Relationship Doctor
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In a world filled with swipes and empty calories of connection, we need someone to help us navigate what it means to be in a present-day committed relationship. The Relationship Doctor is filled with practical tips and advice on how to kindle and keep the flame burning, whether you’re single, coupled, married, or somewhere in between.
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Oct 27, 2022
An Excerpt From Elsewhere
We hope you enjoy this excerpt from Alexis Schaitkin's new audiobook, Elsewhere.
Vera grows up in a small town, removed and isolated, pressed up against the mountains, cloud-covered and damp year-round. This town, fiercely protective, brutal and unforgiving in its adherence to tradition, faces a singular affliction: some mothers vanish, disappearing into the clouds. It is the exquisite pain and intrinsic beauty of their lives; it sets them apart from people elsewhere and gives them meaning.
Vera, a young girl when her own mother went, is on the cusp of adulthood herself. As her peers begin to marry and become mothers, they speculate about who might be the first to go, each wondering about her own fate. Reveling in their gossip, they witness each other in motherhood, waiting for signs: this one devotes herself to her child too much, this one not enough—that must surely draw the affliction’s gaze. When motherhood comes for Vera, she is faced with the question: will she be able to stay and mother her beloved child, or will she disappear?
Purchase _Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance_ at Amazon, Audible, Bookshop.org, or your favorite bookstore.
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Oct 20, 2022
An Unconventional Love Story
For much of her life, Sally Holt has been mystified by the things her older sister, Kathy, seems to have been born knowing. Kathy has answers for all of Sally’s questions about life, about love, and about Billy Barnes, a rising senior and local basketball star who mans the concession stand at the town pool. The girls have been fascinated by Billy ever since he jumped off the roof in elementary school, but Billy has never shown much interest in them until the summer before Sally begins eighth grade. By then, their mutual infatuation with Billy is one of the few things the increasingly different sisters have in common. Sally spends much of that summer at the pool, watching in confusion and excitement as her sister falls deeper in love with Billy―until a tragedy leaves Sally’s life forever intertwined with his.
Enjoy an excerpt of this emotional new audiobook from Alison Espach.
Purchase _Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance_ at Amazon, Audible, Bookshop.org, or your favorite bookstore.
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Sep 13, 2022
What Happens At Yerba Buena
“A love story as vibrant as its cover…A perfect beach read: Two women meet at a fashionable restaurant known as—you got it—Yerba Buena, and there embark on a journey of addiction, self-discovery, renewal, and, perhaps, real commitment.”
—_Elle_
Purchase _Yerba Buena_ at Amazon, Audible, Bookshop.org, or your favorite bookstore.
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Sep 6, 2022
How Can We Be Equal Partners?
As American society shut down due to Covid, millions of women had to leave their jobs to take on full-time childcare. As the country opens back up, women continue to struggle to balance the demands of work and home life. Kate Mangino, a professional facilitator for twenty years, has written a comprehensive, practical guide for readers and their partners about gender norms and household balance. Yes, part of our gender problem is structural, and that requires policy change. But much of our gender problem is social, and that requires us to change.
Quickly moving from diagnosis to solution, _Equal Partners_ focuses on what we can do, everyday people living busy lives, to rewrite gender norms to support a balanced homelife so both partners have equal time for work, family, and self.
Enjoy an excerpt of this informative new audiobook from Kate Mangino.
Purchase _Equal Partners_ at Amazon, Audible, Bookshop.org, or your favorite bookstore.
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Aug 9, 2022
The Beginning of the End, Episode 3: Jessie
This is The Beginning of the End, a Relationship Doctor mini-series from author and podcaster Jessie Stephens. Jessie's debut book, _Heartsick_, follows three stories of heartbreak, the kind of heartbreak that upends a life, and puts words around a brand of grief that we, as a culture, do not respect enough.
In this three-part mini-series, Jessie shares three brand new stories, unique to the podcast. In episode three, Jessie turns inwards, and tells us her own story of heartbreak.
Purchase _Heartsick_:
* Amazon
* Bookshop.org
* Audible
Read a transcript of this episode on Simplecast.
Relationship Doctor is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.
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Aug 2, 2022
The Beginning of the End, Episode 2: Laura
This is The Beginning of the End, a Relationship Doctor mini-series from author and podcaster Jessie Stephens. Jessie's debut book, _Heartsick_, follows three stories of heartbreak, the kind of heartbreak that upends a life, and puts words around a brand of grief that we, as a culture, do not respect enough.
In this three-part mini-series, Jessie shares three brand new stories, unique to the podcast. In episode two, we hear the story of Laura.
Purchase _Heartsick_:
* Amazon
* Bookshop.org
* Audible
Read a transcript of this episode on Simplecast.
Relationship Doctor is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.
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Jul 26, 2022
The Beginning of the End, Episode 1: Samantha
This is The Beginning of the End, a Relationship Doctor mini-series from author and podcaster Jessie Stephens. Jessie's debut book, _Heartsick_, follows three stories of heartbreak, the kind of heartbreak that upends a life, and puts words around a brand of grief that we, as a culture, do not respect enough.
In this three-part mini-series, Jessie shares three brand new stories, unique to the podcast. In episode one, we hear the story of Samantha.
Purchase _Heartsick_:
* Amazon
* Bookshop.org
* Audible
Read a transcript of this episode on Simplecast.
Relationship Doctor is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast. Join the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.
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Mar 22, 2022
What is Ethical Non-Monogamy?
This week, we're dropping an episode from another great podcast here on Quick and Dirty Tips—The Savvy Psychologist.
Listen to the Savvy Psychologist in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app: https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/savvy-psychologist
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Mar 15, 2022
Wired for Love: How Love Literally Reshapes Our Brains
This week, we're sharing an excerpt from the new book _Wired for Love_ by neuroscientist Stephanie Cacioppo. Cacioppo is one of the world's foremost neuroscientists studying romantic love. In _Wired for Love_, she tells the story of how she met the foremost scientist of loneliness, how they fell in love, and the tragic story of his death seven years later. Woven in to her personal story are revelatory insights into how and why we fall in love, what makes love last, and how we process love lost—all grounded in cutting-edge findings in brain chemistry and behavioral science.
Buy _Wired for Love_:
Amazon
Audible
Bookshop.org
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Mar 7, 2022
Take a Break with Your New Favorite Beach Read
Enjoy an excerpt of this emotional new suspense novel from bestselling author Nora Roberts.
Purchase _Hideaway_ at Amazon, Audible, Bookshop.org, or your favorite bookstore.
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Feb 28, 2022
Is It Possible to Optimize Our Most Intimate Relationships?
This week, we're sharing an excerpt from _The Arc_, the new novel by Tory Henwood Hoen.
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Feb 21, 2022
What Is Normal?
This week, we're sharing an excerpt from _Finding Normal: Sex, Love, and Taboo in Our Hyperconnected World_ by Alexa Tsoulis-Reay.
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Feb 14, 2022
How Parenthood Changes Your Relationship
How can you maintain your relationship after the birth of your first child? Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, looks at the research.
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Feb 8, 2022
Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Ruin Your Relationship
Stressed out by Valentine's Day? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains how you can make your Valentine's Day special instead of stressful.
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Feb 1, 2022
What Kind of Flirt Are You?
Did you know that there are actually five different flirting styles? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why flirting is an important part of starting new relationships and maintaining established ones.
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Jan 24, 2022
Can Singlehood Be a Satisfying Alternative to Romantic Relationships?
Living as a single person has become an increasingly popular choice for American adults in the last 10 years. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why singlehood can lend itself to life satisfaction and happiness.
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Jan 18, 2022
The Truth Behind 4 Common Relationship Myths
Do you believe that all disagreement is destructive? Or that your partner has to be able to read your mind? This week, the Relationship Doctor breaks down 4 common myths that can damage our relationships.
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Jan 10, 2022
Why Is It Hard for Couples to Talk About Money?
Are you afraid to discuss finances with your partner? Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why talking about your finances is important, even if it may be uncomfortable.
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Jan 3, 2022
How Your Bedtime Routine Impacts Your Relationship
What does your bedtime routine say about your relationship? More than you might think. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, breaks down the science behind bedtime.
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Dec 26, 2021
Should You Set New Year’s Resolutions with Your Partner?
In this week's episode of Relationship Doctor, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt is joined by Dr. Nanika Coor of Project Parenthood and Dr. Monica Johnson of Savvy Psychologist for a panel episode on New Year's Resolutions.
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Dec 19, 2021
What Gifts Will Have the Biggest Impact on Your Relationship?
Do you struggle to find the perfect gift for your partner? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, breaks down the science behind why we give gifts and what research says is the best kind of gift for your partner.
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Dec 12, 2021
“Picking Your Battles” Isn’t the Best Thing for Your Relationship
Fact: your partner will bother you sometimes. Conventional wisdom says to pick your battles and not sweat the small stuff, but in this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains how that can actually have a chilling effect on your relationship.
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Dec 5, 2021
Can a Relationship Survive Cheating?
If you or your partner cheat, is it the end of your relationship? Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, talks about the complex issue of cheating and what it may mean for your relationship.
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Nov 29, 2021
Is a Little White Lie on Your Dating Profile Okay?
Have you ever seen an online dating profile that makes a person seem almost too good to be true? In this week's episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, talks about how common it is for people to lie when dating online and when it actually matters.
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Nov 22, 2021
The Surprising Health Benefits of Expressing Affection
While you might have guessed that being affectionate can improve your relationship's health, did you know it can improve your physical and mental health, too? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains the health benefits of affectionate communication.
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Nov 15, 2021
Where Should You and Your Partner Spend the Holidays?
The holidays can be a time of great joy and good food, but can also be a source of tension in our relationships. In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, provides advice on how to navigate difficult conversations about where to spend the holidays this season.
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Nov 7, 2021
Which of These 7 Types of Love Defines Your Relationship?
Which of the seven kinds of love are you experiencing in your relationship today? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains the Triangular Theory of Love and the three core components of love that are the pillars of romantic relationships.
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Nov 1, 2021
How To Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work
How can you build and sustain a meaningful and happy relationship while long-distance? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains how you can maintain your long-distance relationships.
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Oct 24, 2021
The Myth of Love Languages
Love languages have been a pop culture sensation for nearly 30 years—but are they based in any actual science? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why love languages are not scientific, but why they may be useful anyway.
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Oct 18, 2021
There's no such thing as a perfect person
Does online dating feel more like a game and less like a process of finding your right person? Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why having too many choices in your dating apps may actually lead you to be less satisfied in your resulting relationships.
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Oct 11, 2021
Relationship Research is WEIRD—Here's Why
Why is it that some relationship research doesn't resonate with you and your experiences? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why some relationship data is just plain WEIRD.
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Oct 3, 2021
Stop Comparing You and Your Partner to "Perfect" Online Relationships
Perfect relationships don't exist. So why do we pretend they do when we look at other couples on social media? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains how social comparisons can negatively affect your relationship.
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Sep 27, 2021
5 Ways You Can Support Your Partner
Have you ever felt like your help went unnoticed or was unappreciated by your partner? Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains invisible support efforts and the different ways we provide support to our partners.
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Sep 19, 2021
Will My On-Again Off-Again Relationship Work Out?
Ever wanted to give a relationship a second chance? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains the risks of on-again/off-again relationships.
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Sep 13, 2021
Stuck in a Situationship? Here's How to Define the Relationship
Stuck in a situationship and aren't sure how to make it into a relationship? In this episode, Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt explains why defining your relationship is important for your mental health and how to have that risky conversation.
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Sep 6, 2021
The Investment Model of Relationships
While it may not happen consciously, everyone does a cost-benefit analysis of their relationship in difficult moments. What considerations lead people to stay or leave their relationships?
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Aug 30, 2021
Never Use Secret Tests in Your Relationship
Ever used a secret test, like waiting for a partner to text you first, to assess the state of your relationship? Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why secret tests can actually be harmful to your relationship
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Aug 23, 2021
What is Ghosting and Why Do People Do It?
Have you been ghosted by a romantic partner? Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, the Relationship Doctor, explains why people resort to ghosting when things aren't working out, and how to cope with being ghosted if it happens to you.
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Aug 15, 2021
How to Avoid a Gray Divorce
In light of the recent divorce announcements of several high profile couples in their 50s and 60s, Relationship Doctor Rachel Vanderbilt explores some of the reasons for the rise in "gray divorce."
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Aug 9, 2021
Why You Should Embrace Small Talk on Dating Apps
Small talk on dating apps can feel awkward and corny--but it's also a way to assess compatibility before you waste your time.
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Aug 2, 2021
Is It A Bad Idea to Cohabitate Before Marriage?
Data from the 1980s and 1990s showed that moving in with a romantic partner before marriage was associated with an increased risk of divorce. But that conclusion doesn't tell the whole story.
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Jul 19, 2021
Coming Soon: The Relationship Doctor Returns
The Relationship Doctor podcast will return to your favorite podcast app for weekly episodes beginning August 2. Now hosted by Dr. Rachel Vanderbilt, Relationship Doctor will bring friendly advice based on cutting-edge relationship science right to your ears. Make sure to follow Relationship Doctor wherever you get your podcasts.
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Dec 29, 2019
22 - How to Reconnect with an Intimate Conversation
The goal of any intimate conversation is simple: to know your partner more fully, and to be more fully known by them. Everything else is secondary. TRANSCRIPT: https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/intimate-conversation | Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows: www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/ | Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Dec 22, 2019
21 - How to Thrive in a Relationship Even If You Have Anxious Attachment Style
If you're among the one in five adults with anxious attachment style, you're probably extra sensitive to signs of emotional danger in a relationship. Here's what you can do.
TRANSCRIPT & LINKS: Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/marriage/anxious-attachment-style | Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows: www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/ | Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Dec 15, 2019
20 - Why "We Need to Talk" Isn't the Best Way to Save Your Relationship
One of you wants to talk about your relationship. The other one would cheerfully rather submit to a tax audit. Here are some practical suggestions.
TRANSCRIPT & LINKS: Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/marriage/we-need-talk | Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows: www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/ | Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Dec 8, 2019
19 - 4 Love Lessons from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood
Children's TV host Fred Rogers had an unusual capacity for love that few of us can attain. But his example can inspire the rest of us to love more deeply.
TRANSCRIPT & LINKS: Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/medical-conditions/childrens-health/mister-rogers | Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows: www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts JOIN THE CONVERSATION: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/ | Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Dec 1, 2019
18 - Is Your Relationship Text Smart?
Texting in a relationship can be fun, sexy, and even useful. But there are also some huge pitfalls to avoid. Is your relationship text smart?
TRANSCRIPT & LINKS
Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/dating/text-relationship
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows: https://quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts
JOIN THE CONVERSATION
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/
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Nov 24, 2019
17 - What Should You Do if Your Partner Is Addicted to Video Games?
Some people have trouble regulating their use of video games. Here's what to do if you think your partner might be one of them.
TRANSCRIPT & LINKS
Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/addicted-video-games
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts
JOIN THE CONVERSATION
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Nov 17, 2019
16 - The Secret Art of Intimate Communication
Intimate communication is inherently risky, but that's where the greatest rewards are. Here's a quick guide to doing it right.
TRANSCRIPT & LINKS
Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/intimate-communication
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts
JOIN THE CONVERSATION
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Nov 10, 2019
15 - How the New Science of Adult Attachment Can Help You Love Better
Science has learned a lot recently about our instinct to stay secure by keeping people close. Here's how you can put this knowledge to work.
TRANSCRIPT & LINKS
Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/attachment-style
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Nov 4, 2019
14 - 10 Signs You’re in a Healthy Relationship
Is your relationship growing strong, or is it time to ... leave? (Yeah, pun intended.)
TRANSCRIPT & LINKS
Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/self-care/healthy-relationship-signs
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
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Oct 27, 2019
13 - The Best Way in the World to Keep Your Partner Happy
You don't need gifts or fancy vacations to make your partner happy—it's a whole lot simpler than that.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/dating/keep-partner-happy
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
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FOLLOW RELATIONSHIP DOCTOR
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Oct 20, 2019
12 - How Not to Have a One-Sided Relationship
It's easier than you think to find yourself in a one-sided relationship. Here are three things to look for in a good, equal partner, and they all begin with the letter R.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/one-sided-relationship
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
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Oct 13, 2019
11 - The Best Way to Win an Argument with Your Partner
The best way to win an argument is to make sure your partner feels like they’re winning, too. Here's how.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/romance/win-argument
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
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Oct 6, 2019
10 - Three Ways to Prevent a Sexless Relationship
Sex can take a backseat in a relationship for surprising reasons. Here are three ways to keep physical intimacy alive and prevent a sexless relationship.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/prevent-sexless-relationship
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
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FOLLOW RELATIONSHIP DOCTOR
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Sep 29, 2019
9 - How to Handle Negative Self-Talk on a Date
When you have no idea what the other person is really thinking, it's easy to assume the worst. Here's how to keep your brain from sabotaging your dating life.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
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FOLLOW RELATIONSHIP DOCTOR
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Sep 22, 2019
8 - How to Make Tough Decisions as a Couple
For thirty years, I've watched couples struggle with tough decisions, where compromise just isn't possible. Here's what works, and what doesn't.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/decision-making-relationships
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
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FOLLOW RELATIONSHIP DOCTOR
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Sep 15, 2019
7 - Are Soulmates Real?
Are soulmates real? Believing you've found your one true match may not be the best thing for your relationship. Here's another way to look at "the one."
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/are-soulmates-real
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts
FOLLOW RELATIONSHIP DOCTOR
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Sep 8, 2019
6 - Are Politics Ruining Your Relationship?
What do you do when you love someone but their politics drive you crazy? Is it possible to stay connected across a political divide?
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/politics-relationship
Check out all the Quick and Dirty Tips shows:
www.quickanddirtytips.com/podcasts
FOLLOW RELATIONSHIP DOCTOR
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StephenSnyderMD/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SexualityToday
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Sep 1, 2019
5 - 7 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Try an Open Relationship
Open relationships can be complicated. Before you go looking for that first extramarital hookup, see if you can answer these seven questions.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/romance/before-you-try-open-relationship
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Aug 25, 2019
4 - Three Kinds of Long-Distance Relationships and How to Survive Them
If you want to thrive as a long-distance couple, first figure out what stage your relationship is in. Then plan accordingly.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/kinds-of-long-distance-relationships
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Aug 18, 2019
3 - Three Ways to Save Your Relationship from Technology
Want to save your relationship from digital distraction? Make sure you understand the psychology of how online media really works.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/save-relationship-technology
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Aug 11, 2019
2 - Help! I’m in Love with a Narcissist!
People don’t walk around with name tags saying, “Hi, I’m a pathological narcissist.” So make sure your partner isn't one of them. Here's how.
Read the transcript at https://quickanddirtytips.com/
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Aug 5, 2019
1 - Understanding Your Love Language
It's really not that hard to identify someone's "love language." Just notice what they most complain about!
Read the transcript: https://quickanddirtytips.com/relationships/romance/whats-your-love-language
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Jul 16, 2019
Introducing The Relationship Doctor
Introducing a new podcast from Quick and Dirty Tips.
Whether you’re just starting out in your relationship or have been married for 50 years, your relationship is ever-evolving. The Relationship Doctor has you covered when it comes to questions at each step of the way.
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