/doctorpuff/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/HappinesPodcast Facebook https://www.facebook.com/HappinessPodcast/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/c/DrRobertPuff Dr. Puff, Corporate Trainer: https://www.SuccessBeyondYourImagination.com Dr. Puff, Clinical Psychologist: https://www.DoctorPuff.com
18 min
Your Anxiety Toolkit
Your Anxiety Toolkit
Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT
Ep. 178: Ways to Break the Cycle of Perfectionism with Menije Boduryan
Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have on an amazing guest and therapist, Menije Boduryan. Menije is an OCD specialist as well as a specialist on perfectionism. She is here today to talk to us about perfectionism and to give us some tips on how to manage perfectionism in our own lives. Menije defines perfectionism as a drive to do things perfectly with anything less than 100% being unacceptable. It is a desire to want everything to be flawless and in that desire, comes a lot of expectations or rules that people set for themselves. She explains that perfectionism becomes a mindset and you begin to operate in the world expecting yourself to be perfect, as well as your partner, your best friend, your clothes, your work desk, what you eat, and how you exercise to all be perfect. It becomes powerful because our self-identity becomes so attached to this idea of being perfect. It is not just about the desire to do things perfectly, but it also becomes a belief that once you do things perfectly, then you are enough, you are worthy. Menije shares with us a bit about her own struggles with perfectionism and how perfectionism impacts our relationships. She describes how it is really possible to fall into a cycle with perfectionism. If you fall short in something you are doing, which you inevitably will, you start into the cycle of feeling shame and that you are not good enough so you then strive to work harder the next time to achieve that level of perfection. Menije shares with us one of the best ways to break out of that cycle of perfectionism is really to just give ourselves a tremendous amount of self-compassion. Recognizing that whatever happens today, I am worthy and I am enough. She also describes that breaking out of the cycle involves being able to tolerate your imperfections. Really being able to sit with the discomfort and anxiety that will come when you have done something that is not perfect. She describes it as very similar to exposure therapy. This interview is full of so many amazing insights. I hope you will find it as helpful and as meaningful as I did. Menije's Instagram @dr.menije If you get a moment, please go over to wherever you listen to podcasts, whether that be Apple Podcast, Stitcher, Spotify, Podbean, and leave an honest review. Tell me how you feel about it, whether it's helping you, what you'd like to see. We are going to give away a pair of Beats headphones of your choice of color once we hit a thousand reviews! ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information. Coming in March ERP School will be available with bonus material! Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.
35 min
Psychologists Off The Clock
Psychologists Off The Clock
Diana Hill, Debbie Sorensen, Yael Schonbrun & Jill Stoddard
186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab
Setting healthy boundaries can be challenging, whether it is with someone you love or someone you dislike. Sticking with your boundaries once you set them, is also difficult. Relationship expert Nedra Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, has the insight and tools you need to set boundaries so that you can thrive. In this episode, Diana and Nedra discuss strategies to overcome barriers to boundary setting so that you can set boundaries and find peace today! Listen and Learn: Diana and Jill’s take on the importance of boundary setting Nedra’s expert definition of boundaries and explanation of how they impact mental healthThe science behind how setting healthy boundaries can provide peace and freedom from anxietyPractical advice on how to set boundaries with toxic individuals, narcissists, your parents, your in-laws, your children, and yourself!Barriers that might be affecting your ability to set a healthy boundaryWhat to do with the feeling of guilt when it shows up during the boundary-setting processNedra’s practical advice on how to be a clear communicator and set effective boundaries in particularly toxic dynamicsThe differences between a soft boundary and a rigid boundary (and when to be flexible with them!)What clear boundaries sound likeThe subtle differences between assertiveness, aggressiveness, and passivityNedra’s take on setting ultimatums (and why they aren’t always a bad thing)Why it’s important to set boundaries with your kids and how to teach them to set their own Nedra’s personal experience with boundaries and how setting them has changed her life Resources: Nedra’s book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself Nedra’s website which has TONS of FREE resources including worksheets, a relationship quiz, a boundaries quiz, and Nedra's book recommendationsCheck out co-host Diana’s workshop, An Introduction to ACT: Growing Psychological Flexibility through Acceptance, Caring, and Tiny Daily Practices on February 28th from 2pm to 5pm Pacific Standard Time  About Nedra Tawwab: NEDRA GLOVER TAWWAB, a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert, has practiced relationship therapy for twelve years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice Kaleidoscope Counseling. She has been recently featured in The New York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and has appeared on numerous podcasts, including Don't Keep Your Day Job, Do the Thing, and Therapy for Black Girls. Tawwab runs a popular Instagram account where she shares practices, tools, and reflections for mental health and hosts weekly Q&As about boundaries and relationships. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her family. Connect with Nedra Tawwab on Instagram @nedratawwab. Find out more about her book, here.  Related Episodes: Episode 98. Narcissism with Dr. Avigail Lev and Dr. Robyn Walser Episode 174. How to Work and Parent Mindfully with Lori Mihalich-LevinEpisode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah TannenEpisode 134. What to do When Work, Parenting, and Partnership Collide During Quarantine
54 min
Wake Me Up: Morning mindfulness, meditation, and motivation
Wake Me Up: Morning mindfulness, meditation, and motivation
Tyler Brown
Morning Routine - A Better Tomorrow Starts Today
Today is the day to start creating the future you dream of. Support WMU Sponsors:   This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Take control of your mental health today by signing up with BetterHelp.  Get 10% off your first month by going to www.BetterHelp.com/wakemeup.   About Wake Me Up:   Welcome to Wake Me Up, the podcast where morning people are made 🌞 Don't waste your morning hitting the snooze button. Turn on an episode of Wake Me Up, and just follow along. In no time, you'll be relaxed, focused, and excited about your day. Support & Connect:   Join the WMU Patreon and enjoy a bunch of great benefits: The entire Wake Me Up catalog with zero ads, chit chat, promos, or calls-to-action; A shoutout on the public feed because you're that awesome; Shape the show by voting on upcoming episodes; And even a monthly one-on-one with Tyler (higher tier only); Tyler's unconditional love and appreciation ❤️.  Sign up now at https://www.patreon.com/wakemeup.    Follow the show on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0Qr9q8pJ94QFWF4C9IkO0M?si=7Cmyo6m9S5urdxP1JsNEDQ.    Subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts  (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wake-me-up-guided-morning-mindfulness-meditation-motivation/id1493287286) or Podchaser (https://www.podchaser.com/podcasts/wake-me-up-morning-mindfulness-1135462).    Don't forget to share WMU with friends and family. A great morning is a wonderful gift!   Share your thoughts and ideas at www.wakemeuppodcast.com. There's truly nothing better than hearing from you!     And find the podcast on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/wakemeuppodcast/.   Only partake in the physical movements suggested in Wake Me Up episodes if you are physically able and in safe surroundings. All movements are done at the individual's own risk. Be safe, and always consult a doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Have a wonderful day 😃
17 min
Mind Love - Modern Mindfulness
Mind Love - Modern Mindfulness
Melissa Monte
Healing the Mother Wound • 169
We will learn: What the mother wound is and what keeps it in place How to develop boundaries even if we never enforced them before How to heal by learning how to mother yourself Why is it that mother daughter relationships can be so complicated? Whether you had the worst mother daughter relationship or the typical conflicts, we all have these mother wounds, some just deeper than others. So the question becomes “how do  you let go?” How do you heal? That’s what we’re talking about today.  Our guest Bethany Webster. In 2013 she published an article entitled “Why it’s Crucial for Women to Heal the Mother Wound” based on a body of work she had been developing for 15 years. And overnight, the article went viral. Women around the world shared it on social media,  they discussed it with their friends, and it was referenced in new blogs and podcasts.  Before, thought leaders like Adrienne Rich and Christiane Northrup had touched on the concept of a Mother Wound, but no one had yet fleshed out exactly what the Mother Wound is and why it remains a universal experience of women the world over.  So Bethany made it her mission to really understand and define the Mother Wound and why and how it manifests. Links: Show Notes: mindlove.com/169 Sign up for The Morning Mind Love for short daily notes from your highest self! Get Mind Love Premium for exclusive ad-free episodes and monthly meditations See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
1 hr 4 min
Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy
David Burns, MD
230: Secrets of Self-Esteem—What is it? How do I get it? How can I get rid of it once I’ve got it? And more, on Ask David!
* Ask David: Questions on self-esteem, recovery from PTSD, dating people with Borderline Personality Disorder, recovery on your own, and more! Jay asks: * Is psychotherapy homework still required if you’ve recovered completely from depression in a single, extended therapy session? * Is Ten Days to Self-Esteem better than the single chapter on this topic in Feeling Good? * Are people who were abused emotionally when growing up more likely to get involved with narcissistic or borderline individuals later in life because the relationship is “familiar?” * Many patients can read your books and do the exercises and recover on their own. Is a teacher or coach sometimes needed to speed things up? * Is it possible for a person to become happy WITHOUT needing anyone else if they have had depression in past and/or PTSD? * Also, how would Team-CBT address treating PTSD? PTSD can involve a person having multiple traumas. * * * * Is psychotherapy homework still required if you’ve recovered completely from depression in a single, extended therapy session? Thanks, Jay, I will make this an Ask david, if that is okay, but here is my quick response. Although many folks now show dramatic changes in a single, two-hour therapy session, they will still have to do homework to cement those gains, including: * Listening to or watching the recording of the session * Finish on paper any Daily Mood Log that was done primarily in role-playing during the session. In other words, write the Positive thoughts, rate the belief, and re-rate the belief in the corresponding negative thought. * Use the Daily Mood Log in the future whenever you get upset and start to have negative thoughts again. * I also do Relapse Prevention Training following the initial dramatic recovery, and this takes about 30 minutes. I advise the patient that relapse, which I define as one minute or more of feeling crappy, is 100% certain, and that no human being can be happy all the time. We all hit bumps in the road from time to time. When they do relapse, their original negative thoughts will return, and they will need to use the same technique again that worked for them the first time they recovered. In addition, they will have certain predictable thoughts when they relapse, like “this proves that the therapy didn’t rally work,” or “this shows that I really am a hopeless case,” or worthless, etc. I have them record a role-play challenging these thoughts with the Externalization of Voices, and do not discharge them until they can knock all these thoughts out of the park. I tell them to save the recording, and play it if they need it when they relapse. I also tell them that if they can’t handle the relapse, I’ll be glad to give them a tune up any time they need it. I rarely hear from them again, which is sad, actually, since I have developed a fondness for nearly all the patients I’ve ever treated. But I’d rather lose them quickly to recovery, than work with them endlessly because they’re not making progress! People with Relationship Problems recover more slowly than individuals with depression or anxiety for at least three reasons, and can rarely or never be treated effectively in a single two-hour session: * The outcome and process resistance to change in people with troubled relationships is typically way more intense. * It takes tremendous commitment and practice to get good at the five secrets of effective communication, in the same way that learning to play piano beautifully takes much commitment and practice. * Resolving relationship conflicts usually requires the death of the “self” or “ego,” and that can be painful. That’s why the Disarming Technique can be so hard for most people to learn, and many don’t even want to learn it, thinking that self-defense and arguing and fighting back is the best road to travel! * * * * Is Ten Days to Self-Esteem better than the single chapter on this topic in Feeling Good? Yes, Ten Days to Self-Esteem would likely be a deeper dive into the topic of Self-Esteem. It is a ten-step program that can be used in groups or individually in therapy, or as a self-help tool. There is a Leader’s Manual, too, for those who want to develop groups based on it. * * * * Are people who were abused emotionally when growing up more likely to get involved with narcissistic or borderline individuals later in life because the relationship is “familiar?” I was involved with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder, and it was exhausting! Why was I attracted to her? Thank you for the question, Jay. Most claims about parents and childhood experiences, in my opinion, are just something somebody claimed and highly unlikely to be true if one had a really great data base to test the theory. We don’t really know why people are attracted to each other. Many men do seem attracted to women with Borderline Personality Disorder. Perhaps it’s exciting and dramatic dynamic that they’re attracted to, and perhaps it’s appealing to try to “help” someone who seems wounded. Good research on topics like this would be enormously challenging, and people would just ignore the results if not in line with their own thinking. Our field is not yet very scientific, but is dominated by “cults” and people who believe, and who desperately want to believe, things that are highly unlikely, in my opinion, to be true. I do quite a lot of data analysis using a sophisticated statistical modeling program called AMOS (the Analysis of Moment Structures) created by Dr. James Arbuckle from Temple University in Philadelphia, someone I admire tremendously. This program does something called structural equation modeling. In the typical analysis, the program tells you that your theory cannot possibly be true, based on your data. If you are brave, this can lead to radical changes in how you think and see things, especially if you are not “stuck” in your favored theories. But this type of analysis is not for the faint of heart. All the best, David Here is Jay’s follow-up email: HI Dr. Burns, As you know A LOT of people attribute their present problems (depression / anxiety / relationship conflicts / addictions) to their "abusive" or "toxic" relationship with their parents. It is interesting that it seems some people internalize negative beliefs about themselves based on what their parents said to them on a consistent basis. But it seems you are saying the data does not support that theory. Jay Thanks, Jay, I’m glad you responded again. There may be some truth to those kinds of theories. We know, for example, that abused or feral cats often have trouble with trust. So, we don’t want to trivialize the pain and the horrors that many humans and animals alike endure. At the same time, people are eager to jump onto theories that “sound right” to them and serve their purposes, and most of these theories are not based on sound research. Here are two examples from my own research. I tested, in part, the theory that depression comes from bad relationships, and also that addictions result from emotional problems. I examined the causal relationships between depression on the one hand and troubled vs happy relationships with loved ones on the other hand in several hundred patients during the first 12 weeks of treatment at my clinical in Philadelphia, and published it in top psychology journal for clinical research. (will include link) That was because there were at the time two warring camps—those who said that a lack of loving and satisfying relationships causes depression, and those who said it was the other way around, that depression leads to troubled relationships. And the third group said it worked both ways. My study indicated that although troubled relationships were correlated with depression, there were NO causal links in either direction. Instead, the statistical models strongly hinted that an unobs…
47 min
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