#225 - When One Partner Wants Sex More than the Other - Relationship Advice
Play • 22 min
Do you and your partner have different sexual appetites? Do you want sex more than them or vice versa? Why is that and how do you come together to fulfill each other? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/yaz707/support
Breakup Recovery Podcast
Breakup Recovery Podcast
Barbara Stevens - Breakups, Separations, Divorce, Self Help, Healing, Survi
#112 How To Survive The Holiday Season As A Single Person with Martha Bodyfelt
As the holiday season is fast approaching anyone who experiencing a breakup, separation or a divorce are possibly dreading this time of the year. Martha offers some practical tips and ideas to get you through not only the holiday season but also any other time of the year that can bring an uprising of emotions. This advice will help you to not only handle your reactions but help in your recovery. Martha’s own marriage ended at the beginning of the holiday season. The hardest part of the breakup was that her ex-husband was not moving out of their apartment for some time. They had decided they would be civil and kind to each other and try and do Christmas as a coupe. This was the worst Christmas, as they were trying to work through the sadness and heartbreak, when this time of the year was supposed to be full of happiness, family and joy. For a couple of Christmas after that Martha stayed in her apartment, as this time bought back all the feelings of pain of the ending of the marriage. Finding a good support system in the form of a therapist helped Martha. It was draining trying to project this image of the perfect wife, the perfect marriage. When she finally was honest with her self and became vulnerable and started telling friends, co-workers and family and not bottling all her emotions up inside of her she began the healing process. Martha started to do things that she felt she couldn’t do when she was in the marriage, She travel to the places she wanted go to and started some of her own traditions. It took a few Christmas to get into the swing of things and the number one thing she had to do was to learn how to manage her expectations at this time of the year. So often when relationships end and it comes to the holidays you can be down on yourself, saying things like why can’t I be happy, why can’t I have this togetherness, why can’t I have the perfect holiday. But if you take a step back and realise that maybe things are going to be a bit more subdued for a while and that’s ok. It’s a matter of having things that are simple and things that you love, if you expect that things are going to be small and simple, then your not going to be disappointed. Martha believes you also have to be careful of your selective memories. Often at this time of the year you can cherry pick all the good and amazing things that happened when you were with your partner during the holiday season. You forget the rest of the story, some of the things that weren’t that good. So often you like to paint the picture that when you were with your partner everything was great and it probably wasn’t, so you have to be honest with yourself and don’t compare yourself and what is happening now with past experiences. During this holiday season put yourself first for a change, do what you want, forget the expectations and traditions that have previously been part of your life. Now is the time to create your own traditions and do what you like and take care of yourself. This is an opportunity to change your outlook into more of a positive one. Instead of seeing this holiday season as a sad and traumatic time you have now been given this gift for you find out what you want to do and how you want to celebrate it. When you are in a relationship you tend to do things as a unit, what is good for the unit, what’s good for your partner, what’s good for the couple. But you have to be careful that you don’t loose yourself and identify when you are in a relationship. When you get out of a relationship you often don’t remember how to putt your self first and find what interests you. Self-care is so important to the recovery process and doing these things that make you happy don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. In life we have to have a balance with everything and the holidays are no different. If you find that the holidays are triggering things for you and the holidays are making it difficult for you to function and you feel that you are getting stuck. Martha encourages you to work with a therapist or join a divorce support group or single support group, that you can lean on and help you through this difficult process after your breakup. There can be many days that will trigger your memories such as your wedding day. Martha offered a way to get through this particular day by thinking of something that happened during that day that you liked a good memory and incorporate that into that day each year. For Martha the good memory of her wedding day was the Greek restaurant that they went to and each year on her anniversary Martha either cooks herself an amazing Greek meal or goes out to a Greek restaurant. So now her anniversary is no longer a day where she mourns the ending of her marriage but a day where she gets to eat amazing Greek food. You can connect with Martha @ survivingyoursplit.com and when you sign up for her newsletter you will get the Ultimate Divorce Goddess Recovery Guide.
23 min
Dating Tips, Relationships & Dating Advice For Single Women Podcast | Magnetize Your Man
Dating Tips, Relationships & Dating Advice For Single Women Podcast | Magnetize Your Man
Antia Boyd - Dating Tips, Relationships & Dating Advice For Single Women
Should You Lower Your Standards For A Man? (Hard Truth)
SHOULD YOU LOWER YOUR STANDARDS FOR A MAN? (HARD TRUTH) ♥ Get Your FREE "Magnetize Your Man" QUIZ & Personalized Strategy To Make Him Chase You Here! ▶ https://MagnetizeYourMan.com Subscribe For More FREE Training Videos Coming Soon Here! http://bit.ly/2WSL6wO Join Our FREE “Magnetize Your Man” Facebook Dating Support Group For Incredible Support, Accountability & More Bonus Trainings Using The Special Link Here! http://bit.ly/2KVyN0C Subscribe To Our Podcast On iTunes Here: https://apple.co/2MYHM3T On Spotify Here: https://spoti.fi/2QC3x8Y Or On Google Podcasts Here! https://bit.ly/2SEC3QP Get A Copy Of Our New "Magnetize Your Man" BOOK On Amazon Here! https://amzn.to/2UZcmve Get Our "Magnetize Your Man" AUDIOBOOK On Audible Here: http://adbl.co/38uAgoF Follow Antia On Facebook For More FREE Updates & Behind The Scenes Bonuses Here! http://bit.ly/31Kvyz9 Follow Antia On Instagram As Well Here! http://bit.ly/2WR4MX2  💗 About Antia Boyd 💗 I was born in eastern Germany before the wall came down, and was single my ENTIRE LIFE before I finally had an epiphany, a total breakthrough and developed my signature system called the "Magnetize Your Man Method". It's the exact method that I used to attract my handsome, strong & supportive hubby Brody! I’ve now been helping thousands of elite single women all over the world for over a decade to attract the right man for them to share their life with & have a loving relationship ASAP without loneliness, trust issues or wasting time attracting EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE MEN! I studied Personality Psychology at U.C. Berkeley, am NLP and Dream Coaching certified and have spoken on hundreds of stages and radio shows all over the world including Harvard University, Google and Good Morning San Diego. I’ve also been featured on ABC Radio, America Trends TV, The Great Love Debate and for over a decade studied EVERYTHING that I could get my hands on in the areas of love, dating and creating an amazing, happy family of your own the easy way without fear, unhealthy relationships or endless dating I now live in the beautiful San Diego area of California with my loving, stable & committed husband of 6 years, and I look forward to helping YOU to feel safe to be open & vulnerable, have fun & travel the world with the ideal guy for you without feeling insecure or choosing the wrong men! 💗 💗 Amazing Client Love Stories & Reviews! 💗 “Hi Antia, my man and I are very happy as we are exploring and enjoy our new life together. Our coaching together was very helpful in my ability to stay centered in the reality of a true intimate loving relationship unfolding. It has also helped me in nurturing it too. Thanks so much for your support!” -A.G. “Hi Antia, One year since the day my fiancee and I met is just around the corner, and we are now married! We are in love and don’t want to live life without one another. I have lived with him for 6 months and have been the happiest I have ever been in my life. Thank you so much for the coaching… I will check in very soon. Lots of love!” -L.W. "Hello Antia, I just wanted to let you know that I met a really great guy.  He has done a lot of personal work and we are enjoying really good communication. I just wanted to thank you for the help and suggestions that you gave me. I am optimistic!!" -D.K. #Dating #DatingTips #DatingAdvice #DatingTipsForWomen #DatingAdviceForWomen #Relationships https://youtu.be/AyKFTx4cIyc Support the show (https://MagnetizeYourMan.com)
9 min
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
The Marriage Podcast for Smart People
Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
Why Is My Spouse So Controlling?
There’s a level of control that occurs in relatively few marriages that we would see as part of an abusive power and control dynamic. But then there’s a lower level of control that doesn’t come from an abusive spouse that can still be frustrating and lead to conflict in the marriage. We’ve talked about the abusive kind of control before, so if you want to learn more about that kind of control feel free to go back to our previous episodes of the podcast to learn more about what that looks like.  Today, we’re talking about the annoying kind of controlling. This is not so much about the spouse’s power and dominance as the controlling spouse’s worry, fear, anxiety, and maybe even mental health issues that are driving this behavior. And sometimes the non-controlling spouse may also be acting in ways that prompt this behavior. If you’re listening to this to try to figure out your spouse, you may ask yourself what your role might be and how might you help your spouse feel less of a need to be in control. Where Control Issues Come From 1. Fear Control issues are often rooted in fear. This is the first place to look. If you’re afraid and you want to make it safer, you’re going to want to control the variables. This is quite a common response to fear. Fear can come from a number of different places. One place fear can come from is trauma. When something very frightening or overwhelming happens, it may cause a person to install certain requirements or demands in order to preserve safety. For example, you’ve been in a late night car accident, and you now want to control all of the family travel so that there’s no late-night travel going on and no one is allowed to go out after dark. So now you’ve become “controlling.” You’ve installed requirements or demands on others in order to preserve your sense of safety and well-being, to stop the horror from repeating itself. Another source of control is abandonment (fear of being left alone). If you were left alone at some point as a child or at a point in your marriage, that may result in the kind of controlling behavior where you don’t let your spouse do things on their own or do certain things on their own. You always have to be there, or you always have to do things together. 2. Betrayal Betrayal may also lead to controlling relationships with certain kinds of people in order to prevent re-betrayal. For example, if in your first marriage you were sexually betrayed by your spouse, in your second marriage you may marry a faithful person, but you exert control on them to make sure that that previous betrayal doesn’t re-occur, much to the frustration of your current spouse. That can get difficult because it can cause such distress in your marriage that there’s an emotional separation, or drifting apart that occurs between you. Thus, controlling behavior can lead to further dysfunction.  In another scenario, if you’re a late teenager and you saw your father gamble away your family’s savings and eventually lose the home, job, etc., that’s a major financial betrayal. And later in life when you are a mom you may think you’re a super budgeter, but there’s actually a ton of control over where every penny goes. So, in this situation if the husband buys a chocolate bar and the wife gets upset and he may get frustrated and say “can I not even buy a chocolate bar without asking your permission?” This is clearly a higher level of control than just a healthy budgeting habit. 3. Mental Health Issues Now that we’ve talked about a few fear-related causes of control, we’re going to move on to look at mental health. Some mental health issues can cause controlling behavior. Take personality disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Someone with BPD may say if you leave, I’ll hurt myself, or I might not be ok somehow (there’s a clinging aspect of BPD that does relate to fear of abandonment, but it is also a mental health condition and the fear piece is a part of...
23 min
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Sex, Love, and Addiction
Robert Weiss, PhD, MSW
What is the Concept of ‘Home’, Really?
Dr. Rob does a solo episode this week to talk about the concept of home and what it means to us and how it differs from people who aren’t addicts. No matter where you are, home is meant to be a safe place, but for addicts, it’s a place we run away from. If you grew up in an environment where home was hell, then it makes sense why you never want to go back there. Dr. Rob discusses how you can rebuild and really find ‘HOME’. TAKEAWAYS: [1:45] Let’s talk about the concept of home. [2:30] Why do addicts keep running away from home? [4:20] Home is not what kind of furniture you have or what kind of car you drive, or your computer. Home is the people you come home to or that place where you feel like you’re at peace. [4:50] If you have an intimacy disorder, you’re not going to be able to maintain the home you’ve created for yourself as an adult. [5:30] We deeply love the homes we create, but we’re broken people and we’re unable to stay there. [6:25] The minute something goes wrong, we run away. We live double lives. [7:10] While you’re starving for connection, behind you there is a banquet waiting for you. [10:45] We often don’t see what’s right in front of us. [15:10] It makes sense why you want to run away from home. If you grow up in a nightmare, why would you want to stay there as an adult? [18:00] Going ‘home’ for the holidays was just a crazy concept. Home was a scary and unsafe place. [22:30] You can only have one life. Do you want to spend it just running away from everything that’s important to you? [23:00] How can we make home a joyful and exciting place to be? [25:30] When we get caught for our bad behavior, home ends up being another unsafe place for us. But this time, instead of running away, you need to fight your way back to it. [26:55] It’s taken Dr. Rob years to stop running. [29:10] How do you find and rebuild connection again? [32:00] Your life is going to change for the better. Just put in the work. [33:25] The most important word is ‘Home’. RESOURCES: The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’? Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101 Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency QUOTES: * “Home is the most sacred place in our lives, no matter what kind of foundation that means for us.” * “What addicts and those who cheat and/or are unfaithful do, we leave home like everybody else, but then we never come back.” * “The nature of an intimacy disorder means you’re constantly running away from home. Constantly looking for intensity and distractions because you can’t deal with home.” * “Healthy people don’t have to live a double life.”
35 min
Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Got chemistry? Nice But Not Enough!
Hijackals use chemistry to manipulate and control you. They exploit it to feel they have power over you. It is a significant part of trauma-bonding. Get clear on what's really happening when you think you're in love, rather than knowing you're being used.  HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: * What lust, attraction, and attachment have to do with creating toxic relationships * Why #Hijackals want to recreate their trauma from a position of control * What part trauma-bonding plays in thinking you have chemistry with a toxic person * How #Hijackals depend on the chemistry to keep you hooked in a toxic relationship, a verbally abusive relationship * How misused chemistry can lead to emotional abuse Chemistry may draw you back to a relationship of narcissistic abuse and emotional trauma. You may confuse it with love. It isn't love. Don't be fooled. Stop the trauma-bonding, too! Big hugs! Rhoberta Want clarity, insights, strategies, and support from me, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler? We can talk: Introductory session for new clients, $97 CONNECT WITH ME: I invite you to like my pages and follow for further help with recognizing toxic relationships, realizing their impact, realigning your life, and recovering your self-confidence and ability to love and trust again. FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER... WEBSITE: https://www.ForRelationshipHelp.com PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp ------------------------------------------------------------- I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Support Circle now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + personal home study program + group Saturday Support Calls with me. WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Support Circle. Save $24 on your first three months. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- #traumabonding #chemistryisnotenough #verballyabusive #dontgobacktoabuse #lust #attraction #attachment #don'tmistakechemistryforlove #chemistryisnotcaring #goingbacktoanabuser #gotchemistry #sexualchemistrycanbedangerous #savemysanity #saveyoursanity #relationshipadvice #tipsforrelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #mentalhealthmatters #MHNRNetwork #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stopemotionalgabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #antisocialbehavior #lackingempathy #journorequest #prrequest  Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29 min
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