FW Ep 41 Delay Gratification
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Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Galatians 6:9 NIV

Pain is a strong motivator of behavior. If something hurts, we do everything we can to stop it. Too hot. Too cold. Too sharp. Too heavy. Too fast. These things present risks to our bodies and pain is our early warning system. Something bad is happening. We must act to make it stop. It’s a great system overall. Could we survive for long without the ability to feel pain? I think not.

The problem arises with the way our brains react to discomforts of the non-emergency variety. It experiences psychological discomfort much the same as physical pain. Emotional distress feels real. We experience it in tangible ways. Stress, worry, and fear are like this. Even boredom is experienced as a kind of pain. Hunger and thirst gnaw at our minds until we respond. Loneliness makes us feel hollow and empty. Pain. These are all signals that something needs to be done to alleviate the suffering. We instinctually move away from discomfort and seek pleasure.

Do you see the problem yet? If we treat all discomfort equally, it creates new problems. Think about work. It induces levels of pain. “I don’t want to be getting up,” or “I don’t feel like carrying this up that hill,” or “Do I have to sit in front of this computer today? It’s miserable.” We experience these feelings like pain, but an adult must learn to endure this kind of malaise if he wants to provide for the needs of life. What about exercise? It takes work to strengthen the body. It causes aches and fatigue. It takes time away from more enjoyable activities, but what would happen to you without it? The body would be stunted and weak.

Sometimes we have to override our dislike of pain. We have to push through it to achieve something of importance in the future. I must stretch my body, which consumes my time and hurts a little, so I don’t injure myself during exercise. Oh, who am I kidding? Stretching helps me bend over to pick up a pencil without throwing my back out. It’s not like I run marathons. The point is that some pain must be inflicted to maintain health and proper functioning life.

No pain. No gain. It’s not true 100% of the time, but if you want to move forward in life and reach your goals, you will have to endure some pain. Fathers need to embrace this truth for themselves and live accordingly. I believe this life skill must be demonstrated if you want your kids to understand how to delay gratification. It is a habit that is caught more effectively than taught. When kids see their parents working hard, striving toward self-improvement goals, enduring difficulty for a worthwhile purpose they will mimic the behavior. What does the Bible say about this? Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. Matthew 16:24 NIV. A father should focus on following Christ’s example, so his kids can see what it looks like to live for a higher purpose.

As skillsets go, the ability to delay gratification is a reliable predictor of success in life. If we can teach our kids to endure the discomforts of life with a good attitude, they will tackle challenges more effectively. They will be willing to do the work today for tomorrow’s touchdowns. This doesn’t come naturally for any of us. From the time your kids are young, put challenges before them. Cheer them on. Teach them to complete what they begin. Help them learn that doing a quality job is honoring to God and therefore admirable and worthwhile. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24 NIV

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