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G’day Fearmongers —
On the final regular podcast of the year we’ve got a cheap and cheerful chat on the podcast that the Dude Cinema hosts have labeled “The Boys Say Some Sad News Podcast”. We’re lucky to have said hosts — Alex Jae and Bec Charlwood join us for a spot of fearmongering.
We talk about:
🚬 NZ banning smoking for people born in 2008 and later.
🗃 NZ Rental Crisis is bad.
🤖 Elon Musk being booed off stage in San Francisco.
Happy Christmas to you all, may all your policy dreams come true. We'll be back for New Year's Eve for our best of A Rational Fear sketches special.
And if you’re in Adelaide you can buy a ticket to our Fringe Festival show now!
🤑 CHIP IN TO OUR PATREON https://www.patreon.com/ARationalFear
📨 SUBSCRIBE TO OUR EMAIL LIST: http://www.arationalfear.com/
🐬 A Rational Fear is supported in part by Australian Ethical
🎟 TICKETS TO ADELAIDE FRINGE FESTIVAL NOW ON SALE
This podcast is supported in part by Australian ethical Day Lewis.
Hello, Dan, how are you?
I'm very well. I'm a little cold colder than usual. I don't know if our listeners can hear but currently, I am sitting outside. Outside doing this outdoors. It's very exciting.
You look like you're doing some sort of like war correspondent like your crash down in a car park. Like you looked at I looked like you're reporting on the Boxing Day sales.
That's well, I'm actually I'm doing some pre reporting on the Boxing Day sales. I'm here at Westfield in Chatswood on top of the roof because I'm doing my Christmas shopping and doing my Santa photo and nothing can stop the Santa photo was not even this podcast. I've had to find space and time and I've had to try to get tethering working. I hope it's all recording. I hope it sounds okay. But you know, all we can do is hoped for the best.
You sound weirdly amazing. Are you Santa? Is that what's happening? You take a quick break from your job as Santa.
My nipples are hard. I couldn't be on the North Pole. This is what this is what we have a hey, I want to say a big thank you to Joel Pittman, Joshua Nicholson toe Lowe's, Stu holding and the incredible illustrator, comedian Megan Herbert, who joined us on Patreon this week. Thank you so much. It's a great way to support the show head to patreon.com forward slash irrational fear. You get an ad free version of this show and Louis we've got some live shows coming up which remind people Adelaide to Melbourne on sale Adelaide is firming up. We've got Alex Fraser and Gabby bolt joining us for Adelaide. But Melbourne is pretty exciting. We've got Alice Fraser, Sami Shah, and somebody who did the show last year Lewis who is excited to come back to do their second ever. Comedy Spot on stage.
Yeah. Yeah. She they texted me to say in and again,
that's greatly awesome. If it's too I think it is can you put me on before them this time, so I don't have to follow the most beloved person in Australia.
You're gonna close the show. We can't rely on newbies to close the show. All hands closed the show. Yeah, so Melbourne. Make sure you get your tickets for that we are performing April 2 in Melbourne at the capital of huge venue. But we've got some great guests, including some others we haven't announced yet. So full announcement next year in the new year. I'm recording my end of irrational fear on gamma ray go land on the rooftop of Westfield. Sovereignty was devastated. We need a treaty. Let's start the show.
A rational fear contains naughty words like bricks, Canberra, and gum and section 40 of a rational view recommended listening by immature audience.
Tonight Elon Musk appears on stage in San Francisco and gets booed by a crowd of 10,000 of his children. And Scott Morrison claims Robo debt was not his fault as one of his multiverse clones was prime minister at the time, and Dominic ParaType threatens to shut down Christmas as elves vote to Unionise it's the 15th of December 2022. And this is the podcast that is Elliot banks refuses to come back on. This is a rational fear.
Welcome to irrational fear. I'm your host disgraced Sky News Anchor Dan Ilic. And this is the podcast that takes the week's news and express posts to the tip for the final time in 2022. Let's meet our fear mongers for tonight. Yes, they are the CO hosts of bobbly, the ladies guide to dude cinema podcast now, just dude cinema podcast and they're not afraid to tell you that your favourite film is probably pretty rubbish. It's Vic Charlwood and Alex J. Welcome to restaurants. Merry Christmas. You know coming into summer, we've got a big blockbuster season coming up. What is the dirtiest cinema? You're hoping to check out over summer just just give us one thing? What is the duty of cinema?
I mean, it's Tarantino releasing his next film. That would be that
basically. Is it avatar is is the new avatar.
I would have to say the new avatar is definitely the duty is first of all, it's coming back into our lives after being absent for 13 years just like my dad
will do a full dude cinema summer blockbuster at the end of the podcast, but please, stay standing. The king of Australia. It's now easier to read your majesty
just put it back the words are clearly on. Look. I wrote it in Comic Sans. I want to read it in comics in Good evening subjects and people who live in countries we forgot to invade When times were better, King Charles here to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Just another one of the many goddamn jobs I've had to learn to do at age 75. Did you know that I also have to be the head of the church to Christ almighty 22 was a year of challenges for us all. Mummy died, and one had to use a blast at inkwell. This year, we're thinking of those suffering at the hands of cancelled culture, namely, Netflix, Hulu subscription we've cancelled for the entire palace. Our thoughts and prayers also go out to those who are suffering under the rule of governments undergoing bloody coup, like in the Kingdom of Great Britain. But there is always hope. For those of you concerned about mummys legacy. Don't worry. It's in good hands. Sure the hands are a little puffy and red, but working fine. Nevertheless. So from all of the top tier Royals, except for Andrew, we wish you all a Merry Christmas Temitope put these bloody tree here. Why is it inside? Just get rid of it. Just get it get get
rid of it. Your Majesty. Of course, Your Majesty.
A tree with lights and shit all over it. You can't go chopping down trees. Think of the environment. Bloody hell
Hill. It's always good to have your majesty on the podcast. Alright, let's get stuck into some fears. Two big stories tonight coming from New Zealand First fear New Zealand passed the law to ban cigarette sales to everyone born after 2008 Yes, starting next year, the country's smoking age of 18 will be raised year on year. And so eventually it's gonna be applied to the whole population. So if you are under 50 Now, you're basically going to be banned for life for the rest of your life to buy cigarettes fear mongers, will this outride smoking ban work back?
I can hear the use of New Zealand crying? Oh no, I guess we'll just have to vape then. What can I don't friggin care. vaping is cool, guys. I reckon this is smoking, admitting defeat. This is what's happening. Giving up to vaping and they can't admit it.
There's gonna be this huge black market soon, you know, people are gonna be buying cigarettes in school, like imagine being like the one year above the people in school. Like who you can actually or you can buy cigarettes but people when you below you can't and be like, What do you think about that punk? And once some cigarettes, no, you can't. It's illegal buddy. Dude all your life, there's gonna be doing it until you at least 50 or 60. Or until you die. You know, there's gonna be
there'll be a huge black market for like, almost CGI and fake IDs. Because at some point, it's gonna be a 20 year old who needs a 40 year olds ID. So I think that's the black market is gonna be like the production value is gonna be off the chain.
And half the people in New Zealand all work at wetter so they've got the skills to make these
Do you feel as though home of Lord of the Rings that's you know, heaps of production value there. Just go go use their studios slaughter the
smoke rings now think it's good. I think if there's one thing that we've always learned is that the more rules that are put on cigarettes, the less people want to shop. I do think that like the one good thing about this is it does mean that in like 20 years, millennials will actually have something that someone else doesn't have like these are our houses now. Like we'll be able to like do you know Louis has three cigarettes.
will be basically the last cool generation because, yeah, you can't be cool. Unless you smoke cigarettes. Yeah,
probably the most shocking thing for me in this story is that there are people who were born in 2008, who are about to turn 18 In a few years now. That's, that's, that's great. I'm always surprised how time works. I think it's gonna be interesting. It's gonna be huge black market. Soon people in New Zealand are going to be bumming cigarettes and like, hiding it as if they were in school. Like, no matter what age they are, like, there'll be there'll be 50 or 60 trying to sneak a cigarette. And that's such a bizarre notion. We're
just gonna have to start placing random demountable around the city so people can
rational fear. All right, this week second fear it's another New Zealand Story. A tiny room in an apartment has been taken down off an accommodation website after someone suggested it was just a bed in a room that used to be a toilet. Yeah, the lister insisted that it wasn't designed to be lifted full time, but the cupboard size room was advertised as quote furnished and was perfect for taking naps in and you could fall asleep pee. Fully at any time and quote, this is a real home exclamation mark. And it was going for $180 A week fear mongers you can rent car parks bigger than this room in Sydney.
How much was your car park dad?
The beautiful thing about Westfield car parks during Christmas Louis is five hours free parking.
Alright, let's do that
this is not a sponsored this is not a sponsorship spot.
There's a lot of sponsorships. I like a room that you can take naps in and take craps. It's a
They said it used to like it looks like it used to be a toilet but really like any room can be a toilet when you put your mind.
You just gotta work for it. You just got to believe
that I believe I think it's always good when you're like going through a post of something, you know, real estate related. And someone has to say this is real exclamation mark. It's always
Yeah, I don't know. This is real. I mean, it means that they know it's fucked
the sentence before I feel like is even more threatening. You know, they say this is real exclamation mark. But the sentence before is fall asleep peacefully at any time. Like, that feels like a threat.
There is poison in this room somewhere.
Like opposed to other rental properties where you can only fall asleep peacefully at four and 6pm or something like it's a house just fall asleep.
I guess I'd like to give give you a sense of freedom because you you don't have any freedom to hang up your clothes. So you have freedom to sleep anytime you want.
Until the windowless
nature of it does mean that it's kind of like a blackout room. So it's like a really good hotel when you get those or you think you could go to sleep in the middle of the day because you don't know what time it is.
Yeah, and you can't buy those level of blackout curtains anywhere. They're hard to come
by. I can tell you on this in this on this rooftop carpark. I could do with some blackout curtains right now.
I just love to imagine anyone walking past you at the moment is like, Oh my God, that poor homeless man thinks he's doing
great. Another white guy with a podcast at Westfield.
looses rational fear.
Y'all got a whole different kind of culture around here. She's never coming back. We are a racist country not to get in front of some audience of white people for them to be throwing shit at me.
And finally, since this is the last irrational fear of the year, it's got a real end of school vibe to it. I feel like the last day of school we're really phoning this one in or like me, I'm car park again. I thought we would do something a little different. I want to hear your rational fears of the year. What are your nominations for fear of the year? What happened this year that made you go oh dear, that's not good. There's a few to choose from for me floods fascism. A return to 90s Fashion all reasons to be scared. But fear mongers what are some of yours? What are the things what are the the standout moments of the year that made you go? Oh, dear, that's not very good.
Well, you just reminded me of another one. So yeah, I've got two but not key number one is now low res jeans coming back. 100%. And to my main one is Johnny Jett winning his defamation case that was scary AF
sama for the lady
having a good time on the internet as a lady
just when you thought me too can bum you out anymore. Here comes the Johnny Depp Amber Heard case.
Feels good. So that was terrifying.
It was definitely one of those ones where you learn your bubble, like the comments section of any article about that. I was like, oh, there are people who think that?
Nothing. Yeah. I just pretended that we're all books. Yeah. That's how I sleep at night.
One of my pastimes is reading Daily Mail comments, and it makes me feel like the world is larger. That's for sure. Yeah.
That's a nice way of saying Fox out there.
What about you back? What's what's your number one meme of the year that made you go Oh, dear, that's not good. Oh, well,
I am an anxious person despite who I am in every way outwardly. So I love I love a spiral. It's never just one fear. It's one fear that leads to another to another to another. So what was the first block to fall was finding out that Nick Cannon wilding out host and Elon Musk? Tech fuckhead both have breeding fetishes. Okay, that's scary. The second part of the fee came when days later I saw a tick tock right and this is not facts. But still it's in here so it feels like one that said apparently your fetishes are genetic. So if you have a fetish for something, there's a super high chance your parents had that same fetish, disgusting but then I put those two together. And now all Have the kids that Nick Cannon and Elon Musk are having? They're gonna have breeding fetishes. So that means I'm gonna say 200 years from now. 92% of the world's population is going to be direct descendants of Elon Musk and Nick Cannon.
Oh my god. Oh, well, that is one way to populate Mars that is.
As long as it's Mars, and it's not bloody here.
All the people in Sydney will be paradise. Yeah.
I went to the school with a paradise. In fact, I was Dominic's house captain. I was in school when they were Redfield. They were notorious for turning up to school in an in a high ace because their family has 13 kids. Oh. Yeah. They're very prolific breeders. I mean, that's great.
Well, Harris, he's really just our own Australia's Nick Cannon isn't a
Lewis is there a fear or a moment of the year that struck to you that, you know, this year that you think I'm gonna do like a vindicated fear, like a fear that when it came true, kind of made me happier? We actually talked about it on the podcast, which was earlier in the year and in fact, at the end of last year, the president of El Salvador went all in on crypto
Germanus. That's right. Yeah, he was gonna do the crypto cryptocurrency. He was going
to put the El Salvador cash into crypto. And he's he did a big press conference. And he was wearing a hat backwards. And the whole thing was just incredible. At the time, everyone was like, this man's insane. And there was a part of me that was like, I truly believe he's insane. And I truly believe this is the worst decision he's ever made. Because he's betting everything on a unicorn. That doesn't exist. And then when it Gore came crashing, I guess we're starting to see the crash now and the inevitability, but everyone's like, Oh, wait, we're investing in a dream that doesn't exist. But like, I know that that's bad news for the people of El Salvador. But it was there was something kind of hope filled in the fact that you want you were like, This is wrong. And it was wrong, which I feel like over the last few years hasn't been the way it's gone. I've been like, this is wrong, and it shouldn't go this way. And then it goes the complete other way that I'm expecting like, every everything from like Trump onwards, like, nothing has gone everything's gone the absolute opposite of the way in my mind, it should have. And this was one thing where I was like, No, I still have a grip. Some grip on reality sense. Yeah. Yeah, there is a tiny part of the world that still
is it weird that I'm kind of envious that I'm like, yes, it's awful. It's a crazy thing to do. But if one day, albo got on TV and was like, Guys, this is gonna sound crazy. But I'm taking the federal budget and putting it on red. I'll be like, Ah, don't do that. But I want it but oh my god. You might as well double or nothing give it a go yeah, oh my god. Dan just had two strangers walk.
In the Chicago Bulls jersey. He just looked so upset at you.
This is Boomer podcasting. thing that really got struck me this year. I think the moment of fear for me was when Elon Musk threatened to buy Twitter and then forced himself to buy Twitter, and then bought Twitter and then just systematically destroyed Twitter. And the best thing that's ever happened this year so far, was Elon Musk getting up on stage with Dave Chappelle and him being booed for four minutes straight.
I can't bring myself to watch that video, even though I desperately want to but I just don't know at this. I think a secondhand cringe would just kill me.
I mean, for folks who you know, to I mean, back, you've played some big crowds this year, like you've toured with some big names.
Alan Carr, who cares who Alan Carr National Treasure Anyway, anyway, so
Alan Carr got Deke Smith up on stage. What do you think would have happened?
I think everyone would say who the fuck is that? No idea who anyone.
What what do you recognise Chappelle was thinking about when he brought Moscow up onstage.
I think he's just completely lost his bearings. I think he's like, I think he thinks rich equals cool now. And he's like, he did the same thing. So he's got a sense of humour. Let's bring him on a fucking Stand Up Show.
I think Chappelle also is running out of things. Because, you know, he does this thing at the top of the jokes where he'll say something controversial, and then be like, no, no, no. And then he'll do 20 minutes in the lead up to a punch line. And he's running out of those concepts. So he's just gonna bring out fuckheads and everyone goes
turns into Barnum. Yeah, he was a monkey on a on an elephant.
And also, like you could imagine show that in Dave Chappelle the world that no Dave Chappelle now inhabits like online or you know, like the kind of people that these days like Fuck yeah. Dave Chappelle are also like Fuck yeah. Elon Musk, generally speaking so he would have, I reckon he genuinely would have thought it was a slam dunk. Yeah. So
in thinking about why it is weird that so many people booed him is he that hated that even chapels audience like that,
like a lot of transphobia. But I hate this fuckwit
know, that guy with all the kids.
I mean, if I had to pick who Dave Chappelle is audience what social media they most flocked to, it's definitely Facebook. So a lot of them will probably just like, Who's this guy on stage.
But they're just building Twitter. They're like,
it was a gig in an arena in San Francisco. San Francisco is the headquarters of Twitter. Twitter has just like killed like 5000 people's jobs. Like it's such a strange like, what as Musk why would you want to get up and be stand in a room of people who hate you? Clearly, because you just lost heart. You lost all these people's jobs this week? Yes.
That's another fetish of his. He's got a debt. What does that
humiliation finish? Yes, he does. And we're just jerking this
man off guys. What we need to stop.
We need to turn the other way. The man ignore the richest man in the world because they have
all the footage up. Did he have a boner? Ah.
I know. I know the top of the show. You mentioned his earlier banks who's really just teeing off in Australia at the moment, but she is obviously pretty, like, unpredictable to say the least. But she also is when she's on fire like one of the funniest people in the world. And she's like a poet when she gets onto like a sledge situation. And she wants called Elon Musk apartheid Clyde. And it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard that she came up with that she came up with it. She was telling this whole story about how she went to visit Grimes Milan Moscow to like collaborate and she got lost in their house. And she's just like teeing off on grinds and teeing off on it. She was like apartheid Clyde. And it's the whole thing is worth reading. It's genuinely the best piece of prose that has been written in the last decade.
In a second we're going to have a dude cinema podcast ranking of all the movies that are coming out this summer. But first, we have another Christmas address from another world leader who's remarking on the incredible profits that the Australian fossil fuel companies have made this year.
That I either as a law and bookkeepers revenue. Now Queen is Dead. It is up to me la dear emir, poutine, to fill, vacuum and give Christmas message. 2022 has been a difficult year for enemies of Russia. But it's been a good year for Aussie fossil fuel companies. Thanks to me, Santi, it'd be a poutine when I bring you gifts like world peace, voluntary conscription, and energy market uncertainty when you might this means also the fossil fuel companies can raise prices higher than six storey apartment complex with dangerously open windows. And if Australian customers accidentally fall out the window, it is their own problem. You're welcome or see fossil fuel companies you're not sure option A and if you look under Christmas tree, I have left 45 billion for you and severed head of beer. Just to remind you who your friends are. From all of us here in Kremlin. Happy Christmas, even if you are Western dogs.
Thank you glad deer meow. Always good to have glad on the pod versus
Elon Musk has shared another feed into save the planet. The father of 10 children says that the world needs to make more babies and keep digging for oil.
If we don't have enough kids, then we will die with a whimper in adult diapers. And that will be depressing make more babies
just pausing the podcast here to say Louis I'm very cold. And I think I'm freezing because of global warming. And I think global warming is a major problem. And that's why I've moved my super to an ethical super company. Well,
I mean not to sound like a to TV radio presenter dead but I think there is no cold is not necessarily to do with global warming. It's it's because you're doing this from a roof or roof or the Westfield people doing podcasts on roofs that's been happening for 1000s of years. And so you can't necessarily put it down to being manmade podcasts on roofs
and what's worse is I'm doing it from fossil fuel infrastructure a car park and it's not the most ethical place to to do a ethical podcast drop.
No, this this is a very strange ad because no one can see that you are on a roof but I've just I have to stress this enough Dan is doing his podcasts are it's so important that Australian ethical, do good with your super and not just invested morally and ethically but for as much money as possible because I beg if you did get a studio
we're trying we're trying we're doing this podcast for 10 years this is the first sponsor we've had and quite frankly the it pays the bills but it doesn't put a roof over your head so big thank you to Australia ethical and we really value your support and it's an absolute thrill that you allow us to get keep the show on the road and I think they're coming back next year Lewis which is very exciting. Amazing. Merry Christmas, and an ethical Christmas to all
extra the extra fears extra level of fear factor extra
extra fear extra as we head into extra fear it's great to have some real movie buffs on the show the ladies go to dude cinema now just caught dude cinema first of all ladies go to the cinema. Why did you lose the ladies guide part was it just because SEO or you're worried that Elon Musk would come calling?
Honestly, it was just because we kept getting everyone to saying our name a little bit wrong because it's too late. It's like it's six words long. It's too long for people to remember. We were getting like the chicks guide to Lady cinema. Dudes guide to chick cinema.
Lady cinema of dudes. Yeah,
my mum this morning called it go girls cinema. We've only been doing it for four years but great. So cool. We just cut it down to two so people could find it. So just dude, cinema. That's what it is. Everyone remember dude, cinema send some
of the big blockbusters coming out this year over summer. Which ones are going to end up on your podcast? Do you think? Hmm.
There are a few coming out. Hey, so as you said earlier, back, I do definitely agree avatar is going to be on the list for sure. Because, like you said, it's been what 13 years did you save since the last 18 years? Yeah, and dudes fucking love a franchise that spans decades. So this is perfect dude cinema.
And now similar. So was it split a generation. So that is definitely a big pull factor for men. Men love to argue. And this is going to create tension and men are going to
Yeah, next Christmas is going to be wild Christmas lunches,
allegedly going to be two more sequels. Before 2028 Judging by the schedule, that's probably going to be closer to like 2038. Again, separating another generation. So when we are a geriatric podcast, we will still be reviewing avatar and I
will be so geriatric podcasts will be watching this TV series spin off of Avatar,
and our VR goggles and where the Navi and we're flying on those big things. And we're like, oh, it's not as the CGI is not as good as whatever Marvel's putting out or things like that.
Also is directed by James Cameron, which is, you know, film bros, uncle, basically, James Cameron.
He thrives in a water movie environment. We know this from Titanic. So look that does have my hopes high. However, it is three and a half hours long, which is not compatible with my extreme ADHD that has only gotten worse over the pandemic. I will be bringing my phone into the cinema, I will not be apologising for it
halfway through back, you could just start watching the first Avatar on your phone.
Or people get
to Sam, where things look so much older, it doesn't make any sense.
Well, thank you so much for joining us on irrational fear. Really appreciate it big Charlwood Alex J. What an absolute thrill to have you do a crossover podcast with us with me on a roof. Which is you know that you know, you know, not many people get to experience this and with good reason. It's not a very practical place to record a podcast. I don't think I'll be doing it again.
It's been a pleasure to be across over on the boys say some bad news. We'd love it.
Boys guide to bad news podcast.
Yeah, that is great. That is excellent. That's gonna go on our festival poster. What would you guys like to plug?
Oh, well, the podcast dude cinema Coronavirus. We're on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Spotify apple. I'm on Instagram at Alex j one and Tik Tok and Twitter as well. Again
the podcast I'm just gonna say it again. So people really dude cinema podcast. I am child backward on Instagram. That's probably the only place you could contact me. You can try other places. You won't ever get this go to Instagram and I'm touring next year. Come on down and find the details soon. price the price on Instagram anyway I'm sorry.
Everyone is touring that is for sure Louis you want to plug anything
dead? Of course don't forget to buy tickets to all the irrational fi live shows next year of which I remember all of them.
Big thank you to rode mics Australian ethical our Patreon supporters Rupert Degas Jacob round for those excellent sketches Joel Pittman, Joshua Nicholson, Joe tufts, Stu holding and the Megan Herbert the Great, the great illustrator Megan Herbert for joining us on Patreon. Please hit us up on patreon.com Ford slash irrational fear. That is it for the year that is it that it went down for rational fear. But there will be a very special best off show on New Year's Day as per usual as hosted by Ella Jones all the best sketches of the year all in a row. It always does very strange. Like it's it's a dichotomy that episode. It always gets like over 10,000 listens and I always lose three Patreon subs.
It's like the most popular show yet the Patreon people like Alan Jones deletes you haven't listened to it yet. Yeah, you don't know me like Alan Smith doing Alan Jones.
We're coming back next year. Dan, are we are we cancel? We're back. No we're not like
we're here to cancel.
We weren't on the board of cancellations.
We will be back next week to come. We will be taking a about a three week break I think four week break and then we're back. First week of February Lewis so put that in your diary until next year. There's always something to be scared off by
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