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True Stories of The Lives of Queer and Trans People
4 days ago
how to have hard conversations
this week is audio from my virtual presentation at the Secular Student Alliance virtual conference. I talked about how to have some of the hard conversations we're having right now about racial justice, gender, sexuality, and other topics where we might be trying to bring someone around to a different point of view
Jul 23, 2020
store bought is fine
i started taking an anti-depressant for my anxiety. here's how that's been going...
Jul 16, 2020
when you actually get cancelled
A full transcript of this episode is available here There's been a lot of talk about cancel culture lately. Its the 21st century version of the Satanic Panic. There was an open letter released by Harpers Magazine decrying this new climate of what they called censorship and suppression of views that diverge from the mainstream. They never get too specific. But when you see the names of the people who signed this open letter, their actual meaning becomes pretty clear pretty quick. My new friend Dawn has some feelings about that. She came out as trans and *actually* became the target of the sort of thing the signatories of this letter imagine they're experiencing. The Harper's letter: https://harpers.org/a-letter-on-justice-and-open-debate/ The response letter: https://theobjective.substack.com/p/a-more-specific-letter-on-justice Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining Support the show via Paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining
Jul 9, 2020
intro to communism
My new friend Will is giving us a primer on what communism's all about!
Jul 2, 2020
ask callie: volume ???
Awhile back I said I was going to make mailbag episodes a regular thing. Then the world kind of erupted. But this week is that mailbag episode! Planning to do these about every 8 weeks or so. Each one will be accompanied by a patrons only version, so if you're interested, check out patreon.com/queersplaining. This week on the patrons only version I'm going to talk about burnout, a bit about my relationship and more! Love you friends <3
Jun 25, 2020
just a taste
We've heard story after story of the super messed up things the police are doing in response to the protests happening across the country. My new friend Kevin got arrested in the course of a protest in Cincinnati, and what they did to him and some of the other folks who were arrested is pretty terrible. This is their story. Support the show: paypal.me/queersplaining patreon.com/queersplaining
Jun 18, 2020
WE WON ONE!
Jillian T Weiss comes back to talk to us about what the latest SCOTUS decision means and doesn't mean Follow Gillian Brastetter for more on the utter failure of the mainstream media to highlight trans voices in their media coverage of the SCOTUS decision. Her thread is here. I talk about Patreon a lot because its an important part of keeping the show going and paying my bills, but I know a monthly donation isn't practical for everyone. So if you want to support the show with a one time donation, you can do that via paypal. paypal.me/queersplaining thanks friends, love you lots!
Jun 11, 2020
thinking about the think pieces
Tuck from Gender Reveal is here to help us talk about "objectivity" in journalism and why we need to think critically about what we read, even from outlets we may trust. I'll be back to storytelling next week, but this is vital stuff Check out The View From Somewhere Follow Morgan Givens @Optimus_Mo
Jun 4, 2020
Black Lives Matter
Resources: Anti-Racism Media: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRlF2_zhNe86SGgHa6-VlBO-QgirITwCTugSfKie5Fs/preview?pru=AAABcnXnOhM*YNlgMgo4D07mNyOtlVctmg Another Resource Guide: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hpub-jkm9cLzJWqZSsETqbE6tZ13Q0UbQz--vQ2avEc/edit?usp=sharing If you're white, this is an org you can join and support to talk to and hold other white people accountable in the fight for racial justice: https://www.showingupforracialjustice.org/ 7 Ways To Support Black Lives Matter: https://www.timeout.com/things-to-do/how-to-support-black-lives-matter
May 28, 2020
the queer class of 2020
I had the good fortune to be invited to a virtual lavendar graduation ceremony a few weeks back
May 21, 2020
intention is the secret sauce
You might remember Miri from a few weeks ago when they gave us some really good coping tips for the moment we're living in. Miri's also a breast cancer survivor. They created a super meaningful ritual in response to their impending double mastectomy. So they share that story and then talk a little bit about how we might build rituals into our own lives to find meaning and to cope.
May 14, 2020
Kage has always been a singer. That got more difficult when he started T.
May 7, 2020
giving yourself completely
Paul was one of many people in the middle of the fight over gay marriage in the United States. And not in a way he would've ever wanted
Apr 30, 2020
don't forget to shave
body hair is a messy topic. my friend Kaeden shares a story about a time he had to make a real important decision about his. and we dive a bit into the history of how we in the US got to where we are around body hair beauty standards. its....not great. Further reading (and the sources for my research): https://eportfolios.macaulay.cuny.edu/brundage13/files/2013/09/Caucasian-Female-Body-Hair-and-American-Culture.pdf https://www.vogue.com/article/body-hair-new-generation-not-shaving https://www.mic.com/articles/151191/the-unusual-and-deeply-sexist-history-of-women-removing-their-body-hair https://www.mic.com/articles/141283/women-are-talking-about-pubic-hair-8212-and-that-s-a-good-thing https://www.historyundressed.com/2008/03/ladies-have-you-ever-forgotten-to-shave.html
Apr 23, 2020
Lots of trans folks have complicated feelings about the word dude. Helen Zaltzman from the Allusionist joins me to help unpack the word's history and usage. A few trans friends also join me to talk about why we love or hate it. Support the show via paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining Support the show via patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining
Apr 16, 2020
from the greek for "beatiful voiced"
I dig my voice, but it took me awhile to get there. being a podcaster and a public speaker, I'm in sort of a unique spot in having years of documentation in that area. This week, a retrospective!
Apr 9, 2020
a crash course in coping
Apr 2, 2020
finding your voice
trans folks have lots of feelings about our voices. this week we ask some questions. next week we'll get some answers
Mar 26, 2020
disabled in the time of coronavirus
lots of disabled folks are pretty heated right now. they're seeing mountains moved to provide things they've been told were too much for them to ask for. its time to do some soul searching as a society...
Mar 19, 2020
James and Kat
Awhile back I did an interview for another podcast I was producing. I made the episode and released it in the other feed, but 1. i don't know that i did the best job putting together the episode. I was punching above my weight as a producer, and 2. the episode got like 40 downloads because it was on a totally different feed and it was like the 2nd or 3rd episode i did in that series. These folks deserve better! In these trying times, a story about folks persevering and coming out okay on the other side. Love you, friends
Mar 5, 2020
BSA is dying, and we should let it
Shannon Downey (aka Badass Cross Stitch) was what she calls a "ghost boy scout." Her family was a scouting family, and she has so many good memories of her proximity to scounting. Until she tried to get a job at The Boy Scouts of America.
Feb 27, 2020
Back in October, I was super fortunate to get to perform at Bawdy Storytelling in Chicao. The recording of that night got lost, but I adapted my story from that night into a personal essay audio piece for the show. Support the show via Paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining Support the show via Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining
Feb 20, 2020
finding your place and your people
Elizabeth went in search of a queer utopia. They found...something different... You can buy their book here: Get the audiobook: http://estocheneditorial.com/shop Get the paperback: Amazon - https://amzn.to/2S6RujJ B&N - https://bit.ly/2tZmJ8F
Feb 13, 2020
Online gaming isn't always known for being the most wholesome thing. But I found a game that really nails it. I played it a little and talked to one of the folks that helped make it. Wholesome content this week (except for me repeating a nasty thing I heard someone say in a game once. You can skip to 1:51 to get past that part and you'll still get the wholesome). Love you friends <3 The music in this episode is from the actual Kind Words soundtrack and its freaking rad. The composer's name is Clark Aboud and his stuff is amazing. He graciously gave permission for me to use his music for the sound design in this episode. Its streaming on Spotify and Apple music, and you can purchase it directly _here_. You can buy Kind Words for 5 bucks on either _Steam_ or _Itch IO_.
Feb 6, 2020
trans immersion class
Molly Woodstock makes a rad podcast called Gender Reveal. They recently made that and their consulting business their full time gig.
Jan 30, 2020
Hadassah Damien is on a mission to help marginalized folks get stable and secure with their finances. ridefreefearlessmoney.com Support the show via paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining or via Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining
Jan 23, 2020
megatron is a queer icon
Jonathan is a toy collector. They track their queerness in a very specific way with a specific set of action figures of a specific character.
Jan 16, 2020
callie's first time warp
there's a lot of queer content that's considered essential that i've never seen. this past weekend, i started working on fixing that. i saw rocky horror picture show for the first time, and i was NOT ready for the feels it had me in.
Jan 9, 2020
child of poseidon
Aisling has a career that she loves. Transphobia is getting in the way, and that sucks.
Jan 2, 2020
in defense of the resolution
its new years. in defiance of internet cynicism, we're setting some goals and planning for some awesome shit we want to do in the next year Support via Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining Support via Paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining
Dec 26, 2019
leaving diet culture behind
Eli's gender journey involved unpacking some pretty serious baggage around their relationship with food and body image. Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining Support the show on PayPal: paypal.me/queersplaining
Dec 19, 2019
chik fil a day
This week, a piece of hate chicken inspires random acts of kindness.
Dec 12, 2019
Emilia's not waiting
I saw a pretty disgusting display on Facebook a few weeks ago. A newly out trans woman did something pretty cool. And instead of celebrating her achievements, some members of the trans community went after her for not taking more care with her appearance, whatever the hell that means. We don't do respectability politics here, so I invited her on to talk about what she accomplished, how it felt to have your own community come after you, and what she has planned for the future. Check out Binary Free NYC on Twitter @binaryfreenyc Support the show via Paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining Support the show via Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining Callie's on twitter and Instagram @calliegetsit The show is on Twitter @queersplaining and Instagram @queersplaining_
Dec 5, 2019
This week I'm thinking about the past. I'm thinking about the seemingly arbitrary ways we measure the milestones in out lives. Four friends and I unpack where we've come from and where we've ended up. Eli's Blog: https://the-orbit.net/heinous/ Alyssa's Blog: https://the-orbit.net/alyssa/ Willow's Business: http://www.willowthewispmetalwork.com/ Willow's previous episode: https://www.queersplaining.com/2018/10/25/182-you-can-tell-whatever-stories-you-want/
Nov 28, 2019
Good news everyone!
This week, good news only. Love you friends <3 Support via Paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining Support via Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining
Nov 21, 2019
Transgender Day of Remembrance 2019
Monica Roberts' blog: transgriot.blogspot.com Keanna Mattell dancing: https://www.facebook.com/ciara.charleus/videos/vb.100000502624167/2500618129964917/?type=2&video_source=user_video_tab Tony's Insta: @snowleopardferret
Nov 14, 2019
the only good thing about being a boy...
Jordan is cis, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a gender story to tell
Nov 7, 2019
what it means to be Lakota
Joey is a Lakota two spirit person. This week they taught me about their life and their culture, and I'm super grateful <3
Oct 31, 2019
gender is spoopy
Lots of trans folks use costumes as gender exploration, here's a few stories about that <3 Support the show via Paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining Support via Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining
Oct 24, 2019
saving derby's soul
Roller Derby has been an amazing place for me to exist as a queer and trans person. It hasn't always been that way. Not for everyone. This week I'm talking to someone who helped make it as awesome as it is today. Her name is Gloom <3 Support on Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining Support via PayPal: paypal.me/queersplaining Music by Cloudkicker, used under Creative Commons
Oct 17, 2019
who says i was thinking?
I have another super important anniversary coming up. I tell the story of how Celes and I met and our first date pretty often. It was even an episode of the podcast a long time ago. But I've never actually featured her voice before. I wondered if she remembers things the way I do. We have a very serious disagreement on a super important point of fact. Did I ask her if she liked sausage gravy before I made it for dinner for her that night? I have receipts... Support the show on Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining Support the show via PayPal: paypal.me/queersplaining Music by Cloudkicker used under Creative Commons
Oct 10, 2019
saying it out loud
National Coming Out Day is this Friday. So here's a thing. Support via Patreon: patreon.com/queersplaining Support via Paypal: paypal.me/queersplaining Music by Cloudkicker, used under Creative Commons
Oct 3, 2019
identity and boundaries and dating, oh my!
A few months ago, I did an Ask Callie episode, where folks sent in questions to get advice on things they were struggling with in their lives. I thought it was a good thing and got lots of positive feedback, so I decided to do one again. For future episodes, shoot an email to email@example.com
Sep 26, 2019
the black trans project
We hear lots of stories about black trans women dying. We don't hear so much about black trans women living. This week I talk to someone who's doing something about that.
Sep 19, 2019
two a**holes and a website
This week, my talk from The Triangle Freethought Society near Raleigh, NC. Three case studies and a moral argument as to why deplatforming and violent resistance are effective and morally correct ways to resist right wing extremism.
Sep 12, 2019
Names are a big freakin deal. And this week I'm sharing the story of one person who has a particularly cool story behind hers <3 support the show: patreon.com/queersplaining Music credits! first girl talking to me. by Barradeen | https://soundcloud.com/barradeen Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US -------------- I Don’t Know Anything by Le Gang | https://soundcloud.com/thisislegang Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US ---------------- just chilling out by Barradeen | https://soundcloud.com/barradeen Music promoted by https://www.free-stock-music.com Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en_US
Sep 5, 2019
Literature is super important. And this week I'm going to turn you on to someone who's doing some pretty cool work to preserve the LGBTQ community's literary history. requeeredtales.com firstname.lastname@example.org
Aug 29, 2019
10-8: how scared should we be?
Some important stuff is happening at The United States Supreme Court on October 8th. The question: does the 1964 Civil Rights act protect LGBTQ folks from employment discrimination. Lots of folks are pretty nervous, and I am too. So I talked to an attorney who specializes in this sort of thing and asked her what she thought. Her surprising take is that she thinks we'll win. Listen to find out what she thinks might happen. Check out Jillian's law review article here Music by Cloudkicker and Drake Stafford, used under Creative Commons
Aug 22, 2019
Ashton P Woods - what about today?
Ashton P Woods is a man with a lot going on and a lot to say. He was good enough to give me some of his time when we were at Skepticon together. http://www.ashtonpwoodsforhouston.com Music by Cloudkicker and Rosevere, used under Creative Commons
Aug 14, 2019
what if they disagree?
This past weekend, I had the privilege of attending Skepticon in St Louis. Among other awesome things that happened, I moderated a panel called "What if They Disagree?" How do we handle it when there seems to be an internal disagreement among a marginalized group. What is our place as allies in trying to advance the causes of racial justice, gender justice, and so on, when we're confronted with conflicting views from inside those groups. There is right and wrong, but no group is a monolith. Its a difficult question, and one we tried to tackle in this panel discussion. Check out these important links! Ashton P Woods for Houston Atheists Talk Podcast Free Hearts, Free Minds Heinous Dealings Blog Ex-Muslims of North America Music by Cloudkicker and Lee Rosevere, used under Creative Commons
Aug 8, 2019
Our culture is a jerk for how few tools it gives us to think deeply about ourselves. Relevant links: Alyssa's article: _https://the-orbit.net/alyssa/2016/03/08/baby-problem-steps-porn-edition/_ Her blog: https://the-orbit.net/alyssa/ Miss Mako (the YouTube channel Alyssa refers to): _https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdZQ4Vo7-54mx15dQRONKzg_ The Comics Site: http://www.tgcomics.com Music by Drake Stafford, used under Creative Commons.
Jul 31, 2019
This week, something a bit different. I get lots of messages from folks asking for advice on one thing or another, and I love talking with folks and bouncing ideas off of them and helping them through whatever they're dealing with. I figured I'd make an episode of it! If you think this is a cool idea, shoot me a note at email@example.com with your advice questions, and maybe I'll do another one soon! Here are the links from Anonymous' question about evidence for transness: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321258.php https://whatweknow.inequality.cornell.edu/topics/lgbt-equality/what-does-the-scholarly-research-say-about-the-well-being-of-transgender-people/ Music by Cloudkicker, used under Creative Commons
Jul 25, 2019
my friends, i've found it
We're all looking for something. For some people it's spiritual, physical, emotional, psychological... For some it's anatomical. My wife helped me find something I hadn't realized I lost this week. It's a happy coincidence that it also happens to be the two year anniversary of one of the most important dates in my life. So, this week is an intimate look into Celes and I's world, and a pretty special night we had. Music is by Cloudkicker, used under Creative Commons
Jul 18, 2019
life is not a cartoon
Humans love narrative. We base much of our lives around it. It's very important for that reason. It's why so many of us find so much meaning in TV shows and books and movies and comics and so on. But there comes a point where reality overrides that. This week's show uses a tarot reading to take me from start to finish through that process on a super important question I'd been ruminating over. Tony's kickstarter is here
Jul 11, 2019
it all comes back to necromancy
If I say "Atheists in the United States need to think more about how we interact with folks in minority religious groups" I'm guessing that'd be pretty uncontroversial. There's one group of people almost ALWAYS left out of those conversations. check out Tony's Kickstarter here
Jul 4, 2019
We spend a lot of time saying we need to talk about mental health. Let's go ahead and have that talk. My friend Zach has had a long road through mental illness and recovery, and he wants to be a therapist to try to prevent other trans folks from going through what he did. Content note for serious in depth discussions of mental health and recovery, including references to self harm and suicide. Above all, take care of yourselves, friends. Here's a link to Zach's fundraiser if you're in a position to help: _https://bit.ly/2woO5Ct_ Here's some information about Emotional Dysregulation Disorder: _https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Borderline-Personality-Disorder_ Note: A more common name for Emotional Dysregulation Disorder is Borderline Personality Disorder. That phrase comes with some pretty serious stigma, and Emotional Dysreglation Disorder is a proposed change to the name that has been suggested by some professionals, and is the term Zach prefers. Here's the…
Jun 27, 2019
callie is in a complicated relationship with pride
I know I'm not the only queer who has complicated feelings about pride. Let's go unpacking, shall we?
Jun 20, 2019
i know you have a secret
sometimes relationships are amazing, then they end. sometimes that's what makes sense.
Jun 13, 2019
Given the society that we live in, we're basically all always going to have things to unpack when it comes to gender and sexuality. I'm no different. Happy Pride <3 Find a transcript of this episode here Follow Heron on twitter @herong check out some of their work at lgbtmap.org
Jun 6, 2019
The religious right in the US definitely has a plan. And they've conveniently written it out in public for all of us to see. It's scary stuff, but its definitely a fight I think we can win. We just gotta get moving on it, like now. This week we'll hear from American Atheists' Alison Gill on what Project Blitz is, why its a threat, and how we can fight it. Find the Project Blitz playbook here Check out blitzwatch.org to see how you can get involved to stop them
May 29, 2019
Raise your hand if you're in need of some wholesome content. I know I sure am. Meet Bev. She's my mama <3
May 22, 2019
matters of the heart
Maybe someone said some transphobic things. Maybe that doesn't mean they're a bad person. Maybe we're done litigating someone's good person(tm) credentials. Maybe the internet doesn't need another hot take about trans people from someone completely unequipped for the conversation. Maybe?
May 16, 2019
to engage, or not to engage. to cut someone off, to not cut someone off. is someone being awful or just ignorant? i'm super tired.
May 8, 2019
May 1, 2019
losing a thing, finding a thing
This week, love letters. One to my past, and one to my present. Find the transcript here.
Apr 25, 2019
i had an important realization about myself. took me long enough to get there though
Mar 21, 2019
the criminal justice system was simply not made for queer and trans folks. this week we'll hear two stories of it's failure, and learn about one person's efforts to fix it. For further reading, check out below with Shanna's notes! 1. Queer (In)Justice: The Criminalization of LGBT People in the United States (Queer Ideas/Queer Action) - https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Justice-Criminalization-People-United/dp/0807051152 2. Queer Criminology: New Directions in Critical Criminology - https://www.amazon.com/Queer-Criminology-New-Directions-Critical/dp/1138824372/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=queer+criminology&qid=1553024988&s=gateway&sr=8-1 3. Criminology and Queer Theory: Dangerous Bedfellows? - This one is a textbook and is rather expensive, but thought I'd link it anyway - https://www.amazon.com/Criminology-Queer-Theory-Criminological-Perspectives/dp/1137453273/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=criminology+dangerous+bedfellows&qid=1553024910&s=books&sr=1-1-catcorr 4. Masculinities in the Making - not much to…
Mar 14, 2019
A brief history of queer and trans folks being excluded from, included into, and being excluded from military service in the United States
Mar 7, 2019
let me have a turn
sometimes a stranger steps up to help. and sometimes several more do, too.
Feb 28, 2019
Arthur was a pretty amazing kid. His sister Alex is here to tell us about him.
Feb 21, 2019
what do i do now?
those inspirational stories on the internet about starting over are cool, but the reality is a little more....complicated?
Feb 5, 2019
when the maps fail
is there ever really a time where things go like they're supposed to? when it comes to rediscovering my sexuality post surgery, they sure didn't. that's not necessarily a bad thing. it'd be just cool if these things came with owner's manuals. Music by Cloudkicker, used under Creative Commons licensing
Jan 29, 2019
eff the script
There's a script that's been written for transition. There's a script that's written for how trans women are supposed to feel about our bodies. We're not into it.
Jan 22, 2019
why we whisper
Every time a powerful man goes down for some kind of sexual misconduct, we hear the term whisper network. What are they? How do they operate? How can we do better? This week's episode dedicated to my dear friend Deb who died this week. She was a wonderfully compassionate and loving human and we're all a little less for her loss <3 Music by Cloudkicker
Dec 27, 2018
new year, new thing
I used to be that annoying asshole on the internet that was smugly above setting new year’s resolutions. Pish posh I said, time is arbitrary. If you want to make a change, just make it now! Why do we need some silly made up time to do it? But we have to acknowledge that human psychology works in certain ways, right? Most of us humans are pattern seeking creatures. We like ritual and meaning and patterns. What would happen if I leaned into that a little bit? What might I accomplish? The worst possible outcome was being another person who makes all kinds of promises to myself at the beginning of the year, then forgets them right? I’d be a little bummed, but like that’s not exactly a devastating outcome? With so little to lose and so much to possibly gain, I said fuck it. I made some promises to myself at the end of 2017. I was mostly recovered from my bottom surgery, I was secure in my day job. I was getting ready to get married to the love of my life. I’d spent the last few yea…
Dec 20, 2018
doing the most good, but....for whom?
For I was hungry, and you.....asked what was in my pants? This time of year, we hear lots of stories about the Salvation Army's relationship to the queer and trans community. Spoiler alert: they're not usually feel good stories. This week we'll hear from a few folks who have stories of their own.
Dec 13, 2018
female presenting WHAT?
Tumblr made an announcement that made lots of people pretty mad. Its also going to cause real harm to some people. This week we meet two of them. The Tumblr alternatives mentioned (these links do not mean endorsements!) newgrounds.com pillowfort.io dreamwidth.org joinmastodon.org Our outro theme is "Amy, I Love You" by Cloudkicker. Licensed under Creative Commons. Support the show at patreon.com/thegaytheistmanifesto
Nov 29, 2018
queer country? yes. queer country.
When I was a kid, classic rock was the thing in my house. In the house, in the car, it was everywhere. At the beginning of every song I’d test my mom “who plays this this song?” And she always knew. She ALWAYS knew. I was super impressed by that. When I was around 7 or 8, my mom met the guy who’d eventually become my step dad. He was a country guy. There was a pretty immediate shift in the music that was played in the car and around my house. From there it was mainstream country only. I was a little weary at first. My mom and I had a connection over classic rock. I don’t know that I even particularly loved the songs, but they were my mom and I’s thing. It was a thing we had. And it just sort of went away all the sudden. But like also, Garth Brooks is awesome, so I bought in. I went along with it. As I got older I got into Metal, and eventually emo and hardcore and indie stuff, and I stopped listening to country. I also sort of started to pick up on the stereotypes about the…
Nov 22, 2018
are those prosthetics?
Quick content note, this episode contains some gross and borderline transphobic language, references to genitalia and allusions to sexual assault. Take care of yourselves, friends <3 Starting a new story for my podcast is one of my favorite times. The possibilities are endless! I get to connect with a new person, be vulnerable with them, inspire vulnerability from them, illuminate some aspect of the human experience that’s new to me, and maybe to you! And traveling to do it is even cooler. I love traveling. Airports are kind of magical places right? They’re the places where journeys start! I used to love airports, still kinda do. Except one part. The part that being transgender makes kinda complicated...
Nov 8, 2018
wtf is rapid onset gender dysphoria?
A quick note before we get started, this episode contains lots of discussion of transphobic rhetoric, and references to eating disorders and self harm. As always, please take care of yourselves friends <3 When I came out, I had a strategy. The idea was to start close and sort of widen the circle. I told those closest to me and most likely to support me first, and I told them in person. I slowly widened that circle of in person conversations. Over the course of dinner and movie dates, and eventually phone conversations and text messages, the circle got wider. I was lucky. My friends and most of my family were almost universally supportive. Aside from expressing their love and support, there was one other sentiment I heard over and over again. People were surprised. I wore the man suit well. I ticked most of the man stereotype boxes. Giant manly beard, metal band, band t-shirts, gym shorts, lack of personal hygiene, and so on. The closet metaphor exists for a reason. From a young age w…
Oct 25, 2018
#182 - You Can Tell Whatever Stories You Want
I was a pretty stereotypically boy-ish kid. I played football, I was in Boy Scouts, I loved camping. I played with GI Joes and Transformers. I liked getting dirty and playing outside. I liked sci-fi and action movies and wrestling and play fighting with my friends. I know now, in my adulthood, that there’s no reason those things have to be gendered. But in my childhood, my adolescence, and early on in my coming out, those WERE very much gendered things. I doubted myself so hard in those early weeks and months. I’d go to support groups and hear other trans women talking about how they wanted to cook and play with dolls. They wanted to join Girl Scouts and be princesses. None of that really resonated with me. Could I really be trans if I liked boy things as a kid? I know now that’s a silly question to ask. But I was still learning. At the time it seemed a valid and serious question. The things I loved, and the way I loved those things were a very serious barrier to me in coming to…
Oct 18, 2018
#181 - Nothing Ever Changes
Content Note: Graphic Descriptions of Sexual Violence A few years ago, I had a sit-down with an Ohio state lawmaker. He had proposed a North Carolina style bathroom bill for Ohio. He laid out the basics of the bill in a press release or a policy statement on his website or something like that, I don’t remember which. But in the news story I watched, he invited comment from the trans community. Like other conservative lawmakers, he was eager to make a show of claiming that he didn’t think of trans people as predators, its just that giving us rights makes other people vulnerable. Of course he didn’t frame it that way, but its exactly what he was saying. I emailed him, and was surprised when he responded offering to buy me coffee and meet with me to discuss it. We met at a Starbucks by a mall close to me. He was friendly. He was polite. At least at first. We opened the meeting by talking about Leelah Alcorn, her death was still fresh in our minds at this point. He insisted…
Oct 11, 2018
#180 - Is It Okay To Laugh?
I've not made a secret of the fact that I'm sort of uncomfortable with standup comedy as a medium. It seems really difficult to find standup comedy that isn't misogynist, homophobic, transphobic, or makes jokes of things that I just don't find funny, even if they're not actually terrible jokes. It's often just not my style. But my guest this week has a new special on Hulu called Don't Look at Me, and it's fantastic. Her name is Robin Tran, she's a trans standup comedian. We had a great talk about the ways trans folks can fit into comedy and her own journey with mental health and using comedy as a coping mechanism for that pain. Her special can be found here. Robin is @robintran04 on twitter
Oct 4, 2018
#179 - What even is Regret?
Danielle spent some time in a rough place. She thought she regretted getting her bottom surgery. Turns out it was more complicated than that...
Sep 27, 2018
#178 - Invisible Histories
One of the most annoying ideas in our public discourse about queer and trans folks is that we are a new phenomenon. I’ve seen enough conservative pearl clutching about this new trans things to last my entire lifetime. Its insidious. You see it in the subtext of every breathless conservative thinkpiece. This new phenomenon, this new trend, this new fad. My friends, this is not only just factually incorrect, its also dangerous. Pretending like queer and trans people only exist recently in history robs us of significant pieces of our existence. Our history is in fact the history of humanity itself. You find people from all parts of the world, in all cultures, of all backgrounds who don’t fit cisgender or heterosexual norms. We have ALWAYS existed. The fact that the conversation about us has reached a new level of awareness does not, in fact, mean that we somehow just showed up on the world stage. We have always been here, and always will be. Its this context that makes illustrating a…
Sep 20, 2018
#177 - SESTA/FOSTA, and What's Up With Patreon?
Hey, before the regularly scheduled gaytheisting, a quick note... I launched a special thing on patreon where anyone who signs up before Sept 30th at the 2 dollar level or higher is going to get a sweet poster with some words from the outro of the show on it. check out patreon.com/thegaytheistmanifesto to see a picture and sign up to get one. Love you friends <3 If you follow me on social media at all, you might notice that I’ve been pretty miffed lately about some of the things Patreon has been doing. To recap, after our episode about TERFs, my patreon page was marked as adult content. What this means is that it was not searchable on the Patreon site. You had to type the URL into your browser to get to it. Because of the way credit card payment processing works, it also means that my payout was delayed. And this seems pretty shady right. We do an episode about TERFs, then a trans woman’s podcast gets marked as adults only. It’d be pretty easy to see a connection between those…
Sep 13, 2018
#176 - Conversation with a Gender Therapist
Today I'm super stoked to welcome Dara Hoffman-Fox, LPC onto the show. Dara is a therapist who specializes in working with queer, trans, and gender non-conforming clients. http://discoveryourgenderidentity.com/ <- use coupon code "podcast" to get 10% off to order Dara's book! http://darahoffmanfox.com/about-dara-hoffman-fox/ https://www.youtube.com/user/darahoffmanfox/videos
Sep 6, 2018
#175 - A Polite Conversation with Eiynah
I feel like if there’s any group of people who have to feel like political footballs basically all the time its gotta be ex-Muslims. Especially ex muslims who tend toward the leftist end of the political spectrum. I’ve seen all manner of white people and never muslims explaining to ex Muslims what their background is, how they’re supposed to feel, how they’re ex-Muslimming wrong, and to be honest it just looks super effing exhausting. So to have a talk about it we have atheist Twitter’s favorite ex Muslim, host of the Polite Conversations podcast, Eiynah. https://soundcloud.com/politeconversations https://twitter.com/NiceMangos
Aug 30, 2018
#174 - Teaching While Trans
Aug 23, 2018
#173 - wtf even is a TERF
Aug 16, 2018
#172 - Pop Culture Hero Coalition
Aug 9, 2018
#171 - Transition...Then What?
Aug 2, 2018
#170 - Vaginaversary AMA
1 hr 26 min
Jul 24, 2018
#169 - Happy Happy Joy Joy
Jul 19, 2018
#168 - Who is Marissa Alexa McCool?
1 hr 20 min
Jul 11, 2018
#167 - Rob Part 2
1 hr 20 min
Jul 3, 2018
#166 - Rob Part 1
Jun 28, 2018
#165 - Ashley
This week, something a bit different. The interview you'll hear on this episode is one I recorded for my other podcast project. That project is on hold, but this interview is too good and too important not to put out into the world. In this episode you'll meet Ashley. Ashley grew up in a conservative Christian environment and somehow didn't exactly get the memo that being queer was NOT okay. Got a thing for funding the gay agenda? Check us out on Patreon Other places you can get your Gaytheist on: TGM on YouTube TGM on Twitter TGM on Facebook Out theme music is pretty sweet yeah? The song is called Amy, I Love You by the band Cloudkicker. We use it under Creative Commons Licensing.
Jun 20, 2018
#164 - How Can You Be Christian and Gay?